Deana got a little reading done before she heard Danielle lay on the buzzer before coming in.  Danielle ran up the stairs, throwing the door open and panting “Tell...me... EVERYTHING!!!”

They sat on the couch, and Deana started at the beginning.  How he bought her drinks after each time she sang, how he heard her voice the week prior and had to come back to see what she looked like.  How he walked her home, how they had a lingering hug at the front door.

“Then, today…” Deana started.

“Wait, he spent the night?  Go D!”

“No.  He went home.  I told him I wasn’t like that, not even to talk. He was really great about it, actually.  I was on my way home for Ms. S. when he texted asking if I wanted lunch.  I said he could drop it off so I could study.  That CLEARLY isn’t happening, at least not for today.  He buzzed, I let him come up.  At first, it was just to drop off.  Once I saw him at the door, I knew I needed to tell him about Paul.  Why I can’t have him up here alone, not even to talk.  Well, beyond today.”

“And??” she asked excitedly.

“It was like I was talking to you.  I told him everything.  How he took advantage of me, guilted me into sleeping with him, then how I thought sleeping with someone like Paul was better than being alone.  He told me I deserve better.  Here, look at the texts he sent me as we talked.”  She handed Danielle her phone.  

Danielle’s eyes widened, yet softened, reading what he wrote.  “Damn right it’s the highest compliment that he sounds like your best friend,” she laughed.  “Wow, I can’t believe you told him all of that.  He seemed to handle it ok based on the texts.”

“I went to let him out, and I hugged him.  It was meant to start off as a hug, but once I wrapped my arms around him, I felt so safe, Dani.  He held me for I don’t even know how long.  Rubbing my back, just letting me hold him.  I fought so hard not to cry, but I know he would’ve been ok if I had.  Then he left.”

“OK, let me get this straight.  He says all these romantic things to you, walks you home last night, brings you lunch today, holds you after you spill your emotional baggage on him, and he didn’t kiss you?”  Deana nodded.  “He’s gay.”

“Dani, you don’t mean that, that’s terrible to assume.”

“I know, but I’m sure if this was a movie, the two stars would’ve kissed in that moment.”

“Maybe, but this isn’t a movie.  Not kissing me doesn’t make him gay.  We both know that.  I mean, look at me, who would want to kiss me?”  Dani sighed and gave her a look.  “Sorry,” Deana interjected.  “I wasn’t gonna make a move after explaining everything.  What if he just likes my singing voice?  I mean, he IS in the business, he could just have a respect for my voice.  I don’t want to assume anything romantic is between us and get shot down again.  Did I want him to kiss me after the things he said?  Yeah, I did.  Did I wish he kissed me, even a little, as he held me?  Yeah.  But I’m waiting for him to make the first move so I don’t embarrass myself with another awkward conversation of me professing my feelings for someone and getting friend zoned.  Not after spilling my emotional baggage, as you so eloquently put it.  I’ll be his friend until he decides there’s something there.”

“Are you gonna wait another three years like you did with Brian?  You had to give up your feelings for him after 3 years because he kept shooting you down.  Then he finally realizes how much you meant to him, only to toy with your emotions for a year.”

“Hey now, he was no Paul.  I was his first girlfriend, he didn’t know what he was doing, how feelings changed, how to balance things.  We only broke up and got back together once, and there was a bit in between that.  Did I think we’d be together longer the second time around? Yeah.  Was I heartbroken when he broke up with me? Yeah.  Then I met Morgan a few months later.  We know how THAT turned out.  But none of them were as bad as Paul.”

“I just don’t want you waiting around if he’s never gonna make a move, D.”

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours, Dani, give the guy some time.  I don’t mind waiting if it’s gonna be worth the wait.  It’s what I should’ve done with Paul.  He wouldn’t have stuck around if I hadn’t jumped into anything with him.”

“I dunno, I think he’d try to groom you to want or need him that it would’ve happened anyway.  The guy’s a sociopath.  He makes Barney Stinson look like a decent guy.  I just want you to find someone.”

“I will, eventually.  We just have to let things happen.  Rushing into things isn’t going to do any good, especially if he doesn’t feel the same way.”

Her phone buzzed.  “I still can’t believe you put him in as Bruce Wayne,” Dani laughed.

“Well, what else was I supposed to put?  ‘Batman’, or ‘guy from karaoke’?  He never gave me his name.”

“Did you ever ask?”

“Now that I think of it, no.”

“Well, what did he say?  I’m sure it’s him.”

It was.  Just letting you know I’m home.  Thank you for today.  It helped me understand your boundaries, and let you get everything out. Talk to you soon. 

“D, you HAVE to ask for his name.”

Thank you again for listening and understanding. What’s your actual name so I can update your contact info?

Justin was unsure how to answer. He had to act quickly so she didn’t suspect anything. Bruce. That’s why I went as Batman, my friends call me Bruce Wayne as a nickname and I ran with it. 

Alright Bruce, I need to hit the books. Lunch was delicious, I hope we can do it again soon.

“Well, Bruce, if that’s his real name, seems like a great guy. All those sweet words, nice gestures, and all without taking advantage of you. I hope he likes you.”

“Me too. If not, at least I have a good guy friend again.”

…

Justin sat on the couch, thinking of the last 24 hours. Today was NOT what I expected, he thought to himself. I was just expecting to drop off food, say hi, and be on my way. I knew she had that boundary already up, and for good reason. I hope I’m back on tour before Paul shows his face again, or I’m gonna punch him in his stupid face. I know I haven’t been a saint, but Jesus. It felt nice to hold her like that, just to be the comfort she needed. I’m getting to really connect with her, and not rush into things. Did I want to kiss her at certain points? Yeah. If I’m gonna do this, she needs time. She’s definitely worth the wait. 

…

Danielle left so Deana could study and get some work done. She’d done the reading for the week, working on her weekly assignment before tackling part of her final. It was her last school year, one more semester in the spring until graduation. Her biggest assignment was her senior thesis. 

Thankfully the weekly assignment was short, and she just needed to post a response to the teacher’s post based on the lecture for the week. 

She started working on her thesis, and after about an hour, hit a wall. Her brain hurt from the research she was doing, and felt like she was just writing in circles. She decided to take a break and eat the food from the Halloween party at the school. 

She stared at her phone, and found herself thinking about him. Taking a break from my paper, you free to talk?

For you? Definitely. He had replied sooner that she expected, but it also wasn’t immediate enough to make her curious. 

Well, I shared my big emotional baggage, anything you want to share?  LOL

Justin sighed. He hadn’t really talked about things with Jess with anyone except Trace and the guys. He’d mostly dealt with it on his own, which meant not really. Sure. 

She wasn’t expecting that as a response, but waited as he typed. 

I’ve been cheated on, a couple times. One was just a huge stab in the back cuz it was with a friend of mine. Well, someone I THOUGHT was a friend. I haven’t always been a saint, but I’ve learned and grown. More recently, I was with this great woman, we made each other happy, but I ended it. I realized I’d made a huge mistake, and she was done. I even told her I wanted marriage, kids, all of it, and nope. It’s been over a year since I’ve really been with anyone, longer if we’re talking anything SERIOUS. 

Do you see yourself doing marriage, kids, with anyone else? she asked hopefully. 

He smiled, struggling not to chuckle to himself. If I meet the right person, absolutely. 

Would you say you have a type?

Confident. They’ve all varied in height, hair color, eye color, whatever. They’ve all happened to be in the business, I’d meet them at functions or work with them on something and fall head over heels. Once I fall for someone, it’s pretty complete, I’m in. 

Her heart sank. Were all his sweet words just that? She’d said she was ok with having a new guy friend, but it hurt just the same as if she’d shared her feelings for him. I tend to be the same way. Which is why Paul was so dangerous. 

Does she just see me as a friend? he wondered. 

Why the Lady Gaga songs last night? I’m always curious about people’s choice of songs for karaoke. 

They’re fun, keeps the crowd going. The first one hit home cuz I was bullied as a kid, most of my school years into high school. Middle school was brutal. It still hurts to think about, but I’m starting to feel comfortable with myself. The others were more just fun. Poker face was admittedly to vent about an ex. 

Ooh, I sense something juicy here. 

So I’ve only had sex with one guy, but I’d fooled around with other guys after high school. One guy was 4 years older than me, and everything was all about him, including in that department. He’d never been with anyone like that either, but once he got off, he couldn’t be bothered with me. I tend to stay with guys longer than I should because I feel like it’s better than being alone. That’s what I’m working on right now, these last few months. To help deal with pent up anger and frustration with my dating life, I sing songs that let me take shots at them without actually having to confront them. It’s kinda my musical wheelhouse, sing what I’m feeling. 

I get that. That’s what most music is, something someone felt about something they went through. It’s very cathartic, even if no one else ever hears it. 

So you write songs? she asked curiously. 

I wear a lot of different hats. You kinda have to in order to stay on people’s radar in this business. I do a little bit of everything. 

Sounds fun, changing up what you’re working on, who you work with. 

Yeah, but it doesn’t really change the world the way teachers do. 

She smiled. I get that a lot. Music is very powerful though, can hurt or heal. I’d say that’s pretty important too. I’m still riding the adrenaline high from the Justin Timberlake concert last week. I had tickets for the other show last week, but it got pushed back to his birthday. 

Yeah, I heard about that. He’s pretty devastated that he had to postpone, along with being in complete vocal rest. It’s hitting him pretty hard. 

Wait, you KNOW him??

Lol. Yeah, you could say that. He’d be happy to know you’re still thinking about that show even a week later.  Where were your seats?

For the one I got to go to, we were on the floor. Not VIP so we weren’t right up against the stage, but it was amazing. The closest I’ve ever gotten to him. 

Justin smirked. If you only knew, he thought. And for the now birthday show?

200 something, the upper seats. Not the nosebleeds but nowhere NEAR where I was last time. It’s my dream to get a selfie or a hand grab. I was by one girl that got her hand grabbed, it looked like her was staring right into her soul. I think I might die if that ever happens. 

I’d hope not, for my sake. I’ll see what I can do to get you closer. 

You don’t have to do that…

I want to. If it means that much to you, I have to at least try. 

Thank you. I know it’s months away still, but looking forward to it. It’s a hell of a show. 

I’ll tell him you said that. Do you need to get back to your schoolwork?

NEED to? Yes. WANT to? No. 

Heh. I don’t miss school, I’ll be honest. 

I just want to be able to say I finished. Then it’s on to get my credential, or at least teach at a  private school, but they never pay as well as public, which isn’t saying much. I took a long time off in between, it was my choice. 

What happened?

After my grandpa died, we’d check in on my grandma from time to time. Eventually she needed more regular care. Taking her to doctor visits, being home in case she fell, help with different things. I dropped out of college to be her nurse. Which is ironic since my brother is a doctor, like full medical training. She died about a year ago, he moved back before she passed, to say goodbye. 

I’m so sorry. I know that feeling, I lost my grandma too. This summer. I think my biggest regret is that I want there more. And that anything big in my life that happens now, happens without her. When I get married, have kids, she won’t be there. 

My older sister got married 12 years ago, and when the pictures come up on my Facebook memories, all I can think of is how I’ll never get the pictures that she got to have. The best I’ll get is wearing her fake pearls. My sister has the memories, and a badass story to tell before the wedding. 

I’ll bite. What happened?

She had gone to the beauty parlor, as she called it, and got her hair done a few days before the wedding. She didn’t think they used enough hairspray, so she added more. In the process, she lost her balance. She grabbed the towel rack behind her, then overcorrected, face first through her glass shower door. There was blood everywhere, and instead of calling 911, she called my cell phone while I was at work. My mom found her and called 911.  My grandma didn’t want to call and have them break down the front door. She put on lipstick so she’d look good for the paramedics, and went on and on about how excited she was for her granddaughter’s wedding. When I finally got to the hospital they asked if I was the one getting married. I kept having to tell different staff that it was my sister, not me. She had a big gash on her cheek, so to hide it in pictures, we had to pose her facing a certain way. In some shots it looks like she’s not even paying attention…

Wow, that’s a hell of a story. 

The part that gets me is she kept telling me, throughout my life, that I was her favorite. And yet she’ll miss all these major milestones with me. There are times I feel her, but it’s not the same, you know?

Totally. You know, though, that she’d be proud of you for doing what you’re doing. Finishing school and doing what makes you happy. That’s what I carry with me, that mine loved how I found something I loved and went with it.  That’s enough for me, some days. 

Yeah.  I remember feeling so disappointed that things with me and my ex didn’t work out so she could see me get married.  It’s hard to come back from being told in 2 years together, they don’t think they actually loved you, though, so…

I get that.  Not using those words, but I felt the same with my ex when my grandmother passed.  She helped raise me, so to not have her around for when it does happen, it sucks.

Thanks for asking about all of this.  It helps to talk about it to someone that isn’t family, but still understands.  I feel like any time I bring her up, I’m the only one who cares she’s gone.

Talking helps me, too.  Cheaper than going to therapy, and not just one sided, doing all the talking.  

I’ve been told I’m a VERY good listener.  Well, Bruce, I should probably get back to working on my paper.  It was great talking to you.  I have work early tomorrow, but I can text on my break or lunch, whenever.

I’ll be around.

Deana’s pizza had gone cold, she pushed it aside, opting for something else on her plate.  She stared at her laptop, still no closer to what to write.  I certainly feel closer to Bruce, though, she thought.  It was nice to share those things with someone.  He opened up to me, too.  I hope I get to know more about him.  See how long he sticks around.  I know he said his thing is on a break, so we’ll see how much time I get with him before he has to leave.

…

Justin sat on his couch, flipping through channels mindlessly.  I just finished talking to her, and I miss her.  Am I doing it again, falling completely head over heels?  Is it because she’s opened up to me not once, but TWICE in one day?  It felt good to open up to her.  I could have given more details with Jess, but it might have compromised my identity.  Just saying I’ve met them all through the business was better than saying I’ve basically only dated celebrities.  That would freak her out that someone like me would like someone like her.  I really am just a normal guy, and what I’m doing, hiding that part of myself, lets me really feel normal.  I’m not having to impress her with all this stuff, and who I know.  She thinks I know one person, not that I AM that same person.  I want to try and keep this a secret until after my birthday show, that way she thinks he’s doing her a favor, giving her this great experience.  It’s gonna be some doing, but with any luck I can pull it off.  Maybe text her more than going out to see her, so I’m not having to hide myself too often.  Thankfully she doesn’t live around where I do, so it’s not like we’ll run into each other all that often.  The bar for karaoke is kinda in the middle, and I’m there to see her.  That gives her some space to respect her boundaries, and doesn’t put me at risk of blowing my cover, or having photographers do it for me.