Chapter 22
Heather got up off the couch, grabbing her clothes to get dressed. “This was a mistake. What we just did.”
“What’s so wrong about it? You’ve had feelings for me, I’m drunk, so consider this your trophy bang. That’s all I’m good for.”
Heather sighed. “Things are gonna be more awkward now, knowing I had you for part of a night and don’t get the benefit of a relationship. It’d be awkward for JC if we got together, awkward for me and Nicki, it should’ve never happened.”
“Can I stay here on the couch for the night?” Justin asked.
“You’re in no shape to drive, neither am I. Get dressed before Nicki gets home…”
“IF she comes home. It’s late, she’s probably staying the night at his place…” Justin huffed. He got up and got dressed. Heather brought out a pillow and blanket for him before going to her room.
Justin was startled when Nicki opened the front door. He sat straight up on the couch, hiding the blanket and pillow as best he could.
“What are you doing here?” Nicki asked angrily.
“I wanted to talk,” Justin said. It’s not a lie, just not the whole truth, he thought.
“So you waited around here for me? Not sure whether to be upset or think it’s cute…”
“I’d prefer the cute option. Come sit,” he said, gesturing to the other end of the couch.
Nicki sat. “What is there to talk about? You seem to think I’m yours.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, but I thought we were more than just casually dating, with all the time we’ve spent together and talking to each other.”
“At your party you didn’t introduce me as your girlfriend, just as Nicki. Even then you mostly said ‘and you know Nicki’. What else was I supposed to think?”
“They knew you from before, and what you were to me.”
“Which is what, exactly?”
“Tell her,” Heather interrupted. “She deserves to know more now.”
“Thank you,” Nicki said, looking back at Justin waiting for a response.
“You were my girlfriend,” Justin said.
“Did you make it official the night of the accident?” Nicki asked.
“Something like that, yeah.” Heather shot Justin a look that he needed to tell her more.
“We never talked about where things stood with us. How was I to know you thought we were together now?”
“I figured us sleeping together was us being more than just casual, especially on the first date…”
“You’d been so great since this all started, the date was perfect, that kiss, it seemed a perfect ending to the night,” Nicki said.
“So you don’t want to be my girlfriend?” Justin asked.
“I didn’t say that. There’s a connection I can’t deny between us. I didn’t know how you felt about things…”
“You think I’ve been doing all this NOT wanting to be with you, just wanting sex? You’re home awful late, did you have sex with Parker?”
“Not that it’s ANY of your business, but no. I won’t say he didn’t try. I barely know him beyond work.”
“So our first time meant something for you, too. You easily could have not done that that night, I would’ve been ok with that. Did I want to? Absolutely. Would I have been ok if you weren’t ready? Absolutely, because I care about you.”
“I need time to figure this out, Justin. Yes, I want to be with you, but now there’s the startings of feelings for Parker. He’s around more than I can say you would be. I can’t expect you to hang around here forever, and I don’t know if I could handle being in the spotlight being your girlfriend. I’m sure you did something to win me over and prove it, but I can’t wrap my head around it right now. I know how I feel about you, but I need to figure out how I feel about Parker.”
“If you know how you feel about me, why is Parker even a factor in this? If you want to be with me, BE WITH ME. What else do you need to know?”
“I need to figure out what’s going to be best for me. I could see myself with you, but there would be stretches where I wouldn’t see you, out on tour and such. Parker is here, established, we work together. I can rely on that in the long term. I deserve to be happy in the long term, not just right now.”
“I can’t do this,” Justin said, standing up from the couch. “I can’t watch you do this, it just hurts too much.” He walked out the door. Heather ran after him.
“Justin, you’re in no shape to drive…”
“I’ll call JC to pick me up. I can’t watch her say she might be in love with me and still even CONSIDER being with someone else.”
Heather walked back into the house, sitting down on the couch where Justin had. She could still feel the warmth from him sitting there, remembering what they had done on that very couch not long before she Nicki came home.
“Who makes you happier right now, all of this aside?” Heather asked.
“If I’m being honest, Justin. He’s shared so much with me, without expecting much in return. Parker just wanted in my pants.”
“Yeah, that’s what I tried to warn you about… You’re really gonna go out with him again?”
“Yeah. I had already told him I would, and then told him it’s his last shot. If he messes up, that’s it.”
“I’m gonna have to go with Justin on this. Why give Parker another chance, especially if you know you like him?”
“How is it gonna work when he’s working on a new album, or out on tour? I can’t imagine not seeing him for months at a time.”
“You made things work before.”
“How?”
“He’d fly you out if he had a show on your weekend, or he’d fly here if he had a couple days off. One time he flew here just to see you for 6 hours, then flew back to do a show.”
“I can’t ask him to do that just for me, I’d get in the way of his career.”
“He did it because he WANTED to, Nicki. You are his whole world outside of music. I feel like he’s shown you that these last few weeks. He wouldn’t do all this for just anyone. If you were just a friend, he’d still be around, but he’s trying so hard to win your heart. We all thought you were back together on some level.”
“I do want to be with him…”
“Then be with him Nicki!”
“I had a moment with Parker at work on Friday, and the more I spent time with him, the more I liked him, until he tried to sleep with me.”
“So why give him another chance?” Heather asked.
“Because I can’t ask Justin to keep making those sacrifices for me. He deserves someone that can travel if they want, I can’t imagine doing all that travel to see him, or having him travel so much to see me. I don’t want him to feel like I’m a burden at some point. I need to go to bed. We’re talking in circles here. I’ve made up my mind, I have a second date with Parker next weekend.”
“So where does that leave you and Justin? What’s he supposed to do while you figure this out?”
“I...I don’t know. I guess I understand if he’s upset, I’d still like to talk to him. Did I just lose one of my closest friends?”
“It’s very possible Nicki. You lost Justin, too…”
“Heather, wait, what does THAT mean?”
“If things work out with Parker, I want you out of here ASAP. This ISN’T you, he’s got you under some spell that he’s a decent guy. It’s all an act just to sleep with you. He’s tried it before, with you, me.”
“You’re not giving him a fair shot!”
“He was hitting on you knowing full well how you felt about Justin, then and now. He’s scum Nicki.”
“I’ll give you that tonight didn’t end well, but he knows to behave and that I mean it. I’m giving him one more chance, please trust me.”
“He doesn’t love you. Not like Justin does. If you choose Parker, it’s over. I can’t watch you ruin a man that loves you so much that he’d do everything he’s done for you, then and now. The deck is stacked in Justin’s favor and you don’t even care!”
“Oh my God it’s like YOU’RE in love with him!” Nicki yelled.
Heather got silent very quickly. She knew she had to choose her words carefully after what she and Justin had done, what she’d confessed to him.
“I want what’s best for both of you, and that’s you two together. I’ve known both of you a long time, and you two were happiest once you met and were in each other’s lives. Don’t do something you might regret and lose him. If Parker hasn’t changed, you’ll hate yourself for letting him get what he wants, and you’ll have lost Justin. Is it really worth it?”
Nicki sighed. “I still want to talk to him, see him…”
“THEN BE WITH HIM!! Forget Parker and choose Justin!”
“Why is everyone pushing so hard?!” Nicki demanded. “You’re pushing so damn hard but won’t tell me why?!?!”
“You’re his girlfriend, he loves you, you think you love him back, what more do you need to know?”
“I feel like there’s something you guys aren’t telling me, holding back memories from me. You all said you want me to be with Justin because I want to. You’re pushing it like I should do it because YOU want me to. Give me a week to figure this out. If I feel nothing for Parker, or he shows his true colors like he tried earlier, it’s over. I like Justin, I really do, but I need to see what happens with Parker.”
Heather sighed. “You’re right… you need to see what happens. I hope I’m wrong, for your sake. We are keeping things from you, because if you knew, you’d feel you HAVE to choose a certain way. We want you happy, and if you choose because you feel you have to, you won’t be happy if something else comes along. So yes, you need to see what happens to choose for yourself. I’m sorry.”
“I know you want me to choose Justin, I WANT to choose him, but I need to explore this, too. I hope you can all be understanding. I’m not meaning to hurt him, not intentionally. It’s complicated, especially not knowing everything to help me choose.”
“We promised not to tell you certain things, I’m sorry. I’ll see if there’s anything I can share with you to not give too much away based on what you already know.”
“Until then, let me do this. If I’m meant to be with Justin, it’ll happen somehow.”
Nicki walked into her bedroom and closed the door. Heather opened the front door to check on Justin. He was sitting on the front steps.
“Waiting for JC or to sober up and drive?” Heather asked.
“Either. What am I supposed to do?” he cried, his face buried in his arms. “I’m gonna lose her, to HIM.”
“No, you’re not. Not if I can help it. I may not be able to be with who I want, but I’m gonna do whatever I can to help her back to you.”
“Heather…”
“I mean it. I’m already thinking of things to do this week to keep you in her head. She said she wants to choose you, she just needs to figure this out. Don’t lose hope yet.”
JC pulled up to the house. “Dude, do you know wgat time it is?! You’re lucky I picked up man…”
“Did you even tell him what happened?” Heather asked.
“No, what?” JC replied.
Heather tells JC about Nicki going out with Parker, needing to see where things go and who she wants to be with.
“Dude, sorry for giving you shit just now. Man. It’s not over though, give her some time.”
“I waited two years to propose, I’ve waited another 3 weeks for her, I’ll wait as long as I have to. I just hope it doesn’t break my heart. I can’t take that again.”
