Deana was startled awake when Danielle opened her bedroom door.  “What’s wrong?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Check your email…”

“OK…” she grabbed her phone.  “I have an email from Ticketmaster about the show tonight…  Woah…”

“That sore throat he had is full on bruised vocal chords.  The tour is postponed for at LEAST 2 months.  No show tonight D, sorry.  I wonder if he’ll stay here in NYC while he recovers.  Maybe you’ll get to see him some more after all…”

“Yeah, like I could get Justin Timberlake…  I’m 35, a size 22, no one’s idea of a celebrity’s girlfriend.”

“Where is that confidence, D?”

“Paul took what little I had when he left.”

“No.  It’s there inside you somewhere.”

“As much as Paul made me feel great about myself, it’s a double edged sword. He saw that I had low self esteem that he could get what he wanted by paying attention to me. That’s his MO, sleep with all these women with low self esteem. Did he help me find things to like about myself? Yeah. But it’s complicated because he took advantage of my self esteem and got me hooked.”

“Just take those things and go with it. What was one of the things?” Danielle asked. 

“Well, I guess my boobs and hips, two things I’ve been critical of on myself.”

“How so?” Danielle asked. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I knew he found them sexy, while I wish I could change them.”

“Pretty sure I speak for most guys that boobs and hips and ass are what gets their attention.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got plenty of both and no ones banging down my door…”

“Because you don’t FLAUNT them, there’s no confidence behind it. I admit you did seem more confident when you were with Paul, even if it was a false confidence. You have to believe you ARE sexy, not just because one guy thinks so, but because YOU think so. What are you going as for Halloween?”

“Well, it’s a Wednesday, so something kid friendly for my observation day. I was thinking something like Miss Frizzle, a cool patterned dress I have.”

“That goes for at karaoke, too?”

Deana nodded. 

“Honey, let me find something PERFECT for you for karaoke, please?  Unless you’re going as a SEXY teacher, no one will be looking at you. “

Deana sighed in defeat. “You’re not gonna let this go til I say yes, so I might as well…”

“You won’t regret it.  Alright missy, get going to your observation, say hi to Ms. S. for me.”

Danielle left as Deana started to get ready. Since she was just observing, she could wear jeans and a t-shirt and be fine.  She pulled her hair into a half ponytail, the lower half of her hair in loose wavy curls.  She’d gotten to know the kids, and was feeling comfortable helping out in various ways.  She’d had to do this before for other classes she’d taken, but had never felt ready so early in the school year.  

The school was a 20 minute walk.  While it wasn’t the school she had gone to, being able to work with her favorite teacher was a bit of a dream come true for Deana.  School had already started, she always came at the end of their first recess.  She checked in at the office, put on a visitor’s badge, and walked to the classroom.

“Good morning Miss Deana,” the kids greeted her as she walked in the room.  She sat in a chair towards the back of the carpet.  Since they were first graders, they already knew their letters and sounds, and were working on blending the sounds in word families.  They pronounced the sounds of each individual letter, then said the sounds all together to form the word.  Ms. S. would call on a student and change the first or last letter of the word to see if they could hear the new word and recognize it by its sounds.  Then they broke into reading groups.

Deana felt comfortable enough to help take the higher level readers, leaving Ms. S. to help those still learning to read. They were reading books she remembered reading in school, it felt familiar and yet odd to be on the other end of things all those years later.  If a student got stuck on a word or pronounced it incorrectly, Deana would gently interject to correct the word, helping them see it on the page and hear it out loud.  

Next, they gathered back on the carpet and read a story for Halloween.  Deana helped students sit up and pay attention to the story, instead of talking or lying down on the carpet.  After the story, they talked about different things they saw in the book.  They moved to their desks, and Ms. S. wrote the words on the white board for them in her big, beautiful printing.  Deana passed out paper that had the sentence starter “When I think of Halloween, I think of…”.  The students were then able to write whatever they wanted as long as it was on topic and appropriate.  “Remember,” Ms. S. started, “we don’t talk about weapons at school, so if your costume is a superhero or something with a weapon, leave that part out.”

The students got out their pencils, erasers, and a small green book.  The book had different words in them, sorted alphabetically, to help them spell words they didn’t know.  It came with a list of high frequency words for each letter, and left a couple pages for adding more.  If students needed a word, including the ones on the board, Deana or Ms. S. would write it in their book for them to copy.  She wished she could remember if such a book was around when she was in first grade, but she had always been a good speller, so she might not have needed it.  

Just like that, it was time for lunch, and for Deana to go home.  The kids all said goodbye as they lined up for lunch, Deana walking them to the cafeteria before she stopped at the office to check out.  She always wished she could stay longer, but she used the rest of the day to work on homework and some chores around the apartment.  

She would always stop by her store before going home, getting a sandwich and iced tea or lemonade.  

“I’ll never understand why you don’t change your schedule to do even a half on Wednesdays, or even a closing shift,” said a coworker.

“To give me time during the week to get homework done before my weekend day off,” she replied.

“Even if you open, you’re off in plenty of time to spread it throughout the week.  You know they’d give you a full weekend off if you switched.  Besides, we’re losing someone that works Wednesdays in a couple weeks.  We NEED you here.  You could come in around this time, wouldn’t have to give up your observation time…”

“She’s right,” said another voice.  Her store manager stepped out from the office.  “I don’t condone gossip, but it would really help us out if you’d come in on Wednesdays, starting in two weeks.  I know next week is Halloween and it’ll be crazy at the school, so if you could start the week after that, it would really help us out.  It wouldn’t be a full shift, but it would allow me to shift things around and give you weekends off.  Danielle is saying she keeps trying to get you to get out more…”

“Well, if you really need me…” Deana sighed.

“We do.  At least for a while.  Hopefully it’s temporary and we get someone else, but for now, we need to shift things around.  I don’t want you losing hours.”

Deana got her order and went home, trying to enjoy it before starting on reading and homework. She only took two classes at a time to keep herself from stressing out. They had just finished midterms, so that was behind her now. She had started prepping for her final papers, doing research and getting outlines ready. 

Danielle would tell her it was far too early for that, but she would counter with feeling bad about not staying as soon as she got the assignment. Getting an early start meant she wouldn’t have to hole up in her room close to the due date. She liked to be prepared, she hated surprises. 

…

Justin woke up from a dream about his mystery woman, the voice ringing clearly through his head, in his dream and after walking up. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time, and didn’t even know who was making him feel that way. 

He suddenly remembered he was on vocal rest, feeling his spirits drop a bit. Hearing her voice reminded him of being on stage, something he wasn’t going to get to do that night. 

I’ll see her around Halloween, I need the perfect costume. He walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. I could shave, throw people off. They’ve been used to the beard look that they won’t expect me to shave just for a costume. I’ll do it the day of, so people will have seen me with the beard in the morning. Maybe a mask to cover my face? 

He took out his phone and searched for men’s Halloween costumes with masks. He scrolled through various pictures until he saw the perfect costume. I can be Batman!  That settles it.  He placed an order through Amazon Prime, next day shipping. I’ll be her hero, if she needs one. 

He’d decided not to venture out for the day, ordering in for lunch and dinner. He smacked on pickles, having more of the juice. He was starting to get used to it, thinking of Michele. 

He watched movies, napping throughout the day, realizing how boring this all was with no music to work on. Sure, he could work on lyrics, maybe the music and instrumentation, but not being able to sing made the rest of it seem meaningless.  These next two months are going to be MISERABLE, he huffed internally.