“Justin, having one sex dream about Colleen doesn’t mean you’re in love with her.”

“What else could it mean?!” Justin exclaimed as he once again sat on the light grey couch in Charlotte’s office at their next session.

“Well, it could mean a lot of things but most likely it’s that you associate her with sex and you haven’t had sex in a long time,” Charlotte explained.

“I don’t…I don’t associate her with sex,” Justin looked at Charlotte incredulously.

Charlotte looked at him over the brim of her glasses. “Justin, you aren’t this naive. I need you to admit the truth here. Not to me but to yourself.”

“What truth?” Justin asked defensively.

Charlotte sighed, knowing that of course Justin would have to do this the hard way. “Justin, the first conversation you really had with JC about Colleen, what was it about?”

“He called because she was seeing, uh, you and wanted to know the full story of what happened between us.”

“And what was the first conversation you had with Colleen about?”

“Uh, the same thing,” Justin admitted.

“So now do you want to explain why you ran into JC’s office to find Colleen when you clearly knew you would be walking in on some sort of sexual activity?”

Justin breathed. “I think it was just automatic at first. That’s what we did on tour, we’d barge in on each other just to be assholes but I…I wanted to know exactly what they were doing.”

“Why?”

“Because I only knew what you and I did and I didn’t know if it was the same or different or…I was curious, let’s put it that way.”

“Then how did you feel when you saw her?”

“Shocked. I mean, that’s the only way I can think to describe it. I thought she might be naked but that was a whole other level of naked. She didn’t even realize I was there, in the moment at least. It wasn’t just sex I walked in on, it was something super intimate, like I was getting a peak inside her brain. I knew as soon as I saw her that they were doing something…like it was her idea, you know.”

“They were acting out a fantasy and you barged in on it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Justin said sheepishly. “There’s a difference between knowing it and actually seeing it.”

“Then how did you feel when she joined you both downstairs?”

“I was…I was jealous. This very smart, capable, independent woman was curled up on my friend’s lap without a care in the world. She would have done anything he asked her to. I mean, for God’s sake, he told her to stop talking and she did! And she was happy to do it! That’s insane to me.”

“Why? You have an idea how she feels. Why is that insane?”

“I do have an idea and I don’t miss it. I get it but I don’t want it for myself. What I want to know is how he feels. How amazing must it be to have your girlfriend do whatever you wanted? Eagerly and without questions or complaints or arguments. It sounds fucking perfect!”

“Well, I think you can see it’s not perfect since they’re broken up.”

“They aren’t broken up,” Justin insisted. “They just need some space.”

Charlotte ignored Justin’s response and continued. “So have you thought about Colleen like that since then?”

“From time to time, yeah, but not like in a sexual way. I haven’t gotten off to it or anything just, you know, trying to understand what that’s like day to day.”

“Yet you watched them have sex when they stayed at your house. Were you curious then too?”

“I think I…I just wanted to see if it would happen again. Like, did they have to be kinky to have sex or…?” Justin hung his head, realizing Charlotte was right: he sexualized Colleen a lot. “Goddammit,” he muttered, sitting back on the couch. “JC was still right though.”

“Partially. Maybe you have a little crush on her but I believe it’s because you saw her dynamic with JC and wish you could have the same thing. You want your own sex doll to play with.”

Justin’s mouth hung open as he blinked at Charlotte. “No, I don’t…I mean, most people aren’t like Colleen, they don’t actually want to be controlled like that.”

“Most, no, but there are still plenty that do.” Charlotte sat up straighter in her chair. “Let me give you a scenario. You know my secretary Isabelle out there?”

Justin knew Isabelle to be pleasant and always had a smile when he walked in. She wasn’t unattractive per say, just not his type with her graying mousy brown hair and short stocky stature. “Yeah, what about her?”

“What if I told you with a snap of my fingers, I could turn sweet upbeat Isabelle into a mindless doll for you to play with? You could do whatever you wanted to her and she’d do it. She could suck your cock, she could get your dry cleaning, she could paint your house, literally anything you wanted.”

Justin gulped and turned his head towards the reception area. Suddenly Isabelle was looking much more attractive in his eyes.

“What if it was your wife? What if you could just make Jess stop yelling at you? If she just stood there, silent and docile and compliant, waiting for you to tell her what to do next?”

Justin shifted on the couch, trying to hide his hardening cock. That he had masterbated to, the fantasy of them not fighting, of Jess climbing into bed seductively and sucking him off like she used to. It could be perfect again if he could just…

“Whatever you’re thinking isn’t real, Justin,” Charlotte interrupted his thoughts. “These are called fantasies for a reason. You want to just fix everything with your wife and the easiest way to do that is for her to shut up and just do what you say. You want to be in control of a situation you don’t have all the control in.”

“Of course, I want to be in control. It’s my marriage I’m trying to save, the livelihood of my kids,” Justin stated, trying to keep himself calm.

“You know Colleen likes to be controlled, you want control. Pretty understandable for your brain to pick the easiest target, especially since you’ve seen it in action.”

“I feel like such a chauvinistic asshole though,” Justin huffed. “I shouldn’t even think like that.”

“If you acted on any of that, you would be. You’re here, you’re putting in the work, you’re valuing Jess’s feelings through all of this. Imagining you could make it magically all better doesn’t make you an asshole, it just makes you human.”

“Guess that’s why JC hasn’t tried that tactic with Colleen yet.”

“I want to believe JC has enough sense not to but even if he did, he’d basically be weaponizing her own desires against her. There is a giant difference between acting them out and bringing them to life for sexual play and how you want to live day to day.”

“How do you know that's not what JC and Colleen want?” Justin questioned.

“Besides that I know because of what she’s told me, let’s pretend I don’t. If this was a lifestyle choice, you’d see it more in the way they interacted, even in public. She’d probably talk less at social gatherings or she’d always be the one to go get him another drink if he wanted it. Or vice versa if JC wanted to be submissive to her like he is to Raina. That’s fine for some people and truly what they want but that’s not what JC nor Colleen want for their lives; it’s just for sex.”

“I get that, I wouldn’t want that either, like, full time,” Justin mused. “I guess sometimes I wish I was with someone more like Colleen, I mean. Someone who’s independent yet supportive, who doesn’t have to necessarily prioritize me but doesn’t neglect me, who wants to be with me, in every sense of the word.”

“What you just described, is that how you felt about Jess before your oldest son was born?”

Justin thought hard about it. “Yeah, I think so. She used to be way more like that.”

Charlotte leaned forward. “Justin, you’ve been watching a new relationship developing while yours has been hitting some rough spots. It’s absolutely natural to think the grass is greener on the other side. I know JC’s had a rough dating history, was there ever a time the roles were reversed?”

Justin remembered when he and Jess had started getting serious that that’s when JC had started to distance himself. He knew it was because of everything with Eva, his frustrations with the record label and so on but had he and Jess’s relationship been a factor as well?

“Think it over and we’ll talk about it next week,” Charlotte said, closing up her notebook. “Anything else you want to mention before we wrap up?”

“Yeah, how do we get those two back together?”

Charlotte laughed and shook her head. “We stay out of it. You can be there and be supportive to both of them but don’t push either. JC is finally addressing some deep rooted trauma and he needs time to deal with that. Colleen is…she’s working through her hurt, that’s all I’ll say.”

“Did she call you? I asked her to. She’s not sleeping and I know…”

“She called,” Charlotte cut him off. “I referred her to a colleague to talk some stuff through.”

“Like, sex colleague or therapist colleague?” Charlotte raised her eyebrow at Justin. “Come on, that was a valid question.”

Charlotte stood up and walked over to her desk. “Justin, I get you want to help them because you care but you need to focus on you and your marriage. You can’t take on their problems.”

“You know what disturbed me most about that dream? That I said JC didn’t deserve Colleen. He says that all the time and it’s not true. She’s great, like, in general but especially for him. I’m jealous of the connection they have but I never…he deserves so much better from this world and I really thought Colleen was the start of that.”

“Give them time, Justin. They are doing the same thing you and Jess are for your relationship. Allow them that same grace.”

“We’re married. I don’t want to say we have to but there’s more at stake. They could decide to go their separate ways and then what? You know they’re perfect for each other.”

“It doesn’t matter what you or I think, it matters what is best for them. You would hate it if JC played marriage counselor and tried to force you and Jess to essentially kiss and make up and pretend all the bad shit didn’t happen. You gotta talk it through and work it out for it to succeed and you also have to realize that doesn’t always happen.”

Justin let out a heavy sigh, not only at JC’s situation but his own. “Sometimes I feel like all of JC’s problems stem from me. I know that’s not true but I feel that way from time to time. I just want to fix one of them for him, just once.”

“Well, that sounds like an excellent subject to discuss next time,” Charlotte gave him a small smile. “Be extra nice to Isabelle on your way out now that you know her secret.”

“Wait, what?” Justin said in surprise. “I thought you were just fucking with me?”

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” Charlotte gave a sly smile.

Justin gave Charlotte an odd look but left, knowing he was never going to get the answer out of her.

“Same time next week, Mr. Harless?” Isabelle asked as Justin entered the lobby once more.

“Uh, yeah, I think…yeah, that’s fine,” Justin said, staring at the woman, trying to see if she’d give him any indication as to if what Charlotte told him was true.

“Great, we’ll see you next week,” Isabelle smiled. Justin nodded and kept staring at the woman as he exited. Isabelle got up from her desk and went into Charlotte’s office and shut the door. “He had that look on his face. What line did you use this time?”

“Sex slave,” Charlotte smirked.

“Big surprise, another famous man who gets off on objectifying women.”

“Way more complicated than that but thanks for always agreeing to be the patsy for these things.”

“Thanks for pretty much guaranteeing Justin Timberlake is going to have a sex dream about me,” Isabelle laughed. 

“Would fifteen year old you be freaking out?” Charlotte asked.

“Oh God no, too old for his boyband days but his little tight ass in that movie with Mila Kunis did me in.”

“Haven’t seen it but how do you know it wasn’t a body double?”

“Do I look like I care?” Isabelle gave a hearty laugh and exited as Charlotte shook her head and started writing up her notes.