“Well, fancy seeing you around these parts,” Chris greeted Colleen with a hug. “Oh, and this one’s from Karly,” he said, giving her an even tighter hug. Chris let go and turned to JC. “I forgot, she sent along something for you too,” he smiled and then proceeded to smack JC square in the back of the head.

“Hey!” JC yelled, rubbing the spot where he was hit.

“Don’t yell at me, I’m just the messenger,” Chris responded.

“Whipped,” Joey coughed as he wrapped an arm around Sara.

“Which one of us is he trying to insult?” Chris asked JC. “It applies to both of us in very different ways.”

“You sure you want back in on this?” Lance teased as he gave Colleen a hug. JC glared at Lance who stuck his tongue out. “Don’t do stupid shit, don’t get made fun of. It’s pretty simple.”

“Speaking of stupid shit, where the hell is Justin?” Joey inquired.

“Texted he’s running late,” JC said. “Silas was insistent on two stories being read tonight.”

“God, I do NOT miss those days,” Joey shook his head.

“I can’t wait for those days,” Lance beamed.

“I’m really glad you came by,” JC said quietly to Colleen.

“Well, Joey made a point that I should take advantage of seeing you all while I can in case I…can’t, going forward.”

“I hope that’s not the case,” JC confessed.

“Actually, can I…I mean, do you have time to chat real quick? Or later, we can do later. I don’t want to mess up…” Colleen fumbled.

“It’s fine. The sound engineer is still getting everything set up,” JC said and ushered her out of the room.

The other four watched them leave. “Fighting or fucking?” Chris asked the group.

“Toss up,” Joey offered, “but if they aren’t back in five minutes, I’m going snooping.”

JC led Colleen into a small kitchenette down the hall. “What’s going on?” JC asked.

“I, um, I was talking with Sara on the ride over here and, well, did Joey tell you about lunch?”

“About how he opened his yap and you had to tell Sara about Raina? Yeah, though I was surprised she didn’t already know.”

“Josh, that’s private.”

“Are you embarrassed to tell them?”

“Not exactly but…I told Sara only about you, not me. I don’t need them knowing any of it but especially…what if they get all weird with me about it?”

“Then they aren’t that good of friends. The guys tease me, absolutely, but we tease each other about everything. I get it, you don’t need to be shouting from the rooftops what you’re into but you also shouldn’t be afraid to share any part of yourself with people you consider close to you.”

Colleen considered what JC said and filed it away to address later. “Um, anyway, Sara kind of pointed out something and, you know, I’m just telling you how I feel. I’m not demanding anything, just so we’re clear.”

“Ok, I understand.”

“You and I…we have an understanding when it comes to Raina and Piper and, I’m good with it. I promise you, I am. I…I’ve always thought I’d get married and I realize being with you, that’s not a possibility.” JC flashed back to his drunken tirade at Colleen about that very subject and swallowed hard, wanting her to continue and not all at the same time. “You’ve made me see that marriage isn’t necessarily the thing I need but commitment is and…I don’t have that from you. I don’t know what that looks like, I don’t even know if that’s something you even truly want with anyone but…that’s what I need from you to get back together.”

“I appreciate you telling me,” JC said. “Commitment is…it’s really scary for me but it’s also something I truly do want to have with you. Justin told me he explained about Eva’s ring and…and that receipt was going to be my anniversary gift to you. I’ve stayed more committed to that ring and everything it represented than anything else the past fifteen years, including my music. It was time to let it go for you, for us.”

“What is the difference between commitment and marriage to you?”

JC let out a long breath. “I greatly respect marriage and, you know, I was ready for that once. I…I feel like, now, to be married would mean needing to take Raina out of my life and I’m just not ready to do that. It’s a hard line in the sand for me that if you are going to be married you need to be with one person and one person only. Again, I respect it but it’s not where I’m at and I don’t know if that will ever change.”

“I told you from the start I wouldn’t ask you to not be with Raina. I don’t want to change you, I just want to understand better.”

“Right, we both agree on that and…I can’t tell you how amazing that is to be with someone so…open minded. What I’m saying is, with that construct in place, I don’t feel right in myself taking a vow to love and cherish and, frankly, obey one woman when it would be a lie.”

Colleen could tell JC’s stance was clear and she felt more at ease knowing he wasn’t simply refusing to marry out of fear. “Could you maybe  explain to me what commitment looks like to you?”

“What we had: I want you in my life in every single aspect. You are the only person I want in my bed, in this studio, singing songs to on Tik Tok apparently. Raina has her place and it’s a special one and something she and I have worked out over the years. I don’t want to share my life with her, I want to share it with you.”

Colleen walked a few steps away then turned back. “You know this isn’t normal, right? This setup we have.”

“Fuck normal,” JC stated. “Our relationship can be whatever we want it to be as long as we both agree to it. We’ve done our best to be open and honest with each other but maybe we haven’t done the same with ourselves.” JC swallowed hard. “Is this…is this not what you want anymore?”

“I want a partner who isn’t going to cheat on me!” Colleen exclaimed. “I know marriage doesn’t equal fidelity but…I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want wine on the deck and watching you create art and, yes, even trips to the club…together. I want you, Josh but I…”

“You want reassurance it’s never going to happen again,” JC finally put together.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Colleen admitted, “and I know that’s something you can’t give me.”

“Why not?”

“What are you going to do? Give me your word and pinky promise me? You can’t predict your future actions. It’s an impossible request. I don’t…I don’t trust you anymore, Josh. I don’t know how to regain that.”

“Do you want to? With everything we just talked about, is being in this type of relationship really, truly what you want? If it’s not, it’s ok. You need to do what makes you happy in the long run.”

Colleen’s shoulders started to shake. “I liked what we had, Josh. I know it wasn’t conventional but it was ours and I…I want it back.” JC didn’t hesitate this time to run over to Colleen and pull her into his arms. She convulsed with tears and JC had never seen her this vulnerable and heartbroken. He’d done this and he vowed never to put her in this position ever again.

“Fighting, they’re definitely fighting,” Joey reported back to the group when he heard Colleen start to sob.

JC lowered the two of them down to sit on the floor against the wall so Colleen could calm down. He gently kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back. “Babe, I hurt you terribly. I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things but this one…I don’t know when I’ll get to that point. I understand I’ve lost your trust but I would really really like to try to get it back, if you’d let me.”

“How, Josh, how?” Colleen sniffled. “I know you are working so hard and I see that, I do. I don’t know what you can say or do for that to happen.”

“I don’t know either. I don’t have an answer or a plan except to keep doing what I’m doing. If I can work on being a better me, I hope that translates into being a better partner for you.”

Colleen looked up at JC hopefully. She wanted to believe him, she wanted it more than she wanted breath in her body. She craned her neck towards JC’s face…

“Parent Trap trick, works every time,” Justin grinned as he spotted the two on the floor as he walked down the hallway to the studio.

“Guess we better teach Silas that trick then, huh?” Colleen said, sitting up.

“Damn,” Justin exclaimed, waving his hand like he’d just touched a hot stove. “That one burned.”

“You deserved it,” JC smiled back at him.

“Probably,” Justin shrugged and walked over. “Seriously, how you two doing?”

“Working through it,” JC confirmed. “No promises but, you know, talking.”

“Guess I can’t ask for more than that,” Justin replied.

“Justin, why do you care so much?” Colleen looked up and asked him. “I’m not trying to be crude but I know you have your own shit to concentrate on.”

“I’m honestly not a hundred percent sure,” Justin stated. “My therapist told me not to interfere but…JC is one of my oldest and dearest friends and you’ve made him genuinely happier than I’ve ever seen him. I didn’t want him to lose that if there was any way in the world I could help.”

“You didn’t trust me to fix the mess I had made is what you’re saying,” JC smiled at his friend.

“Can you blame me?” Justin smiled wider back and kneeled down on the floor to wrap his arms around them both.

“Ugh, get off of me! I don’t want to smell your armpit,” Colleen protested with a laugh.

“Oh, I think they’re fucking now!” Joey proclaimed excitedly as he ran down the hall to the kitchenette, the other three trailing behind him. He stopped at the entrance and looked at the three embracing. “You owe me money, Lance. I told you they were having a threesome.”

“Colleen, we are having a serious talk later,” Sara attempted to say sternly but couldn’t keep the laughter out of her voice.

“When the wife’s away…” Chris shoved the others out of the way as he launched himself onto Justin’s back, making the trio on the floor yell.

“You did this when your wife was here, you dumbass,” Justin laughed and rolled Chris off of him.

“Why am I always the one on the bottom?” Colleen cried out. The five men shared quick glances with each other. “Shut up, all of you. Don’t answer that!” she managed to get an arm around Justin and point at every one.

“Seriously, is she fucking all of you cuz that’s the vibe I’m getting?” Sara asked Joey out of the side of her mouth.

“I wish!” Joey responded. Sara gave him an annoyed look. “That came out wrong,” he quickly doubled back. 

“Come on, Fatone, join in!” Justin called out. “Otherwise I’m gonna sneak into Lance’s house and jizz into one of your sneakers and leave you to discover which one later,” he winked, remembering Joey’s threat from previously at his house.

Sara screwed up her face in disgust. “What the fuck?”

“That’s Justin Timberlake for you. Secret foot fetishist. Tell all your friends,” Joey smiled before leaping hard on top of the pile of bodies.

“Ow! My spleen!” Chris shouted.

“Ladies first,” Lance held out his arms to indicate for Sara to join.

“Is this some weird initiation ritual you all do? Am I being hazed?” Sara asked as she inched forward.

“That’s oddly pretty appropriate,” Lance laughed as he held his hand out to give Sara leverage to reach the floor. Joey quickly scooped his arm around her as she yelped in surprise as she was quickly absorbed into the mass of bodies.

“Say cheese, everyone,” Lance instructed as he laid on his back on top of the mound of people and took a selfie.

“Don’t you dare post that, Lance!” Justin yelled at him.

“Calm down, I won’t…not until we need to do promo at least,” Lance promised.

“Unless your name is Colleen, would the person whose hand is dangerously close to my penis please remove it?” JC called out.

“Wait, I think that might be…” JC let out a gasp. “Yep, that was me. Sorry JC,” Sara said, moving her hand. “At least now I get why Colleen’s considering taking your ass back. Jesus…”

JC turned about twenty shades of red at the embarrassment as the rest of the pile laughed uproariously. “Don’t worry, it’s not the only reason but definitely a consideration,” Colleen teased. JC let out a smaller gasp then smiled knowingly at Colleen. “Uhhhh, still not me,” Colleen answered quizzically. “Sara!”

“What? I moved!” she shouted back.

The four other band mates exchanged looks then quickly leapt up and scurried back to the studio, giggling between one another. “Seriously! Which one of you idiots touched my dick?!” JC yelled after them as he got up and helped up the ladies.

“So, is it just like an *NSYNC orgy when you all get together?” Sara asked as she stood. “I will get way more serious with Joey if that’s the case.”

“I would have said no but I’ve only seen them all together once before and the same thing happened so I think *NSYNC orgies are actually a thing,” Colleen chuckled.

“Yeah, except last time NOBODY TOUCHED MY DICK!,” JC yelled into the hallway, resulting in a new round of laughter. JC turned back to the ladies. “My apologies. We tend to turn into teenaged boys once again whenever we all see each other.”

“What in the hell were you all doing as teenagers?” Colleen asked in amusement.

“What happens on the road, stays on the road,” JC smirked.

“Tell him you’ll take him back if he confirms if Joshtin is real,” Sara pleaded, tugging on Colleen’s sleeve.

“Oh, Colleen already knows the answer to that,” JC winked as he left the room.

Sara’s mouth went agape as she turned back to her friend. “Bitch, you have been holding out on me for too long. You better tell me everything in painstaking detail right now.”

Colleen rolled her eyes and laughed. “I hate you,” she yelled after JC.

“You love me,” he called back before shouting and laughter could once again be heard from the studio as JC entered.

“That I do, Josh, that I do,” Colleen said quietly to herself before diving into Sara’s onslaught of questions.