Something about the sound of an airplane was soothing to JC. The combination of the hum of the engines and the slight vibration of the floor was always something that could lull him to sleep even on the longest flights. 

At the moment, he was feeling at ease, seated in the first class cabin with Samantha. His hand was in hers, his chair leaned back just slightly. They had been in the air for a few hours. The conversation had been casual, catching up on the past few weeks. She was mid story about Ashley's whirlwind deal in London when he realized he was gazing at her with a soft smile. He finally said in a whispery voice, "You're so pretty, you know that?"

"Hmm?" She looked up to see him looking at her with the most loving eyes and it made her smile. She often stopped to ask herself what she did to deserve this loving, amazing man. "Oh Josh." She gave his hand a squeeze. 

He kissed her hand, looking into her eyes for a little while. "Can I ask you something?"

She smiled softly, nodding. She held onto his hand, allowing herself the long moment to get lost in the blue specks of his eyes. "Of course, sweetheart."

"I'd like to know everything that happened with him. I feel like I don't know the real story, and I know that I'm not supposed to believe him over you." He looked down at his slightly bruised knuckles.

She closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh. She let go of his hand and took a moment for herself. Then, she reached for a sip of her wine and took a sip then looked up at him. "You injured yourself to protect me." She sighed again. "I told you that I'll tell you whatever you want to know."

"You're going to be my wife soon. Of course I did. That's my job to protect you, Samantha." His gaze was intent on her. 

She nodded as she looked at him. "I hate him," another soft noise escaped her lips, "I met him at a party in New York City five years ago. I was just made a regular by Torrid, and he had just signed to his team. He was charming and charismatic and I couldn't get over the lust that had built up around us in a whirlwind." 

"Oh, I'm sure he was quite the charmer before he let his career and ego go to his head." He furrowed his brows. He felt that familiar anger toward Julian rise up again. 

"The ego and the attitude really started when he first started using steroids. I think he realized how competitive the NFL was. He had the nastiest temper and was addicted to getting bigger and faster and stronger. We were fine for the first 6 months then the competition set in. All of the sudden he'd come home and he'd be angry. He'd start to drink vodka to unwind after practices and then he'd hit me. And a few times he threw me into the wall when he didn't get his way." 

JC began to search her face as he was hearing all of this information. His jaw set and his cheeks began to get redder by the moment. "I want to break more than his face..."

"But then he'd be so sweet. And he showered me with flowers and jewelry and empty promises of all kinds of things when he'd return from road games. And I wanted to believe him. I thought I could fix him." She shook her head. "And I tried to mask the pain by eating. I never had a problem with it growing up until him. Food was a comfort." She sighed, "And then it was a spiral. He'd call me a pig and tell me no one would ever love me because I was a worthless piece of shit. But then in the next breath he'd start to feel good and put the moves on me. Even when I didn't want sex, when he wanted it, he got it. And he was rough until he got what he wanted. When he was on a testosterone high sometimes I'd just lie there and cry and he didn't even notice." 

He swallowed thick as he watched her. He could see a darkness settle over her eyes as she went back in her memory. "Samantha. I think I might actually want to kill him." His eyes closed as he took her hand in his again. "I am so so sorry that happened to you."

Her voice got even quieter as she continued, "We went on a trip to Hawaii about a year into our relationship. Things were looking a little bit better. He got into the Pro Bowl. I forgot to pack my birth control with me. I told him, and he told me that I was stupid for forgetting, but he'd pull out. We went to an NFL party that night and he got me absolutely drunk. The next thing I know..." She looked at him and her eyes were wide because this was the part of her life that she kept so tight shut in a box inside her heart. "I was..." She shook her head and sighed, "He got me pregnant."

JC's voice went down to just above a whisper. "If you don't want to finish the story, you don't have to. Nothing is going to change the way I think or feel or how I love you." He touched her face. 

She shook her head. "No. You deserve to know. And I'm going to have to talk about this, since that asshole is trying to tell everyone I threw his baby in the trash." She made a face. "I was a few days shy of 18 weeks pregnant." She looked down at her hands and began to loop her thumbs, moving them around in a circle. "He was getting ready to leave to go to Seattle to play. We had just gotten into a huge fight over the fact that I hadn't finished packing his suitcase for him. He was so aggressive. He had pushed me down the steps into the kitchen and I ended up on the ground with bruises everywhere. After that he stormed out to meet the team. And a few hours later I was getting ready to go to bed. I just started bleeding everywhere once I got into the bathroom. I called 911 and they brought me to the hospital. It turned out that I miscarried. Because I was already 18 weeks along, the way it all happened... it was painful like labor. And after all of it, I needed a DNC done. And I was all alone."

"...I can't even imagine this." He watched her for a few long moments. "How was no one there for you? Oh my god. I hate him. I think I could murder him in his sleep. If I ever see him again..." he rubbed his own face. "Oh my god." 

She let out a sigh. "He couldn't be bothered. When I got to the hospital my bruises on my face and abdomen brought the police in. They took pictures of everything and interviewed me. When the team found out, they covered everything up at the time. Gave me money to "disappear" for a few months. I went home to my folks in Florida to recover. They didn't even know I was pregnant. It took me about 3 more months to get up enough courage to end it all. I finally filed a restraining order against him and I was gone. No looking back."

"I'm so fucking sorry that he had to be the example of the type of boyfriend that you don't deserve. He's a piece of shit. Like the worst piece of shit. I want him to eat shit." His face was getting flushed as he shifted in his seat. "You're the best fucking thing to every happen to ANYONE."

"But he'll continue to swear it was me. I'm the worst in relationships. I'm the one that's the pig. The binge eater, hider of bad habits." She shook her head. "There are times when the inner voice inside still believes him. But she's much quieter now than she was when we were together."

"You were never the problem, ever. Do you understand that? Please don't believe anything those voices tell  you because you are the most beautiful human being I've ever met in my life. I'm the lucky one, I'm the luckiest guy in the world because I get to be the man  YOU want to be with." His voice had a raspy tone, just above a whisper.

"That's why I need you to love me extra hard sometimes, Josh. Because those are the times I don't think I'm worthy of you and every little bit of amazing love that you have to give me." 

"I will love you harder than you've ever felt love in your life." He reached over and pulled her to stand up from her seat, down onto his lap. He wrapped the soft blanket around her. "I can promise you that."

She smiled, bringing her lips down to his cheek before placing kisses on it. "You already have been. You are truly the best thing that's happened to me hands down." She sighed, allowing herself to snuggle into him. "I'm sorry for not telling you about the pregnancy. I was going to, but there's never been a right time for it. We are coming up on the date next week and that's when the wounds are fresh. Last year we were filming the video... so it was a distraction." 

He wrapped his arms around her snugly, looking up at her with a soft smile. "I promise to be a distraction whenever you need me to. Just say the words. I'll figure it out. I've got you forever now."

She smiled, leaning in to softly brush her lips against his "Forever never seemed like something I could handle until this handsome man swept me off of my feet. And now I can't wait for my forever with you." 

He whispered, "Now I just want to marry you tomorrow and run off for a month to be with my wife."

She smiled, touching on his still unshaven face. "Mmmm. But I know you've got big dealings in New York, blue eyes. And we have two families to bring together in a few weeks. The Bentley and Chasez families."

"I know, I know. It's going to be wonderful, and I can wait... but errr I can't wait. I just want you to be my wife so bad." He grit his teeth and growled the words at the end of the sentence. 

She couldn't help but giggle at his growl. "Baby, in my eyes I'm already Mrs. Chasez. The life we've already built together is pretty great."

He smiled and leaned up for another kiss. "May will be here before we know it. It'll be worth waiting for. Fuck. You've always been worth waiting for."

"So are you," she grinned on his lips. "Husband to be."

****

A few hours passed, and JC was thoughtfully playing with her hair, looking down at her napping on his lap as his thoughts continued to flood his mind about everything. She made a sleepy noise as her eyes fluttered open slightly. He smiled and whispered, "Are you hungry or anything?"

She shook her head no as she looked up from his chest, snuggling in a little bit more. "No. Not right now. Would you like something?"

JC shook his head as well before placing a kiss on her head. "No. I'm okay, just trying to make sure you're taken care of right now. That's kinda all I care about." 

"Maybe in a little bit we can order dinner. I kinda just want you holding me right now." She sighed softly. "My appetite will come back." 

"I'll hold you as long as you want. And baby you eat whenever you're ready. And whatever the hell you want too." He smiled softly. "I think this is the opportunity you need to take some time off like we did a few months ago. It's the holidays anyway."

"I was hoping to be off for the rest of the year anyways but I just had to support my best friend." She smiled. "But, with that said I don't think I can do anything else for awhile. I want to lay low and just take time for you and our families."

"Thank God your mind was already there. I was trying to figure out how I was going to have to almost demand you not to work. I was preparing myself for an argument." He sighed.

She looked up at him with tired eyes. "You'd have won it. I don't even know that I could go head to head with you on anything right now."

He put his lips to her temple where they rested for awhile. He closed his eyes, listening to the hum of the airplane and her soft breathing. They sat there in silence for another 15 minutes before he spoke again. "I think maybe it would be good for you, and for us to maybe do a little therapy."

She looked up at him and blinked a few times, staring at him as she processed what he said. When she was able to speak, her voice was barely a whisper. "You're not having second thoughts about marrying me are you?" Her heart started to pound, thinking the worst-- he thought she was broken. 

"What? No! Of course not." His eyes remained intent on hers. "I mean just to help us get through this whole situation. Also a little couples therapy would be good before marriage. I'm sure I have stuff from my past relationships that I'm holding inside too."

"I mean, I don't think it would be a bad thing. Talk it all over and figure it out." She shrugged.

"I think I would like us to. I don't ever want to go through something with you that I can't handle. After seeing all that, I just want us to be proactive. I love you too much." He always had Ashley and Justin and their younger relationship dynamic in his mind and his own unhealthy coping mechanisms he had thrown himself into. 

She nodded, bringing her head back down to his chest letting him hold her again. She was listening to his heartbeat to help ground her again because her anxiety was beginning to get the best of her. He deserved someone less flawed than her in his mind, she went and ruined their perfect fairy tale bubble. 

He could sense her anxiety and quietly reclined a little bit more in his chair, leaving the conversation alone. He wrapped his arms around her just right with the blanket. "Let's get a little more rest. We have a long flight honey."

She whispered, "Josh? If you want to postpone the wedding we can. I don't want you getting into something... I mean..."

"I don't want to postpone anything Samantha. I love you and would still marry you ass tomorrow. I love you SO much that I want to take a healthy approach to conflict and sensitivity in our relationship." He pulled her face up to look at him. "I'm not having second guesses about us."

She just shook her head and smiled softly. "Sometimes I have a hard time believing that you're real. And I would marry you on this plane right now if I could. The fact that you love me so much to want all of this for us."

"You know my answer would always be right this instant. Of course I love you so much. You're my everything, Samantha." 

"You're my best thing ever." She sighed, but this time it was gentle. She felt a sense of relief- her first in many hours. "Do you want to get some food now? Then we can fall asleep for the night?"

He grinned. "Baby, nothing more romantic has ever been said to me at a time like this." He reached for the call button. "What are we in the mood for?"

She laughed. "I could go for some chicken. I don't even care what kind is on the special in the cabin. And some mashed potatoes." She touched his face and his little goatee that was beginning to come in. It was new for her and she was digging it.

He pursed his lips. "Mashed potatoes and special chicken sounds good to me. What does my baby want to drink?" He leaned his face closer, nudging her hand sweetly. 

"A glass of Malbec," she smiled, letting her fingers play at the little goatee. "Are you getting some jack or a glass of red with me?"

The flight attendant opened the sliding door to their mini cabin. "Mr. Chasez. How may I help you?"

JC flashed her a smile as he sat up a little straighter in the seat, holding Samantha on his lap. "Hi. Yes, we'd like a bottle of the Malbec please. Also we will both have the chicken, mashed potatoes and one with Mac and Cheese, the other with green beans, please. Thanks so much."

"It's my pleasure Ms. Bentley, Mr. Chasez." She nodded and closed the door to the cabin again.

Sam looked at JC with a little impish grin. She had missed JC taking control of situations like this while she was away. "Mmm. Mac and Cheese. That sounds so good." She stood up and straightened out her dress and leggings she was wearing. 

"Heyy... where are you going?" He quickly moved his seat back to an upright position and made a face at her. 

She grinned. "Just a potty break before we eat. Besides, I can't eat dinner on your lap. When we're done I'll be happy to snuggle back up."

"I'm sure we could make it work. But," he smirked, "I suppose I'll opt for eating separately and full snuggles afterwards. But only if you share a dessert." 

She laughed softly, leaning against the sliding door. She rubbed at her tummy absentmindedly. "Dessert is on the priority list. It's been at least 2 weeks for me."

"Well, I don't know if it's been that long for me," he bit his lip, "I may have been stress eating the last few days."

"You're my little stress eater," she smirked, "so cute." She laughed softly and opened up the door to walk toward the bathroom.

"You should have seen the size of the candy bar I ate on the way to the airport!" He grinned as the flight attendant brought them the wine. 

Sam laughed softly at JC as she closed the door behind her so he could have his privacy as she walked to the bathroom. She took a few extra minutes to wash her face and look at her reflection in the mirror. She knew she looked like hell - her tired eyes and dark circles under them gave away the stressful few days her body had gone through. 

When she returned a few minutes later, JC was smiling with two glasses of wine in his hands. "Our flight attendant said we might have some turbulence so we need to put our seat belts on. You're back just in time." 

"Yes Captain Chasez." She smirked as she settled in the seat next to him, taking the glass and holding it up to his. "To my amazing man. Thank you for still loving me. I'm thankful you're mine."

"Always, baby. I'm thankful you're here with me and you're mine. Forever... on this crazy life journey. We'll look back at this time and just smile you know."

"Mmm." She clinked their glasses together and took a sip. "Someday we'll look back at the craziness of our careers and smile at our ambition. And how in love we were." She grinned cute, "Of course we'll still be in love. Just with like a houseful of kids." Her giggle is soft and she took a long sip of wine with that.

He smiled softly, watching her expression with that. "It better be full of children. Gorgeous, beautiful Chasez babies. My wife, still hot in her mom jeans, while trying not to lose her shit. Yes please." He licked his lips and took a long sip as well. 

She laughed, watching his expression as well. "You'll be watching me get in my mom jeans and be one happy dad." She grinned, "I'll be close to losing my shit and you'll be letting those kids run the house. Daddy will be the favorite of course."

"Ohhh absolutely Daddy is gonna spoil the shit out of those babies." He grinned, "And of course I'll be happy watching you get dressed. Me and my dad bod."

Her eyes sparkled as they delivered their food. "That's gonna be the hottest thing ever ok?" She bit her lip with a cute smile as the flight attendant took off the silver covers and set up the table between them. 

He licked his lips and looked over at her as he took a giant bite of mashed potatoes. "Yeah? So you're telling me these abs I work hard for isn't sexy anymore?"

She giggled, taking a bite of the Mac and Cheese. "The confidence you have when your 6 pack is on display is sexy baby, you know this."
"Just making sure. I mean... if you're telling me that my dad bod is gonna be hot to you, I'd be working on that instead." He took a few bites here and there, watching her. "Probably lose some of my dancing skills."

"Baby," she grinned, "I'm going to love dad bod and daddy bod.  You know this." She took her wine and took a few thoughtful bites of the chicken. "Those dance skills though... you in my kitchen dancing in your dress pants, don't lose those moves." She licked her lips.

"My what?" He laughed, drinking his wine before swirling it around. "I won't lose my moves. I'll just be a little slower. Maybe."
"The morning after the gala. You slept in your dress pants and were dancing in the kitchen the next morning," she giggled. 

He waved his fork at her, "You know I was so uncomfortable that whole night in those dress pants and yet I was still so happy to be with you. I remember."

She laughed, taking some of his mashed potatoes and she grinned, watching him. "You boyband boys and your tight pants."

He scoffed playfully and took some of her veggies. "They aren't tight, they're just tailored. I don't see you complaining about tight pants when I'm onstage." He smirked. 

"When did I complain?" She grinned, "I just said you boybands and your TAILORED pants." She giggled, pushing the plate away a bit. "I never mind getting to admire you. And as I recall you've never seemed to have a problem with me appreciating what you have to offer."

He gladly took her plate to finish it off, "Baby, of course not. Because it usually results in me getting some sex."

She started to laugh, shaking her head. "Joshua Scott..."" 

He was grinning so cute at her while he put their plates off to the side. "Now there's the laugh that I fell in love with."

"It's here." She smiled, "It's always going to be here." She sighed softly. In moments after they were finished, they came to clear off the table and stowed it back where it belonged. "Should we have them turn down the seats into the bed? Or I can just curl up on this side and close my eyes and daydream about what I remember about those mirror selfies in your sweatpants and what you did to me."

"Ummm... if you think for one moment that I'm going to let you fall asleep over there..." He got up out of his seat and started to pull at it to get it set. 

Within another few seconds, the flight attendant swept in with a stern British accent. "Mr. Chasez!" 

JC laughed softly, "I'm just trying to make your job easier. I'm sorry."

The flight attendant offered him a kind smile as Sam stood with a grin, watching her fiance look sheepishly at her. The double bed was created between the two seats with blankets and pillows ready to go. 

JC looked at Sam's smirk and he laughed. "Hush."

She grinned and allowed herself to crawl into the bed once it was all set up. "Not saying a word baby..."

"You're not, but you loved that. I know you." He laughed as he kicked off his shoes and crawled in to cuddle her into his body. 

"Meeee?" She grinned and let him wrap his arms around her as she settled in up against his body. She breathed in the smell of his cologne and it made her smile. Everything about him was predictable and safe, but exciting rolled into one. "I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Chasez."

"Uh-huh." He pulled her in even closer so she was as close as could be. He brought his forehead down to hers. "When we wake up we will just about be there baby. Safe and sound."

"And we'll be sleeping in the New York condo tonight." She let out a soft sigh. "Now that I can have sweet little dreams of your red lifeguard shorts..." Her giggle was soft but naughty.

"Samantha Bentley," he let out his low laugh, "I think you need the D in your life with the way you're talking."

She poked him playfully. "Joshua Chasez. You told me to daydream about whatever I wanted. I knew I'd get you going. Besides, for all you know I could choose to daydream about mashed potatoes."

"I know! You're the one talking about little shorts." He tickled her sides. "I'm not gonna put moves on you here tonight, don't worry."

"Oh, I'm so relieved." she smirked and giggled as he tickled her. "I knew I was marrying a gentleman."

"I am a gentleman, thank you," he smirked, "I come rescue princesses and bring them back home." His fingertips slowed from their tickling motion to a gentle caress on her back. 

She let out a soft hum as he caressed her back that way. It made her smile. "You'd better not be rescuing too many princesses, Prince Charming. I'd hope I'm it."

"Only one princess that I even care about saving my love. There can only be one." He leaned in and kissed her lips just once, a soft and gentle one. 

She smiled and whispered, "Hey Josh?"

"Mmm yes my love?" He smiled, rubbing his nose back and forth against hers.

She smiled and whispered, "Thank you for saving me. Thank you for loving me beyond my wildest dreams. I don't ever, ever want you to stop fighting for me and saving me." 

He nodded, whispering, "Of course I'm going to continue to fight for you. For the rest of our lives, all of my days... you're the reason. I'll love you more with every moment I can have with you baby."

She let out the softest little sigh and burrowed farther into his arms, letting herself truly relax and be vulnerable as she just falls out. Sleep comes and it's amazing unlike the drunken sleep she got the night before. 

JC hummed and continued to caress her back as she slept. He knew she was tired from all of the stress but falling asleep that fast only confirmed it. Her face finally looked peaceful and he knew just how precious she was to him. Knowing all of the pieces of her history only made him grow even more fiercely protective of her.

When they landed in New York, he had some surprises up his sleeve for her that he was looking forward to. He let out a little mumble and sigh as sleep finally caught up to him.