March 2009

"Teddi you are a guest; you really don't have to help me." Karen Chasez said, as she dried her hands off with a dish towel.

"No, I insist. Besides, I love to cook!" Teddi stood at the kitchen counter of the Chasez home and carefully and methodically peeled potatoes, setting each potato to her right, and the peels to her left.

"You hear that Josh?" Karen asked her son. JC was seated at the island, digging into a bag of kettle chips while watching the women cook. "She loves to cook! So why are you still single?" Karen teased.

JC smirked as he eyed Teddi; she was blushing and fighting off a smile. "Mom, c'mon!" He pleaded.

"I'm just saying," Karen stated. She turned her attention to the stove, where she was boiling pasta for lasagna.

Though it was good natured ribbing, JC new there was some truth to what his mother was saying. Still, it didn't make things less awkward for he and Teddi. Nevertheless, he was glad he was able to convince her to accompany him to Orlando.

After wrapping the third season of the MTV hit show America's Best Dance Crew, JC decided to get out of Los Angeles for a while to spend time with his family. He'd managed to convince Teddi to join him as she was stressed and overworked, pouring over every little detail for her next album. JC's parents, Karen and Roy were delighted to welcome Teddi into their home. When JC first introduced Teddi to his parents five years earlier they had completely fallen in love with her. The last five years were filled with questions like: Are you and Teddi dating and When are you gonna ask her to be your girlfriend? The Chasezs were not shy about expressing the fact that they wanted Teddi as a daughter-in-law.

"You know, she's only helping you to make me look bad," JC joked.

"Josh!" Karen and Teddi both chided in unison.

"Geeze, it's like you two are the same person!" JC mused. He stared at the sight before him, amused. Teddi fit in perfectly with his family. It took no effort. She just fit. It was natural.

"You don't need help to look bad, you can do that all by yourself!"

JC heard the voice of his sister Heather behind him as she entered the kitchen from the living room.

"Ugh, shut up," JC muttered.

Heather swatted JC on the shoulder and snatched the bag of chips from him. "Give me some."

"Hey!" JC whine. "God, you're so annoying."

"And they turn into teenagers all over again," Karen stated, as she stirred a homemade pasta sauce in a pot on the stove.

Teddi laughed. "I can't imagine what it must have been like when they were all going through puberty." She was now cutting the potatoes into circles and layering them in a baking dish.

"Oh, they drove us crazy! JC, Heather, and Tyler are all two years apart, so it was one after another. Constant bickering, mood swings and a lot of broken furniture."

"Mom, we're right here," JC reminded Karen.

"I have eyes," Karen countered.

Teddi snickered at their banter as she poured the bechamel mixture over the potatoes. After topping the potatoes with salt, pepper, and grated gruyere she set the baking dish in the pre-heated oven. "All done, Mrs. Cha-"

Karen gave Teddi a knowing stare.

"Karen."

Karen smiled. "Thank you Teddi, at least someone's being helpful."

"Dad's not helping," Heather pointed out.

"I raised you brats!" Roy yelled from the living room, where he was laid back in his recliner with a Budweiser watching a college basketball game.

"And neither is Tyler," JC added.

"Hey, leave me out of this," Tyler called from the living room.

"He's the baby," Karen said.

"Pfftt, he's a grown man!" Heather scoffed.

"No wonder why he's so spoiled," JC stated in solidarity with Heather. He stood up and walked over to the oven where Teddi was standing. He reached for Teddi's hand, "c'mon, there's something I want to show you."

"Yes please, go," Karen said, shooing her son. She playfully whipped his shoulder with a dish towel.

JC held Teddi's hand and led her up the back stairs.

"Where are you taking me?" Teddi asked curious.

"My old room," JC replied. After reaching the stop of the staircase. JC led the way down the hall. JC stopped at the last door on the left.

"JC Chasez's bedroom," Teddi grinned. "You know you're making my twelve-year-old dreams right now?"

JC rolled his eyes.

"This could potentially be dangerous," Teddi joked.

"Whatever," JC replied, brushing her off. "C'mon." He opened the door and as he crossed the threshold, he was instantly transported back to 1994. His room left untouched in the last fifteen years since he'd lived at home was like a time capsule.

Teddi entering behind JC, looked around the room. She observed the Lenny Kravitz and Sting posters on his wall, the red and black bedding, the old windows computer that sat atop a desk in the far corner of the room. A few feet from the edge of the bed, an old Magnavox television set was propped on a TV stand with an old Nintendo gaming console and VCR underneath. Teddi could envision a teenaged JC chilling in his room on a weeknight.

"Pretty clean for a teenage boy," Teddi noted. She plopped down on the bed and watched as JC fumbled around in the closet.

"Yeah, well every now and then Mom will come in tidy things up," JC explained. He retrieved a box from the top shelf and turned towards Teddi.

"Whatcha got?" Teddi asked.

"Home movies." JC sat down next to Teddi and placed the box on the floor in front of him.

"Oh my gosh, I wanna see!"

JC shuffled through the rows of black VHS tapes which were are all labeled, trying to decided which one to show Teddi first. He stopped on a tape labeled, MMC ‘94. He picked up the VHS tape out of the box and stood up to turn on the TV. He plugged the VCR chord into the outlet on the wall, pressed the power button, and slid the tape into the VCR player. JC sat back on the edge of the bed, next to Teddy and waited for the tape to play.

Horizontal lines danced on the TV screen before a scene came into focus.

"Hey JC, tell the people where we are!" An off-camera voice said.

JC's face filled the screen. The camera zoomed out to capture the surrounding.

"We are backstage on the set of the MMC!" JC whisper-shouted; his arms spread as he made a slow three-sixty turn.

Teddi watched the screen, and JC watched Teddi, taking in her every reaction.

"Let's take ‘em on tour," the voice said.

"Well first, you know we have to stop by craft services," JC said, stopping at a long rectangular table, clothed in a black tablecloth, and topped with an assortment of food.  "Let's see, we have bacon, pancakes, doughnuts, and then we have all the fruit over here, ‘cause ya'know we gotta keep it healthy and look good for the ladies!" JC picked up a red grade and popped it into his mouth.

"Yeah, that's right ladies!" The voice behind the camera chuckled.

The focus shifted, and cameraman turned the camera on himself. It was none other than Dale Godboldo. Teddi laughed as Dale flexed his bicep for the camera.

"God, I used to have the biggest crush on him!"

"Hey," JC whined. "What about me?"

"Aww is your ego, bruised?" Teddi teased. She grabbed JC's face between her hands and playfully squeezed. "Poor baby! You weren't the only heartthrob on the show!"

JC and Teddi continued to watch the tape. When one ended, he'd put in another. Over the course of two hours, they watched endless behind the scenes footage of JC on the set of the MMC, JC and his castmates at Disney World, the MMC cast on tour, and many other memorable moments of JC's adolescent years.

"I really enjoyed this," Teddi said to JC. They had moved to the floor, sitting with their backs propped against the bed. A tape had just ended, and they were staring at a blank screen.

JC turned his head slightly and stared at Teddi. He loved being able to share some of the memories that meant the most to him with her.

Teddi looked back at him. "JC, why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm really glad you decided to come home with me Teddi," JC said, his eyes locked on hers.

"I'm really glad you asked."

Silence filled the room, and they continued to stare into each other's eyes. The longer JC stared, the more his resolve slipped. His head spun and his heart raced. Freefalling, floating in an abyss and losing control.

JC leaned in closer to Teddi, their faces just centimeters apart, their lips so close. He hesitated. "Teddi?"

"Yes," Teddi whispered.

"There's something I want to show you."

Teddi let out a deep, low breath. "Okay."

JC stood up and walked back over to his closet. Teddi watched as JC rummaged the top shelf again. This time he had what looked to be a leather-bound scrapbook in hand. He joined Teddi on the floor. "Pictures," he explained, flipping the scrapbook open. Teddi smiled.

"This is when I won my first dance competition," JC said pointing to a picture. JC looked to be around ten or eleven, and he was surrounded by five other kids his age. They were all dressed in matching neon green T-shirts and silk gold and black typewriter pants.

"You mean when you danced to MC Hammer?" Teddi asked.

JC chuckled. "Yep!" JC flipped the page and explained what was happening in the next picture. He was on the beach in a white tank top and blue swim trunks. "Summers at Myrtle Beach."

Teddi intently paid attention as JC took her through his childhood in pictures. JC's birthdays, Chasez Christmases and family vacations. All intimate moments that JC looked back on fondly. Next, JC flipped to a picture of himself around age 17, standing with an older woman. His arms were wrapped around her, and they both smiled at the camera. JC, tall and lanky towered over her. She had rich, dark curls, and the same eye shape and color as JC.

"JC is that-"

"Yeah," JC interjected. "That's her."

"Wow," Teddi breathed, taking in the gravity of the photo. He looked so much like her; it was uncanny. Teddi propped her chin on JC's shoulder and continued to stare at the picture, savoring it. Appreciating that JC trusted her enough to share something so personal with her. "She's beautiful. Like you."

JC smiled, and just as he was about to respond to Teddi's comment, they were interrupted.

"Joshua!" Karen called from downstairs. "I need your help!"

"I'll be right back," JC said. Teddi removed her chin from his shoulder, and JC rolled over to stand up. "No snooping," He winked before leaving the room.

Teddi snickered and rolled her eyes. Hearing JC's footsteps pad down the hall, Teddi picked the scrapbook back up and flipped back to the page. She rubbed her fingers over the picture and studied it. Such a simple picture that said so much.

August 08, 2009

"You really did not have to do this, Ted."

"Of course, I did. It's you're birthday JC."

"I can't thank you enough!" JC said graciously. He leaned back against the sectional  and looked up into the night sky. Teddi scooted closer and laid her head on JC's chest. The sounds of crickets and birds chirping enraptured them. The stars twinkled under the California sky, and the moon peaked out from behind the clouds. Miles Davis played quietly over the sound system, and the aroma of the grill wafted through the summer air. It was a perfect night with his best friend by his side; JC couldn't think of a better way to spend his thirty-third birthday.

JC hadn't wanted to make a fuss over his birthday and didn't have anything planned. Much to his surprise, Teddi did. She took it upon herself to host a small get together for him at her home in Calabasas. It was a small kickback with a few close friends: Autumn and her boyfriend Matt, Dallas Austin, Matthew Morrison, Chace Crawford, and Ron and Stefanie Fair to name a few. It was a small crowd of about twenty people. Teddi hired a personal chef for the night to whip up all of JC's favorites. The dinner party had moved to the backyard where they danced, drank, laughed, and enjoyed each other's company. The last of the guests had left about an hour prior, and JC and Teddi decided to stay on the patio and enjoy the beauty of the night.

"You don't have to thank me JC. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't have anything planned for your birthday?"

"You really went all out," JC replied.

"Please," Teddi sighed. "This was not all out. Not even close!"

"We clearly have two very contrasting definitions of extravagance then!" JC laughed. "Either way thank you. It means a lot," he said earnestly.

"I still haven't given you your gift yet," Teddi said.

"Gift?!" JC exclaimed.

"Yes, a birthday gift, duh!"

"Teddi, you threw me a damn party. That in itself is a gift."

"But I want to give you something tangible, something you can keep," Teddi replied.

"I'll have these memories forever," JC said sweetly.

Teddi lifted her head from JC's chest. "C'mon, follow me."

"Seriously?"

"Up!" Teddi demanded, and JC did as he was told. He followed her into the house. She led him into the living room and instructed him to sit on the couch. "Wait here."

JC watched as Teddi headed in the direction of her office, her flip flops smacking against the tile flooring and echoing throughout the house, her purple maxi dress swishing at her feet.

"Close your eyes," Teddi called.

"What?"

"Josh, just do it!"

"Fine, my eyes are closed." With his back against the sofa and his eyes shut tightly, JC heard Teddi's flip flops and the rustling of paper. As he heard her growing closer, he anxiously wondered what she had up her sleeve.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now."

JC did as he was told. When he opened his eyes, he saw Teddi standing with what looked to be a large rectangular canvas covered in brown wrapping paper. A painting. JC smiled, Teddi knew him well.

"So..." Teddi dragged nervously, holding up the canvas. "Happy Birthday." She picked up the canvas and placed it in JC's lap and sat next to him on the couch.

"What is it?" JC asked curiously. Over the years Teddi had accompanied him to many art galleries and museums. She knew all his favorite artists. Outside of music they had a shared love of art, and they'd often engage in long discussions about everything from Salvador Dalí and the Surrealist movement, to Pop Art and Andy Warhol. JC began to carefully unwrap the painting, peeling away the layers of wrapping paper.

Teddi anxiously wrung her fingers as JC opened his present. Her heart pounding, it felt like it took him an eternity to get all of the paper off the canvas.

JC pulled back the last layer of paper to reveal the painting. The sight before him drew the air from his lungs.

As Teddi watched him, she could feel the blood draining from her face. He hated it. He hated her.

"Teddi- I don't know what to say," JC stuttered.

"Listen, I understand if you're up-"

"This is the most meaningful gift anyone has ever given me," JC whispered. He continued to stare at the painting, his eyes misty. He blinked back tears and swallowed the lump forming in his throat,

"Y-you mean you like it?" Teddi asked nervously.

"Like it? Teddi, there are no words in the English lexicon to describe how much I love it! D-did you paint this?"

"Um, yeah. I did," Teddi replied sheepishly.

"I can't imagine how long this must have taken you." JC marveled at the portrait that was an exact replica of the picture he showed her months ago at his parents' house. "How did you-"

"When you went downstairs, I took a picture on my phone," Teddi explained. "It's just that the picture was a little weathered, and it's such a beautiful moment, and I wanted to preserve it for you, so the only thing I could think of was to paint it."

"Teddi. I don't know what to say." JC looked from the painting to Teddi, and back again. Awestruck, astonished, grateful, touched. No word seemed to quantity the enormous amount of gratitude that was flowing from his heart in that current moment.

"You don't have to say anything, I'm just glad you like it."

"I don't like it. I love it. Teddi, this means everything to me." JC continued to stare at the portrait, both mesmerized and paralyzed. Not only was Teddi able to replicate the photo, but she perfectly captured the emotion. She understood the weight it carried. She understood him. He didn't share this part of himself with everyone. So, for Teddi to be able to take such a precious moment and immortalize in such a beautiful way completely knocked him off his axis. "I can't believe you did this for me."

"I'd do anything for you."

JC turned to face her and stared into her eyes. He was speechless.

"I know it's hard for you to talk about. And you don't ever have to talk about it with me. But just know that you can."

"Thank you," JC whispered. He turned his attention back to the painting, his seventeen-year-old self smiling back at him. Now thanks to Teddi, the picture of him with his birth mother had been given new life.