“There you are!” Alice shouted from her patio as JC approached their rooms. “I got a little worried when I didn’t see you at lunch. Everything ok?”

“Yeah, lots of stuff I’m just trying to sort out. You know how it is,” JC came over.

“That I do,” Alice gave a small smile. “Do you need to talk or…?”

“Probably but right now I’m starving. Pretty sure I smelled barbecue on my walk back.”

“Barbecue?!” Alice’s eyes lit up. “Like actual meat?”

“I don’t think I realized what a carnivore you are,” he chuckled.

“Don’t get me wrong, the food has been outstanding but some grass-fed, locally sourced, farm to my stomach good old fashioned cow would go a long way,” Alice smiled.

“So what you’re saying is a subscription to Omaha Steaks is a good birthday present?”

“Christmas is even closer,” Alice winked. “You need to shower or you good to go?”

“Fast rinse should do it. Don’t let me hold you up.”

“I can wait five minutes, JC. Six, well then, you’ll have to fend for yourself,” Alice laughed and JC gave her a quizzical look. “Ok, I thought it was funny,” she murmured once she saw his face.

“No, it was cute just…how do you do that?” he asked her.

“Do what?”

“Just, talk, that easily? I mean, the other day you could barely look at me and the whole bed thing…what changed? You don’t like me anymore?” he attempted to joke.

Alice could tell his question was sincere so decided to answer it directly. “JC, if I run from you this whole retreat, it will have been pointless for me to even come. I can’t spend every second worrying about what I say or how you’ll react to it because…well, that’s been every day of my life for so long with Donny. I’m here to help some of my problems, not continue to repeat them. And to answer your question, I do still like you very much,” Alice blushed.

JC couldn’t believe how much Alice had grown just in a few short days simply by getting the freedom to be herself. He didn’t know what was holding him back from being able to do the same. “I was thinking about this a lot today,” JC confessed. “The closer I get to people as of late, the harder it is for me to talk to them. You seem like it’s the opposite.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, part of it is feeling like I’ve already been talking to you for years. The only difference is that you answer me back now.”

“Huh?” JC‘s confusion grew.

“Never mind, too complicated to get into now,” she waved him off. “Go get your shower.” JC looked at Alice as a smile grew across his face. “What?”

“You’re cute.”

“You clearly have altitude sickness.”

“I’m serious,” JC grabbed her hand. “I’m…I’m really lucky to be in this with you. I just wanted to let you know that I…I care about you, a lot,” he swallowed, forcing himself to say at least something that was on his mind the way Kevin and Julian had suggested. Alice was proving to be an amazing test subject for combating a lot of his fears.

“I care about you too, JC. Not just the pop star I think I know but the you I’m getting to know. You’re…you are an incredibly caring man. Just, take some of that care for yourself every now and again,” she brushed a loose strand of hair out of his face.

“Alice…” JC breathed, not sure what else to say but feeling caught up in the moment. He pulled Alice a little closer and bent his head towards her own.

“Millie, what are you doing?” a booming voice rang out, causing JC and Alice to gasp and move apart in surprise.

“Goddammit, Jeff!” The bush about 50 feet away from them shook as Millie stumbled out, pulling a small twig out of her hair. “Sorry, dropped my glasses,” she laughed and waved at the couple as she started to hurriedly leave.

“I didn’t know you wore gl…,” Jeff didn’t get to finish as Millie punched him hard in the bicep then shoved him down the pathway toward the dining hall.

JC and Alice watched as the two left, both their faces flush with embarrassment. Nothing had happened but if they hadn’t been interrupted…

“You. Shower,” Alice told him, trying her best to be non-chalant.

“Uh, yeah,” JC scratched the back of his head. “Sure you don’t mind waiting?”

“Not at all but the smell of the food is wafting this way so you better hurry.”

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” he said as he cut through her room and into his own. “Fuck!” he exclaimed as he quickly disrobed and turned the shower on. His brain was in overdrive thinking about what he had almost done.

He missed Jen, he told himself, which of course was true. He missed her touch, her companionship, her smile, her body. Obviously he was getting his signals crossed with Alice being right there…right?

He groaned in frustration as his hand found his crotch with the washcloth. He was hard and aching. He didn’t masterbate much anymore as having Jen around all the time pretty much eliminated the need. His body wanted it though but he knew he didn’t have the time. Instead he turned the water colder to force him to finish up his shower quickly.

Alice sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall, replaying every single millisecond of her last interaction with JC. It felt like he was going to kiss her but it had been so long since she’d been kissed, she was trying to find the moment to confirm she was reading it wrong. She had to be confusing it with their walk that morning. His lips on her neck…Alice shuddered and let out a small moan at the memory. They’d been playing around and she ruined it by making it sexual. That had to be the same thing that was happening here.

JC knocked but a few minutes later and they made their way over to the barbecue. The spread of turkey burgers, chicken breast and shrimp was delicious but Alice was really beginning to wonder what the staff had against beef.

Alice got up to get another scoop of cucumber salad as Millie deftly slid in next to her. “I just knew you two were going to hit it off,” Millie squealed with delight. “I want to know every detail.”

“What detail? You saw everything from the bush,” Alice couldn’t help but laugh at Millie’s odd vested interest.

“That idiot loud mouth Jeff,” Millie fumed. “He works with Wall Street, you’d think he’d appreciate the art of spying.”

Alice turned to Millie, desperate for a second opinion. “Do you really think he was going to kiss me?”

“Baby, he is a smitten kitten,” Millie smiled brightly and looked back at JC, who quickly put his head back down into his helping of pesto potato salad to pretend he hadn’t been watching the whole interaction. “Have fun with him while you can.”

“Yeah, see, that’s the part that’s kind of the sticking point,” Alice admitted.

“You wanna take him home, don’t you?”

“In fantasy land, sure, but I know that’s not reality. Hell, this isn’t reality. Reality is the girlfriend waiting for him back home, on the other side of the country from me.”

“That sounds like his problem, not yours,” Millie stated bluntly. “You can’t worry about the decisions he makes.”

“Well, I also shouldn’t encourage them either,” Alice sighed, knowing that was the right course of action but wanting to be selfish just the same.

“Attention,” Vivienne stood at the front of the room, clapping her hands for everyone to grow silent. “Tonight marks the halfway point in your journey with us here at Silver Lake. You have all made tremendous progress in your short time and tonight we celebrate your growing transformations and usher in the next steps towards your goals. When you have finished your meal, please meet us outside.” With that, Vivienne turned and headed out the door with Ivan quick on her heels.

“I’m not doing any more drugs,” Alice said as she returned to the table with JC.

“You never know, you might end up with the *NSYNC vision this time,” JC gave a sly smile.

“Pretty sure I couldn’t have that vision in a public setting,” Alice laughed. “What do you think it is?”

“I don’t know. She said half way mark so maybe some group celebration?”

“Guess there’s only one way to find out,” Alice shrugged and finished up her food. The two went and joined the other participants outside as Vivienne had requested. She held a lit single candle in front of her as her robes flapped in the gentle breeze.

“You’ve happened to visit us on a very special night,” Vivienne began. “The full moon in all her glorious splendor is illuminating our path as we prepare to journey to our charging ceremony.”

Everyone looked up to find the moon large and bright as clouds quickly moved past it. Alice couldn’t deny there was an energy to the evening but wasn’t sure if she liked it. “Charging ceremony?” she whispered to JC. “What the hell does that mean?”

“No idea but it’s feeling very ritualistic,” JC observed as candles were slowly being passed out to each guest.

“Fuck, it is a cult, isn’t it?” Alice grimaced. 

“Feels more Wiccan in nature to me,” JC was thinking it through.

“Oh hell no. I saw The Craft, I know what fucking with spirits and shit can do.”

“Pretty sure that movie wasn’t entirely accurate,” JC chuckled. 

“Wait a minute: how do you know about Wicca? Weren’t you raised Mennonite?” Alice questioned.

“I’ve always found it interesting what people put their faith in so I know the basic principles but that’s about it. You should know by now I’m more than just what you read in an old magazine,” JC winked.

Alice blushed hard. “Sorry. Fan girl knowledge rears it’s ugly head once again.”

“Don’t worry about it, Alice. It’s weird but cool you remember that detail about me,” JC reassured her.

“I remember a lot of details about you,” Alice said quietly. JC looked at her with mild surprise. Ever since meeting Alice, he knew she had a crush on the public image of him but for some reason he was really seeing how the line between friend and fan was getting blurred and had yet to determine if he liked it.