“Do we talk as we drive, or back at the hotel?” Justin asked.
“I’d say at the hotel, just so you can focus on driving.”
“I love you,” Justin said, a little worried.
“I love you, too. That hasn’t changed. But clearly we need to talk a few things through.”
“Let’s get back to our room.”
“You put our stuff down in the room, but I never got to look around, so this will be interesting.”
“I’ll say this, only the best for me and my woman,” he said with a smile.
They got back to the hotel, the valet parking their car in the parking garage. Deana opened the door to their room, taking it all in. There was a round table with beautifully upholstered chairs. She saw the bed and smiled. “There’s room on the headboard for some scarves or handcuffs…” She turned and looked at the giant bathroom. “There’s TWO showerheads, and a giant tub! Oh babe, there’s a LOT of room for us to get in some serious trouble…”
“One of the perks of being me, we can afford to travel like royalty.”
She sat on the edge of the bed. “Can we talk now?”
He suddenly got nervous again. “Going from talking about amazing bathroom sex to needing to talk. I’m admittedly nervous.”
“I wasn’t sure how to process what you said earlier. I feel like I’ve come a long way since first finding out it was YOU, getting comfortable with your family, Trace and the girls, hell, the rest of *NSYNC… I’m feeling like I’m more confident now than I’ve EVER been, and yet you say I’m not?”
“OK, What makes you feel like you’re confident?”
“How I dress, I tell you what I want in bed, or just take control, I don’t know. Stuff I didn't feel comfortable saying in front of them.”
“I see that, I do. God help me I love it, but it’s in relation to ME. You know I like you in certain things, you wear stuff for me, but not for YOU, because YOU like it. What was the last thing you wore that you felt good in without knowing I would like it?”
“I… maybe the flannel? No, I definitely chose that with you in mind, but not to be sexy…”
“Well, that plan backfired, cuz it’s sexy as fuck. When you talk about yourself, you are tearing yourself down a lot of the time, and it’s so different from the woman I know and love. I see all these amazing things about you, so do your friends, but you don’t see it in yourself. You’re scared people won’t like you whenever you meet new people. Particularly if they are important to me. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. If they don’t like you, that’s on THEM. I LOVE you, and what they think doesn’t matter. Seriously, I was ready to cut Trace out of my life at first. It would’ve hurt, not gonna lie, especially to lose the girls, but if he wasn’t going to support me, I don’t need that at this point in my life.”
“So, I think John and Renee were on to something. I haven’t been this happy since Morgan, but it absolutely feeds into my insecurity. I had lots of friends, people I’d known for years, then getting to know his friends… When it ended, we were civil but awkward having the same circles. He still came to church, I still hung out with his friends. At one point it became too much for him and he messaged ALL of our friends. He basically made them choose between us.”
“Babe, that sucks…”
“I lost so many people that meant so much to me. New friends, people I’d known for YEARS, choosing him over me. Not only did I have my dream of being married and being a mom fall apart, a relationship severed, but I lost what felt like half my friends in the aftermath. It made me wonder if they ever actually liked me, or just put up with me. So that’s where I think that stemmed from. I went from being included in things to no one wanting to hang out with me. It’s been a very dark place for a long time, and you’re definitely helping me come back out of that by having me meet those closest to you, but I’m still very hesitant that they actually LIKE me and are just putting up with me for you.”
“I guess I need to go through my texts so you can see what they say about you. The guys LOVE you. Kids don’t hide anything, so you know those girls love you. If you didn’t mean that much to Danielle, she wouldn’t have you be her maid of honor, just a bridesmaid or something. You have a lot of people that love you for who you are, Deana.”
Tears started to pool in her eyes as Justin pulled out his phone, scrolling through the group chat. She knew they talked about her, but somehow this was more personal. She’d heard Joey and Justin talking in Vegas, the things any of them had told her, texts she’d received checking in to say hi. She couldn’t hold it in, tears streaming down her face, softly sobbing.
“You ok babe? What’s wrong?”
“Happy tears,” she said. “It’s a little overwhelming. You being in love with me was something I never thought would happen, but to be as close to the rest of the guys, included in that tight knit family, genuinely liked, I never even had that as something that could happen. You were a dream I had, I didn’t even know THIS, my life right now, was a possibility.”
He put his phone away, knowing she didn’t need to see to believe what he said. He held her close as she cried and processed everything. “Is it bad I want our party in May to be more of a birthday party for you than a party for the both of us?”
“You deserve to be celebrated, too…”
“Not really,” he replied. “Mine is honorary. You’ve worked your ass off, getting back into school after taking time off to help family, you deserve it more than I do. I have awards and shit to commemorate my hard work. This is another honor, but I haven’t done anything more than what I’ve already done.”
“I maintain what I said before. You’ve worked so hard to be taken seriously, to get where you are. You deserve this.”
“Hold on. I know it’s short notice, but what if your family can take that whole week off. We fly to Arizona for your graduation, then fly to LA. Take your nephews to Disneyland, do your birthday there and JC and Lance can come for a little party at the house, or we go out to dinner…”
“You’d really do all that?”
“Do you really have to ask? I don’t say things I don’t mean, Deana. I think you know that by now.”
“Is there room for everyone at the LA house?”
“Yes. We’ll figure stuff out, maybe even buy a new couch with a pull out bed for the boys or something, I don’t know. The Montana cabin is HUGE, there’s definitely room there at Christmas. If they can do it, I want to do this for you. They’ll be my family soon enough.”
“Justin…”
“At least ask them. The worst they can do is say no.”
“Ok. I’ll call my mom and sister and everyone later.”
“Perfect. Can I suggest something?” He asked with a smile.
“What’s that?”
“We take advantage of that headboard…” he growled.
“Followed by a session under that shower head…” she purred in reply.
“Then a soak in that tub, cuz one if not both of us is gonna be sore…”
…
“Oh. My. GOD you are amazing,” Deana panted, her body wrapped around his, pushed up against the shower wall.
“I have a lot of help from you,” he gasped, kissing her slowly under the gentle spray of the shower. He put his hands around her back, moving her off the wall.
“I don’t want to let go, but anything else is going to be awkward to maneuver,” she sighed.
“The night is still young, we can do another double header after dinner…” he chuckled. Her feet touched the floor, Justin turning the water off.
“Is this our marathon day?” she laughed.
“Fuck no. This is just a warm up to that.”
“If my family is with us, we can’t do anything with them at the house…”
“Or we lock the door and recreate Vegas…”
“God damn you Justin, now that sounds amazing…”
“I’m gonna need to buy more condoms,” he laughed. “Seriously though, we’re almost out… Just don’t tell Danielle it took us this long.”
“Wait, how many do you figure…”
“I bought multi packs, so maybe like 100? I don’t really know. I’d never peg you as being like my own little sex addict.”
“It’s you, that’s really surprising that your girlfriend wants to fuck you all the time?”
“It’s like we’re doing it more NOW than any other time in our relationship. We’re at least joking about what, 5 times in one day today?”
“Who says I’m joking?” she laughed. “I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t get enough right now…”
“You are what makes this amazing,” he sighed, leaning close to her.
“Agree to disagree,” she replied. “I say we soak, no sexy stuff, actually get clean, relax a bit, have food, and see where the rest of the day takes us.”
“Ok, but I’m SO ordering a shipment to the loft. We can spend a night in NYC before my last two shows so we can restock our supply.”
“A shipment, huh? Ordering for the next 6 months are we? Lofty ambitions there, Timberlake. Not that I doubt your stamina after 2 rounds already…”
He chuckled. “Maybe that’s not the right word, but better to have them shipped then be recognized while out buying some somewhere…”
“True. Now, where are we on that bath?”
“You just want to rush through to get back at it…” he chuckled, walking to the bathtub in the center of the shower area.
“Are you really complaining?”
“Absolutely not. In fact, let’s order room service and turn this into a marathon after all…”
