The first month of 2012 had gone nothing like either Hannah or JC had planned. In fact, it had barely “gone” for either of them at all.

JC had tried to keep busy with his music, but nothing real had come of it. Hannah had been distracting herself at work. Having logged so much overtime that her boss had forced her to take a couple days off, her mind had wandered to new opportunity, and she found herself reaching out to contacts from her past life. 

They had avoided each other; avoided reality, but they couldn’t anymore. JC couldn’t stand the reminders of her, and she needed her stuff back.

“...Well...that’s the last of it,” She sighed, closing the back door of the small van she had rented.

JC stared at it. 3 years. 3 years worth of stuff. Her stuff. From HIS house. Why hadn’t he ever asked her to actually move in? She had a key. It felt like she had lived there, especially now that she was leaving. He swallowed the lump in his throat and felt it sit on his chest.

“Uh...I can drive you back...if you want.”

Hannah smiled softly. “Thank you, but I’m fine. I just wanna get things sorted.”

JC nodded “Yeah...Yeah that makes sense...Get the stuff back in your own space…Guess more room now with Jade not there anymore.”

Hannah leaned against the van, looking down “Yeah...Um…” She looked up at him “Jace I’m ...I’m moving…”

The lump in his chest moved back to his throat. “...What…?”

“I uh...There was an opening ...in San Diego...as a writer...I figured now might be a good time to-”

“Right... Right. Annie, that’s...Congratulations,” he resigned himself. 

“Thank you…” she replied.

Walking toward him, she held out her copy of the house keys.

Taking them, his hand lingered on hers. “I uh...Hannah ...I’m sorry.”

She nodded, a sad smile finding the corners of her mouth “Yeah...Me too, JC…me too,” she sighed.

He leaned in, gently, placing his lips on hers. Pushing against him, her resolve gave out briefly, as she leaned into a kiss. Their tongues briefly found each other before they both pulled back, an unspoken agreement. 

“Take care of yourself, Jace…” she managed as she pulled her hand back and took a step toward the van.

“You, too, Annie…” 

Climbing into the van, she started the engine as he met her at its side, tapping the top of it for good luck before she left. 

“Bye, Jace…”

“Goodbye Hannah…”

Hannah started down the road, her resolve slipping as she looked back just once in the rearview to see him standing there, hands in pockets, watching her drive away. He was squinting in the sun, expression unclear.

Making it 20 minutes down the 405 highway, she felt her chest tighten, making note of an off-ramp to a rest area. Turning off, she made it into the parking area  before quickly turning off the engine and slumping forward on her steering wheel. 

Window up so no one could hear her, she let go. She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried like this. It was built up frustration, total defeat. She was tired of things ending like this. Only this time, she had convinced herself it was different. Should she have waited? Would things have ever changed? 

***

Justin carefully made his way into a house that wasn’t his. Slamming the door shut, he managed to get JC to the couch, tossing him onto it. Their quiet night out had turned anything but. Jc had more pent up steam to let out than either of them had realized.

“WHOA.” JC exclaimed, landing hard on a cushion. 

“Dude. You good? C...What the fuck?”

“Leave me alone…” he waved sloppy arms at Justin. 

Justin sighed. “Mannn...I’m getting you water...STAY there…”

JC fell onto his side, half awake. Minutes later, Justin returned with a bottle of water, pulling JC back upright. 

“Hey...HEY...You need to drink this…” he slapped his face lightly to get his attention. 

JC shook his head “No...Bed...Fuck…”

Justin sighed, sitting next to him “Listen...I get it...But you’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow, dude.”

“I feel like shit NOW...It’s SHIT…”

“C...I know you miss her...but you can’t do this…”

JC waved him off again “Ahhh! Shhhh ...I fucked up, J...I FUCKED UP…”

Dude...We can talk about it tomorrow. WATER” he handed him the bottle of water. 

Setting the water on the table, JC stared at him “Call Hannah…”

“What?”

“Hannah she...Hannah will come...for water..and food. I’m hungry.”

Justin winced. “C...Hannah’s not...Um...She’s busy.”

JC nodded “Go get her.”

Sighing, Justin looked at him. “I’m ordering pizza, ok?”

JC fell back onto a cushion, eyes closing “Ok….”

******

Hannah made her way through the office, excited but a little overwhelmed at all the new people she had met in her first week at her new job. Her new place was still a mess, boxes unpacked and furniture waiting to be delivered. She had jumped headfirst into a new life, and so far it was going well. 

Wanting to get to know her assistant editor a little more, she was trying to remember where she said she sat. Having been an editor herself, she knew they would be working very closely together, and she wanted it to be a good working relationship. 

Smiling as she found where she was going, she walked over. 

“Kaycie?” she greeted her. 

“Oh hi! Hannah...How are you settling in?” the slightly younger woman smiled back at her.

“It’s been good! Everyone’s been really nice.”

Kaycie smiled “Good! Yeah, we are kind of like a family here...So what’s up?”

“Well, I wanted to check on the benefit layout. I know I just got here but that deadline is coming up soon. “ She smirked a little “Also, I thought maybe we could grab lunch? Break the ice a little?”

Kaycie nodded “Wrapping up the benefit layout today. I can have it to you by….3? “ she thought before answering “And lunch sounds great! Have you been to The Local yet?”

Hannah smiled “Can’t say I have…”

“Their menu is insane...They have everything. 1 o’clock?””

“Perfect!” Hannah answered. It was then she noticed a laminated 8x10 on one of Kaycie’s cabinets. 

“Oh...Uh...Nice picture…” Hannah focused on it.

Kaycie followed her eyes and beamed “Oh my God...Are you an *NSync fan??”

“Uh, Kinda I mean-”

“Which one is your favorite??” Kaycie was grinning. 

Great. 

“Oh uh...I just appreciate the group, ya know?” Hannah managed. “Nostalgia and all that…”

Kaycie nodded “I’m TOTALLY a JC girl...since I was like...13” she giggled. 

“He’s pretty cute…” Hannah tried to be polite, feeling like she couldn’t breathe on the inside.

“UGH. So hott. Anyway...Wanna meet downstairs at 1?”

“What?” Hannah shook herself out of her head.

“For lunch...Wanna meet in the lobby?” Kaycie replied.

“Oh! Yes...Yeah that works. “

“Great! See you then,” Kaycie smiled.

This...was going to be interesting. Of all the places she needed reminders, this was not one of them.

**

Hannah took a sip of her iced tea as Kaycie finished telling her a little more about her career goals. She was driven, REALLY driven, and from what Hannah could tell, one of the most positive people she had ever met. Could be exactly what she needed as she started her new journey.

“So, I figure, why not stay close to home until I save a little money, ya know?” Kaycie finished.

“That makes perfect sense...Probably what I should have done,” Hannah chuckled a little. 

“No! Everyone is different...Plus, LA? That’s like...the dream around here. It intimidates me a little.”

Hannah smiled “It’s not as scary as it seems, not if you don’t want it to be…”

“So I have to ask...Why did you leave?” Kaycie asked carefully. 

Hannah sighed “Well..Life is funny. The opportunity is here. Besides, a change of pace is nice sometimes.”

Kaycie nodded “Well, the guys are nicer here...I can tell you that,” she laughed. “From what I’ve seen, anyway…”

Hannah almost choked on her food. “Eh. I’m not really paying attention to that. Happily single.”

“Yeah?” Kaycie asked “You need to teach me your ways. I’m so sick of dating,” she laughed.

“So..don’t..” Hannah shrugged. 

Kaycie giggled a little “I know, I know...Serial monogamist, though. I’m terrible. Since high school. I need a break.”

Hannah smirked “BELIEVE ME, so do I…”

Both women laughed. Hannah felt herself relax. She was starting to really like how laid back everyone was here.

**

A month later, Hannah had really worked herself into a groove at the office. Her and Kaycie worked really well together, and it was fun getting to know a whole new set of people. Her apartment was mostly unpacked, and she had made time to check out a little of the San Diego nightlife and restaurant scene. She was calling it research, since her main assignment was the “Around Town” section of the newspaper. 

10 am, and she was mid restaurant write-up when Kaycie came bounding up to her desk.

“Oh my God, Hannah…”

“Um. Good morning…” Hannah chuckled “What’s up?”

“Did you see what JC did??”

Hannah’s heart sunk into her stomach at the mention of his name. 

“Um...No?”

“Check your email...I sent you the link. He saved a baby on the beach! UGH..Can you imagine?” she swooned a little. 

“What?” Hannah looked to her email, confused. Clicking the link she found, she stared wide eyed at the article.

“Miami?? What’s he doing in Miami?” Hannah wondered aloud.

“I don’t know,” Kaycie smiled, encouraged “BUT there are a lot of studios out there...YOU DON’T THINK?”

“Oh um...Probably not. Maybe just a vacation or something.” 

Hannah’s mind was racing. It wasn’t like him to just up and have a getaway for no reason. He was such a homebody. 

“Maybe. He WAS with a girl, apparently…” Kaycie pointed out.

“What?” Hannah looked to her. 

“Yeah..See...Says right there...the family was talking to him and the woman he was with.”

“Oh...Yeah well...He has a reputation…” she tried to keep her voice even, her heart sinking deeper and deeper into her body. 

Kaycie laughed “If I looked like that, I would too...OMG Did you see him on Trevor Live last year?”

Hannah smiled softly, pausing before answering. One of the last events she had gone to with him. She had been SO proud of him and he had looked and sounded incredible that night. She got lost in the memory for a brief moment, remembering a happier time.

“Um. No. What’s that?” she bluffed. “Is that the one for LGBTQ youth?”

Kaycie smiled “Yep! They do a benefit every year. He sang ‘True Colors’ He is so amazing. I seriously wish he would perform more.”

Hannah smirked back at her “And you’ve never met him?”

Kaycie blushed “Once… like 3 years ago outside America’s Best Dance Crew when he was judging. We had standby tickets for a taping but didn’t get in.”

Hannah looked down, hiding her amusement. “Oh...Was he nice?”

“SO nice...Ok...I’m on deadline...Talk later?” she snapped back to focus.

Hannah grinned at her “Yeah...Talk to you later, Kaycie...I mean Ms. Chasez…” she teased.

“Oh my God, STOP…” Kaycie laughed. 

Hannah exhaled once she turned her back to walk away. Against her better judgement, she glanced to check for prying eyes, pulled her headphones over her ears, and searched YouTube. 

“JC Chasez (NSYNC) performs ‘True Colors’ at Trevor Live”

Clicking on the video, her lips tugged into a smile as she focused on the screen. As beautiful as she remembered. She felt herself melt a little, eyes soft. He hit an extended run at the end, and her eyes glazed over a bit.

“Damn it, Hannah…” she whispered to herself “Get back to work…”

** 

JC sat looking at the Ocean, his balcony table bathed in the harsh Miami morning sun. Lazily sipping his coffee, he wasn’t thinking about anything. His red shoulders reflected all the time he had spent zoning out. 

Getting nothing done at home, his 4 brothers had convinced him a little vacation might be a good way to cheer himself up and release some stress. So far, all he had managed to accomplish was drinking a little too much, getting sunburnt, and meeting women who could not keep his interest.

Still, time away had felt kind of good. Maybe that was the point. Not doing anything. No responsibility. No reminders of deadlines and self-imposed standards. No reminders of her. Her. 

He looked down to the paper that had been delivered to his room, wishing it was a different one. He sighed, silently scolding himself. 

This wasn’t LA. They weren’t going to have any San Diego papers. He shouldn’t even be READING any San Diego papers. It had become a new morning ritual, though. 

Coffee and the San Diego Union Tribune. A smile finding him whenever he saw her name. He had built an impressive mental list of events and restaurants to check out if he was ever in town. All on her recommendation. She really was a fantastic writer. Writer. No longer editor. He wished he could actually congratulate her. Take her out to celebrate. 

Glancing back through the clear sliding door to his room, he stared at the empty bed. Wrinkled sheets. On one side.

Would she have liked it here? He should know this. Three years. What had he missed in three years? He should have paid more attention. Always caught between casual and the next step. 

With anyone else, the other side of that bed would be wrinkled in this moment, maybe even occupied. 

Not after her, though. He didn’t need it to be. He didn’t want it to be.

Pushing the paper aside, he picked up his phone, mindlessly scrolling Twitter, until he stopped. 

Oops. He was still following her. Sunglasses on, she smiled against a short seawall, waffle cone in one hand, glistening water and a stilted wooden building behind her. In the distance, a ship accented the horizon. 

“I think I like it here…” she had captioned. 

He smiled as he found himself clicking onto her profile. A picture of boxes in an empty apartment. 

“Help…” the caption read.

And under that, there it was. The last picture they had ever taken together. And it wasn’t even their faces. Two hands holding two glasses, toasting.

“Let’s Go, 2012! <3”

JC let out a breath as he took in the image. Closing his eyes to take a breath, he navigated back to his own profile. Turning his phone around carefully, he positioned himself against the balcony wall, snapping a quick shot. 

“Sun time is Fun Time!” He typed the caption.

Was she still following him, too?