Chapter 9

Kristen walked down the hallway dreading what was going to happen in the next minute. After sleeping maybe 30 minutes the night before, she had got up, and come to the arena. Now that she was there she had been ram-sacked with a million things to do. She was on item number 4 at the moment: Deliver the box of play station and dream cast games to the playroom. Normally she wouldn’t mind a task such as this. It didn’t cause her much labor and wouldn’t take up too much of her time.

But Justin was in the playroom. Justin and Joey and Lance.

She hadn’t seen him since Rick dragged her out of the club the night before and forced her into a car. She really didn’t want to see him ever again. By the time she had tried to think up ways to avoid him, she was there, at the door of the playroom, which was cracked open.

Justin was lying on the couch, face down, clearly chuckling, even though his eyes were closed. Lance was flipping through a magazine and occasionally looking up at Joey with an amused grin as Joey told his story.

Joey's hands moved as he talked, making him very animated. "So, I'm sitting there watching right? It's all hot and shit. I mean the one girl has got her hands all up on the other girl. Dude I'm talking about straight up D's. They were big. But not too big to where their all gross and shit. And I don’t think they were fake either, which I was surprised at. And RIGHT when one of the girls started to eat out the other…Kelly walks in."

Justin groaned out with a laugh, "Ohhh shit." Then he turned his head the other way, facing the back of the couch.

"That's what I was thinking. I mean I was just flipping through. It's not my fault Showtime has porn at night."

"Did she get pissed?" Lance asked not looking up from the magazine.

"Actually no. This is the best." Kristen rolled her eyes. Of course they would be talking about porn. Of course Joey would. She sighed to herself and continued on watching unnoticed. Joey shifted in his seat and got a devilish look in his eyes. "So she comes in and is like "Joseph what on earth are you watching?!" and I'm all like "I'm just flipping baby…it was funny…what are you up to.." all that bull shit. And you'll never guess what she did."

"What?" Lance threw w the magazine on the coffee table and started to stretch his arms.

After waiting a moment for some type of effect she figured he said, "She lay down beside me and when I turned the channel she told me….to turn it back to tha porno!"

Justin's head turned back towards Joey. His eyes were open now. "Dude..Kel watched a porno with you?"

"It wasn’t that kinky…but still it was porn and girl on girl at that." He sat back and in an arrogant manner, crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. Kristen wanted to throw up. The other day she was thinking about how attractive lesbianism seemed. Now with Justin being a complete asshole and Joey proving that all men were pathetic pigs, she was about to make that declaration.

Lance casually asked, "Did you do it afterwards.?"

"Nosey ass."

"Well did you." Dammit Justin, she thought. Of course he had to say something. It was only three words but his voice was gravely and mischievous. The lesbian thing was forgotten.

"Fuck yeah." Joey said then slapped hands with Lance's outstretched one.

"Where was Brianna?" Justin asked.

Joey looked off to the side and smiled like he couldn’t remember. "Um…"

"Dude!" Lance sat forward a little on his chair and his eyes widened.

"She was asleep in Chris’s room, gees." Joey shrugged and started to chuckle a little.

Justin flipped over on his back and sighed. A minute later he busted into laughter and exclaimed, "You left her with Chris?!"

Kristen figured she had heard enough of the bad-parenting and sexual activities Joey participated in. So she pushed the door open fully, letting it smack into the wall and blew some hair out of her face. "I personally prefer Cinemax for my soft core porn, but whatever."

Three heads turned to her. Six eyes widened. But Justin was the only one that shot up in his and said breathlessly, "W-what?"

"Oh yeah, the door was open. Don’t mind me I'm just delivering games." She rolled her eyes and walked over to the coffee table p lacing the small box down.

"Ooo what'd you bring?" Lance asked.

"I don’t know I haven’t opened it yet. I gotta go though. Unlike some people I have shit to do. Lance you're responsible. Will you check off the order form and make sure they all came for me."

He looked up at her and smiled sincerely. It made her feel more at ease in the room. She didn’t really like Joey and it was no question why she didn’t want to be in the room with Justin. "Surely."

"Thanks. Just leave the form on the table or something. See ya." She turned quickly, trying not to be caught catching glimpses of Justin. She was almost out the door and on her way to freedom when her body was forced to a halt, the air in her lungs disappeared and she started feeling dizzy.

"Wait." What did he want from her?

She turned, put her hands on her hips and sighed. Her eyebrows raised in a silent response. "Since when did you watch porn?"

Her gray eyes rolled sharply and let her hands fall like weights beside her, hitting her thighs. "It was a joke Justin. But what the hell would you know anyway?"

Joey laughed and it faded into, "Aww, come on little Kristen, you know you don’t watch it."

"Oh really?" She challenged. She was now fully pissed off. She was in a bad mood, it was a bad day and they were bad company. Joey had no right to pretend he knew who she was or what she did. Oh that pissed her off. And Justin was just sitting there with a smirk on his face.

There were times in her life when she wished she own a machine gun.

"Watch what?"

She jumped when a hand was placed on her shoulder and a voice came beside her. She looked and saw JC standing there smiling at her genuinely.

Lance yawned. "Hey C. Porn."

"You watch porn?" He asked surprised looking at her hard.

She shrugged. "Maybe."

"Right." Lance said sarcastically. She didn’t like Lance. Any nice thing she ever said about him: she hated now.

In truth she didn’t know why this made her so mad. At least they didn’t think she was a slut. Still, it got on her nerves that they saw her as nothing more than a little girl. Especially that that’s all Justin saw her as.

"Lil innocent Kristen. Honey do you know what sex is?" Joey said like he was talking to a child.

She hated Joey.

"Hilarious," she said in a monotone voice, staring at him like she was ready to rip his head off with her bare hands.

"You are pretty virginal."

She hated Justin the most. But at the same time she was a little hurt. He had kissed her and she had flirted with him before and him back, and now he thought of her as an innocent pure girl that knew nothing. She wasn’t naïve like they assumed and she wasn’t miss perfect as they thought. She stared at him and could tell she was getting to him when he bit his lip and looked away, pretending to be interested in a magazine on the coffee table. "How would you know?"

"You’re the one that watches sesame street." He said in a smart ass tone.

She snapped. "It's quality programming! At least I don’t watch a fuckin porno with my boyfriend and leave my child with my psychotically immature friend who was probably paying more attention to..to..a comic book than a little baby! God you’d think at least ONE of you would have a brain. You'd think ONE of you would act..normal..just..UGHH!!!"

When the silence lasted more than 30 seconds and all that you could hear was her heavy breathing she growled one more time in frustration and stalked out of there on a mission to leave that room, that place, that tour, that life for good.

She had gotten to the end of the hallway when she heard him speak. "Wait up."

The worst part about this whole thing was that Justin sounded sincere. She could hear his footsteps speeding up behind her to catch up and when she looked over her shoulder she saw his forehead was wrinkled and he looked worried.

She didn’t want to deal with her emotions and hormones and conscious at that moment so she brushed him off. "Go away I don’t wanna talk to you." And with that she started to lightly jog.

"WAIT!" He’s voice was half laughter, half serious, like your father coming down on you in disbelief.

"GO AWAY!" But it was too late. She felt his arms around her and felt the weight being taken off her feet as she was lifted up in the air.

His voice growled in her ear. "Just because you are pissed at me because im an asshole gives you no reason to act like a total bitch to everyone else."

"PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN." She was causing a scene and she didn’t care. She wanted people to think she was crazy, maybe they’d kick her off the tour and she wouldn’t have to deal with Justin and all the mess that surrounded him.

He took her into their quiet room, slammed the door behind him with a slam of his foot and dropped her carelessly on the couch. "Fine."

"Thank you," she said in the bitchiest voice she could find.

He stood there in front of her with his cross over his chest for a minute before finally saying, "You wanna bitch, go ahead and bitch me out."

"I don’t have anything to say to you."

She looked down at her nails and pretended to pick at them, trying her best to ignore him and the whole situation. "Then why'd you just go ballistic."

She stood up off the couch and challenged him. She was shorter than him by almost a foot but she didn’t care. She was going to get her point across even if it killed her. "They treat me …you too…like im 5 years old. Dammit I'm almost 20, just because I'm the youngest person here doesn’t mean you people have to treat me this way. Wow, I know what sex is..big fucking deal."

He sighed and his eyes softened at her. "You’re just..youre like our little sister-…ok to them you are.."

Her eyes started to water. She wanted him to say more, to tell her what she was to him. There was no mistake that there was something there between them, attraction, lust, friendship, something. She wanted to hear it from his mouth. But as she began to talk she lost the courage to ask him what she wanted. "Then what am I to you Justin, some little slut you can ..never mind."

"Look, last night was one big mistake. The reason why is because I was drunk. I was stupid."

Oh, that made her feel a million times better. She had already pushed it into her mind that he wouldn’t want to kiss her, ever and now he was just pushing the point even more. She thought she could explode. She laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah..."

He dipped his head a little and caught her eyes with his gaze. She wasn’t the most experience person in the world when it came to guys, but she wasn’t dumb either, and the way he was looking at her right then seemed to have a lot more meaning behind it than just a friendly work relationship. "Kristen if I wanted to kiss you I wouldn’t do it while I was drunk. And I wouldn’t do it the way I did."

She pressed for more. She wanted to hear what he really felt. "What do you mean?"

He stepped closer. She wanted to step back, away from him, but the couch was blocking her. "I would take my time and I'd do it sober because I would want to remember it and savor it."

"But you don’t want to kiss me so you…"

"You don’t know that. I spent all last night thinking about you."

She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if he was just making this stuff up to make her feel better or if he was telling the truth. And if he was telling the truth what did he mean he spent all last night thinking of her. Did that mean he WANTED to kiss her? Did that mean he LIKED kissing her? Why was he moving closer and why was he licking his lips?

He wasn’t drunk now. And if he kissed her he wouldn’t have anything to blame it on except himself.

"Um thanks."

"Really, I couldn’t sleep because I was so torn up that I had hurt you." He did his little half Justin smile and she tried not to just jump him right then and there. Maybe she was getting her period because her hormones were definitely going hay-wire.

"Is this supposed to be a pick up line?"

He returned her smile with a brighter one. "It’s the truth."

Then her smile dropped. "Well it’s not working."

Justin sighed and pushed some of her hair out of her face. It was a simple gesture but one she wouldn’t let anyone else do without being verbally bashed and possibly castrated. With Justin she just kept staring at him, mesmerized. She was starting to wonder if the thought in her head and the feelings in her body were starting to show in her actions. "I didn’t think it would. I just don’t want you hating me. And I don’t want you taking it out on the other guys."

"Joey deserved it."

"Why do you hate Joey so much?"

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him. Damn, if he didn’t look good enough to eat right then… "He gets on my nerves."

"He gets on mine too," Justin laughed.

She pushed past him, afraid that she would do something she regretted. She stretched her arms over her head and pretended to be bored with the whole conversation. "Ya know, I'm not as virginal as he says."

He plopped down on the couch and cocked and interested eyebrow at her. "Oh really."

So now he was mocking her. God he pissed her off and he was looking so fuckin causal and cool and good just sitting there with his legs a little spread and his arms draped across the back of the couch. She wanted to go crawl up by him and tell him everything she knew and have him talk to her and kiss her and hold her and she wanted him to like her, like she liked him.

But that was impossible. He was Justin Timberlake and she was the toy girl just tagging along for the ride. The room was starting to get hot and she was having trouble breathing. She rolled her eyes and headed for the door. "Yes really!"

His head tilted a little and his eyes squinted at her. "Why does that piss you off. What's going on Kirsten."

"Nothing ok." She opened the door and got ready to walk out.

"Fine..." He mumbled. She looked over him and watched him sigh and close his eyes, covering his face with his hands.

"Fine!" She snapped back at him and stalked out the door. She started out walking fast and then slowed down in preparation and hopes that he would come after her.

Soon she had slowed down to where she was leaning against the hallway wall, staring down the corridor at the door to the room she had just left. But 5minutes later he hadn’t come after her, hadn’t even left the room.

She didn’t know why she acted the way she did with him and she didn’t know why she got worked up so easily, but now, faced with the fact that she had fallen for a guy that was out of her league she wanted to do nothing more than crawl up in a ball and cry. And then go back to Michigan and away from all the confused that surrounded her here

-------

That night sucked. The whole day had but that night especially did. There had been a tornado warning in the area and the show had been delayed about an hour. That night they weren’t going back to the hotel, they were driving straight to the next city. She didn’t even know where they were or where they were going.

The trailer had been packed but the van hadn’t been fixed. Rick had disappeared and she didn’t know where to go or who she was riding with that night.

She looked at her watch. 12:08

She could hear the mass of screaming girls echo through the hallways of the back area of the stadium. It was a dull continuous noise that would every once in a while raise in volume and pitch. It was giving her a migraine.

"What’s up?"

She jumped and clutched her hand to her chest. "Fuckin shit Rick!"

"What?" He was casually leaning against the wall beside her. She hadn’t noticed him at all and for someone that was usually pretty in tune with her surroundings, this wasn’t good.

"Don’t scare me like that."

"Sorry, gonna ride with the boys tonight?"

She shrugged her shoulders against the white wall. "Uh, you tell me?"

"We'll get a van by the end of the week."

"What the hell is the delay, is it really an issue to buy a new van? I'm sure it doesn’t really cost that much compared to everything else."

"We gotta get a good one though."

She rolled her eyes. He was annoying, everything was annoying that day. She wanted to be left laone."Whatever."

It was silent for a while and then Rick ruffled her hair a little and asked, "You doin ok? You’ve kind of been outta it today."

"Fine."

"Ya know if you wanan talk about last-"

She cut him off with a hard voice, staring straight in front of her. "I don’t wanna talk about last night."

"Ok. See ya in Chicago sweetie." He was about 10 feet away from her when it registered in her brain how close they were to her home state.

"Hey we gonna be in Michigan soon?"

He turned to her and smiled. "You know it. Next place after Chicago. Detroit what?"

With a curled nose and a wave of her hand she dismissed him. "Uh…go away."

"See ya kid."

She stayed against the wall for a few more minutes until she grabbed up her backpack and headed for the buses. She figured if she were asleep or..at least pretending to be a sleep by the time Chris and Justin got on the bus, she wouldn’t have to deal with them.

She said hey to James and he informed her that the bunk under Justin's had been cleared out for her for the time being. She quickly went to the bathroom and changed into her pjs and then got in her bunk and closed her eyes, praying that a death-like sleep would come over her and she wouldn’t wake up until the next morning; after they had arrived in Chicago and after Justin had gotten up and left the bus.

About ten minutes later she was no where near sleep and she felt the bus’s engine crank. Minutes afterward, yelling seared her ears.

“Holy FUCK that was an awesome show!”

“Dude we sounded like heaven! Knock-knock knocking on heaven’s doorrrrr.”

James voice was loud but in a whisper, “Hush kids! There’s a lady on board trying to sleep. Sometimes I wonder if yall’s momma’s taught yall anything.”

“James my momma…”

Chris laughed loudly. “Yes Justin we know….Oh Kristennnn, you awake?”

“Man, leave her alone.” Justin’s voice was calm and cautious.

“Hey, I didn’t try and make out with...”

“Shut up.” Justin said.

And she agreed with him, yelling from her bunk in a aggravated tone, “YES PLEASE! I’m TRYING to sleep.”

Her curtain was slung open and she saw Chris standing there, sweaty with a bright smile. “Hey baby doll.”

She glared. “Go to hell Chris.”

He put his hands up in defense and walked past the bunks to the back room. “Whoa….hello to you too.”

She was left with Justin staring at her. He smiled a little and said in a small voice, “Hey.”

She didn’t know what to do at first. She stared at him and when he started to lick his lips she glared at him as well and said “bye” in a harsh voice and then slung her curtain back, making sure she huffed and puffed as she did.

She turned over in the bunk, placed the pillow over her head, and tried her best to drown out the quiet chit chat the guys were making. She thought they had finally stopped and gone to bed so she pulled the pillow off her head and situated herself more comfortably in the small space. She opened her eyes and noticed the light was still on in the bus and was going to make a move to turn it off, but when she caught a glimpse of the crack of space that wasn’t covered by the curtain, she saw him.

He was standing there shirtless and she tried her best to close her eyes and forget it but she found herself fixated on him. It was horrible and pathetic but he looked so good, muscular but not like he was on steroids or anything.

The more personal parts of her started to stir and she really wondered if she could ever be a seductress.

Who the hell was she kidding? She was innocent little Kristen. Non-sexual, Non-attractive, and Non-Justin Timberlake’s.

She wished she could beat herself up literally. She really needed a good beating to bring her down to reality.

What the hell was she doing liking him? What the hell was she doing thinking maybe the kiss from the night before was more than a drunk mistake? What the hell was she doing lying there wondering what the hell she was doing liking Justin Timberlake?

She turned on her side, facing the other way and closed her eyes. She then heard a sigh and a grunt, the slight crack of pressure being put on the edge of the bunk above her. She heard him roll around above her. She heard Chris start to breath heavy. She heard Justin shuffle around some more.

And then it was silence, well besides the noise of Chris’s half-snoring and the constant hum of the road.