“Justin God Damned Randall Mother Fucking Timberlake!!!”

JC was wheezing with laughter as Colleen opened the birthday present Justin had dropped off for her. He kept trying to say something but the unamused look on Colleen’s face inevitably set him off once more.

“You think this is funny?” she said to JC, her tone belying her supposed anger. “Pop star murdered by bandmate’s girlfriend, film at 11. If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear he left town this weekend just to avoid me kicking his ass.”

“Do I even want to know what the card says?” JC finally managed to get out.

Colleen sarcastically read the card out loud. “Colleen, I thought the Kitty deserved some new toys. Enjoy - J.” JC broke into a fit of laughter once more. “A ball of yarn, JC! The man bought me a ball of yarn!” JC was crying with laughter as Colleen chucked it at him. “You know what’s even worse? His poor assistant who had to purchase this! He did not go to JoAnn Fabrics himself to pick this up.”

“I think this is his way of apologizing,” JC said, wiping away his tears. “Dare we open the other one?”

“Well, he’s terrible at apologizing. No wonder...” Colleen stopped herself. Even though Justin wasn’t there to hear it, she didn’t want to speak ill of the apparent marital problems he was having. She was almost feeling sympathetic as she tore open the wrapping paper but that dissipated quickly as she sighed, holding the box up for JC to see.

JC started laughing again as he went to exam the box. “Ok, but Babe, these are actually nice and definitely would be useful.”

“Cat ear headphones,” Colleen shook her head.

“Yeah but they’re wireless and, ohhhh, they light up!”

“Did he call in a favor to the Josie and the Pussycats Prop Master?”

“I remember that movie. Didn’t they put, like, subliminal messaging through the headphones?”

“I hope you remember that movie, you dated one of the lead actresses and yes, they did,” Colleen replied, wriggling her eyebrows with a grin. She pulled the headphones out of the box and put them on, then retrieved the thrown ball of yarn and pulled out her cell phone. She posed for a selfie, her face displaying annoyance as she held the ball in her hand, her middle finger prominently displayed on the outer edge. “Shit” she said, pulling up Instagram and then abruptly closing it, opening her messaging app instead. “Can you send that to Justin please?”

“Sure,” JC said as he got the picture. “Why’d you say shit?”

“No big deal but believe it or not, I sometimes have to remember the whole public aspect of putting something like that on Instagram now. I normally would have thought nothing about it before but now it’s just a no go.”

“It’s actually a cute picture. No ones going to get the meaning behind it so it’s fine if you want to.”

“Nah, it’ll get instantly associated with you and I don’t want to do that to you.”

“And I don’t want you feeling like you can’t share something that you want to.” JC pulled up his camera app. “Do another one, no middle finger this time,” JC told her. She recreated the previous pose, this time with a smile. “There,” JC smiled, satisfied as he messaged her the picture. “Perfectly good for public consumption. Just, maybe don’t tag Justin in it,” JC cautioned.

“If the man wasn’t ridiculously famous, I’d publicly shame him in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah, enough people do that to him already. Probably best not to pile on.”

“But this time he’d actually deserve it,” Colleen chuckled. “I still can’t believe you didn’t beat the hell out of him.”

“The whole thing was partially my fault as it was and he was…I mean, shit’s not good with him and Jess. I’m just trying to have a bit of empathy.”

“Hard lesson learned, I suppose. Can’t spend the whole weekend playing around.”

“Sure we can,” JC reassured her, “I just need to not open the door to anyone.” JC pulled her close and smiled down at her. “You really do make a cute Kitty.”

“I’m not crawling around on the floor,” Colleen stated matter of factly.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” JC smiled and kissed her.

“Though…” Colleen said as she broke the kiss, thinking of something. “I believe my JC Chasez mental fact sheet reminds me that you had a crush on Michelle Pfeiffer and knowing my boyfriend the way that I do, I will bet it’s specifically because of her role as Catwoman.”

“You truly know me too well,” JC grinned.

“Well, perhaps I’ve been a tad neglectful as of late,” Colleen spoke seductively, running a finger over JC’s chest. “How much time do we have before we have to be at Lance’s?”

JC gulped. “A little less than two hours,” he informed her. He certainly didn’t feel neglected but his cock was instantly alert at the change in Colleen’s attitude.

“Good,” Colleen grinned and pressed down on JC’s shoulder as she recited a line from Batman Returns that she happened to remember. “It’s the so called normal guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.” She smirked down at JC on his knees in front of her and tapped his nose playfully.

JC practically salivated as he watched his girlfriend effortlessly embody his teenage crush. It was literally frightening sometimes how well she knew him, despite his ardent protests previously that she didn’t. He was beginning to regret not buying her a leather catsuit for her birthday but he could always buy her one for his.

“Come on, I want to get there a bit early,” Colleen yelled back to JC as she jogged down the steps over an hour later. “I can’t have Matthew at Lance and Michael’s house unsupervised.”

“Michael already hid all the good silverware,” JC joked as he trotted down after her, pulling his t-shirt back into place. 

“Lance is being nice enough to not only host but invite my friends. You remember how brunch went or have you mentally blocked it out?”

“Well, not to scoff at Lance’s generosity but he was already having people over today, it just turned into a birthday party once I mentioned yours was coming up.”

“Way to make me feel special,” Colleen teased as she headed out the door. “Still, he didn’t have to.”

“No, he didn’t but the idea of getting Joey and Matthew in the same place was too good for anyone to pass up,” JC laughed as he locked up and went for his Rubicon.

JC flipped through stations as they drove and Colleen caught up on social media. “Awww, look at these two!” she said, showing JC a picture as he stopped at an intersection. JC smiled at the picture Chris had posted of him and Justin each holding a golf club out and crossed over each other. Of course, neither man was shown, just their gloved hands but obviously JC knew.

“What’s the caption say?” he asked as he turned away to start driving again.

“Course #1 done. Thanks @CongressionalCC for letting my boy and I get in a round #BrosWeekend.” Colleen recited. “People are already speculating in the comments he’s with Justin,” she laughed.

“That’s exactly why I keep my business off social media. Everyone is always micro-analyzing it. You, however, should still put that picture up. I don’t like the idea of you feeling like you can’t do something because of me.”

Colleen sighed. “Here’s the dilemma: Anything I post is going to have you associated with it from now on. I’ve been sticking to strictly work things as of late and I still get comments about you. I don’t mind, no one is rude, just…you don’t like your life out there and I respect that. At the same time, I have absolutely been on the other side of it, looking at your at the time current girlfriend’s posts and going “Bitch, just give me something!”.”

“So you were stalking my ex’s social media to find out dirt on me?” JC raised an eyebrow and smiled.

“Stalking is a harsh word. Would happen to glance at every so often? Yeah, accurate.”

“How often is every so often?”

“I mean, barely at all. Once a day, maybe?” Colleen stated innocently.

JC let out a loud laugh. “Am I living one of those Lifetime TV movies where the person inadvertently falls in love with their stalker? I’m now concerned I have Stockholm Syndrome.”

“No but tell Autumn that should be her next movie project,” Colleen countered. “Honestly, JC, you do know you’ll have to get back on social media a bit more once the album comes out.”

“I mean, I don’t have to but I get what you mean,” JC mulled over. “It’s not the putting stuff out there that I mind, it’s the response. It’s always “Please do a reunion” or “Do some solo stuff” or “Say hi to me, it’s my birthday.” I mean, all really nice in theory but if you respond to one person, other people get mad. If you don’t respond at all, people get mad. It just got too exhausting.”

“Stop worrying about what other people think and just live your life. Share or don’t, that’s your decision, but don’t let the feedback be the concern. You wouldn’t be posting pictures of you going down on me from earlier, it would be all innocent stuff.”

“You wish there were pictures of that,” JC smirked.

“Damn right I do!”

“Alright, I’ll think about it but you should also take your own advice,” JC offered. Colleen shot him a defiant look and went back to her phone. After a few moments, Colleen smiled and waited for JC to stop the car at a traffic light before showing him her phone. JC grabbed it to see the picture he had taken earlier posted to Instagram with the caption “SOMEONE needs to remember that this kitty still has claws” along with a cat face emoji and a ball of yarn emoji. “They really do have images for everything, don’t they?” JC laughed and handed the phone back.

“Your move, Chasez,” Colleen challenged with a smile. 

“I said I’d think about it,” he countered with a laugh. “You know, normally I wouldn’t encourage you to remember my friends are famous but maybe take a little bit of your anger at Justin and think about the fact that you now have an inside joke with Justin Timberlake…and he saw you naked.”

“Huh?” Colleen thought, realizing this for the first time. “Fine, murder is off the table but castration is still a valid option.”

“Pretty sure Jess already took care of that,” JC slyly stated.

“Damn…burn!” Colleen laughed loudly.

The duo pulled up to Lance’s gate and buzzed to be let in. JC parked the car and as he got out, felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

JT: Oh, I made the Kitty angry hahaha

JC: You’ve made your point and it was funny but now stop calling her that, it’s creepy. How’s the golf trip?

JT: Chris’s shooting for shit so it’s going great!

JC: How’s everything else?

JT: She found a marriage counselor, we start going next week. She wants me to go solo as well to “identify some issues” and I agreed so I’ll start looking when I get back. Weekend away has been much needed.

JC: Glad you two are committed to working on it. Just pulled up to Lance’s, chat ya later.

The couple walked up to Lance’s front door, which flung open to reveal Joey with a drink in hand. “About fucking time!” he shouted. He ran out onto the stoop, shoved JC playfully out of the way, and scooped Colleen up into a huge hug.

“Thanks Joe. Haven’t seen you in a year but…” JC teased him.

“Yeah, and you’re an asshole for it,” Joey replied, not letting go of Colleen. “Pictures do not do you justice, girl.”

“Jesus, can everyone stop hitting on my girlfriend?” JC jokingly whined. “I swear, Chris is never coming within a hundred feet of her. At least I don’t have to worry about Lance.”

“Hey, I’m gay, not blind,” Lance chuckled as he appeared in the doorway.

“Hold on,” Joey said, lifting up Colleen enough to turn her around so he was now facing Lance, making her squeal with laughter. “Here, take the back end, it’ll feel more natural to you.”

Colleen was cracking up as she felt Lance hug her from behind. “This is the best, most awkward, greeting ever,” she laughed.

JC quickly took a few snapshots of the three of them. “So what’s a Joey/Lance sandwich called?” JC asked her.

“A Basstone sandwich!” she laughed.

“I thought we were JoLa?” Lance asked as he let go from the hug.

“What in the what now?” Joey asked, pulling back as well. The other three laughed, clearly not going to let Joey in on the joke. Lance led them all into the house. Joey wrapped his arm around Colleen and walked her in. “What can I get you to drink, girlie?”

“Do I need to pee on her to remind you all she’s MY girlfriend?” JC trailed behind.

“Hey! I don’t need to know about the weird sex you two have!” Joey protested then turned to Colleen. “Yes I do. Have you made him crawl around on all fours yet?” he asked excitedly.

“I told you we should have taken pictures earlier,” Colleen shouted across to JC. Joey’s mouth fell open as he looked between each one of them. “Actually, Joey. This is a good time to remind you my friends don’t know anything about that so, please don’t say anything. If you keep quiet, I promise I’ll tell you something juicy later,” she teased.

Joey raised his eyebrow at Colleen and smiled. “Deal,” he said, downing the rest of his nearly empty Jack & Coke. “Guess no more of those for at least an hour.” Joey finally went over and gave JC a tight hug. “Good to see you man, I mean it.”

“Good to see you too, Joe,” JC smiled, patting Joey’s back. The trio walked out to the patio and greeted Michael and Colleen was introduced to their friends, some she knew just from being a fan, like Jess and Lisa, and others that were unknown. 

Sara texted when she, Kyle and Matthew arrived and Colleen went out front with Lance to greet them. “Your Tik Tok doesn’t do this place justice,” Sara yelled over to Lance as she gave Colleen a hug.

“Aw, shucks,” Lance said, shuffling his foot as though he was embarrassed. He greeted the three and led them into the backyard and started making the same introductions he had done with Colleen earlier. They were much more prepared this time to meet Lance and JC and some of their well known friends. Well, that was until Matthew finally got to meet Joey.

Lance once again made the introductions. “Joey, these are Colleen’s friends: Sara, Ky…”

“Yeah, no one cares about them,” Matthew said, pushing the ladies out of the way and standing directly in front of Joey, extending his hand. “Hi, I’m Matthew. Big fan, huge in fact, and when I say huge, I mean,” Matthew paused and looked down at Joey’s crotch then back up, “huuuuge.”

JC could be heard crackling from across the pool as the rest of the ladies and Lance all tried to suppress their laughter. “Uh, hey,” Joey said warily, shaking Matthew’s hand. “Good to meet you…I think.”

“I think you’re back on the clock for another drink,” Colleen smiled at him.

The party was now in full swing with people mingling and music blasting. A wonderful 90s/2000s mix was being played as everyone was enjoying some lost gems of the era. “Come on, dance with me,” Colleen prodded JC, tugging at his hand.

“I promise I will,” JC told her, “but Barbie Girl isn’t exactly my jam.”

Colleen leaned into him and whispered the lyrics to him in a seductive voice. “You can touch, you can play, you can say I’m always yours.”

“Did I say this wasn’t my jam?” JC backtracked. “This song is actually my jelly and my marmalade.” Colleen laughed at the absolutely terrible joke as JC joined her.

The song soon switched and JC chuckled as the euro-synth beats of t.A.T.u’s “All The Things She Said” played out of speakers. “What?” she asked. “Remind you of your hit single?” she gently teased, extending her hands and gripping the air, mimicking JC’s actions in his video. By no surprise, the reference was completely lost on him.

“I think you’re using the term “hit” extremely liberally but not exactly. I was actually thinking how dramatically they would always sing this. It was certainly a performance.”

“Yeah, a performance designed to get every straight guy’s dick hard.”

“As I said, certainly a performance.”

“Weren’t they always wet? I mean, I kind of remember every performance of this song having rain.”

“Yeah, great visual effect but terrible conditions if you had to perform after them.”

“How are you two making out or did I interrupt you about to make out?” Lance asked as he wandered over.

“We’re good,” JC told him. “Remember when we had to perform after them?” JC pointed up, indicating the music playing.

“What I remember more is watching them perform from off stage and you four idiots with your dicks in your hands,” Lance laughed.

“He doesn’t mean literally,” JC quickly explained to Colleen.

“Don’t I?” Lance teased, lilting his voice.

“I can’t believe this hasn’t been one of those Tik Tok challenges yet. Like, lip sync the song as water is poured on you then just oversell the fuck out of it.”

Lance’s eyes lit up as a giant smile spread across his face. “Oh no, look what you did,” JC groaned. “Never give Lance content ideas.”

“Everyone!” Lance turned around and shouted to the crowd of about 20 people. “Group activity time!”

Over the course of the next hour, different pairings of people did their best lip syncs, always trying to outdo the pair before them, all while getting sprayed from above by a garden hose. It was ridiculous and silly and fun as Colleen threw herself into it, switching out between singing with Kyle, Michael and Lance’s friend Fortune. 

JC watched with a smile on his face as he sipped his Rosé. “She’s certainly something,” he heard Joey say as he walked up next to him.

“She’s fucking fearless,” JC admired. “I was never as confident as her.”

“Well, you did a hell of a job faking it for years then,” Joey told him, slapping his back. “Get in there, have some fun.”

“Nah, I’m good,” JC protested, preferring to stay on the sidelines.

“Hey,” Colleen said, coming over and wiping water off her face. “Either of you going to join in the antics?”

“Oh, I’m waiting for Lance to free up. Might as well capture the magic of how I used to croon to him on the tour bus,” Joey told her.

“I know you’re joking but I also could completely see that happening,” Colleen laughed then turned to JC. “How about you?”

“I’m enjoying watching you have fun,” JC told her.

“Ok,” she smiled and squeezed his hand, then turned to return to the group. JC kept hold of her hand so she looked back at him. “Yes?” she questioned.

“Just looking,” JC smiled. It was still hard for him to believe she’d been searching for him for years and they finally found each other. The odds were impossible then add to that the relationship actually working out? He felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

Joey leaned over next to Colleen and stared at JC. “Ummmm, what is he doing?”

“I don’t know,” Colleen said through her teeth, keeping her smile plastered on her face.

“You know what?” JC announced. “Why the hell not? I’m in.” JC knew not all the fun with Colleen had to be about sex and watching her enjoy herself made him want to join her.

“Really?!” Colleen’s smile brightened.

“Joe, hold my wine,” JC said as he let Colleen lead him to where they had all been filming.

“Hold my wine,” Joey scoffed and took a sip, instantly making a disgusted face. 

“Hey Handsome,” Matthew walked up to Joey. “Whatcha drinking?”

“Oh, definitely not mine,” Joey said. “I was headed for a refill when I stopped to admire the wet t shirt contest and those two started getting all cute and gross,” he chuckled, gesturing at JC and Colleen.

“Good thing I got you a drink then,” Matthew said coyly, handing Joey a solo cup.

Joey accepted it then looked at Matthew skeptically. “Is this roofied? Cuz, I feel the need to make it clear that while I may hit on my male friends for fun, I am very much straight.”

“And I’m gay and think you’re hot as fuck,” Matthew countered, “but as much as I flirt, I’m not actually gonna try to suck your dick. So, no, it’s not roofied.” Joey gave Matthew a sly smile and sipped the drink he’d brought him. “I do have a proposition for you, however.”

“There’s always a catch,” Joey laughed. “Alright, let’s hear it.”

“It’s nothing bad but, look, let me be honest. My friend is fucking your band mate in some well devised pack with the devil. She has shoved you guys down our throats for years so I know a lot about you so I’m shooting my shot. I’m a stylist and while I know you’ve got a team at Common Knowledge that gets you all dapper and shit, I know where you really express yourself is at the Kentucky Derby. So, I’d like the chance to find the right thing for you.”

“That’s very sweet, Matthew but the Derby’s only two weeks away.”

“Do you have something picked out?”

“No, I’m kind of last minute about stuff but, like, I know how it is. You’d have to call and get stuff then tailor it and, look man, I really do appreciate it but I know the timeline would be a huge crunch for you.”

“What if I told you I have a rack at my studio with your name on it in hopes that you’d say yes?”

Joey took another sip of his drink and grinned. “Ambitious…I like it,” he nodded approvingly. “Alright, you got a deal. Let me get your address. Is Monday evening good? I got plans with JC on Wednesday and then whatever is going on Thursday for Colleen.”

“Monday’s good. Yeah, her actual birthday is Wednesday so we’re taking her out for dinner, which worked out to distract her from whatever the hell JC is planning for Thursday. All I know is I got told to keep the evening open.”

“Knowing them, it’s some elaborate weird kink fantasy setup,” Joey said offhandedly, then instantly remembered Colleen’s warning. “Shit!” he quickly turned to Matthew, who’s eyes were growing wider by the second. “Don’t you dare say anything!”

“I knew that little bitch was holding out on me,” Matthew eyed her down, mad he didn’t know the details but delighted to know there were details to be had.

“Look, she told me if I didn’t say anything, she’d tell me something juicy they did. Keep your mouth shut and I’ll share on Monday. Deal?” 

“Anything for you, Papa Bear,” Matthew brazenly flirted. Joey just laughed and went back to his drink.