JC perused the fish counter, trying to find a few small but beautiful cuts of fish for him and Colleen’s anniversary dinner tonight. He was going to attempt making sushi as an homage to their first date and wanted a variety of choices.

A year. He could barely believe he’d done it. Not that he hadn’t had relationships before that had reached that milestone but very few were this intense. The closest he could compare was Eva.

JC placed his hand in his jeans pocket and felt the receipt from the jeweler right where he had left it. The traditional first anniversary gift was paper and while Colleen might not fully comprehend the magnitude of what he was giving her, JC knew the step he was taking.

Salmon, tuna and yellowtail selected, JC headed to pick up their wine and a celebratory saké. He looked over the different labels as his phone buzzed.

L: Make it through tonight and the other guys owe me money.

JC chuckled at his band mate’s text. They’d been ragging him about today since their recording session a few weeks back. He was still in shock they hadn’t gotten caught by any paparazzi or fans. The song he and Justin had written that day they got high at his house ultimately didn’t work out for the sound the band was going for so that left them with only four tracks, but they were completed and mastered. Justin asked if he could use the discarded song for his album and everyone agreed. They had a brief argument when JC didn’t want a writing credit in case Justin’s album was released before the band’s was done and didn’t want to tip anyone off about the project but otherwise, it truly was like old times.

JC: Since this is based on me, I want a cut of the prize money.

L: Fine by me, you know Chris will send Monopoly money anyway.

Next on the list were the vegetables. JC headed to the produce aisle as he thought about the evening to come. Mistress Raina had given him a list of activities to choose from for the occasion. He didn’t want anything too kinky for the evening and opted for a little bit of role play. It had been more fun than expected when they acted out Colleen’s fantasy for her birthday that he wanted to try out one of his own. He’d rearranged his office as much as possible to resemble Colleen’s and hoped she would go for his idea of playing out their first meeting in a much dirtier fashion this time.

JC made his way to grab rice and seaweed wrappers. He sighed contentedly as he selected his items. A year with an amazing woman, who put up not only with his kinky antics but the Mistress who came along with it. A steady routine with Mistress Raina that helped him balance his home life. He was making strides in therapy to understand what he was truly looking for in his future and how to deal with his past. The band was tighter than they had been in years and had made a good start on an album. There was no timeline so they agreed to reconvene in a few months, leaving JC time to dive back into his musical. Life was better than good; he remembered Colleen asked him when they first started dating what would make him wake up with a smile and lately he had been doing just that.

A small laugh broke JC of his thoughts as he looked to his right and found a small face with beautiful blue eyes staring back at him. Judging by the pink bow on top of the baby’s head, he felt safe in assuming there was a little girl looking up at him. “Hey pretty lady,” he smiled, giving the baby a little wiggle of his finger, making her giggle back at him.

“Gosh, sorry Sir,” the baby’s mother said as she turned back to her daughter. She was about to say something else when she saw who the man was and stopped in her tracks. “JC…” she said in disbelief.

JC looked up with a smile that quickly faded from his face as his heart stopped and dropped into his stomach. “Julie…” he said back to her.

“Hey…how are you?” she asked awkwardly.

“I, um, I’m good, really good,” JC fumbled, trying to recover from his shock. “Uh, you?”

“Doing good, finding my way,” she gave him a small smile. “How’s your musical coming?”

“Slowly but it’s coming,” JC told her, his eyes continually glancing over at the baby in her carrier perched in the shopping cart.

Julie watched JC’s face and knew it would just be easier to address the situation head on. “She’s not yours, if that’s what’s going through your mind,” she said softly.

JC looked down at the girl’s crystal blue eyes and wisps of soft brown curls and didn’t know how she wasn’t. “Where did she come from then?” JC asked then immediately looked over at Julie. “I’m so sorry, that was incredibly rude. I’m just…”

“It’s ok,” Julie reassured him. “Considering everything we went through, you deserve an explanation.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” JC tried to tell her. “I’m not…we aren’t a part of each other’s lives anymore.”

“I know you enough to know this is gonna plague you so why don’t you just let me tell you?”

JC looked at the baby again, who was now reaching toward him. “Ok,” JC said, not taking his eyes off her.

“I, well…” Julie started, finding it harder to say then she initially realized. “After I left, I realized having a baby is something I wanted, for me. So, I found a reputable agency and applied for adoption. Once I got through all the paperwork, I waited to be matched and about six months ago, this little gal was in my arms,” Julie smiled over at her daughter.

“What’s her name?”

“Heather,” Julie told him.

“That’s my sister’s name,” JC swallowed hard.

Julie hadn’t remembered that fact when naming her child but it roared back to her now and she knew it was just another detail making this even harder for JC. “So, anyways,” Julie tried to plow through, wanting to get everything out in the open, “while I was going through the process, I met a man. Robert. He’s a sports agent. Divorced. His teenaged son lives with his mom in Santa Monica…I don’t know why I’m telling you all this,” Julie shook her head.

“You’re fine,” JC said quickly. “I should…” he started to leave.

“No, please,” Julie called after him. JC turned back around. “I’m trying to say that, despite how stressful our relationship was, it ultimately led me to the right things in life for me. I can’t begin to thank you enough for that.”

“You found it stressful?” JC questioned.

“Not at first, but towards the end, yeah, trying to make a baby become more work than fun. You knew my menstrual cycle better than I did. We weren’t together for the right reasons anymore.” JC knew she was right but didn’t want to admit it in this moment. “I should have been more courteous when I broke things off. I was just feeling…”

“Suffocated,” JC finished for her, remembering her words clear as day.

“Overwhelmed,” she corrected her previous language. “You didn’t want a baby, JC. Not with me at least, and that’s ok.”

“But we did, Julie. We had a baby,” JC said earnestly. “I don’t…I don’t want to pretend that didn’t happen.”

“I don’t either,” Julie said, grabbing his hand, “but we were making each other miserable trying to push past it instead of actually dealing with it. I had to go through grief counseling before they would let me proceed with the adoption and it really helped.”

“I started seeing a therapist after you…after we broke up,” JC told her. “I’m just saying, I don’t need to dwell on it but I don’t want to sweep it under a rug either.”

“Agreed,” she gave him a small smile as Heather cooed once more. “Are you, uh, I saw photos a few months back from an Oscars party. Are you and that woman still together?”

“Colleen. Yeah, we are. Tonight’s our…I’m cooking dinner, or assembling dinner. Sushi,” he stammered, for some reason not wanting to share it was their anniversary.

“That’s really great,” Julie genuinely smiled. “So, um, I guess I kinda messed up things with that Regina chick, huh?”

It took JC a moment to realize who Julie was referencing. “Raina. No, you didn’t. That was all me but, um, I went back and explained everything…after. She was very understanding. That’s actually where I met Colleen. I know that doesn’t really make sense but…”

“JC, I’m really happy for you,” Julie told him sincerely. “You deserve someone who can let you be the full you. I couldn’t, I know that.” Julie looked down for a moment then back at JC. “I know I still owe you money for the bills you paid off for me. I didn’t forget but the adoption took a lot of what I had and…”

“Don’t worry about it,” JC brushed it off. “Put it in a college fund for her.” He looked over at Heather again as she made a small squeal and reached for him once more. JC moved a finger towards her that she grabbed quickly and tightly, looking up and smiling at him as she giggled so much that a bit of drool came out of her mouth.

“Oh jeez, sorry,” Julie said, grabbing a cloth and wiping Heather’s face.

“She’s fine,” JC said softly, studying every detail of the baby below him. He’d broken down twice changing Phin’s diaper a few weeks back at Justin’s, thinking how it should have been his own kid’s diaper he was changing. Looking at Heather was like feeling that same pain tenfold.

Julie let JC have a minute, knowing whatever emotions he was feeling had to be hard. “We should get going,” she finally said. “Don’t want to keep you from your sushi making.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” JC said, trying to push his thoughts down for the moment. “It was, uh, it was good to see you.”

“Good to see you too,” Julie told him and meant it. She knew JC was a good man and deserved his own happiness. She was glad to see he seemed to be getting it. “Heather, let go of JC please,” Julie sing songed to her daughter, pulling out a plush llama and shaking it to distract her. Heather fell for the bait, letting go of JC’s finger and grabbing the llama, pulling it close and instantly chewing on its face. She looked back at JC and laughed once more.

“Take care of yourself,” Julie said, giving JC’s arm a quick rub before stepping behind the cart and starting back down the aisle.

“You too, uh, both of you,” JC said, watching the two as they left, one last delightful squeal from Heather reaching his ears. He stood motionless and watched as they turned the corner out of the aisle and were gone. JC didn’t even feel the basket fall out of his hand and heard the distant sound of glass breaking, not registering it was at his feet. He turned the opposite way and walked briskly to the exit.

Julie looked back when she heard the crash and saw the back of JC scurrying away. “Dammit,” she sighed, feeling guilty for inadvertently ruining his dinner. 

Once JC hit the outside doors of the grocery store, he took off in a full blown sprint to his Mercedes. He hopped in and peeled out of his parking spot and got the hell out of there as fast as he could. He didn’t know where he was going and didn’t care, he just wanted to get as far away as possible.