Chapter 23
Justin was surprised that he got any sleep. He didn’t remember dreaming, he slept so soundly. He was so mentally and emotionally drained from the night before that his body craved sleep. Nicki couldn’t sleep, wound so tight on the significance of her choice she had to make. When she did sleep, she was confronted with both of them, being forced to choose, and not knowing what to do. She woke up in a sweat and couldn’t get back to sleep without worrying about the dream haunting her as much as it did when she was awake. She couldn’t escape this choice no matter what she did.
She grabbed her phone and sent a text. Can I call you?
He sighed before responding, thinking carefully about his response. I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I want to give you space, and distance myself so it doesn’t hurt so much.
Can we at least text? Ugh, why does this have to be so complicated?
It doesn’t, but I’m trying to respect your wishes.
If it helps, I wish you were here with me, holding me. I miss that.
I do too, but you also want to be with someone else? How am I supposed to be ok with that? Knowing if you’re not with me, you’re out with HIM.
I’m sorry, Justin. I know you had certain assumptions about us based on how things were before. I don’t have all that knowledge, so I’m doing the best I can until I either get my memory back, or someone finally tells me what the hell happened.
I wish I could. I want you to genuinely choose me, not because of what me meant to each other before, things I said or did.
Who’s to say that won’t help me figure things out? That it won’t help me get all my memories back and choose you because of everything then AND now?
Because I want you forever. If you choose me out of guilt because of my feelings, you’ll grow to resent me and we’ll break up anyway. At least if it happens now I can start moving on.
Please give me a week, Justin. That’s all I’m asking for. Can I see you?
No. We can text, but I can’t handle seeing your face or hearing your voice right now. It just hurts too much that in a week I could lose you.
Or we make more memories together.
I’d want to hold you, kiss you, lots of things that are going to hurt more if you choose Parker. I can’t. We can text, but that’s it.
Nicki put her phone down. I guess I can live with that for a week. I DO miss him, wish there was an easier choice…
Justin looked around his bedroom. Pictures of her seemed to be everywhere, he put his hand on her side of his bed. I can’t even sleep in my own bed without being reminded of her. How am I gonna make it through this week without her?
…
Heather looked in her closet and found all the pictures they’d pulled off of Nicki’s walls. Let’s find some of them together that didn’t already go in the photo album I gave Justin. Showing her how he made time for her while on tour might show she CAN handle being with him with his career.
Nicki sat at the kitchen table, slowly taking bites of her breakfast.
“You ok?” Heather asked.
“No. I have this out in my stomach. I can’t get my mind off of having to choose between Justin and Parker. I couldn’t sleep, they both kept demanding I choose in my dreams.”
“Hopefully being at work tomorrow will give you something else to focus on. Until then, do you want to see photos of you and Justin over the years?”
“I wanna say yes, but it might make this a more difficult choice.”
“First you say you WANT to know things, now you don’t? Which is it? This doesn’t have to be a difficult choice, choose Justin.”
“NOT helping, Heather…”
“Do you want to see pictures or not?”
Nicki sighed. “Fine. Can I blame you if I fall in love with Justin?”
“You can make me the maid of honor at your wedding,” Heather laughed. She pulled out a couple pictures of Nicki and Justin at the beach. “You liked to go here a LOT, no matter what season. One time you went in the pouring rain by yourself for a run. Just you with the ocean beside you. Justin came by wanting to see you, I told him where you went. He brought you a big container of coffee, and you sat in his car listening to the rain when it got too cold to stay on the beach.”
“That sounds really nice, actually. Maybe I’ll go there today.”
“I’ll take you. Unless…”
“Unless what?”
“What would you say to one final date with Justin, if he agrees to it?”
“I do miss him… if he’s ok with it, so am I. I honestly think I might choose him, but I need to give Parker another shot at the very least.”
“Let me talk to him,” Heather said.
Heather walked into her room and called Justin.
“Calling to check in on me?” he asked.
“Kinda. I had an idea after talking with her. What if you had a date with her? She wants to go to her beach. What if you take her, just sit and hold her, you don’t even have to talk, just let her think at her thinking spot. See what happens from there. She told me she thinks she’s going to choose you, might as well give her more reason to.”
“I dunno…”
“You’ll probably get to kiss her. Isn’t it better if things end on a kiss? Or if things continue, to not have the fight hanging over you.”
“I guess. Does she know it would be a date?”
“She does. She said she misses you and that if you’re ok with it, so is she.”
Justin sighed. “Lemme grab a few things and I’ll be right over…”
“I’ll help her get ready…” Heather said.
Heather walked back into the kitchen. “Come on,” she said, “you’ve got a date to get ready for!”
