JC sat nervously in a private room, everything a blur around him as Olivia clung to him for dear life on his lap.  Having screamed at the idea of waiting on the cold exam room table, JC happily held his arms around her as they waited for treatment. 

He was just as scared as she was, and trying not to show it. This was his least favorite place to be, and seeing her so uncomfortable was ripping him apart. She was still struggling to breathe, and the rash on her neck had gotten worse. It felt like a million years had gone by, even though it had only been a few minutes.

“J-o-osh..” she huffed in broken breaths through her tears “I’m... scared…”

He tightened his jaw, steadying his own nerves as he squeezed her arms gently “I know, sweet girl...but the doctors are gonna make you feel better. Can you be brave? For me?”

She sniffled as she took deep, but short breaths “O-Okay...You stay here?”

He sighed as he brushed a hand over her hair “Yeah, Livie...I’m not going anywhere…”

JC’s eyes went wide as a nurse entered with what looked like a tube and a thick needle. Turning away from Olivia, he had a silent pep talk with himself. He HATED needles. They made him more uncomfortable than most things in life. He wasn’t a scared 4 year old, though. Olivia needed him. She needed him to be strong, to be the one to tell her it was all gonna be ok.

Seeing the tube for herself, Olivia moved to get off his lap and run. “No….NOOOOO!” she screamed as she broke the hold of his arms.

Moving forward before the nurse could, JC wrapped his arms around her in a hug “Hey...heyyy….” he soothed “Livie...It’s ok…”

“No no no!” she continued to protest, thrashing in his arms. He tightened his grip slightly, making sure not to crush her, as he spoke “Livie bug! Wanna make it go away?” he asked gently. 

She nodded, lip still pouting. 

“Ok. Close your eyes…” he spoke softly, remembering a trick from his own childhood. 

Olivia looked at him suspiciously “Go ahead, Livie...Close your eyes…” She relaxed a little as she closed her eyes tight.

Glancing at the nurse, his eyes encouraged her forward as he continued to speak to Olivia, and lifted her gently on the exam table. 

“Ok...Ok good...Now...Livie...Where does Skye live…?”

She smiled slightly before answering “Um…’Venture Bay!”

JC smiled as she sat straight up with excitement. 

“Yes, that’s right! “ He shook his head, blushing as he started singing 

“Do you know the paw patrol...the paw patrol...the paw patrol...Do you know the paw patrol who protects adventure bay?”

Olivia giggled “CHASE IS ON THE CASE…” 

The nurse beamed as she held back from laughing, approving eyes on JC as she gently moved to position the Epi pen. Aiming carefully, she administered the jab quickly to Olivia’s leg.

Immediately, her eyes popped open and a scream escaped her. 

“Heyyyy…” JC soothed, feeling like he might keel over at any minute “It’s over...It’s over…”

He kept his gentle grip on her until the tension in her body released slowly.

“ALL DONE, sweetheart!” the nurse beamed at her as she held a cotton ball to her leg. “Do you want a regular band-aid...or a princess band-aid?”

“PRINCESS!” Olivia grinned, forgetting about the needle.

“I thought so…” the nurse smiled, pulling  a pink glittery band-aid from the pocket of her scrubs. 

“I keep these around for emergencies…” she winked at JC.

“Thank you,” he smiled, his voice low. 

“You doing ok?” the nurse gave him a concerned look.

The color was rapidly draining from his face, and a bead of sweat had formed just under his hairline. 

“Yeah I um..” he shook his head “Not big on needles…” he whispered. 

The nurse smiled. “The doctor will be by shortly...I’m gonna get you some apple juice..”

“Oh no I’m…” Jc protested, gripping the arm of his chair. 

“...You’re white as a ghost..Olivia...Would you like some juice, too?” she smiled.

Olivia nodded. “Yes, please…” 

**

JC’s head snapped up as he heard footsteps approaching. Hannah was practically sprinting to the ER bed, panic on her face. 

“LIVIE...BABY!” She threw her arms around Olivia as she kissed the top of her head and hugged her tight. 

“Mommy!” she hugged her back and buried her face into Hannah. 

Smoothing her messy hair back, she looked at her. “Are you ok? Baby can you breathe?”

“Yes, mommy…” she clutched her carton of apple juice. 

Setting his own carton down, JC let out a slow breath. “She um. Anaphylactic shock. Raspberry jam. Raspberries. They gave epinephrine with an Epi pen. They wanna walk you through keeping one at home and how to use it. Did a small blood draw, too. Waiting on bloodwork to come back…”

Hannah stared at him “You...There were...needles?” she gave him a meaningful look. 

JC nodded slowly “Uh...yeah…”

Hannah’s eyes went slightly wide “Are YOU...ok?”

JC bit his lip, blushing slightly “...Fine…”

Hannah nodded in a daze, one hand on her chest. “I um,” she swallowed the lump in her throat, her heart still beating out of her chest. “Thank you, Jace…”

“Hannah I...I didn’t know about raspberries...You didn’t-”

“I didn’t know…” she spoke softly, looking down. 

“Sounds like she’s in GREAT hands with you two…” Andy snickered behind Hannah. 

“Hi Daddy…” Olivia whispered, her breath more even and steady now.

“Hey beautiful!” Andy pushed past Hannah to hug Olivia. “I bet you were so scared...Mommy and daddy are right here,ok?”

Olivia stared at him, unsure. “Okay…”

JC’s eyes were daggers into Andy. “I need some air…” he looked to Hannah, standing as he wobbled a bit on his feet. 

“Jace…” Hannah’s eyes went wide. 

“I’m fine…” he held a hand out, pausing a beat before taking a sip of apple juice. Composing himself, he looked to Olivia “I’ll be right back, ok Livie?”

Olivia smiled at him “Ok, Josh.”

“We got this, man... “ Andy called after him. 

Turning around, he spoke directly to Andy “Bit late for that, don’t you think…” 

Hannah looked between the two of them, moving closer to Olivia.

“Jace…”

“She’s my daughter. Late for WHAT?”

“Interesting...We missed you last time she had a cold…”

Andy smirked, taking a breath “Missed you when she was born…”

Hannah’s blood pressure started to rise as she struggled to stay calm in front of Olivia.

“Stop…” she whispered.

“You poisoned my kid and you want some kind of bragging rights for making sure it didn’t kill her?”

JC’s jaw was tight and his entire face was on fire. “You’ve ignored your child for 4 years and you wanna play dad now?”

Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “ENOUGH. Both of you. OUT!” she pointed toward the exit.

“Hannah..” they both protested at once. 

“Get. OUT…” she repeated through gritted teeth. Olivia’s eyes were wide next to her. “Mommy...I don’t want Josh to leave…”

“He’ll be back later, baby…” she spoke evenly, eyes still on the two men. 

“Nice, Hannah…” Andy scoffed at her as he made his way to the exit.

“Annie…” JC pleaded, rubbing the back of his neck as he came back down to earth.

“No...You too. You need to cool off...Both of you...Work it out over there. I’m a little busy at the moment…” her eyes went to Olivia. 

JC sighed, biting his lip. “I’ll be in the waiting room…”

JC made his way to the waiting room, finding that Andy had beat him there. 

“Proud of yourself?” Andy threw at him.

JC sat far enough away from him to have his own space. “Olivia’s ok. That’s all I care about, man…”

Andy huffed. “Thank you.”

“What?” JC’s eyes went wide.

“I said...Thank you...For...saving her life…”

“That was the doctors…”

Andy shook his head “You acted quickly. You got her here.”

JC gave Andy a suspicious look “What else was I supposed to do…?”

“Look I...I love my daughter…”

“Ok” 

“I don’t. I don’t know what I’m doing. Then you just...Show up and...You just...Get it?”

JC snorted “You think I know what I’m doing? I have no idea…”

“Look… I don’t LOVE how close she is to you, but ...I guess that’s my own fault…”

“I’m never gonna hurt her, Andy…”

“I know that…” Andy sighed “I never hated you, man…”

JC gave him a quizzical look. “Then why-”

“You almost got me canned.”

“I’m sorry- WHAT?!” JC stared at him. 

“Your album wasn’t...progressing the way it should have. I didn’t have the right answers. I didn’t have as much control as I let on, either.”

JC let out a slow breath, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Wow…”

Andy closed his eyes, wincing as his next words came “I’m...sorry…”

“Is this...Like some anger management thing or something…” JC looked at him in bewilderment. 

“Heh...Not a bad idea...I just need to get my shit together. That’s all.”

“Look, man...This isn’t even about us, honestly…”

“Yeah...You’re right...and I told Hannah I’m gonna try. I mean it this time…”

JC studied him, reluctant to trust, but willing to be the bigger person “Ok. Wanna start by letting Hannah call the shots in there…” he nodded his head toward the treatment area.

Andy smirked “She’s going to, anyway…”

JC smiled. Hannah’s independence and hard head were two of the reasons he loved her as much as he did. “Wait until you spend more time with Olivia…”

Both men made their way back to the exam area. Hannah stood as they approached. “No. She’s asleep.” She looked to JC “She thinks you’re mad at her.” 

Hannah was PISSED. 

Jc felt his heart drop to his stomach “Annie...I’m sorry…”

Hannah’s eyes scanned his, shifting away “We’ll talk about it later. “ She directed her gaze toward Andy.

“This is NOT a good start… “He’s in her life. Like it or not. HE stepped up when you never did. He made a mistake, but he took care of it. THAT’S what being a parent is, Andy…”

Andy hung his head, shoving his hands in his pockets “Yeah…”

“And YOU.” she turned to JC. “He’s her FATHER. That isn’t changing. Letting him back into her life could be a HUGE mistake, but I have to try. And we have to be a team.”

JC nodded “You’re right.”

“I don’t care what happened in the past anymore. I don’t care if you two hate each other. What you WON’T do...Is put my daughter in the middle of your shit…” Her eyes were dark and there was venom in her tone as she kept her voice just above a whisper so she didn’t wake up Olivia.

“Hannah...Sit down…” Andy spoke gently. 

“Andy…”

“Annie…” JC gestured toward a chair as she stared at him like he had lost his mind. “Please…”

Hannah looked between both of them as she sat. “What’s going on…?”

JC sighed. “I’m sorry, Annie. We...both are..” he looked quickly to Andy, who nodded in agreement.

“She’s what matters…” Andy looked at Olivia, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Hannah’s breath picked up “Huh?”

“We talked…” JC bit his lip.

Hannah stared blankly at him “You...and...Andy?”

Andy chuckled “Yep.”

Hannah looked out in front of her, then to Olivia, then to both men. “And?”

“And ...We’re all on the same team, Annie...From now on…” JC smiled.

**

JC got up as he heard Hannah walking down the stairs, making his way to her as she walked into the kitchen. He watched her wordlessly reach for a bottle of wine, pouring herself a glass. Her eyes looked up as she saw him.

“You want?” she held up the bottle.

“Um. Sure…” he studied her. 

She grabbed another glass, pouring it and handing it to him as she took a sip of hers. Standing at the kitchen island, she wasn’t saying anything. Her eyes were flat.

“Annie...are you ok?” he spoke softly. 

“I’m fine…” she mumbled, not looking at him. 

JC sighed, resting both hands on the side of the island. “I get it. You’re mad. You have every reason to be. First I...Well I shouldn’t have given Livie something she didn’t know...and then the thing with Andy I-”

“I’M NOT MAD” she huffed above a whisper, setting down her glass to grip the counter. Taking a breath, she continued. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not mad at anyone. I can’t be mad right now…”

“Hannah…”

“Jace…” she shook her head “I didn’t know. She’s my daughter. I know everything about her...and I didn’t know this.”  She took another swig of wine. 

JC’s brow furrowed as his concern grew “Hannah...no one did. She’d never had raspberries before. How could you have known?”

‘I’m SUPPOSED to know. Moms are SUPPOSED to know. And I wasn’t there. I wasn’t even there when she-” she paused, almost choking on the sinking feeling that had risen from her stomach into her throat.

“Annie…” He moved to her side to wrap his arms around her “You. Are an AMAZING mother. She’s happy...She’s healthy...She’s well-behaved.”

“She could have died…” she whispered.

‘She didn’t…”

“Thanks to you…” she looked at him, her eyes glassy.

JC looked down “Hannah...I’m the one who almost killed her…”

She shook her head “No...You didn’t know. No one would expect you to know…” 

Hannah was shivering lightly now. “If I lost her, I…” she shook her head, the thought of it breaking her. 

“You’re not going to…” JC looked into her eyes as he grabbed her shoulders gently. “Hey…” he lifted her face to look at his “You’re not gonna lose her…”

Hannah let the tears fall as JC kissed her softly, quickly...a reassurance.

“Mmm...Jace its just..” she pushed him away gently. “Everything is changing. It’s all different. Olivia has an allergy now...Andy is...Maybe going to actually be in her life...You two get along?” 

She ran a hand through her hair nervously. “I took my foot off the wheel. SHE’S been my focus for 4 years. I mean my career is autopilot compared to her...I let my guard down and this happens…”

She had started to pace, and JC was worried.

“Annie...She’s still your focus. That never changed. It’s never going to…”

“I mean we’re getting married, Jace...MARRIED. I wrote you out of my life. I’m a mom. That’s what I thought. That’s what I knew. I made my peace. Then I looked up and...there you were again…”

“Annie I didn’t mean to...I wasn’t trying to confuse you…”

She sighed. “You ...didn’t confuse me. I just...It’s overwhelming. I never even knew IF I wanted kids or not and then there she was and now...Now she’s the center of my universe, and I flaked. I left her to go argue with her father.”

“It wasn’t arguing, Annie…”

“And now...You wanna marry me? I mean all these years later. You couldn’t ask then and you’re sure now? AFTER my life became something totally different?”

“Hannah. You should sit down…” his eyes were wide, noticing how pale she had gotten.

She sighed, flopping onto the couch. “I’m just so tired…” 

Her amber eyes were on him now, barely focused. 

He moved to sit next to her, pulling her into his chest. “I know…”

“I have to be so strong all the time. For her. For my career...For you…”

He pulled back a little to look at her “Annie...You don’t have to be anything but yourself for me…”

She closed her eyes, pressing herself against him as she pulled her feet up onto the couch.

“Jace…” she looked up at him before collapsing into a heap. 

Pulling her into him tightly, he kissed her hair as she let herself go. It was a cocktail of relief, fear, nerves, and the unmatched love of a mother for her child. They were the tears of a woman who had handled so much to find herself living in the middle of her dreams. It was a release she had needed for years, and one she had known deep down she wanted him there for.

JC took a breath as he held her. It had been one of the longest days of his life. He was exhausted, but nothing could keep him from being her rock in this moment. Having her in his life complicated things- in the best possible way. A small smile found him as he considered everything they had been through; everything he had signed up for when he walked back into her life. He had always been so in control of his own life: a perfectionist. Accepting the unpredictability of Hannah’s life, and having a child around, was a huge learning curve. It was daunting. It was overwhelming. It was...everything he never knew he wanted.