They had settled back into their routine at home, Deana having a lot of free time to knit. The baby shower for Renee was in two days, and she had finished two baby blankets, booties, bibs, washcloths, and was working on what would be little stuffed bunnies. Justin was in his little studio working on music for Trolls, working on ideas that came to his head. 

He walked out to see Deana on the couch, starting to wrap the seeming mountain of knitting on the coffee table. 

“Is this what my life will be like? Knit stuff EVERYWHERE before the baby comes?” he laughed. 

“Pretty much. There needs to be a baby first, but yeah.”

He looked at the different items. “Babe, this is really good stuff.  Seriously consider it, at least online talking custom orders. Mom loves the poncho you gave her for Mother’s Day, and she’s excited for the other one you’re making for her. She could seriously get you the right clientele, so could I.”

“I’ll think about it. I wanna at least take a semester off before getting into a credential program, give myself more than just a summer break. I’m sure the deadlines have all passed anyway.”

“Are you excited to see Renee? Where’s the shower?”

“At her parents’ house. Her mom and sister Elizabeth are hosting. You met Elizabeth at the party. You might have met her as Lizzy.”

“Short, brunette?”

“There’s short, and there’s Renee and Lizzy short. They’re barely 5 foot. But yeah, that’s her. I’ve known her since high school, so we go way back.”

“I thought you knew her from church.”

“We were in the high school group together. Then I met Renee and John in the college group. I stuck around until the group kinda dissolved; people moved away, got married. We still keep in touch fairly regularly.”

“So, when we get married, who would your bridesmaids be?  I know Danielle as ‘matron’ of honor, but who else?”

“My sister, Renee and Lizzy, I dunno. Why?  Who are you gonna have besides Trace?”

“You really have to ask?”

“Your brothers?”

“Not quite…”

“You don’t mean…”

“There was this unwritten rule between us that we’d all be at least be AT each other’s weddings, assuming we ever actually grew the fuck up.  I was at Joey’s and Chris’s, I was sadly on tour when Lance got married. I tried to change it, but he understood. We talked the day of. We’ll see if Jen can get JC to settle down or not.”

“So they’ll really be in our wedding?” she asked excitedly. 

“Calm down, you’re marrying ME, you can talk to them whenever you want already, no need to wait for that… But yeah, they could be if they want.”

“I can really text them any time I want?”

“Uh, yeah… you have their numbers in your phone…”

“Umm, WHAT?! How did that happen?”

“I put them in so if they text you, you’d know who it was and not worry it was some random person.  I’m gonna guess none of them have contacted you yet?”

“No, but good to know I can say hi when I want. I do need to talk to the girls. Maybe they can be in the bridal party, too…”

“That’s up to you, I know you’re not as close to them, at least not yet. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves…”

“YOU were the one that asked, so whatever,” Deana laughed.

“I suppose I was.  Just curious, I didn't feel like I met too many more of your friends at the party.”

“Not the important ones, no.  There’s the karaoke crowd, but I don’t know that I’m THAT close with any of them.  There’s one girl, Helena, who shares a birthday with me.  She’s a few years younger, so karaoke is really all we have in common, and even then she doesn’t sing, she just goes to hang out with her friends that go.”

“Kinda like Dani, with you?”

“Dani sings on occasion.  She does like to go to get out, have a couple drinks, yeah.”

Justin looked back at her knitting.  “What are you making after the baby stuff for the shower?”

“I’ll finish up the poncho for your mom.  She had said something about getting more yarn to do other projects I want, but I honestly had no idea at that point, I was admittedly a little flustered with her wanting to pay for my work, especially so much.”

“What would you want to make for yourself?”

“Well, I’ve had an idea of making a skirt, then I saw this really cute top, so thinking maybe just make it into one full dress.”

“Yeah?”  That sounds like it could take a while.”

“Maybe, but if I’m not really working, I’ll have the time.”

“Do you WANT to be working if you’re gonna be going back into school at some point?”

“I can sub at least, earn my yarn money,” she laughed.

“Hey, you know I’ll support your habit.”  

“True, but it’s not like mine will ever outdo yours.”

“Hey, it’s not a competition.  I think that’s why we work so well together, we support each other without competing.  There can be some resentment of being in my shadow, trying to make a name for yourself.  As great as being an A-list celebrity couple is, it’s also a lot of back and forth, conflicting schedules, pressure to stay active and relevant.  I don’t want to minimize what you do, but you being a teacher doesn’t have the same pressure as being in the business.”

“True, but there is definitely a lot of pressure, keeping up on research and methodology, pedagogy, technology, basically a lot of stuff ending in -ogy,” she laughed.

“When do you want to look into subbing and all that?”

“Well, the school year is almost over, but I can go to the county or city offices and see what I need to do to get signed up.  All those schools in the city, lots of different opportunities to sub every day, I’m sure.  The nice thing being if I don’t want to one day, I don’t have to, and don’t have to feel guilty about not going in.  It would help me see if this is really what I wanna do.  With my degree I could go into a lot of different things with kids, not just teaching, though that is my emphasis.”

“What would you want to do if you decided not to teach?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’d volunteer to find a good fit, get my foot in the door.  I could write a children’s book.  Lots of options, but I’ve felt this pull for a long time, I have to explore it, ya know?”

“Maybe be a principal, I get called into your office, need some detention…”

“OK, now you’ve just slipped into roleplay and not anything real…”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“Absolutely not, Doctor…” she purred.

“Yes, Officer Sexy,” he growled.

“Let me get my glasses, meet you in the bedroom?”

“Yes, teacher.”

…

It  was Saturday, and Deana was at the baby shower.  She was excited to see Renee again, to celebrate the babies.  She remembered a conversation in a car a few years earlier, while Renee was dating but not finding the right guy.  “I feel like this desire I’ve had for so long will go unfulfilled, and I think I need to start being ok with that,” Renee said, choking back tears.

Thankfully, things conspired for Renee and John to get back together, get married, and start a family.  Deana had had a similar thought, that after Morgan she would never find love again, and her own dreams of marriage and kids were out the window.  It seemed to her, in that moment, sitting in a house full of people, that everything was changing.

She knew Justin had been so wonderful to her, so patient, everything she’d ever wanted in a man, and then some.  It felt like a dream most days, but reality was setting in.  This was HER reality.  Justin talking about marriage, kids, having everything she’d ever wanted at her fingertips.  It all meant nothing without him.  

She pulled out her phone, looking through pictures she’d taken of the two of them, places she’d seen because of HIM.  She knew without him, she’d never have gone anywhere beyond her own little bubble that she’d created for herself.  She knew that someday, she’d have a moment like this.  Talking about married life, planning the theme for the baby’s room.  She looked at the ring on her right hand, then her empty left hand.  She could almost feel a weight there, the ring that was talked about over and over, that she knew would someday come.

“Hey Deana, it’s good to see you,” a soft voice said.  Deana looked up, snapped back to the reality of the baby shower, seeing Lizzy.  

Deana stood, hugging her friend.  “Thanks again for coming to my party, it was a complete surprise.  I mean, I knew we were having a party, but yet no one had asked me who I wanted invited.  But Dani knew.  She always knows.”

“It was fun.”  She stepped closer, her voice dropping to a whisper.  “So, Justin Timberlake, huh?” she giggled.  “What’s THAT like?”

“Amazing,” she replied honestly.  “It’s a world I never dreamed of.  I mean, you saw the penthouse.  I never saw myself living in a place like that, and yet…”

“You’re living together?  I just thought he was hosting because he was your boyfriend.”

“Yeah, well,” she said, starting to feel ashamed at what she’d just said.

“Hey, no judgment.  I’m happy you found someone that makes you so happy.  After Morgan, then Paul…”

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly PLAN on going from someone like Paul to Justin.  Thankfully life is kind right now.  God gave me what I needed, when I didn't even know I needed it.  I knew I WANTED someone, but to give me HIM?  It wasn’t just by accident.”

More people had started to listen to their conversation, all knowing who she was talking about.  Deana blushed a little.  “Enough about me.  When is Renee getting here?”

“She should be here any minute.  I mean, it’s not a surprise party, but Mom took her out for a bit so we could decorate and stuff, have THAT part be a surprise.”

Sure enough, Renee and her mom came through the front door a few minutes later.  People cheered for Renee, giving her hugs and the occasional belly rub.   They nibbled on appetizers, making conversation as Renee made her rounds.  They forced her into her dad’s comfy chair, putting her feet up.  “You sit there and we’ll all come to you,” Lizzy said.  

“I’m not on bed rest, I’m just pregnant, with twins, yeah, ok,” Renee laughed, resigned to her seat.

Everyone pulled chairs around so Renee could open presents, they did games on changing diapers blindfolded, to naming songs with “baby” in the title, to scrambled nursery rhymes titles.

Deana had been to so many baby showers over the years that she was a champ.  She had a bit of the “always a bridesmaid, never a bride” feeling kick in, always going to baby showers, but never for herself.  She knew that would someday change, smiling and thinking of Justin as a doting, spoiling dad.

The party was starting to die down, some people leaving.  Deana went to say goodbye, when Lizzy stopped her.  “Don’t think you’re getting away that easily.”  Lizzy pulled her to the couch near Renee, surrounded by a small group of friends from church.

“Tell us everything…” Lizzy said.  “I couldn’t believe it when Renee told me, then I saw your Instagram posts…”

She told the story, meeting him at a bar on Halloween, not being sure that he liked her that way, falling in love, finding out he was Justin.”

“I can’t believe you looked at him every day and had NO idea…” Lizzy said.  “You were OBSESSED with him in high school, writing Mrs. Timberlake on the side of your notes in class.  Hell, you signed my senior yearbook Deana Timberlake.  It’s like you knew, somehow, it was going to happen.”

“More like teen idol obsession.  In reality, I saw him all the time at work, but never thought he’d like someone like me.  Little did I know I’d had dinner with him on my couch the night before.”

“Mom’s not around, right?” Renee asked Lizzy.  Lizzy shook her head.  “How do I ask this without sounding weird…”

“Are we sleeping together?” Deana assumed.  Renee nodded.  She felt unsure how to answer.

“Come on, you know we won’t judge you.  If it were any of us, with any of our celebrity crushes, we’d be doing the same thing.”

“It’s amazing, everything.  He’s just, Justin.  Everything I thought he’d be like, and then some.  At my graduation, he knew how warm it was going to be, and literally ordered cases and pallets of Gatorade and water for the families and friends that were lined up.  Like, HUNDREDS of bottles of Gatorade and over a thousand bottles of water.  He’s kind, smart, funny.”

“What’s he like in bed?  I bet he is a GOD.  You know we talk about this kinda stuff…”

“About your HUSBANDS.  Let’s just say I am well taken care of.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure Dani knows more than that.”

“Dani's HEARD more than that, that’s for sure,” Deana said.  “I’m a very lucky woman, I don’t deny that.  It’s hot, other nights it’s sweet, no matter what it just brings us closer together.  It’s everything I’ve heard sex should be, and more.  It actually helps me remember how far I’ve come.  With Paul, there was so much GUILT involved, I knew it was wrong, even though it felt so good once I’d convinced myself to enjoy it.  With Justin, it just comes naturally, there’s no shame or guilt.  Because it’s leading somewhere.  Paul was just a placeholder, he called himself that, so I found myself often wanting to end things to find the guy that was meant to fill his place.  Then I’d be afraid I’d never find him, and stay with Paul.  Justin, he… there was always getting consent, letting me know I had all the control.  If I wanted to stop anything; kissing, sleeping next to me, whatever, it would stop and he’d go home.  It helped me trust that love and sex could be what I’d heard it’s like.  Beautiful, safe, a feeling of completion.  It’s anything but vanilla, but I feel like we complete each other, that I have this great love, a great lover.”

“Wait, you slept with Paul? You never mentioned any of that before. Anyway, he's old news. Most interesting place you’ve done it?”

“Is this a baby shower, or a sleepover?” Deana laughed.  “Um, I dunno, I feel you’d expect any of these from him.  Dressing room bathroom, or on his private plane.”

“Most romantic moment that led to something more?”

“Vancouver, being surrounded by nature.  Yosemite, same thing.  We walked out towards the river, watching it for a while, knowing anyone could walk by, but feeling so alone at the same time.  It became our little oasis, no one wants to see that part of the park.  We stood there, his arms around my waist, just soaking in the beauty of nature.  The night before Valentine’s Day he took me to dinner, did the whole nine yards cuz he had a show the next day.  We slow danced in the cabin we rented, no light but the moon and stars, it was magical.  Why is this suddenly all about me?”

“Cuz we’ve told you all of our stuff, the more interesting stuff we’ve done, the romantic stuff…”

She knew they were right. Every year they had a girls weekend where they’d pour wine and just let go of everything and talk sex, anything but work and kids for a while. She felt different now, it being Justin. She had no qualms about some of the weird shit her friends did with their boyfriends or husbands, but to share things so personal about him just seemed off limits. 

“What’s his kink? I’m sure it’s something super dirty…”

Deana snapped back to reality. “I don’t wanna talk about it… about any of this anymore.”

“That means it’s DIRTY,” they laughed. 

“No, it’s just, private. He may be my boyfriend, hell, he’s a celebrity, but that doesn’t give you an automatic look into our sex life…”

“Sorry, you know we talk like this with each other…”

Deana started to get her things, heading out of the room. “For the record,” she said, turning to face them, “his ‘kink’ is getting me to orgasm so hard I scream.”  She walked out the door, slamming it behind her. 

She grabbed her phone, calling Justin. “Hey baby, how’s the shower?”

“I just left.  It got, interesting…”

“Interesting how?”

“We just get together for a girls' weekend once a year, talk girl talk, dish on our guys, dirty stuff we’ve done. Well, since I missed the one this year. Thanks to the tour, they used today after the grown ups left to get me to spill.”

“What did you tell them?”

“The truth. I’m well taken care of. They kept pressing for more, I think because it’s you.”

“Did you tell them stuff with HIM?”

“Yeah.”

“What exactly did you tell them, about me?”

“About on the plane, the dressing room bathroom.  But not in detail beyond that. I told them about Vancouver, our early Valentine’s Day, the river setting the mood in Yosemite.  I left when they asked what your kink is…”

“Did you answer them?”

“I told them you love to get me to cum so hard I scream, then stormed off. I literally just left as I called you.”

“How long til you’re home?”

“20 minutes maybe, less if I take a cab.”

“I should’ve given you the car for the day.”

“I’m fine, I’m a big girl and it’s broad daylight.”

“When you get home, I’ll pour you a drink, rub your shoulders, then tonight we are going out. Sounds like you need a night out.”

“What were you thinking?” she asked curiously. 

“Dinner, hit a club, see my baby dancing all sexy and shit.”

“What should I wear for dinner?””

“Worry about that later. Get home, let me take care of you for a bit.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Text me when you get to the elevator so I can start your drink.”

“You’re too good for me.”

“You mean good TO you.”

“I said what I said. Love you.”  She hung up the phone, grabbing a cab. 

She texted him as she got out of the car, getting past security into the building and heading to the elevators. 

She opened the front door, Justin a few feet away with a Midori sour in hand. “Remind me to learn how to make your perfect Mai Tai, so I’m ready for anything you want.”

“Mmmm, ANYTHING I want?” she asked seductively. 

“Alcohol wise; I know what you like in THAT department,” he grinned. 

“If you’re really short on time, I like the Smirnoff Ice and apple flavors, but just those, not the vodka.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” he laughed. 

She sipped her drink, Justin pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He looked at her. 

“How much did they know about Paul?”

She felt a lump in her throat.  “Well, not much.  The first year, we’d just gotten together, we hadn’t slept together yet. The next year, I was too ashamed with everything to tell them anything. I knew he wasn’t serious about me, not really. The hottest stuff was always right after a fight, usually about another woman I caught him getting texts from. Him trying to get me to stay with him, that I’d be his one and only. At one point I think he proposed, but I said no because I didn’t want an open marriage.  I feel like I said more today about him than I had told them while we were together, and it didn’t paint him in the best light.”

“So you tell them about me? Because you like the attention?”

“Because I’m not ashamed of being with you. I stopped because I suddenly didn’t feel like they needed to know you THAT well. I feel bad telling them as much as I did…”

“Why?”

“So much of your life is already out there. Our private time together should be just that, private. At first it was fun, then it started to feel like they were taking advantage of who you are. When they asked about your kink, they said they bet it was something dirty.”

“My reputation can lead to that, it’s understandable. Did you tell them about the swing?”

“No, nothing too specific. Just certain places we’ve been intimate, but not the exact details.  Not even Dani gets that. I just tell her, and I told them, I’m well taken care of. If girls go into too much detail, it’s either really GOOD, or really BAD.  I dunno, I feel like even with Dani, I can’t share too much. I know some things have slipped, but I don’t go into a blow by blow, where you touch me, kiss me, what position we use.  Not even how big you are.”

“Which is…” he growled. 

“A perfect fit,” she purred. 

Justin drained his glass, firmly setting it on a nearby table. “Sit on the floor while I rub your shoulders and back. Take your shirt off so I can really get in there.”

She pulled her shirt over her head, sitting in front of him, between his legs, leaning against the couch. He started soft, pressing into her shoulders, trying to find where she held her tension. It had been a while since she’d had a proper massage, he made a mental note to schedule a spa day for her, or have someone come to them. 

A light hum came from her lips as he worked her muscles, feeling more relaxed at his attentive touch. She bit her lip as he worked out more difficult knots, wincing as he applied more pressure.   He kissed the areas he had to be firmer with, kissing her neck on either side. 

“Are you trying to turn me on?” she asked, his kisses lingering on her neck.

“What if I am?” he replied coyly. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

He continued to massage her shoulders, going down between her shoulder blades, gently pushing her down to lay on the floor. He straddled her, sitting on her ass, rubbing her back. Her moans told him he was doing a good job, whatever he was doing.

“Sit back up, let me see if I missed any spots,” he said, moving back to the couch.

He gently ran his fingers over her skin, down her neck, across her shoulders, his fingers barely touching her. “Justin,” she moaned lightly. 

She turned to face him, his legs spread wide before her.  “I feel like I should return the favor,” she purred. He went to pull his shirt off, she caught him before he could do anything. “Uh uh. That’s not what you should be taking off.”  Her eyes flashed from looking into his, to looking at his pants. 

“Babe, you sure?  I know it was hot the last time, but we also never really do that, I prefer to finish somewhere else.”

“Are you really gonna tell me I can’t suck you off?”

“I mean, no, it feels amazing, but, will it lead to something else?”

“Later. Once we get home tonight.”

“I’m afraid to know, did you and Paul ever…” his voice trailed off. 

“Did I ever suck him off?  No. I tried, it wasn’t my thing. You, on the other hand, well, you were there. I think it’s partly because it’s YOU, knowing Justin Timberlake loves me sucking his dick, the other is that you’ve also been so careful with getting consent, that I want to do things, that I feel in control more. I do things because I WANT to, not because you want me to do them. Even now, you thought I meant give you a massage, not something dirty.  I’m more open because I trust you, one hundred percent, no question. So when I do this, know it’s because I want to.”

He nodded, lifting his hips to pull his pants and boxer briefs down. At first, he sat so he was on the edge of the couch. She pushed him back a bit, getting on her knees. She kissed him, her hand encircling him, his moan echoing in her mouth. 

She pulled away from his lips, slowly taking him into her mouth, running her tongue over the south head, her tongue pressing just below the head. “Fuuuuck…”

She smiled, encouraged by his sounds. She continued to stroke him as she sucked, his fingers trailing into her hair, his breathing becoming ragged. He fought moving his hips in time with her movements, focusing on the pleasure he was feeling. 

“Are you pulling me back from the edge?” he asked. 

“No, just cum for me baby,” she said hurriedly. He gasped as she took him back in, starting to pull her hair. 

“Baby, I’m so close, don’t stop, keep going… oh, yes, YES, OOOOOHHHH!” he grunted as he released, Deana careful to get every last drop. He shuddered as she sucked one final time. 

“Tonight,” she said with a glimmer in her eyes, “we’re playing the long game.”