Colleen twirled the piece of paper around and around as she ate her chicken curry at her kitchen table. A friend had texted to see what time she should pick her up tonight, to which Colleen quickly lied and said she was stuck late at work and had to cancel. After the day she had, not only had she completely forgotten about her plans but she was in no place to go out and act like everything was fine.

At this point, even if she lost the paper, the number was etched in her brain. Colleen’s mind wandered through a number of fantasies she had concocted about JC over the years, him picking her out of a crowd at a show or dancing with him at some club, even just running into him at The Grove. No matter the set up, the outcome was always the same: instant chemistry, mind-blowing sex. Yet never once did she think they’d meet because they both frequented the same kink establishment. That was definitely not how the meet cute was supposed to happen.

Sure, she’d imagined countless times JC being the person she could confide her deviant thoughts to. He’d listen with his undivided attention, his curiosity turning into eagerness, wanting to learn every little facet of what turned her on so he could please her in every way she craved. When she’d finish explaining, he’d kiss her hard and pull her onto his lap, his hands running over her back, pressing her body against his. He’d finally break the kiss, his breath heavy and his lips pink and say “Let’s start right now,” as a wicked smile broke out across his face. His hand would snake into her hair to hold her firm as he stared up at her, his blue eyes dark as the ocean with lust, boring into her, letting her know she should just give up control because he was going to take it.

“Jesus, get it together, Colleen” she said out loud to herself as she came back from her daydream. She cleaned up her dinner and headed to her bedroom to finally change out of her work clothes. She pulled down what remained of her bun and chucked her blouse and skirt over a chair to be dealt with tomorrow. She reached into her dresser and found a matching set of blue pj shorts and top to slip into. Finally, she allowed herself to flop on the bed in utter exhaustion.

After some time, she crawled her way up the bed and sat with her back propped up against her pillows. She opened her phone and stared at her home screen, debating on what icon to click. She checked her email, scrolled through Twitter, Instagram and Tik-Tok, caught up on the evening news and used up her Candy Crush lives all in an effort to not do the thing she desperately wanted to do: contact JC.

What would she even say? “Hey, sorry for earlier but finding out my life long crush is a submissive kinkster kinda threw me for a loop. Coffee?” Colleen dropped the phone on the bed and slouched down, considering yet again how to handle this predicament.

Suddenly, a realization came to Colleen that made her sit bolt upright. If JC was submissive and she was submissive, how the hell was this even supposed to work?! “Stupid Raina!” Colleen screamed in frustration, getting up and marching back to the kitchen. This called for ice cream.

“Ok,” Colleen thought to herself as she dug into some Cookies and Cream, “I’m a confident woman, JC likes confident women. I know how to be aggressive in bed and with him I certainly wouldn’t mind. Maybe he can play switch every so often?”

Colleen sighed as she took another bite. One thing she had learned the hard way was if she didn’t have the sexual satisfaction she craved in her relationship, it would never work out. After witnessing a good sampling of JC’s girlfriends over the years, she guessed he was in the same boat. Colleen was long past setting aside her needs for the sake of someone else, even if that person was JC Chasez.

As she moved to put the ice cream back in the freezer, Colleen came to the conclusion that one of three things needed to happen. She either needed to fuck JC, have a long discussion with him about exactly what either of them was looking for, or simply not talk to him and pretend this never happened. 

Option three was off the table immediately. There was absolutely no way she wasn’t going to contact him. How to approach it was the real question. There was so much weight and expectation to the whole thing. It wasn’t like meeting some guy at a bar and not knowing anything about him. Colleen knew so much about JC, or so she thought before today.

Colleen realized that was the sticking point as she headed back to her bedroom once more. She could try to act like JC was just like any other guy but it would be useless. Perhaps the call was to lean into it and use that knowledge to her advantage.

With that mindset, Colleen climbed back on her bed and grabbed her phone. She opened the message icon and selected to create a new entry, then shut her eyes and gave herself a quick pep talk before continuing. “Assertive but don’t scare him. Think before you type but don’t lie. No matter how this turns out, at least you are finally having this conversation with someone who hopefully won’t judge you. Don’t consider it a failure if you don’t get to fuck him, you are gonna learn way more than you ever expected to.” Colleen breathed, opened her eyes and began typing.

JC was finishing up a top coat on his nails when his phone chimed. It wasn’t the tone for Mistress Raina so he knew it could wait a few minutes until the polish dried. He hadn’t talked to her since he had gotten out of the downtown gridlock and called her on the more relaxed part of the drive. She was mad he hadn’t phoned immediately and even more angry about how the meeting had gone once JC told her the details. She said she’d call him later but so far that hadn’t happened.

He still wasn’t sure how he’d fucked up. Wasn’t the whole point to meet this woman because she was a member of the club? He had never talked to someone who he hadn’t brought with him about their experience and JC thought it might have been interesting to compare stories.

JC had been thinking about Colleen on and off since he left her office. He was still amazed that she was the same person he’d seen only a few nights earlier. If she hadn’t admitted it was her, he would have absolutely believed he had encountered twin sisters. The duality of each interaction was strikingly opposite. Then again, he was a much different person when he spent time with Mistress Raina than in his day to day life.

The top coat had solidified enough that JC could grab his phone and check the text that had come in.

Hey JC, it’s Colleen. Raina gave me your number. I hope it’s ok to contact you.

“Holy shit,” JC thought in surprise at the message. He knew Mistress Raina was giving her his number but after her reaction earlier, he didn’t actually think she’d contact him. He quickly typed back.

Hey Colleen, totally cool. 

Colleen’s phone buzzed and she said a quick prayer that it was JC. She looked and vowed to go to church on Sunday in appreciation.

C: I wanted to apologize for earlier. Definitely not where I thought the meeting would be going.

J: Me neither. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.

C: You didn’t know. I talked to Raina, she divulged at least a bit of her “master plan” lol.

J: Oh? Then you know way more than she’s told me.

C: Oops, well then, probably shouldn’t step on Mistress’s toes.

J: Yeah, she probably wouldn’t like that.

“Shit, this is harder than I thought,” Colleen cursed at herself. Since she actually didn’t know JC, interpreting his tone through text made it tough to tell if that was a joke or not.

C: Well, she wanted us to talk, right? So I suppose if it came up in conversation, that wouldn’t be a problem.

J: Hmmm, I suppose you are right.

JC smiled as he typed his last message. It was a welcome change to have someone to talk to so casually about this part of his life. Everyone he’d ever spoken about it with dismissed it and changed the subject or questioned his motives.

C: Well, let’s just keep the awkward going by asking how you ended up at this Bordello of Sin.

J: LOL Pretty sure that was the original name of it. Some friends and I went there a long time ago as just something different to do. I’ll admit, it was my idea but no way in hell I was going by myself so I roped them into it. They weren’t so keen on it after but I was hooked so I’ve been going back off and on ever since.

C: No no no, you don’t get to give me a vague origin story and fast forward 20 years. 

J: How’d you know it had been that long?

C: I told you, I got Raina to reveal a few of her secrets.

J: You must be a very persuasive woman. She’s not easily swayed.

C: A necessary skill as a lawyer that comes in handy from time to time. So what made you want to go there in the first place?

J: It was just kind of a curiosity really. The band was huge at the time and girls were literally throwing themselves at us. I’m probably an asshole for saying this but it was too easy. I’m not a guy for a quick lay. I just wanted something different, more intense, I guess.

“It wouldn’t have been quick with me,” Colleen mused to herself before responding.

C: So was it just a desire for variety or something you had been interested in previously?

J: Both I suppose. I got an excuse to go so I took advantage of it.

C: So what do you and Mistress Raina do while you’re there?

“Whoa,” JC said out loud, his eyes going wide at the text. He’d been surprised at how easy the conversation flowed with Colleen given the subject matter and while he wanted to continue, he wasn’t quite ready to share that intimately yet.

J: Oh no, not fair. You have to share as well.

C: Mine’s not very exciting. My job is stressful and I need to unwind from time to time. I’ve tried yoga, meditation, therapy, weekend spiritual retreats, none of it really helped for long. I was out at a club one night with some girlfriends and overheard some guy talking about Mistress Piper and how much more relaxed he felt after seeing her so I did some research and here we are.

J: That sounds like a vague origin story and a time jump to present to me.

Colleen stuck her tongue out at the phone.

C: Ok fine. It is that but sometimes it’s like my brain needs to power off for a bit so I can recharge.

J: Not being condescending but isn’t that what a good night’s sleep is for?

C: Sure, when you can get one. That’s not particularly easy for me without Mistress Piper’s help. Since seeing her I’ve had a lot more restful nights.

J: So it’s more of a self-care thing than a sex thing?

C: It’s a bit of both, if I’m being honest. 

J: I’m glad you like Piper. A friend of mine had a session with her and really did not enjoy the experience. Good to hear it was just him.

JC quickly flashed back to the late night hours after his first visit. “I’m telling you, C. She did something to me! She like, fucked with my mind or something. I never would have….”

C: She’s definitely an aquired taste but if that’s the flavor you’ve been searching for, it’s the best meal you’ve ever had.

J: Wow, that’s a good line!

C: Feel free to borrow it but if it ends up in a song, I want a writing credit.

J: Of course! I wouldn’t dare screw over an attorney.

“Would you just straight up screw the attorney though?” Colleen wondered. “Don’t push him and show your hand too early. Play the long game.”

C: Well JC, I hate to do this to you but I for one have been through the wringer today and should get to bed.

J: Yeah, of course. You gonna be able to sleep ok?

C: Honestly not sure. Hoping the roller coaster of emotions will just allow me to pass out for a few hours from sheer exhaustion. Thanks for asking though.

J: Still so sorry about that.

C: Still not your fault. Maybe we could continue this conversation another time? It’s weird but nice to talk about this with someone.

J: Yeah, of course. Feel free anytime.

C: Same goes for you. Goodnight JC.

J: Goodnight Colleen, sweet dreams.

Colleen stared at her phone as JC’s last message came in and shrieked with delight over his response. She absolutely did not want to stop talking to him and could have carried on the conversation for hours but didn’t want to risk overstepping or oversharing on the first go around. JC was worth the wait.

She really was feeling tired from the events of the day and nestled into bed, rereading her conversation with JC. She saw where she went wrong with asking him directly about his time with Raina and made a mental note to be more subtle next time. She tried to run through the catalogue of memories in her brain to see if anything came close but settled on the fact that today had been the absolute strangest day of her life. Colleen still wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t wake up and have it be Friday again but as she read over the text thread for about the eighth time, sleep finally claimed her for the night with JC’s wishes for sweet dreams on her mind.

JC plugged in his phone to charge and headed to his studio. It had been a weird day and he just wanted to play around on his guitar. He still hadn’t heard from Mistress Raina and while he enjoyed his conversation with Colleen, he was a little relieved when she called it an early night as he didn’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing again. She seemed nice enough but there was definitely something she wasn’t telling him. He didn’t hold it against her given he was holding back some things himself, but he was definitely interested in finding out.