Broken Glass


Justin Timberlake this…
Justin Timberlake that…
Justin Timberlake has a top ten solo album…
Justin Timberlake is engaged…
Justin Timberlake world wide tour has sold out…
Justin…
Justin…
Justin…


JC Chasez had lost his faith. Way back when Justin had announced his intentions for a solo album, not only did the guys of *NSYNC stood one hundred and ten percent behind him...so did the record label. The record label supported Justin in every idea he had even when the ideas were a little over the top. The record label doing everything they could to guarantee Justin’s first solo album would not fail...that he would succeed as a solo artist (and boy did he ever!)


With JC...the record label pushed him to allow Justin to help him write songs on HIS album. “Justin’s album succeeded because he knows what type of music the fans want. Your songs are a little too sexually explicit. Tone it down…let Justin help you and we will promote you.” What made it worse was Justin had even taken the label’s side probably due to the fact he was afraid if he went against them he would lose their support. “Come on JC. Do what they want on your first album and your second one you can do what you want. You can use your own songs then.”

Whatever...


Screw them…


Screw him...

JC turned his back on the label in a move Justin thought was a mistake…a mistake that would destroy JC’s chances for a successful solo career. JC wanted his own music…his own choices on HIS first album. The damn label allowed Justin that option so why did they refuse to let JC have it as well?

The label was pissed of course and informed JC he would have to find his own producers…set up his own studio times…and promote his album on his own. Fine. He poured every waking moment into his project not even realizing until a month had gone by that Justin had stopped calling him. Chris, Joey, and Lance had informed JC that Justin was not even keeping in touch with them anymore…he had even changed his cell phone number without letting any of them know the new number. Obviously being too wrapped up in the success of his solo album and in return turning his back on his four brothers.


JC was destroyed having known Justin the longest of them all. He had supported Justin always in everything the kid wanted to do…now where was Justin during the time when JC could use his support. JC no longer had the faith in his own album that was only halfway recorded. No faith in the music business…no faith in himself anymore. He allowed the record label to push the release date to a later time…over and over again with no plan to finish it anytime soon.

Instead, JC just preferred to lay in his bed, curtains closed to shut out the outside world that no longer cared about him. He did not really sleep, nor was he really awake. He just allowed himself to be numb where nothing would matter.


His label called practically every hour leaving messages demanding for him to call them back. Why bother? They did not support him. His family, Chris, Joey, and Lance left messages as well...begging for him to call not only them back…but the damn label, who obviously was calling them as well. The last message he received from his own manager was asking JC where the hell his head was these days.

But Justin never called.

JC’s head began to pound…probably due to the lack of nutrition...lack of food...water...to think about it...he could not remember when he last ate. Alcohol was his new best friend.


He slowly pulled his worn body out of his bed and made his way to his bathroom...his legs shaking like those of a newborn colt’s the entire way. He needed something for his head. Aspirin…Vicodin… Darvocet…a gun? Anything to take the pain away. Reaching to open the medicine cabinet he gasped at the reflection in the mirror. Was that him?

Long, messed up locks of hair flowing every which direction, sunken cheeks, hollow eyes with no emotion in them. His face no longer held color other than the purple that lined his eyes evidently from lack of sleep. He did not like that man looking back at him. With energy he did not believe he still had inside of himself he slammed his fist into the mirror shattering it into a million different pieces. Glass flew everywhere around him as blood began to pour from broken skin…knuckles noticeably broken. JC watched in fascination as the blood made its way down his fingers and onto the bathroom floor.

And…

For the first time in months…

He laughed…

Bitterly.

*copyright 2003*