It was Christmas Eve, and Justin’s family would be flying in in a matter of hours. Christmas Day with Mom and Paul, a couple days later with Dad, Lisa, and his brothers. 

He waited in a fairly stark room, waiting for his doctor to check on things. He knew it meant having the scope procedure, bracing himself for it. He saw it on the wall, seemingly looming over him and his whole future. 

There was a knock on the door before his doctor came in. They exchanged pleasantries before the doctor checked him out. During the procedure, he thought of Deana, doing his best to relax. 

The doctor removed the scope. “Well, it looks like everything is healing well. You can start with whispering just to get your vocal cords back in shape, and we’ll check again next week. It looks like you’ll be back out on the road soon.”

Justin wasn’t sure what to feel in that moment. 

“Why aren’t you more excited?” 

Justin cleared his throat. “I… I… met a girl,” he whispered, his voice raspy from lack of use. “She’s great, I’m just gonna miss her.”

“Well, maybe you could bring her along on tour…”

“No, it’s too early on for that. I’m glad I can talk to my family again though. Texting with my mom takes FOREVER.”

“Congratulations and best of luck with things. I’ll see you in a week to give the final clearance.”

He walked out of the office and headed home, the car ride quiet as he thought things over.  I should be happy right now. I am, in a way, I miss being on tour and I feel bad to all the fans I’ve let down these last 2 months.  But now there’s an official start date, I only have so many days left with Deana. I NEED to see her tomorrow, to give her her presents.  I’m sure Mom will understand just for a little. Especially when I’m honest with her on where I’m at with things.  She might be mad that I didn’t tell her earlier, but she’ll be happy I’m happy. I just wish I knew how to tell Deana I have to leave…

…

Deana was woken up by a loud banging on her door before it burst open. 

“It’s Christmas, Auntie!!” her nephews yelled as they ran into her room and jumped on her bed. “Santa came! Come and see!!”  She rubbed her eyes. 6AM. Payback’s a BITCH, she thought to herself. I remember when WE would wake everyone up before dawn on Christmas morning. 

The boys literally dragged everyone into the living room to open stockings, coffee and tea kettle getting ready. They tore through their stockings, seeing all the things they got. Deana’s mom got started on breakfast, Deana helped make the sauce for the eggs. 

Her phone buzzed. She smiled as she read the text.  Merry Christmas, babe. Hoping I can see you even for a little tonight. I got you something and can’t wait for you to open it. 

“Is that your boyfriend?” Jonathan teased. 

“Wait, she has a boyfriend?” their sister replied. 

“He’s not my boyfriend, but I am seeing someone.”

“Is it serious?” she asked. 

“Maybe? We’ve talked about long term stuff like marriage and kids..,”

“WHAT?! When? Why am I hearing about it NOW?!” Danielle screamed. 

All eyes were on Deana now, even the boys stopped playing with their toys. 

“I met him at karaoke…”

“Oh god, not another Paul…” his sister sighed. 

“No. He’s really great, actually. She’s been the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time,” Danielle said in Deana’s defense. Deana hugged Danielle. 

“When do we get to meet him?” they asked. 

“Not today. You’ll meet him before the wedding,” she teased. 

…

Justin woke up to the smell of coffee and cinnamon rolls in the oven. Even in MY house, Mom has to make Christmas breakfast. 

He walked into the kitchen and hugged Lynn. 

“Merry Christmas, honey,” she said. 

“Merry Christmas, Mama…” he whispered. 

“I’m glad you can talk, even if it’s just whispering.”

“Good, cuz I have some things I need to tell you. Stuff too important to text.”

“Is everything ok?” she asked. 

They sat on his couch, coffee in hand. “Before you yell at me, just know that I’m happy. Since I’ve been on vocal rest, I met someone. She’s amazing, I think you’d really like her. She’ll keep me grounded.”

“You met someone? That’s great, honey. Tell me about her.”

“Her name is Deana. I was out walking one night and heard her singing at a karaoke night. I was hooked and came back the next week, and we got to know each other.”

“She’s ok with you going back on the road?”

“Well, that’s the thing. She doesn’t know I’m me. I mean, she KNOWS me, we’ve talked about lots of different things, but not my real identity. She knows I’m in the entertainment industry, but that’s it. It’s actually refreshing, she’s not demanding this and that and using me for my celebrity to elevate her status.”

“When do you plan on telling her, honey? She deserves to know…”

“Well, I’m thinking of when I’m back here for my birthday. She’s a fan, so give her a great experience at the show. She doesn’t think she stands a chance with celebrity me, so I wanna try and show her she does.  It’s complicated, but I’m in love with her. We’ve talked about marriage and kids down the road.”

“Really? I know you were hurt pretty bad after everything with Jessica…”

“She’s got similar baggage, we’ve been able to bond over things. We’ve been able to help each other heal from things.”

“Do you have a picture?”

Justin looked through his phone. “Just to warn you, she’s not my usual type, but I think that might be a good thing. I think she’s absolutely beautiful, inside and out.”

She looked at the picture of Deana in her black dress. “She is… something.”

“I love her, mom. That should be all that matters.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You’re right. You really love her, honey?”

“I do. I didn’t think I could feel like this again, it’s amazing, more than I ever thought I could feel.”

The buzzer for the oven went off, and Lynn went to pull the cinnamon rolls out of the oven. “I’ll go get Paul, let him know breakfast is almost ready.”

Paul was his other dad, but hearing that name suddenly rubbed him the wrong way. It took everything in him not to flinch at the sound of his name. 

Lynn and Paul walked back in together. “Merry Christmas, Justin,” Paul said, giving him a hug. 

“Merry Christmas,” Justin whispered in reply. 

“So what’d I miss this morning?” Paul asked. 

“Justin’s met a girl. Says he’s in love. 

“That’s great, son.”

Lynn showed Paul the picture of Deana. 

“Well… she’s… she’s…”

“She’s beautiful, honey,” Lynn said, hugging Justin. “If you love her, I’m sure we will too.”

…

They spent the day with their families, Deana chasing the boys around with their new toys, Justin talking with his parents about Deana.  He wished he’d recorded some of her singing so they could hear her. 

It was around 7, and Deana got home, tired from a long day. The boys were too old for naps and wanted to play with her all day. Deana threw on her favorite Christmas album, and grabbed her phone. 

Hey, just got home if you are free to come by. 

I’ll be over in a bit. See you soon.   He grabbed a bag and a wrapped present. 

“I’m gonna go see Deana, exchange gifts with her. I won’t be long.”

“Take all the time you need, darling…”

He buzzed when he got to Deana’s, she buzzed him up. 

“Merry Christmas,” she greeted him with a hug and kiss. “Come in for a bit?”  He nodded. He stopped and listened to the music she had playing.

Of COURSE she has the *NSYNC Christmas album on right now… he thought, smiling to himself.  

She sat on the couch with a medium sized bag. “Here, for you…”

He took it, pulling out the tissue paper on the top. He smiled, pulling out a bright orange beanie. He put it on, folding the brim over. 

“You’re right, you CAN pull off prison orange . This better be the closest you get though…”

He pulled out the next piece, a long, dark charcoal gray scarf. He wrapped it around his neck. 

Is this the one you’ve been making lately? He texted her to rest his voice a bit. 

Deana nodded. “I figured you wouldn’t think it was for you if I made it while we were together.  Now even on the road you’ll have a little piece of me with you.”

He handed her the large wrapped rectangular present. She slowly peeled back the wrapping paper. 

“Babe, I love it.”  It was a picture frame with the picture of the Halloween night they met, their 80s night outfits, and a picture she’d never seen. 

“When did you take this one?”  She was asleep in the picture, he was kissing her cheek. 

I took it one morning. I have a copy of the same collage of pictures. I’m planning on talking it on the road with me. 

She opened the bag next, looking at the box. “Fragrance Shop New York…” she read. She opened the box. Inside was a bottle of perfume. The label read “Deana”. She took off the cap, spraying it into the air, slowly smelling it. “What is this?”

I got a custom fragrance made just for you. It’s lavender, lilacs, lily of the valley, and a touch of vanilla. Something soft, light, and sweet, like you. 

She kissed him. “This is wonderful. It’ll be my new favorite scent. I’ll wear it every day…”

Can I see it for a second?

She handed him the bottle. He took his scarf and sprayed over it. Now it’ll really be like you’re with me when I’m away. 

“Thank you, babe. These are so thoughtful.  Did you have a good Christmas with your family?”

He nodded.  I told my parents about you.  It took a little bit to get them to understand things…

“Because of my weight?” she sighed.

Because it’s only been two months and well, given how we feel about each other, they think it’s a bit fast.  They’re glad I’m happy, so that was the ultimate goal.

“My family knows too.  They’re already figuring out when to have you over for dinner.  Thankfully I told them about you going back to work and that gives us a bit of time.”

About that.  They confirmed we’re a go for the January 4th date.  I’ll need to be there a day or two before to set up, do a rehearsal.  Hopefully that gives us until the 2nd.  

Her heart sank.  He could see the change in her mood on her face, how her whole body shifted.  He hugged her close.

I know.  I felt the same way when they told me.  I’ve missed what I do, but this has been great, too.  At least now I’ll have something to come home to.  He kissed the top of her head.

“I won’t ask you to stay, I know you have family here for the holidays, but I’m glad I got to see you.”

Mom told me to take my time.  Oddly enough, in these last 2 months, I feel like that’s EXACTLY what we’ve been doing.  Everyone else thinks it’s too fast, but we JUST started being physical, not even the full experience.  We talk every day, about anything and everything.  I don’t think we rushed into anything.  

“Exactly.  I think we’re where we are now because of going slow.  And what we DO do together, is out of a mutual decision, respect, consideration for each other.  Something we both want, not just one of us doing for the other.  I’m gonna miss you SO much the next few months, but I know it’s not gonna hold us back.”

There’s so much I want to tell you right now, knowing we don’t have a lot of time together before I go back…

“Save it.  Keep it until we see each other again.   You said there’s an NYC stop a few weeks in, so we’ll have time then before the long stretch.  If we can handle that short stretch, the rest should be a breeze.”

I just want you to know how I feel, that there’s no regrets before I leave…

“I know how you feel, I feel it too.  It doesn’t have to be put into words, we still feel it.  It’s in how we talk to each other, when we hold each other, look into each other’s eyes, it’s always there in the little things.”

Perfectly said.  I’m sure you have work tomorrow?

“Yeah.  No school, so I’m opening.  My nephews ran me ragged today, so I’m exhausted.”

I’ll let you get to sleep then, but I’m glad I came by to give you your gifts.  Merry Christmas, Deana.

“Merry Christmas, babe.”  They hugged and kissed goodbye.  She quickly got into her pajamas and watched him walk off.  She put the picture frame on her night stand, so that every night and every morning she would have him beside her.