It was Tuesday afternoon again, and Deana had butterflies in her stomach.  She wasn’t sure why, but the days she knew she would see him always gave her this feeling.  She noticed it more when he would text, too, but it wasn’t as strong as before she would see him.  She was over halfway done with the second part of his Christmas gift, surprised at how little time it actually took compared to how much she thought she would need. 

Her phone buzzed.  Hey beautiful, I’ll see you soon.  Did you have plans for dinner tonight?  I thought maybe we could cook something together.

Save that idea for Friday when Dani won’t be there feeling like a third wheel.  I definitely see a lot of kissing and arms around each other in our future doing that.  I hadn’t thought that far yet, rare, I know.  I’m really ok with just pizza or something, I’m just glad I get to see you. ???? 

We’ll order once I get there then.  See you in a bit.

If you want, you could come over now, get a little kissing in before Dani gets here… 

He chuckled to himself.  When you put it like that, I’ll be right over.  

Deana smiled, the thought of seeing him even sooner almost made her burst.  Is this love, she thought to herself, or is it just that emotional high at the beginning of a relationship?   It’s been so long since I’ve felt something like this.  I convinced myself that I ‘loved’ Paul to keep things going, but deep down I knew that wasn’t it.  This feels different than with Morgan, and I planned on marrying him.  Was that really not love at all then, based on things I feel now?

He buzzed three times, she buzzed him up.  Must have gotten a cab, she thought to herself.  She opened the door before he could knock, greeting him with a hug and a kiss. 

They sat down on the couch, got comfortable, and started making out. Justin made sure his hands stayed over clothes, as tempting as it was for him to do more. 

You better after Sunday? he asked. She nodded. “Not now, I’m busy kissing this really hot guy…” she replied, pulling him back towards her. 

Time seemed to stand still, they had no idea how long they were kissing, until Dani buzzed to say she was coming up. 

They sat up, Deana fixed her hair, they both straightened clothes, before sitting with Deana leaning against Justin on the couch. 

“Could you be LESS obvious that you were just making out?” Danielle laughed as she opened the door. “As you were, I don’t mind.”  Deana kissed Justin, but a quick peck, not wanting to be rude. “I said I don’t mind, but whatever…”

“I mind, I don’t want you feeling like a third wheel,” Deana said. “We promised you wouldn’t be a third wheel, and we’re sticking to it.”

“Besides,” she whispered to Justin, “we have tonight to have more alone time.”

“You’re a terrible whisperer, D,” Danielle said. 

“You just have supersonic hearing,” Deana fired back. 

“How about this- we order pizza, I go do something in my room til it gets here, and you two can do whatever…”

“You sure, Dani?”

“I don’t mind. I think it’s cute, you guys are so happy together. How much trouble can you get in before pizza gets here, anyway?” she laughed. 

They ordered pizza and Danielle went into her room. “Well, where were we?” Deana asked him. He pulled her close, kissing her deeply, his hands on her waist. One hand traveled up her body, brushing her breast as he laced his fingers in her hair. She hummed against his lips. 

The pizza delivery guy buzzed in what felt like no time. Justin went down and grabbed the pizzas, bringing them back up. Deana had queued up Friends, and they watched a few episodes while they ate. 

Deana went into her room to change before karaoke. She wore a royal blue long sleeved shirt, black pants, and black boots. She knew it would be cold outside and grabbed her warmest jacket. She left her hair down in its natural loose waves, silver eyeshadow with eyeliner and mascara. 

She walked back out to the living room. “Ready to head over?” she asked. 

It’s freezing outside, can I call us a car or something? Get there and back safe and warm…

“I suppose, I hadn’t really thought about it,” Deana admitted. 

Justin arranged for his driver to come get them.  They got bundled up as they waited.  Deana had a button up coat and a grey infinity scarf she’d made herself.  Justin has his pea coat, a thick wool scarf, and a black beanie.  

Deana looked at him in the beanie and smiled.  Damn, he looks good in EVERYTHING, she thought.  And he likes ME?  I must have done something right…

They went down to the lobby to wait for the car, within the safety of the glass doors.  As the car pulled up, Justin opened the door for the girls.  The cold was biting, they were instantly glad they had taken his suggestion.  The driver stayed in the car, Justin opening the car door so the girls could get in.  They greeted their driver as they buckled up, and off he drove to the bar.

They settled into a table at the bar, Deana getting song slips and Danielle getting drinks.  Justin could feel eyes on him, sensing Paul was around.  No contact was made that night, but it gave him a bad feeling.  

Danielle was at the bar getting drinks, when a medium height, skinny young man approached her.  “Hi, Dani,” he said.

“Hi, Neil.  How’ve you been?”

“Good, I’m good.  So listen, I know Paul messed up with Deana…”

“He did WAY more than just ‘mess up’.”

“Anyway, he’s changed.  He wants to be friends with everyone again.  He’s going to meetings, wants to make amends, all of it.”

“Well, he owes Deana one HELL of an amends…  I’m glad he’s working on things, but why tell me?”

“He’s afraid to approach her, especially with her new guy.”

“Please, he’s harmless.  MUCH better for her than Paul ever was, but there’s nothing to be afraid of if he’s being nice and making his amends.”

“Can you talk to her, let her know so she’ll actually LISTEN to him, give him a chance to get everything out?”

Danielle sighed.  “I guess, if it’s part of his journey to sobriety.  Terrible way to get sober though, hanging out in a bar…”

“He has an agreement with the bar, they help keep an eye on him, they know not to give him anything beyond water and soda.  He gets to see his friends and stay sober.”

“I’ll see what I can do…”

“Thanks Dani, it means a lot…”

Danielle walked back over to the table with their drinks. “Alright, before we start tonight, I just have a few announcements,” the DJ started.  “Next week is Christmas, so my staff and I are taking the night off.  The bar is still open if you want to meet, but there is no karaoke next week.  The next week, we start the year off with a pajama party!  Come looking like you just rolled out of bed.  Some of you just might after partying too hard on New Year’s Eve!”

Deana made a mental note of the theme, already getting ideas in her head.  She sipped her drink, and Danielle tapped her shoulder.  “We need to talk…”

“Ok, is this a sit at the table conversation or go to the bathroom conversation?”

“Bathroom…”

“Excuse us, babe, we’ll be right back…” Deana said, kissing Justin on the cheek.

They got into the bathroom, thankfully no one else was in there.

“Neil came up to me tonight and said Paul is in a program, he’s wanting to make amends with everyone and be friends.  I guess he’s afraid of Bruce that he hasn’t approached you yet.”

“That’s great that he’s getting help.”

“Neil wanted me to give Paul a chance, as far as listening to his amends, whenever it happens.”

“Yeah, if it’s part of the process.  I don’t have to trust him like I used to, but I don’t see the harm in hearing him out.  Why would he be afraid of Bruce, though?  He’s hot, not some big tatted up thug…”

“I dunno, but he is.  Well, at least you know to expect his amends and not push him away the second he approaches you.  Let’s get back out there so you don’t miss your turn.”

They went back to their table, Deana giving Justin another kiss on the cheek as she sat back down.  A few more singers had their turns before it was finally Deana’s turn.  

The DJ used his microphone to do the intro to the song.  “Little Miss Sunshine, hey Deana where you at?” he improvised before she could start.

“You have my heart, and we'll never be worlds apart.  Maybe in magazines, but you'll still be my star…”

Justin smiled, noting the irony of who she was singing to and the reversal of everything.  He knew he felt the same way, with the tour looming over him, he was determined to make things work with her.

She sat down after her turn, having more of her drink.  Her conversation with Danielle about Paul was in the back of her mind; she kept trying to push it completely out of her mind, focusing on Justin, Danielle, and the here and now.  His arm was around her chair, running his fingers along her arm.  She took her arm and bent in so her fingers entwined with his, smiled at him, and leaned her head on his shoulder.  I’m in a great relationship with a great guy, what more do I need? she thought to herself.

They sat through the full rotation, sipping their drinks, relaxed.  Her turn came up again.  The song was more fast paced, people started dancing along to the music.  Justin smiled, knowing that she had the crowd without even singing.

“I want you to love me, like I'm a hot ride.  Be thinkin' of me, doin' what you like.  So, boy, forget about the world, 'cause it's gon' be me and you tonight.  I wanna make you beg for it,then I'ma make you swallow your pride”

Justin perked up a bit, listening to the tone she sang with.  It was like she was only singing to him, her voice almost dripping with need.  Could this be it? he wondered. It’s only been a week, that’s much too soon for her to be ready, right?  I guess I’ll find out at her place…

The crowd in the bar was hyped, and the DJ stopped for a dance break before getting back into the rest of the rotation.  Deana was ready to go home, having finished her songs and having the early morning with Ms. S.  They bundled up, Justin sent a text, and they headed outside.  

Their car pulled up as they walked out.  “So he DOES go somewhere…” Deana thought out loud.   Justin smiled and silently chuckled to himself.  Dani texted J to pick her up at Deana’s, and they were off.  Justin opened the car door for the girls, tapping the hood of the car to thank their driver.  The girls waved goodbye as he drove off, then Justin opened the lobby door after Deana used her key to get in.  Dani said goodbye to them in the lobby as they headed up to her apartment.

She unlocked the door, flicked on the light, and sat down on the couch.  “So, we need to talk about something.  Paul is wanting to make amends, part of his sobriety program, but he’s afraid to approach me because of you.  Do you know why he would be afraid of you?  I mean, no offense, but you don’t seem the type that would hurt anyone…”

He sighed.  Paul approached me on 80’s night while you and Dani were out dancing.  He tried to intimidate me, that you couldn’t resist him.  All I did was make eye contact and stand up, and motion for him to leave.  I obviously couldn’t talk, and didn't do anything else to him.  Maybe it’s because I’m taller than him, better looking?  I’m sure he had some charm to do the things he’s done, he’s not exactly the best looking guy in the world.

“Yeah, I guess that tends to be my type, present company excluded.  More like that’s my type because that’s all I can get that are actually interested.  I’ve had crushes on great looking guys, but one thing or another about me puts me in the friend zone.”

Well, I will never friend zone you.  As for Paul, I hope he does reach out to you and make amends, but he still makes me nervous.  Sobriety might not get rid of his other tendencies…

“I get that worry, especially with going back to work eventually, but I’ll be fine.  The whole bar has my back after everything that went down.  Hell, even the DJ offered to rough him up at one point.”

HIM, I’d be afraid of… Can I kiss you now?

She nodded, and he pulled her close to him and kissed her.  She pulled away after a while.  “Do you want to just stay here on the couch, or go to the bedroom?”  Justin jerked his head to point towards the bedroom.

“Let me get more comfortable, I’ll be right back…” she said as she walked down the hall.

Justin’s head was going a mile a minute.  Is this really happening?  Is she ready, or is this just more flirting? I’m fine with whatever she wants to do.  I just need to remember to let her take control of all this, before I fuck things up by doing something she’s not ready for.

She opened the door to her room, standing in the doorway.  “You coming?” she asked.  A smile crept across his face, then his eyes widened when he saw what she was wearing.  She had the satin button up night shirt and shorts on, her hair messed up a little.  Oh, I’ll be cumming alright… he thought as he walked towards her.

“Same rules as last time?” she asked.  He nodded in agreement.  He’d hoped she was ready, but was also glad for any time he got with her. “Take advantage of what you want, within our rules…” she hummed, pulling him close.

They laid down on the bed, their mouths on each other, tongues dancing, hands roaming over each other’s bodies.  He rubbed her ear, pulling lightly on her earlobe, another hand massaging her breast.  Muffled hums of enjoyment echoed in their mouths.  Her hands running up and down his back under his shirt, grabbing hold at different times.  

He ran a hand down her leg, feeling her smooth skin.  He fought off the urge to run his finger up her inner thigh, close to where he wished he could touch.  When she’s ready, when she’s ready… he reminded himself. 

Just thinking of touching her nearly sent him over the edge. He pulled back, got off the bed and crossed to the dresser. His eyes widened when he saw the new box of condoms. She’s either almost ready, or just being prepared for nights like these, he thought to himself. He grabbed a condom and put it on before going back to her. 

She was ready, her legs open for him to fit between her. The friction between their bodies drove him crazy, she moaned at feeling him against her. He rocked against her, his teeth pulling at her earlobe and nipping at her neck, one hand playing with her nipple through the satin shirt. Her moans became louder at the different sensations she was feeling. 

He tried his best to control it, but it hit like a bolt of lightning when she moaned. She knew she hadn’t had one of her own, and was unsure of what to do. He continued to rock against her, hoping it would bring her release. 

“You ok?” she asked. He pointed to her, then mimed fireworks. 

“Oh, yeah. This is why I said not to worry about me, it’s not always going to time well.  The last time, yeah, and it was amazing, but just now, I was close but now the moment’s passed.”

Ugh. I don’t feel right with this. I know it’s not always like the movies and tv, but I still want that for you. 

“It’s fine…”

No, it’s not. Not for me. But I have no idea what to do about it because I want to respect your boundaries. I don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for...

Deana thought for a little. “I mean, we can try over clothes. I know I’m not ready for your skin against mine. Well, I AM, but it would go too far…”

Whatever you want. If you really want to just stop, then we’ll stop. But moving forward I want to know what to do if it happens again. 

“You’d really be ok with trying over clothes?” he nodded. She took his hand, touching his palm to her. She moaned at the initial friction, adjusting herself for better access. It felt almost foreign to either of them to do it this way, but Justin was more than willing to try if it kept her other boundaries fixed. His eyes were fixed on her, between gazing into her eyes to watching the rise and fall off her breasts as she breathed, her breathing more shallow and breathy. 

The more he watched her response to his touch, the more he found himself turned on again. He turned his body, grabbed her hand, and placed it over his bulge. He gave a look , brows cocked in question. 

“You’re ready for another go?  I kinda like where this is going.  Let me finish then we can give you another turn.”

He nodded. He grabbed his phone, typing one handed, flipping his phone to show her. 

Let me know if I need to change anything, do something different, I want you to enjoy this. 

She nodded, her breathing ragged gasps of air. “Just… keep… going,” she moaned. “It’s been… so… long…” Her eyes closed as she embraced what she was feeling. She moaned as she exhaled, her face contouring in pleasure. 

She took a huge gulp of air. “Forget… what I said… cum with me… hurry…”

He wasted no time with moving to grind against her, rocking back and forth. Her eyebrows furrowed, she bit her lip before moaning louder than he’d heard come out of her. “Yes, yes, fuck I’m close…” she groaned, getting louder and louder. Her eyes shut tight. “Oh...my...GOD!” she yelled in release, sending Justin over the edge. He collapsed on top of her, both gasping for breath. 

Justin went to go clean up as Deana caught her breath. Her mind was racing with thoughts along one single train, how amazing that all felt. She had been afraid to let him see that side of her, she wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe before if I did, she thought, that I wouldn’t be able to control myself?  She sat in thought waiting for Justin to come out. 

He soon opened the door, lay down next to her, giving her a gentle kiss on the lips. She looked deeply into his eyes. 

“I think I’m ready for more…”