Chapter 16

The next morning, Nicki woke up and Justin was already awake. She got out of bed, checked the mirror to fix her hair, and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. 

“Good morning, sunshine. If it’s more comfortable, you can grab one of my shirts to wear for breakfast.  I’m enjoying what you’ve got on, but it’s up to you,” he smiled. He had on a pair of grey sweatpants. 

She walked back down the hall, and found a shirt from his closet, a black Beatles t-shirt. She slowly walked back down the hallway towards the kitchen. Justin smiled as he saw her out of the corner of his eye. 

“You cooked dinner last night, now you’re making breakfast?” Nicki said.

“It’s just french toast, don’t get too impressed. Although I’ve heard I do a killer syrup swirl,” he laughed. “There’s some that’s ready if you’re hungry.”

Nicki took the plate off the kitchen counter. There was butter, syrup, and powdered sugar on the table, along with glasses of orange juice. She put syrup and powdered sugar on her breakfast, then hesitated. 

“You don’t have to wait for me,” Justin said as if reading her thoughts. “Mine is almost done, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Nicki took a bite of french toast. It was sweet, but not overly so, even with the syrup and powdered sugar. “What am I…”

“Tasting?  I put a little vanilla and nutmeg in.”

“Ok, you can stop reading my mind any time…” she laughed. 

“Like I said, I know you.”

“Let me guess, I’ve had your french toast before and asked that exact question?”

“Yup.”

“Is that why you made it, you know I like it?”

“Yup.”

“Well, thank you, it’s delicious.”

“It’s not much, I do what I can,” he shrugged. He sat down with his plate of food and started eating. “So I’ll take you home in a bit so we both can get ready for the party. No need to get super dressed up, something like what you wore for our first date will do, jeans and a nice top.  You’ll look great without sticking out.”

“Heather’s coming too, right?”

He nodded. “JC will be here too. There will be other people that know you from before, but I’ll help reintroduce you.  If you start to get overwhelmed, bring up bananas. I’ll try to keep Heather within line of sight if I can, otherwise I’ll help you find her. If that’s not enough, feel free to go into my bedroom to get some distance or whatever you need. Not sure how many people are gonna be here but they might be spread throughout the house, so my bedroom will be the best place if you need to be alone.”

“You’re so thoughtful, worrying about ME before YOUR birthday party,” she blushed. 

“You’re important to me. I know this can be overwhelming, especially given what you’ve gone through.”  They continued eating in relative silence. He ran his foot up her leg from her ankle to her knee, smiling at her. 

She got changed back into her dress and was ready to go home. I’ll wait a while to tell her she has her own dresser and clothes here, Justin thought. No need to put too much on her at once.

He drove her home, giving her a long kiss goodbye. “I’ll see you tonight.” He grabbed some food for later and headed home. He got in a quick workout, took a shower, and ate before the busyness of the night started. He went into his studio to clear his head for a bit, not working on anything in particular. He saw what day it was, realizing it was Joey’s birthday, giving him a quick text and that he would call and talk on Sunday.

He had asked Heather, Nicki, and JC to be there earlier than everyone else just to help ease Nicki into the party rather than showing up to a house full of people. They were his core, the people he felt most comfortable around.  That’s why he’d called them when Nicki had the accident.  No one else was as close to both of them as JC and Heather, the others that would be there were more of Justin’s friends, other celebrities he’d worked with in music or acting.  

They sat in his living room, Nicki on a couch next to Justin, Heather and JC in deep armchairs.  “So Nicki, I need to warn you.  Ok, maybe warn isn’t the right word,” Justin said.  “Prepare might be the more appropriate word.  There’s going to be mostly celebrities here, it’s ok to get star struck, but they have met you before.  I’ll try to have one of us by your side at all times to help field any discussions where you might not remember things, I haven’t explained the situation to a lot of people, basically just the four of us are fully aware.”

He looked now to Heather and JC.  “If Nicki brings up bananas, it means she’s feeling overwhelmed and needs some space from whatever is going on. Move her to a different area, or she can go to my bedroom. I want Nicki to feel safe, included, but looked after. She’s important to all of us,” he said, taking her hand. Heather and JC nodded. 

Guests started trickling in as Nicki and Heather sat talking, helping her feel comfortable. Some of them saw Nicki and waved or smiled, but didn’t approach her. She got food to eat, grabbed a drink, enjoying the quiet and lack of attention. 

Justin had been walking around the house, greeting guests, having a good time. He caught Nicki’s eye and walked over to her. “You ready to meet some people? I’ll try to keep things light.”  Nicki nodded, took his hand, and followed him around the party. 

“Nicki, this is Timbaland, he’s a producer on some of my songs. Tim, you remember Nicki.”  The two nodded at each other, exchanging pleasantries before moving on. He did this a few more times with various people- his manager Johnny, musicians he’d collaborated with. 

Justin was soon surrounded by friends, Nicki at his side holding his hand. One of the women near her asked what her favorite song of Justin’s was. 

“Uh, well, gee, they’re all great,” she fumbled. 

“Aren’t they though? He must sing to you all the time…”

“No, he doesn’t…” Jenn sighed, not sure if she should feel disappointed. Justin was deep in conversation and laughing with his friends. He let go of her hand to clap as he laughed at a joke. She took advantage of this to slip away, heading for Justin’s bedroom. 

He had been right, no one was in there. She sat on the edge of the bed, lost in her thoughts. Why DOESN'T he sing to me, or play something for me? He has just introduced me as Nicki, not as his girlfriend.  I know we haven’t talked about what exactly is going on between us. We’re young, he’s hot, great sex, so I can’t complain. He’s been so great, very understanding, maybe I’m blowing this up in my head. 

She sat for a while, unsure if she was ready to go back out. It had been about 25 minutes since she left, and no one had tried to find her, not even Heather.  Guess I’ll see how long it takes, since I’m stuck here. 

…

Heather was walking around the party, familiar faces but no one she could really talk to. She saw Justin and JC next to each other  in a big group of people, and walked towards them. She noticed Nicki wasn’t with them. She walked up to the guys, grabbed their arms and whispered “if Nicki’s not with you or me, where is she?”

Justin’s eyes widened at Heather’s words. Fuck, I blew it. “I thought she was with you,” he said. 

They excused themselves and Justin opened the door to his room. He sighed heavily in relief, but his heart broke seeing her sitting on his head, her expression like stone. All three of them entered the room. 

“How long have you been in here, Nicki?” Heather asked. 

“Based on the clock, an hour…” Nicki said, her face still, her voice angry.

Justin’s face sunk.  “Nicki, I’m sorry.”

“I get it.  It’s your birthday party, they’re your guests.  That’s why you had me over yesterday.  I came here for a reason, but didn’t know if I was even missed out there.  By any of you.”

“Nicki…” Heather sighed.

“I was feeling overwhelmed, people were asking me questions, started saying things that I had no memory of, or things that HAD happened before, possibly, but aren’t happening now.  It was a lot.  It was hard to feel like I fit in.  Go on back, your friends are all probably wondering about you…”

“I’m worried about YOU right now, Nicki,” Justin said, crouching down to look her in the eye.  “I wanted you here because you are important to me.  Do you want everyone to sing to me, have dessert, then go home? What do YOU want for tonight?”

“That sounds fine.  Heather, I hate to keep you from people.”

“I’m fine with whatever.  I don’t know most of these people any more than you did, I’m here for you and for Justin.  If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do.  I’m sorry for not noticing, I thought you were with Justin since no one had told me otherwise.”

“It’s fine, I’m not worth the trouble,” Nicki sighed.

“Hey,” Justin said, looking her square in the eyes, holding her hands.  “You are ALWAYS worth the effort, time, money, trouble.  If you want I’d send everyone home right now.”

“Don’t do that.  Let’s do cake and go home, Heather.”

“I’m just a phone call or text away.  Can I see you on my actual birthday instead of movie night this week?  Just the two of us?” Justin asked.  Nicki smiled and nodded.

“I’d like that, yes.”

“Are you mad?” Justin asked sincerely.

“Not anymore.  I was in my head a bit at first, letting what people said kinda get to me.  Not that it was mean in any way, but things that I’m sure old me would have understood and been able to just go with, that I can’t the way things are now.”

“You two go ahead, I wanna clear this up with her,” Justin said to Heather and JC.  They nodded and left, closing the door behind them. “What were people saying?”

“Someone asked me what my favorite song of yours was, and I had no answer.  I just was kinda like ‘uh, all of them I guess’.  Then they said you must sing to me all the time.  In all this time, I haven’t heard you sing once, I have no idea what anyone is talking about.”

“Well, I admit I’ve been keeping that from you, yeah.  I just like where things are, where it looks like they’re heading, and I didn't want that side of things getting in the way of anything REAL.  I have so many people coming up to me because of my music and whatnot, but it’s all superficial.  What we have, right here, is real, and I don’t want to lose that.  I know it’s a huge piece of me, but I’ve been wanting you to like me for me, not because of my name, music, whatever.  Does that make sense?”

“I guess, but didn’t I like you beforehand knowing all of that? Why would it be any different now?”

Justin sighed.  “I don’t know.  It was just nice not to be THAT part of me for a while, be a part of me I don’t get to be very often.  You’ve seen both sides, but I didn’t want it to overwhelm you with everything you have going on.  I hate keeping things from you, but I’m wanting to make sure you stay in my life, that I don’t put too much on you at once to process.”

“So you’re more than just a studio musician or backup singer.  I mean, based on this house, your car, I should have known you weren’t exactly a starving artist musician by any means.  Just how big a name are we talking here?”

“Pretty big.  I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you.  Just let me know if it gets to be too much.” Nicki nodded.  “There’s a big reason why I haven’t been singing around you lately.  You’ve been listening to all my music.  The songs on our first date?  That was me, or at least some of it.”

“Wait, what are you trying to tell me?”

“I think it’d be better if I showed you.  Come with me.”  He took her hand and led her out of his bedroom and into his studio.  He showed her his wall, with awards, and pictures.  “You see this picture right here? We had just found out our album set the world record for most albums sold in one day, and in one week.”

Nicki looked at the album artwork with the RIAA certification for No Strings Attached.  “You’re part of *NSYNC? And JC?”

“Yeah.  Then in 2003 I did a solo album, and a world tour.  The label is pressing me for a second solo album, I’ve got some stuff recorded, but nowhere near ready, I finished my tour just a few months ago.”

“How do I fit into all this?” Nicki asked.

“Right now, you’re priority number one.  I’ll record as I can, for myself or with other people, but my goal is to stay here for a while.  I’ve been enjoying all of this, spending time with you I didn't really get to before.  You’re important to me, and I want you to feel that.  I’m sorry tonight didn't do a very good job of that.”

“Thank you for telling me all this.  For taking time out of the party to be honest with me.  I needed that.  Thank you.”

“You ready to go back out there?  They probably expect us to kiss after I blow out candles, is that ok?”

“I think I can handle that,” she laughed.

They walked down the hall, and once Heather had Justin in her line of sight, they started lighting candles.  They started singing to Justin, who had a big smile on his face.  He paused for a moment, before blowing out the candles.  I wish Nicki gets her memory back and we’re together forever.  Nicki stood next to him, and he kissed her deeply in front of his guests, to loud cheers and applause for the birthday boy.  Not long after, Nicki pulled Justin aside to the front door.  

“Good night.  Sorry about everything…” Nicki said.

“You owe NO ONE an apology.  I tried to anticipate it being overwhelming for you, but I let you down in the end.  Hopefully I can make it up to you on Tuesday.”

“Uh uh.  It’s your birthday, now it’s my turn to spoil you.  I’m gonna do my best, just you wait and see.  What time should I be here?”

“Oh, uh, around 6?” Justin replied.

“See you then.  I’ll talk to you soon.  Enjoy the rest of the party, please don’t worry about me.  I’m good, we’re good.”  She kissed his cheek before leaving.  Justin sighed at the closed door.  

I’m glad she thinks we’re good, but I’m definitely gonna still worry about her tonight.