It was late Saturday afternoon, and Deana was nervous for the date. Deana paced in front of her closet. 

“What the hell do I wear tonight, Dani?” Deana asked in nervous frustration. “He said nothing fancy, jeans are fine, but I still wanna look good!”

Danielle sat on the edge of Deana’s bed. “Calm down. Lemme look, I’ll find the perfect outfit.” Danielle stood up, gently pushing Deana aside to browse the closet. 

Danielle pulled different outfits out, critiquing them in her head before putting them back. “AHA!” she yelled as she found a top. “Pair this shirt with those jeans, and your black ankle boots. It’s been raining, so you don’t wanna ruin your good flats.”

She put on the top, black with cutouts at the shoulders, long enough that if it were Dani, she could wear it as a super mini dress, the hem barely covering her ass. 

“Promise me that someday you’ll wear this shirt pulled all the way down like a dress, nothing on underneath. A nice little sexy surprise for whoever you’re with.”

Deana gave her a look. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?”

“Well, you don’t want to live through MY sex like anymore, so you gotta get one of your own.”

“That’s what I’m nervous about…”

“It’s not like he’s gonna expect you to put out on the first date. I think he might want you to kiss him, but he knows you need time, D. It’s just a first date, I doubt he has unrealistic expectations for tonight. 

Dani helped Deana with hair and makeup. A subtle natural eye, light blush and a touch of lipstick. Her hair down, in more defined curls than her typical wavy hair.

“The only thing I don’t like is that it doesn’t show off your waist and that hourglass figure,” Dani said. 

“But it is a little more forgiving on my problem areas like my back fat and love handles.”

“Just more to hang on to when you’re getting freaky,” Dani teased. 

“Yeah, cuz THAT’S happening any time soon… He says I’m beautiful but he hasn’t seen it all…”

Dani sighed. “Can you keep a secret?”

“What?”

“Bruce told me he definitely thinks you're sexy like that. I won’t say exactly what he said, but damn if I’m not jealous of when you are ready for that. You’re gonna be in so much trouble, I’ll never see you again…” Dani laughed. 

Deana blushed hard. “Well, definitely not ready for that yet.  Not gonna lie, it’s been on my mind. I mean, look at him. I’ve definitely thought about it, but I’m not ready yet.”

“I should’ve told you AFTER your date, cuz now you’ll have that all in your head the whole night… I know you don’t wanna jump into something too soon, but it’s been 6 weeks of flirting and building sexual tension. At some point, you gotta just bite the bullet and go for it.”

“Not tonight, Dani. I’m getting there. The more he says and does, the more I just wanna do things to him…”

“Then do it! Release some of that pressure, tension.”

“I’m just so in my head about if it’s been long enough, if I’m over Paul.”

“The best way to be over someone is to be under someone else,” Danielle laughed. 

“Cuz that’s worked for me before…”

“You go into it with the wrong attitude. You keep feeling like you HAVE to do things in order to get or keep a guy, not because you WANT to do those things. With Bruce, you know him, he knows you, he ALREADY likes you without doing any of that. The sexual piece just fully brings you two together.”

“I dunno.  You might be on to something, but I still need time.”

Justin buzzed three times. “Shit! Is he early or am I running late?” Deana panicked. 

“You are fine, you’re ready. You look great, this is gonna go well. I’ll be gone by the time you get back in case you wanna, you know..”

“Talk? That’s all we’d be doing is talking.”

“Whatever you kids are calling it these days.  Grab your jacket, keys, and GO!”

Deana grabbed her things and headed downstairs. Justin stood by the door, an open umbrella over him. It was lightly drizzling, Deana was glad she took Danielle’s advice on the boots. Deana gave him a quick hug and walked alongside him under the umbrella. 

Justin walked her to a private car, the same driver as the day she had with Danielle. 

“Nice to see you again, miss,” he said as he opened the car door for them, carrying his own umbrella. 

They got in the car and on their way. 

“How far are we going that we need a car?”

Not too far, but I told him to take a longer route so I get more time with you. He had his phone in one hand, leaving his hand next to Deana on the seat. Deana held his hand, her hand relaxed, but fingers together, not interlocked with his. 

You look great Deana. 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she smiled. He had on his pea coat and a scarf up to his nose, and a paperboy hat placed just right. “Just wish I’d get to see more of your face all at once. I think 80s night was the closest, but you had that ridiculous facial hair and glasses.”

She could see the smile in his cheeks and eyes, sparkling and a vivid blue. 

“I guess I’ll get a better view during dinner…”

And I just realized something… we won’t be able to talk during dinner. It’ll make more sense once we get there, but I forgot about that until now. 

The car stopped in front of the restaurant. It looked very simple and quaint on the outside- Abigail’s Kitchen. They went inside, Justin showed his ID, and they were led to a small area. 

“Is this your first time joining us for Dinner in the Dark?” the hostess asked. 

Justin nodded, as Deana looked at him. 

“The idea is to use your other senses to enjoy the food. We’ll go ahead and blindfold you, lead you to your table, and start serving your courses. You won’t know what you’ve had until the end of your meal.  Enjoy.”

Now Deana understood why Justin said they couldn’t talk. He still can’t talk and you’re blindfolded for the duration of the meal. Maybe I’ll have to invite him up so we actually CAN talk after all… she thought. 

They were blindfolded and led to their table. Deana found out surprisingly difficult to eat without being able to see. She found herself awkwardly groping around the table trying to find her glass to drink, suddenly finding her hand touching his. 

What felt like a jolt of electricity hit her at the realization of her fingers on his. She felt herself blush, glad he couldn’t see her. She found a glass, full based on its weight. She took a sip of what was thankfully water, feeling with one hand where to put it using the other. 

She noticed the foods tasted vibrant, powerful, trying to place the smells and tastes without using her sight. It was delicious, but she realized she had very little idea of what she was actually eating. She noticed the textures, any clues as to what they were eating. She took comfort in knowing he didn’t know what anything was either. They had a level playing field on the food. 

The dessert tasted sweeter than she would have imagined, the fruit flavors stronger, the textures varying between crumbly and smooth. She knew part of it was ice cream, noting the cold and surprisingly distinct vanilla flavor. 

When the meal was over, they were allowed to take the blindfolds off. They smiled at each other like they hadn’t seen each other for months, not just over an hour. Justin adjusted his scarf to cover part of his face, then putting his hat back on. They were given a sheet with the different courses they had had. 

They walked back to the car, their driver waiting for them. Where to? he asked. 

“We can go to my place if you want, so we can talk.”

Your place it is. He sent a text to the driver, and they were on their way. 

“The food was amazing, I can’t believe we had all this food…” she said in amazement, looking at the sheet. The dessert was so simple, but had tasted so strong.  A berry bread pudding crumble with homemade vanilla ice cream. 

They pulled up to her building, Justin signaling the driver to leave. Deana was a little nervous going up to her apartment. She fumbled with her keys, dropping them in front of her apartment. 

You sure you want me to come in? he asked. She could see the concern in his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m just in my head. It’s just to talk, but my brain is going through a million what ifs…”

If you just want to talk, that’s all that will happen. 

“I just wanna start this off by saying I had a great time tonight.  I’ve never done something like that.”  She picked up her keys and opened the door. She turned on the lights, featuring for him to sit on the couch. She grabbed water for both of them. 

She looked at him on the couch, and had an unexpected thought in her head. Her mind was replaying the first night she had with Paul, but it was Justin’s face instead of Paul’s. She remembered their kiss in the bar, and felt a part of her wanting to kiss him like that now. 

Her eyes glazed over as she stood there. Justin could tell something wasn’t ok. He tried snapping to get her attention, clapping, but it wasn’t until he got up, crossed the room, and put a hand on her shoulder that she snapped back to reality.  Her breathing was irregular, she could feel her heart racing. 

He gently walked her over to the couch, taking the waters and putting them on the coffee table. 

Deana’s thoughts went to what Dani had said earlier, about Justin wanting her that way. 

You ok?

“Uh, yeah. Lots of thoughts going through my head, sorry. Had a bit of a flashback, but it was different. Then thinking on something Dani said while she was helping me get ready.”

What did she say?

“She means well, but she was trying to tell me it’s ok if I’m ready to jump back into things, especially physically. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve thought about it, but I just don’t know if I’m ready…”

I’m not expecting anything from you tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’ve thought about it too, but I don’t want to put any pressure on you. 

“Ok, did you feel something when our hands touched during dinner?”

He nodded, reaching for her hand. She put her hand in his, smiling at him. He brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear, brushing her cheek as he lowered his hand. 

What was your favorite part of dinner?

“Well, there was one part that was kinda funny…”

What was that?

“The blindfold…”

What about it?

“Well, it’s a little personal…”

Yeah?

“So blindfolds are something I associate with sex. Tonight it heightened our senses in regards to god. Other times, I’ve used it to heighten senses in other ways…” she blushed talking about it. “It adds a sense of surprise, not knowing what’s coming next. Coupled with handcuffs...  and now I’ve now realized I’ve said too much…”

You know what you like, no harm in that…

“Can we forget what I just said? Please?  It’s gonna make what I want to ask you next much more innocent…”

Consider it forgotten. 

“Can you just hold me for a while?  I like the feeling of being in your arms.”

He pulled her close on the couch, wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head on his shoulder. Her hands wrapped around him, sighing contentedly. 

“I really could stay like this forever,” she said. “Would you feel comfortable just holding me tonight?”

He nodded, humming in agreement. 

“I’ll get a little more comfortable, feel free to make yourself comfortable, take off your coat and scarf and stay a while.”  She walked down the hall to her bedroom. 

He removed his coat and scarf, waiting a little nervously for her. She came back out in loose lounge pants and a black t-shirt. She pulled her hair into a side braid, running down her shoulder and collarbone. 

“You might wanna take your shoes off, I don’t really want shoes on my couch.”

He looked at her with a furrowed brow. 

“I’m sure this will sound weird, especially since we haven’t even had our first official kiss, but would you like to stay the night, snuggled on my couch?”

That sounds nice. If you’re sure. 

 “I’d love to wake up in your arms and not have any guilt about anything.  It might help me feel comfortable being with someone again.”

He stretched along the length of the couch, taking a pillow and putting it under his head. Deana laid down next to him, barely having enough room to fit. She struggled to get comfortable, afraid she might fall off in her sleep. 

Deana sighed. “This isn’t how I imagined it working out. You’re sure you’re ok with just cuddling?”

Justin nodded. Deana got up off the couch. “I guess, I mean, do you want to, go into my bedroom?”  He thought she was cute, all embarrassed about asking him to stay, stumbling over her words. 

The second you decide you’re not comfortable with any of this, I’m gone. I want to respect your boundaries. I have no expectations of anything more. I just know it would be nice to dream about you and wake up with you in my arms. 

She took his hand and slowly led him down the hall. “Sorry, I’m trying really hard not to have flashbacks…”

If you change your mind, I won’t be mad. I’m not gonna try anything. You have full control  over what happens with us. 

They reached the doorway into her bedroom. Her pulse was racing, a mix of nervous excitement and fighting off painful memories. 

He’s not rushing you into anything, she told herself. If you told him to leave, he would. She looked deep into his eyes. She felt like she could get lost inside them. She kissed his cheek before stepping into her room. 

He looked around intently, smiling at her framed collection of concert tickets, all for *NSYNC or his solo tours. There were family photos, pictures of her and Dani over the years, and a couple great photography shots. She had what he guessed was a queen sized bed, much more roomy than the couch for both of them. 

Deana sat on the edge of her bed, staring at him. “It’s uncanny. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear that Justin Timberlake is in my bedroom.  But that would never happen…”

Justin sat next to her. What would you do if you got to spend time with him? We’re surprisingly close. 

“Oh my god I think I’d die. I’ve had a few minor run ins with him, but to really TALK to him, I think I’d die of excitement. I always wanted to meet him, or the rest of the guys back in the day. But those tickets were always too expensive. The closest I’ve ever been was this last show here and my brother got us those. There’s no way I could afford VIP or anything like the bar area.”

What would you say to him if you had the chance?

“How much I love his music, I’ve watched all the movies he’s been in. He’s such a down to earth guy in a lot of ways, but it’s not like he’d just walk up to me on the street and ask me out…”

Why not? 

“Look at me…”

I am. I can’t stop looking at you. You’re beautiful, Deana. You really are. Your eyes, your genuine smile. You have more going for you than you think. Even the REAL Justin would see that.

She somehow knew he was right.  She thought of their interactions at his work.  The two notes he’d given her.  But that was different, that was just coffee, nothing real.  If she saw him out in the rest of NYC, would he even notice her?  She was afraid to know that answer, and hopefully would never have the chance. 

“What do you like about me?” she asked, searching his eyes.

He laughed a little.  I just said your eyes and smile… You’re kind, funny, compassionate, caring.  Those are just some of what I like about you, among other things.

“Other things?”

I’m trying to be respectful and not list your more sexy attributes… 

“You REALLY find me sexy?  I know Dani told me you did, but…”

She spilled my secret, huh?

“Kinda.  She wouldn’t tell me exactly what you told her, but yeah, I guess…”

I think that’s a conversation for a different phase of our relationship, should we get there.  I’d rather SHOW you than TELL you, if you get my drift.

She did.  “Yeah, she warned me I’m gonna be in trouble, that she might never see me again.”

Justin stifled a laugh.  That sounds more like I’d kill you than something else…

“I think she means...”

I know what she meant, but she worded it poorly.  That we’d be at it all the time…

“Yeah,” Deana sighed.  The thought crept into her mind.  No Danielle around, hot guy in her bedroom, already planning on staying the night.  She knew how this could play out if she wasn’t careful.  She didn’t think she’d mind with him, though.  Her face started to flush at the idea, her cheeks getting red.

You ok?  You keep kinda spacing out tonight…

“Yeah, just in my head.  I know where this could lead if we let it.  Part of me wants to.  Another part of me says it’s just our first date.  Then I hear Dani’s voice saying it’s been 6 weeks of flirting and building sexual tension, and, well…”

Maybe we should just go to sleep then.  I do want to apologize in advance…

“For what?”

It’s been a while since I’ve been in any sort of relationship.  Things may kinda go on autopilot while I’m asleep.  If I’m asleep and you’re uncomfortable, I’m usually dead to the world, so just move things around to something more appropriate.  I really do want to respect your boundaries, but with how I feel about you, I can’t promise my hands will be where they should be.  He blushed a little, but wanted to prepare her just in case.  He wasn’t sure what to expect when either of them woke up in the morning.

She laughed a little.  “Thanks for the warning.  Yeah, I think going to sleep isn’t a bad idea.”

To add an extra layer to everything, do you have an extra blanket?  You can sleep under the covers, and I’ll sleep over them with a different blanket.

“You are incredible, you know that?”

He smiled, blushing harder.  I try.  Can I kiss your cheek once we’re ready to go to sleep?

She nodded.  “That would be fine.”  She grabbed an extra blanket from her closet, handing it to Justin before turning off the light.  True to his word, he let her get under her sheets, and he laid next to her above them with his blanket.  He wrapped an arm around her waist, his hand holding hers.  He leaned around and gently kissed her cheek.  

She felt so safe, it felt familiar somehow.  She smiled knowing that when she woke up the next morning, he would be there.