“Alright, I gotta get going,” Michael declared, reluctantly handing JC back his jacket. “The snow machine is here for another hour and Lisa will be by later tonight to get the rest of this stuff.”

“Michael, this was…really weird but really cool,” JC laughed and gave him a hug.

“Definitely weird but perfect. Thanks for…thanks for doing this,” Colleen hugged Michael next, trying not to get too emotional.

“Sometimes our dreams don’t come out the way we planned them but that doesn’t mean we still shouldn’t get them,” Michael smiled back. “Will we see you before you head to Florida?”

“We’ll let you know,” JC told him. “Colleen’s working up until we leave so may be tight.”

“No worries if you can’t,” Michael assured him before exchanging another round of hugs and heading out.

“So, anything else in particular you want to do in the snow?” JC grinned.

“Too cold and too public for anything dirty,” Colleen laughed.

“Then how about just a refill on the hot chocolate?”

“Sounds perfect,” she smiled and kissed JC. He grabbed the mugs and headed in the house as Colleen wrapped herself up in the blanket once more. Her eyes instantly flew down to gaze at the new ring on her finger. It wasn’t an engagement ring, she kept telling herself. Just a ring…with a diamond in the middle…given by a man on one knee…who wasn’t her boyfriend. Every time she thought they’d reached the strangest part of the relationship, something new popped up. At this point, she wouldn’t be surprised if Raina insisted on performing some ancient blood bonding ritual on them.

“Penny for your thoughts?” JC said as he returned and handed her a warm mug.

“Don’t you normally get those for free?”

“Yes but I rarely get to hear them, I just make them go away,” he chuckled.

“Then I’m charging at least five bucks for all the stuff I got running through my brain right now.”

“My wallet’s in the house but I promise I’m good for it.”

Colleen smiled and sighed. “I…are you…I mean, this is…” she gestured at the snowy setup they currently found themselves in.

“A lot?”

“Definitely a lot,” she laughed. “It was so incredibly sweet and ridiculous and…I don’t know, I just have a lot of feelings about it.”

“Good feelings?”

“Mostly. Some guilty. Some sad.”

“Because you wish it had been me.”

“Of course I wish it was you, Josh!” Colleen nearly shouted. “I’m not angry or upset at you or anything. I know marriage isn’t happening and I’m ok with that, I promise you I am but I just got proposed to by our friend dressed up as you. So, lots of feelings.”

“I think this may be partially my fault.”

“It’s not. I’m the one that told Michael that story. I mean, I thought it was innocent. He was talking about how he thought he’d end up trading stocks. We were just sharing stories how different we thought life would be. I didn’t…”

“Colleen,” JC grabbed her hand, “you never asked what I was talking to Lance about.”

“What were you talking to Lance about?” she took the bait.

“You. You lit up when you saw those babies.”

“They’re babies, Josh,” Colleen laughed. “They’re tiny and cute and most importantly weren’t crying. That’s a pretty common reaction to coo stupidly at them.”

“Babe,” JC breathed, “sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes it’s hard to accept how much you are giving up for me.”

“Josh…” Colleen sighed but JC held a finger up and she let him finish.

“I know we’ve been over this so many times and I don’t doubt you want to be here, with me. I don’t even doubt you’ll change your mind at some point but…I want to be able to give you the things you want in life. Every single thing. I’m having a tough time realizing I just can’t do that.”

“Josh, you give me love, and respect, and adventure, and companionship, and really fucking amazing sex. If there is something I want, I know I can ask.”

“I know that too but…I just watched you get proposed to because I couldn’t do it myself. I’m not mad exactly but I feel…I feel a little emasculated if I’m being honest.”

“I can understand that and their hearts were completely in the right place but, yeah, it’s an odd feeling,” Colleen agreed. “Maybe there is some merit to what they were getting at though. Yes, there was kneeling and professions of love and commitment and even a ring. I think…I think maybe there’s something to just that. I know it’s traditionally the gateway to marriage but, again, when do we do traditional?”

“A proposal without the proposal?”

“Beats a scribbled contract on a piece of copy paper,” Colleen teased.

“We almost had to write it on the back of Mistress Raina’s daughter’s permission slip to the science center,” JC grinned.

“That would have been harder for me to laminate and frame,” Colleen winked. “Josh, let me put it this way: your friends clearly care about you. Since you expressed regret over not being able to do something, in your eyes, they wanted to give you a solution so you could stop fretting over it. They want you to be happy.”

“I know they do,” JC squeezed his girlfriend’s hand. The couple sat quietly for some time, holding hands, drinking their cooling hot chocolate and enjoying the snow in the middle of the Hollywood Hills. Eventually, the snow ceased falling and it was time to head back to reality but both of their heads were lost in their own thoughts.

“Oh my God, you gotta see this,” JC laughed a few hours later as he brought over a glass of wine and tucked in next to Colleen for their now customary fireside unwind from the day.

“That’s totally staged but hilarious,” Colleen said as she stared at the picture on JC’s phone that Justin had sent. His new watch lay on his comforter with a lacy bra thrown next to it. He captioned the picture: “I was wrong. Best present ever.”

JC: You did not!

JT: No, but let’s just say Michael and Lance aren’t the only ones role playing as you tonight

JC: Gross but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Which role did you play exactly?

Justin just sent back the shhh emoji and the wink emoji and JC knew he’d get it out of him later.

“Seems like things are getting back to good with them,” Colleen observed.

“Yeah, they’re working really hard and I’m proud of him…of them both.”

“Relationships are hard, Josh, but completely worth the effort.”

“You think I’m worth the effort?”

“Even the days I doubted it, I knew you were,” she leaned over and kissed him softly before snuggling back into him. JC’s arm draped around her body as he looked down and wondered for the zillionth time how he got so lucky. 

Nearly a week later on Christmas Eve, the two found themselves in almost the exact same position but resting on the couch at JC’s parent’s house as a similar fire roared before them. Due to the time change, the couple was still awake while the rest of the house slept. JC’s family instantly made Colleen feel welcome and right at home and being with JC on Christmas just felt right.

“Hey, it’s midnight,” JC whispered as he leaned his head down. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” she smiled back and kissed JC’s awaiting lips. 

“Would it be ok if I gave you one of your presents now?” JC asked.

“One of? Crap, I wasn’t aware we’d moved up to multiple gifts,” Colleen bit her finger.

JC chuckled, “I mean, I didn’t get a mountain. Just a few small things but there is one present I wanted to give you without everyone around.”

“Ok,” Colleen smiled.

JC got up and pulled something out of Colleen’s makeshift stocking his Mother had put together. “Ok, this is a bit of a surprise ruiner but I need to set the expectations on this. I got you a ring but it’s not THAT ring. I don’t want you to see the box and get excited and then disappointed.”

“Appreciate the clarification,” Colleen told him, being honest with herself that that’s exactly what would have happened.

JC presented her the box and she smiled brightly as she opened it to reveal the yellow citrine ring she’d borrowed for the charity event. “Matthew got me in touch with the designer,” JC explained.

“Thank you, Josh. You didn’t have to do this. I know it was pricey.”

“You liked it so much, it was worth the investment,” he told her. “I, um, I got it inscribed if you want to see.”

Colleen turned the ring over to find the plating under the gemstone to now say “I am yours, you are mine.” She smiled and faced JC, only to find him kneeling in front of her. “What are you doing?” she breathed.

“Currently trying to not have an anxiety attack,” JC laughed nervously.

“Sit down before you hurt yourself,” Colleen patted the sofa.

“No, I’m good,” JC tried to convince himself. “Last week, with Michael and the fake proposal, it…”

“Josh, don’t do this cuz you feel insecure or something…”

“I’m not, I swear,” JC swallowed, “and I’m not…something you said really struck with me. That maybe the experience itself is worth something and we can make what it represents to mean anything we want.”

“I’m not following,” Colleen confessed.

JC breathed deep and continued. “Colleen, meeting you changed my life for the better and, honestly, that scared me a lot. It still does but I’m trying to embrace those feelings instead of running from them. I love you in ways I can’t even fully express but I’m gonna keep trying and this is one of them. Whether it’s contracts or songs or flowers or straight up professions of love, I want you to know how much I truly love you and appreciate you being in my life. There’s no question being asked today but just know how much I hope you’ll stay in my life until I have no more life to give.”

Colleen couldn’t stop tears from falling as she could see the trepidation in JC’s words being written all over his face, his hands shaking enough to be noticeable, awkwardly waiting for the answer to a question he’d never ask. She thought back to the night at her house where JC had first confessed how much she scared him, the first time he made it clear that he wanted forever. She thought that would be the pinnacle of him being able to verbalize his intentions but here he was, Christmas morning in his parent’s home, doing more to show his commitment than either of them ever thought he could do. 

“Josh, we have weathered some crazy storms in just this year and a half and we did it together. We did it for each other. I love whatever insane path we’re on and definitely would never want to do this with anyone else. Whatever’s next, we can handle it. I love you and I’m dedicated to you, to us, for whatever is past forever.”

JC’s own tears finally spilled out as he gave a small chuckle, realizing now how much tension he still held from the only other time he’d been in this position. “Can I…I mean…” he gestured at the ring Colleen was holding. “I never got to…I mean, I never…”

“Oh, of course,” she said, handing him the ring and holding out her left hand. JC took in a deep breath as he slowly slid the ring onto her middle finger. They both watched the action, both etching it into their brains for all of time. Once on, Colleen curled her fingers into his, squeezing his hand.

“That…that actually felt pretty good,” JC laughed.

“Felt good on my end,” she agreed. “My gift is gonna blow after this.”

“I’m sure I’ll love it,” he smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of the way. “I love you. I am yours, you are mine.”

“I am yours, you are mine,” Colleen smiled through her tears and leaned over to kiss him.

“OH MY GOD!” they heard a shout and turned quickly to see JC’s sister Heather standing shell shocked at the bottom of the stairs. 

“This isn’t what it looks like,” JC quickly said, already knowing how dumb it sounded before it even left his mouth.

“Heather, what’s going on?” their mother Karen came down the stairs.

“Josh proposed to Colleen,” Heather stated, pointing at the couple.

“No, I didn’t,” JC said defensively, immediately feeling like he did as a child when his sister caught him doing something he shouldn’t.

“Maybe you should stop kneeling on one knee,” Colleen giggled. JC looked down and quickly sprung up to his feet.

“Colleen, let me see your hands,” Karen walked over. Colleen threw a glance at JC but did as she was told. Karen instantly saw a new ring that hadn’t been there at dinner. She turned and smiled up at her son. “Whatever this means to you, congratulations.”

“Thanks Mom,” JC smiled and walked around the couch to hug his Mother tight. Somehow his Mom just knew, like mother’s so often do with their children.

“Wait, so, did they not get engaged?” Heather asked.

“We aren’t getting married,” JC confirmed to his sister.

Heather eyed him skeptically. “I know you well enough to know you didn’t technically answer the question,” she told him. She gave him another long look. “Come on, we got presents for the kids in the garage we gotta get under the tree.”

JC smiled and turned to Colleen. “Care to help?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” she said as she bounced up and grabbed his hand, giving him a quick kiss before they were both put to work.