She woke up the next morning, and there was a text from Danielle.  I want ALL the details from last night…  Deana laughed to herself.  Not much to tell, not the way Dani wanted, anyway.  She’d text her later in the day.  She got dressed and ready to go to the school.  She’d decided to just wear an orange t-shirt with a jack o lantern face on it that she’d bought just in case she couldn’t find a costume.  It’s not MY class, so I shouldn’t be in costume.  I’m just there to help out, she thought.  She did a little extra eye makeup, pulling her hair in pigtails at the base of her neck, her hair staying behind her back.  

When she walked into the classroom, she could almost literally feel their excitement.  She read them a Halloween book, and they would do a costume parade for the parents before lunch.  

“I’m glad you were here this morning,” Ms. S. said.  “I know I have parents coming to get their lunch party ready, but it’s not someone to help read a book, keep them calm, and help with the parade.”

“I’m here as long as you need today, I’m sure it’ll be crazy,” Deana answered.

They did some songs, a couple Halloween themed color by number pages, and then it was time for the parade.  The parents left the room to get spots for the parade, others joining their husbands that were saving spots.  The main parent part of the parade would be in the cafeteria, the kids walking across the stage, then back to their classrooms.  Younger kids went first, walking past the big kid classrooms before going to the cafeteria.  Then they would switch, the older kids parading by the younger classrooms before going to the cafeteria.  Deana took up the end of their line, Ms. S. leading the way past the classrooms.  Deana helped keep the line moving so no one lagged behind.  She’d had similar memories when she was in first grade, though she couldn’t for the life of her remember what her costume was. 

They entered the cafeteria through a door towards the stage, going up a few stairs onto the stage.  This is where things got tricky.  Kids stopped to try and see their parents, or suddenly got scared at all the people watching.  Deana helped move them along, reminding the children their parents would meet them back at the classroom after the parade for their party.  That helped, and soon they were back in the classroom, waiting for parents.  Some had rushed back once they left the cafeteria so things would be ready when they got back.  Plates, napkins, and cups were on each desk, the counters and back table had food and snacks ready.  Once more parents arrived and took pictures, the kids were given permission to eat.  Parents served slices of pizza, passed out cookies and healthy snacks like fruit or string cheese sticks.  

“Grab a plate, Miss Deana, there’s enough for you and Ms. S. too,” one of the parents offered.  There was something special on the counter, drinks from Starbucks for both of them.  “We figured you’d need a little pick me up to get through the day,” they laughed.  This meant Deana wouldn’t need to go past her work on the way home, giving her a little more time to herself before doing schoolwork.    

“Deana, get some food and then you can go. Between the parents and the 5th graders coming in later, we’ll be good. Thank you for staying and helping with the parade.”

Deana smiled, got a plate of food, her Starbucks drink, and headed home. The parents had stapled another plate on top so nothing would fall out, and there were plastic bags from the party supplies that she could carry it home easier. 

Her phone buzzed. Figuring it was Dani asking about last night, she left it until she got home. She pulled out her phone and saw it wasn’t from Dani, it was Bruce Wayne. 

Hi. How’s your day going? I was gonna grab some lunch, I could bring something to your place. 

Was this a move? she wondered to herself. No, Deana, stop assuming any little thing is a sign of even the slightest affection. 

It’s been a little hectic. Was at the school today and helped with Halloween stuff. They sent me home with food, but I could have it for dinner I guess. You can come drop it off, not comfortable with having anyone in my place. I’ll explain later, I promise. 

That’s fine.  Do you like Chinese? he asked. 

Um, I LIVE in Chinatown, I better have some appreciation for it. Though that’s not why I picked this location. Another conversation for another time. Wednesdays are my school stuff day, or at least they were. I’m picking up Wednesday shifts starting next week. 

Whenever you wanna talk, I’m here. He meant it, he had plenty of time at this point. I’ll be over with food soon. 

Ring three times, I’ll buzz you in. I’m in 302. 

Justin smiled to himself. At least I get to come up to her apartment door. A step in the right direction, he thought. He put on sunglasses, a light hoodie, and a baseball hat. After last night I know she’s a fan. As much as I like her, I need to hide it’s me for a bit too know she likes me for me. 

He headed out the door and down to his new favorite little hole in the wall restaurant. He picked up some hot and sour soup for himself, along with sweet and sour pork, broccoli beef, and lemon chicken for Deana. He ordered some potstickers and a small box of rice. 

He approached her building, having put her address in his phone the night before. He buzzed three times, and she buzzed to let him up. He climbed the stairs, suddenly aware of what made her legs pop. 

He knocked on her door, a slight smile on his face to avoid being too obvious with a big grin. 

Her eyes lit up as she opened the door, a smile spread across her face. “Thank you so much for offering to bring me food, I was prepped to eat pizza and cookies as my lunch until you sent that text.  Ooh, did you get the hot and sour soup? I LOVE that stuff when I’m not feeling well. You want a quick tour?”  

He nodded, and stepped inside as she moved away from the doorway. “Pretty basic, nothing fancy.  Living room/study, kitchen over here, down the hall is the guest bath, Dani’s room is the first door on the right, my room with bathroom is at the end.   Dani just crashes here from time to time now if my brother’s working or we’ve been hanging out.  They’ve been dating like 6 months or so, still getting used to it.”

He nodded his head, glad for any time spent with her. 

She sighed. “Come sit, I need to explain some things.”  They sat on her couch, room in between them in the middle. “I’m trying to set boundaries. I know, so far I’m doing a terrible job. The last time I brought a guy up to just hang out, we started making out and next thing I know I’m naked and crying after losing my virginity.”  Her eyes went wide at the realization of what all she’d just shared with him.  “Wow, that was a lot to tell someone I just met last night. I’m sorry.”

He pulled out his phone. It’s ok. I’m here to listen if it helps to talk about it.  

“If you’re sure.”  He nodded. “I didn’t plan on it happening. We’d been hanging out at karaoke, we’d make out and stuff at his place. He kept pushing me to go farther than I felt comfortable, and I’d been firm with it. Something about it being here, knowing Dani was gone for the weekend, he kept pushing until I gave in. I felt terrible after, that I’d let myself down. I hadn’t even slept with my ex fiancé, and I go and sleep with him. We tried to keep things casual, just sex, once I stopped feeling guilty, but you know how that works out. Turned out he was great about keeping it casual, he was sleeping with at least 4 other women.”

Justin’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Wow” he mouthed silently. I’m so sorry. Yeah, I’d be nervous on having a guy up here, too. I imagine there’s a bit of trauma with that. If you didn’t fully want it, that’s rape. Deana, I’m so sorry. 

“Yeah, I tried to make it work way longer than I should’ve. I kept seeing texts from other girls, pictures they’d send, one time actually coming into his place while he was with someone else.  He had me convinced that it was better than being single, he made me feel beautiful and sexy, manipulating me to get what he wanted. I bought his booze, cigarettes, while he crashed on friends’ couches.”

You deserved SO much better, you know that, right? You still do. 

“I know. I knew then, but being with someone was better than being alone.”

Justin exhaled deeply. I know the feeling. But don’t waste your time and your heart on someone that doesn’t deserve it. 

“I’d been single for 3 years before things happened with Paul. My fiancé broke my heart, I never thought I’d feel anything like that again. It was so lonely, so once I had something close to a relationship, I went with it. Fat lot of good it did me.”

They’re both idiots for hurting you like that. 

“You sound like Danielle,” Deana laughed. 

I’ll take that as a compliment. 

“The highest,” she replied. 

I’m glad you were so open with me. You could have been very closed off about it, giving me very little beyond a bad relationship. I’m glad you feel you can trust me. I’m ok with helping you keep that boundary. 

“Thank you,” she said. 

But Deana, when you DO find the right person, tell him like you told me. Hopefully someday you’ll find someone you feel comfortable letting inside. I’ll let you get to things, thank you for today. 

“Thank YOU for listening. Most guys would get scared away…”

I’m not most guys.  Talk to you soon. 

She stood up, Justin following her to the door. He was surprised to find her hugging him tightly, her head nestled into his chest, arms around him and her hands firmly on his back. It wasn’t a romantic type of hug, he could tell. He knew she wanted to cry. He patted her back, gently rubbing in circles. He lowered his head to touch the top of her head with his chin, holding her until she was ready to let go. 

He didn’t know how long he held her, nor did he care. He knew she needed him in this moment, that she was being so vulnerable with him. Not because of who he was, but merely because he cared and listened. Not WHO he was, but who he WAS, on the inside. He knew he had to continue hiding his true self a while more to fully gain her trust, not seem like he was taking advantage or using his celebrity for something. 

“Thank you,” she cried, her voice muffled as she continued to hold him. She slowly pulled back, wiping stray tears from her face. “I’ll talk to you soon.”  He nodded, she slowly opened the door, he stepped out into the hall, and she gently closed the door as he walked away. 

She leaned against the closed door, finally letting the stream of tears flow from her. She knew he would’ve let her cry if she wanted, but she still had walls up and wanted to appear stronger than she felt. 

She hadn’t talked about Paul with anyone but Danielle, certainly not any guy.  She collected herself before taking out her phone. She reread the texts he’d sent. How she wished she could hear his voice, know what he sounded like. They were the perfect opposites. He heard her before seeing her. She saw him, at least parts of his face, but still hasn’t heard his voice. Was it deep, the kind that rumbles in his chest? Was it soft?  Was it more high pitched? She thought to a man she’d gone on a couple dates with, his voice reminded her of Mickey Mouse on helium, and how she’d felt put off by his high voice and hair longer than hers. She didn’t think that was this man, but could only imagine until she heard him speak. 

She ate the food he brought over before it was cold.  It seemed to taste different, better than she remembered it.  Was it just the food, or was it because HE brought it for her?  She called Danielle. “Hey, sorry I didn’t answer you earlier, it’s been crazy. You might wanna come over, I have a LOT to tell you.”