Justin woke up and it was still dark.  The clock on her bedside table said 4:15.  He smiled at the feeling of her next to him, then realized something.  His hand was all but cupping one of her breasts, the blankets and her shirt moved for access.  She must have been a sound sleeper to not notice his hand against her skin.  He enjoyed the moment for a bit before moving everything back to where it should have been.  Deana stirred a little, a light moan escaping her lips as she adjusted and stayed asleep.  She was now against him on her back instead of her side, her hand finding his, a smile spreading across her face.  

I know the sun isn’t even up yet, but when I wrote Morning Light, I never thought I’d feel that way again about someone else.  Here I am, and all I want to do is just look at her, and hold her for as long as I can.

He fell back asleep, thankful that she had taken a chance, a step forward.  

Deana woke up around 7:30, his arm still around her.  She carefully moved his arm and got out of bed.  She walked into the kitchen, her phone in hand.  She turned on her music, playing lightly in the background as she started on breakfast.  Her phone buzzed.

So, how did last night go…

Deana smiled.  He’s still here, I’m making breakfast…

Her phone rang, she picked up on the second ring.  

“Wait, WHAT?!  You can’t just text that to me…”

Deana whispered, “I need to start at the beginning.  He took me to that Dining in the Dark thing.  We were blindfolded so we couldn’t see our food, we fumbled around trying to find things on the table and our hands touched.  Since we couldn’t see, there was no way he could talk to me.  So I invited him up to talk about what we couldn’t at dinner.  One thing led to another, and I asked him to stay the night.”

“See, I told you to go for it.  How was it?  Everything you ever dreamed of?”

“Something like that,” Deana teased.  “He just slept next to me, over the sheets.  Nothing more juicy for you, sorry.  Though I could swear at some point I think he had his hand on my breast, but maybe that was wishful dreaming.”

“So you have this semi sexual dinner, you invite him up, and you don’t sleep with him?”

“We only kissed on the cheek.  We talked about things, though.  I let slip a lot more than I should have.”

“Like?”

“Certain things I’ve learned I like…”

“Yeah…?”

“Cuz I’m gonna share that kinda stuff with you…”

“Oh come on, I need something…”

“He knows to use those handcuffs you bought me, when I’m ready…”

“You bad girl,’ Dani laughed.  “Glad I got a strong pair, you’re gonna be rattling headboards for sure.  A guy that hot, I mean, imagine it…”

“That’s ALL I’m willing to do right now.  I gotta go, I’m cooking and I think he’s waking up.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…”

“That’s kinda the plan, NOT do what you would do…”

She was glad she hung up, as she heard the bedroom door open.  She kept cooking, the food almost finished.  He stood between the hallway and the living room, looking at her.

I could get used to this.  Even in simple PJs, her hair a little mussed, she is breathtakingly beautiful, he thought, a smile on his face.

He walked up to her, stood behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her cheek.  

“Did you sleep well?” she asked.  He nodded, his head against hers.   

She’d made scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast.  “It’s not much, but it’s something,” she said apologetically.  He kissed her cheek again, nuzzling her neck.

“Now I want to just stay here, not sit down and eat,” she laughed lightly.  “Not gonna lie, it was nice to have you next to me this morning.”

He smiled at her, nodding in agreement.

“Not saying we make this a regular thing, but I’d be ok if you wanted to stay the night like that again on karaoke nights.”  He kissed her neck gently, sending a shiver up her spine.

She broke his embrace, grabbing plates and dishing up breakfast for the both of them.  “Feel free to grab anything from the fridge, juice, or something for your toast.”

He grabbed the orange juice and the jar of grape jelly.  He coughed, getting her attention to ask if she wanted some juice.  

“I’m fine, but I’ll take some of the jelly,” she replied softly.

They sat down and slowly picked at their plates.  “This is nice,” she smiled.  “Being with you like this, no expectations, normal life.  No awkward sneaking out or regrets about the night before.”

He pulled out his phone.  If you had been ready for anything more last night, I don’t think there would be anything to regret.  And definitely no awkward sneaking out.  I’m perfectly fine waiting for you on things.  I’m sorry if it makes you more in your head, just follow your heart.  I’m glad you asked me to stay, it felt nice to wake up and not be alone.  To be with someone I care deeply for.  I think you know that by now.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think I was ready.  I’m honestly having some flashbacks though.  There was a guy friend I had a bit of a crush on in high school.  While we didn't spend the night like WE just did, we did snuggle on his bed watching a movie.  I thought there was something there, he just liked the closeness.  I’m trying to remind myself that this is not the same situation.  My heart is trying to prepare for what my head is telling it is inevitable heartbreak.  To not get too attached.  The way you held me, kissed my cheek, then my neck, I’m hoping those are little things to tell me this IS heading somewhere…”

Only if you want it to.

“I do,” she smiled, looking into his eyes.  “I like where things are heading.  It may seem in an odd order, but it somehow makes sense in my head.  Dipping my toes in the water before getting all the way in, as it were.  Building a basic level of intimacy before getting more physical.”

I like holding you, this was definitely a first date to remember.  

“I’ll get there, I just need a little more time…”

I’m not going anywhere. I’m ok waiting as long as you need. I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long time, especially without sex…  

“I think that’s what scares me. I’ve been in love, or what I THOUGHT was love, but all it was was a physical connection that fizzled out. We’d like each other at first, then things would get hot and heavy, and burn out. For so long I thought if I gave myself to a guy, even without the final act, that would be enough to keep him around. Then I met Paul, all it was was sex, and I still couldn’t keep him. To feel what I do, without the physical side, I dunno… I’m scared of screwing it all up somehow. I WANT that physical closeness, but I worry that’s all it will become.”

I’m not gonna lie, sex is GREAT, but I think with us, to have what we do without it, means that once you’re ready, it’ll just connect us even more. I hope that makes sense. As long as it’s what you want, not something you feel you HAVE to do. If that’s the only reason to stick around, there’s not much holding it together. We have more than that. 

“I know. It’s just so conflicting. On the one hand, what we have right now is great, and I don’t want to complicate it with sex. On the other hand, now that I’ve actually had sex and know how great it can be, I want to just jump right in.”

I’m willing to wait for whatever you are comfortable with. Staying the night, waking up with you in my arms, was super sexy without us even doing anything. 

“Are you falling for me?” she teased. 

No. I’ve already fallen for you…

“Do you love me?” Her voice was serious this time. 

When I do, I’ll tell you. Not to get something from you, not because I feel like I SHOULD. I’ll tell you because I FEEL it, and it’ll be the most wonderful thing in the world, even if you don’t feel it back yet.

They finished their food, Justin helping do the dishes. 

“So, what’s the plan now? Do you want to go home? Do you want to stay?”

If you don’t have any other plans, I can stay.  We could watch a movie. What’s your favorite?

“You’re gonna laugh, but my guilty pleasure movie is Friends with Benefits.  Obvious reasons, but I totally relate in certain ways to Jamie, and the eye candy of Justin, mmm.”

Justin quietly laughed to himself. 

“I won’t make you watch that though. Honestly, my go to movies to watch are any of the Harry Potter movies, Lord of the Rings, or if Friends is on.”

I could go for a Friends binge on Netflix…

She logged into her account on her phone, then used Chromecast to send it to her TV. They started at the first episode, Deana snuggled against him on the couch.

8 episodes later, they started to get hungry. Want Chinese? I can order more from the place I brought last time. 

“Sure, that sounds great.”

He ordered food and they continued to watch while it was delivered. When they buzzed the apartment, Justin went down to pay and bring it up. 

“Just how much did you order?” Deana asked, seeing three full bags of food. He shrugged, putting it out on the coffee table. 

Lunch and dinner, if nothing else. 

They ate as they watched, Justin having a whole container of the hot and sour soup for himself. I got you one too, if you want. He pulled out the second container and gave Deana a spoon. She ate it before it got cold. 

“How did you find this place?” she asked. 

I was walking around one night. Actually, it was the night I heard you sing. Seems like everything was going right for me that night…

They smiled at each other. 

Deana snuggled back up to Justin once they stopped eating. She was comfortable enough next to him, his arm around her, that a few more episodes in,  she fell asleep. 

Yeah, I could definitely get used to this, he thought to himself. Beautiful woman that doesn’t NEED anything fancy, is perfectly happy with a night in as much as a night out. 

He grabbed his phone and texted Trace. 

Things are going great with Deana. Had our first date last night, I guess I’m still on it since we haven’t left her place since last night. 

You dog, way to go... 

Nothing like that. Yes I spent the night, but all we did was snuggle. Gotta tell ya, it was nice to wake up with a beautiful woman beside me again. 

Glad you’re happy, man. 

I am. I’ve never felt this deep a connection with a woman without sex involved. It’s really great. I’m feeling this great connection and she’s not feeling all this pressure to move too fast. 

When do I get to meet her?

For my birthday. I’m keeping my actual birthday clear to spend with her before and after the show. I think by then I’ll be ready to reveal myself. She has no clue somehow. She’s a fan but doesn’t think she stands a chance with the “real” Justin, she just thinks I’m an uncanny lookalike. 

Wait, seriously? She has no clue?

Nope. It’s refreshing, actually. I can be more low key, she’s not expecting to go out to high end places all the time. 

 So where was this first date last night?

There’s a place here that does Dining in the Dark. They blindfold you so you can’t see your food, you don’t know what you’re eating, using your other senses more. She was fumbling for her water glass and our hands touched. Something about it was just, wow. The rest of the night was amazing. Even in plain pj pants and a t-shirt she is so damn sexy. 

That’s great, man. I really hope it works out for you. She does sound amazing, I’m sorry for being so quick to judge her. 

I’m just glad you changed your mind. It’d take too long to break in a new best friend… ????

Again, I’m sorry. It was rude of me, she’s just so different from every other girl you’ve been with. 

She really is, in the best way though. 

Deana slightly shifted against him, waking up.

“How long was I asleep?” she asked.

Maybe an episode or two.  I wasn’t really keeping track.  I just thought it was cute.

They picked at what was left of the Chinese food as they watched more episodes.  It was around 7:00 when Deana got off the couch.  “I have work at 4:00 tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep.  It was a wonderful first date, one I’ll never forget.”

She reluctantly walked him to the door.  “I’d ask you to stay again, but I’m sure your roommates or whatever might worry.”

I’ve been in touch, but it’s fine.  Hearing your alarm go off would mean I’m up for the rest of the day, it would throw my schedule out of whack.  I agree, it’s been a great date.  Not a typical date with me, but that’s ok.  

“Yeah, what’s a typical date with you like, then?” she teased.

You’ll just have to find out, won’t you?  He smiled as he reached for the door.  She pulled him close into a lingering hug, her face buried in his chest.  

“Is it wrong that I don't want you to leave?” she looked up at him, her eyes almost sad.

No.  I don't want to leave, either.  All good things have to end at some point.  You needing to sleep for work is a pretty good way to end things.  For now.  I’ll see you on Tuesday.  He kissed the top of her head, giving her a tight squeeze.

She kissed his cheek as she opened the door, watching him walk down the hall.  As he made his way downstairs, she went to the window to watch him leave down the street.  She opened the window enough to say goodbye one more time, watching him round the corner.  

She closed the window, turned off the TV and the lights, realizing she’d never gotten out of her pajamas from the night before.  She got ready for bed.  As she got in bed, she remembered the night before, and how lonely her bed felt again.  It almost broke her heart to know he wasn’t there to hold her.  So much for no regrets, she thought.