She walked into her bathroom, a flood of emotions.  Dammit, after what just happened, my brain is on autopilot and wanting to just rush into things.  Especially after Paul, my body is telling me to just do it, it feels so good.  Even he wants to take things slow, so what do I do?  Now that we’ve started, the line starts to blur.  Even a few days ago I wouldn’t have been ok with what just happened, but in the moment, god it felt good to be found attractive and to react to him.  I want to, but I don’t at the same time.  He’s different.

She got changed into new pajama pants and underwear.  She opened the door a crack.  “I’m ready, open the door once you’ve changed.” She felt the door open into her, she could see him wearing the pants she’d given him, his clothes balled up in his hand.  “You can put them in the hamper and we’ll just take the whole thing down.  I have a brother, not like I haven’t touched guys underwear doing laundry before.”  He put his clothes in with hers, lifting the hamper by the handles.  They walked silently to the laundry room on the first floor.  They put the clothes in with the detergent, started the cycle, and went back to her apartment so they could at least be comfortable as they talked.

He sat on the couch, still unsure of what to do.  Deana sighed. “I’ll start first.  I know I’ve rushed into things in the past, but tonight, I wanted this.  Yes, I’ve felt bad about not being able to get you off while we wait for me to be fully ready, but this seemed like a good compromise.  Trust me, the way things were going, I could’ve said forget it and we’d be naked right now.  Though I’m guessing you’d be questioning that, too.  As ‘satisfied’ as I’ve been with other guys, I knew in my head the whole time what was happening.  I just decided it was better than being alone.  Tonight, for me, was different.  I WANTED this, wanted you.  I won’t lie, the line is starting to blur for me between what I am ready for and what I THINK I’m ready for.  A few days ago I would’ve said no way to what just happened.  Danielle talking to me, being the ‘bad influence’ that she is, got me thinking of how this could be beneficial for both of us.  For you, that hopefully you can get off, and that I can do it without having to give up too much of myself too soon.  Does that make sense?”

He nodded.  I just wanted to make sure you weren’t just doing this for my sake, as if I need this in order to be interested in you.  It was sexy as hell, but I think I’ve shown I don’t NEED this to like you, it just gives me more to like.  

“That’s why I said I want to keep doing this until I am ready.  I may not get off myself, but I still get to have you hold me, feel your hands on my body, feel some of those feelings and sensations I’ve missed, without feeling like I’m rushing too much.  We just have to control ourselves with it, one or both of us could take it too far… There IS a way for me to finish without you needing to do anything to compromise things… I was going to wait until our first time, but check the bottom middle drawer of my dresser…”  she started to blush.

He walked over, and his eyes widened a little.  In the drawer were her handcuffs, a couple different silk scarves and blindfolds, and a very basic vibrator.  “So I CAN do the job myself, if I’m really that worried about it.  It’s weird for me to have someone else use that on me, I feel it’s not as effective as the guy himself.  That was a birthday present for my 30th birthday.  I think you can guess who from.”

So we just stay the course with what we did tonight, clothes stay on but still feel great?  I’m just scared of becoming another failed relationship because things moved too fast.  I don’t expect any of this, you can change your mind at any time.  I honestly sort of expected it at some point.  Then when you told me to cum for you, I should have known you wanted this just as much as I did, maybe even moreso.  

“Maybe we only do this kinda thing on the weekends, so we have time to do laundry after.  On karaoke nights, we keep things super PG.  Does that sound ok?”

As long as it’s what you want.  I’m always going to want you, I hope you know that.  But I also don’t want to rush into things you’re not ready for just for me.  I’m honestly freaking out about when we do have our first time.  Whether you’ll really be ready or not.

“I’ll be ready, I’ll make that abundantly clear.  No plans on that yet, but the closer I get the more of a plan I’ll have.  Let me take the lead on this, please.  Trust that whatever we do is because I WANT it.  Like with our kiss.”

What do you mean? I kissed YOU…

“No, I kissed YOU… I had a plan and everything.”

Me too, I even told Danielle…

“Well, looks like we both wanted the kiss at that moment, which makes it even more special.  Know that I overthink things, a LOT, and usually never follow through with things out of fear.  So what we did tonight, know that that’s what I’d decided I wanted, and remember that for anything else in the future.  When I’m ready for our first time, you will have no doubts in your mind that I’ve decided I’m ready.”

Her alarm buzzed to put the clothes in the dryer.  They went down and changed things over, then went back up.  

“So, wanna watch Friends while we wait?” she asked.  He nodded.

It was one of her favorites, The One With the Prom Video.  She kept quoting various lines, laughing hysterically at certain jokes.  Then they got to the climax of the episode, where Rachel finds out Ross was willing to take her to the prom.  Deana grabbed Justin’s hand, fingers laced together.  She smiled as Rachel walked over to Ross and kissed him, then quoted Phoebe’s line, “see, he’s her lobster!”

Justin looked at her in that moment.  Am I your lobster?

“God, I certainly hope so,” she said, as he pulled her in for a kiss.  She melted into his arms, mouths open, tongues gentle against each other, hands holding each other close.  A satisfied hum escaped her lips, and Justin smiled against her lips.  They continued to kiss until the alarm for the laundry so rudely interrupted them.  

After we get laundry, I think we need to get into bed.  To sleep.

“Thanks for the clarification, but I knew what you meant.  It’s been a great date night in, good food, good company, a little foreplay…”

Save all your laundry for Friday nights from now on… he had a mischievous smile on his face.

“I think I can swing that,” she laughed.

They went down to get the laundry, and Justin brought it back upstairs.  Deana looked at Justin.  “So, insight into the monster that I am… I’m gonna leave those clothes in there until tomorrow and NOT put them away right now.”

If Justin had been drinking something, he’d have done a spit take.  That’s it, deal breaker.  I HAVE to put my laundry away ASAP, even at 2 AM…  She saw his smile and knew he was joking.  

She saw that it really WAS 2AM, and they got into bed. He held her close, she could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. He sighed, content in this moment. 

“I know babe,” she said. “Me too.”