JC and Alice were given their candles as the group began their walk down into the valley to finally rest at the edge of the lake. Vivienne stood at the water’s edge as the guests surrounded her in a semi-circle. “Each full moon, we re-consecrate the waters of this lake using its energy. As part of this ceremony, we invite you to select a piece of quartz that speaks to you that we will gift to this lake and the lake will return as a gift to you.”

Alice and JC exchanged looks before crossing over to the bit of land beside Vivienne that she indicated. There lay dozens of clear crystal quartz in all shapes and sizes. Alice scanned the selection, not really finding anything that jumped out for her own use, but nonetheless leaned in and picked up a nearly circular cloudy gem, about the size of a quarter.

“That one’s nice,” JC said offhandedly as he continued to look.

“This one’s yours,” Alice told him. JC turned and looked at her quizzically. “Don’t ask me why but…it just is,” Alice put the gem in his palm. “Fuck, this place is getting to me,” Alice chuckled.

JC closed his fingers over the gem and smiled. He found it sweet Alice had picked out something for him and wanted to return the gesture. He knelt down to run his fingers along a slender piece that looked like it had broken off another. It was frosted like ice and fragmented too many times to count in the middle but it was deceptively smooth to the touch and the moonlight danced off it brilliantly. It was perfect.

“Here,” JC stood and handed his find to Alice. “Trust me on this.”

Alice turned over the bit of glass in her hand and looked at JC. “I trust you,” she told him earnestly.

Once everyone had picked their piece, they returned to their spots around Vivienne. “These crystals have been out here being grounded in the earth all day. I ask you all to take your crystal in your dominant hand, palm open, and your candle in the other as we infuse the elements of fire and air into your crystal.

Alice took a long breath and followed suit. This whole thing felt weird but she wasn’t about to balk at it simply because she didn’t understand it. “Now,” Vivienne started again, “close your eyes and think back to your intention you started the week with. How have you progressed? What work still needs to be done? Is this still the intention you wish to achieve or have you discovered something new within yourself?”

JC had been broad by saying he wanted to find himself again. That wasn’t necessarily untrue but just in the past few days, he was finding the issue wasn’t so much trying to be the man he used to be but accepting the one he’d grown into. He felt like his life hadn’t changed while everyone else’s did and that simply wasn’t true, his was just a lot less flashy than it used to be, by his own design. He was comfortable but that comfort had turned to laziness, which he didn’t like. He wanted to find the purpose of this relaxed lifestyle and actually live it instead of feel suffocated by it.

Alice wasn’t sure if she’d really gotten anywhere with her intention. She felt less inhibited than when she arrived, that was for sure. She thought about the events of the past few days with JC; their hikes, their movie night, helping each other in the obstacle course, her breakdown in the sauna, their near kiss earlier that evening…she was finally getting to be the woman she’d hoped she’d be. When she wrote that intention, she’d meant by finding confidence in herself and not letting anyone else take that from her ever again. The universe, however, was giving her the baffling opportunity to literally be the woman she’d always wanted by pretending to be JC Chasez’s…something for the week. It still didn’t make sense in her brain.

“Focus on your intention,” Vivienne reminded them all. “Clear your mind of unrelated thoughts. Visualize the words of your original intention or new one in your mind. Repeat the words to yourself as you feel them travel from your mind, down through your throat, run through the ventricles of your heart then slide down your arm to your stone. Feel the words be absorbed into the stone and close your fingers around it securely once you feel this has been completed and open your eyes.”

JC stood serenely and concentrated on everything Vivienne had said. He gave himself a new intention and mantra: Find your purpose, find your voice. JC took the imagery Vivienne provided and let the words move through him, settling into his right palm. After a few minutes, his palm began to feel warm so he closed his fist with a smile, feeling whatever was supposed to happen having done so.

“This takes different time for everyone, don’t force it, let the process naturally progress,” Vivienne announced. She saw JC and two others with their closed fists and summoned them closer. JC carefully made his way though the others to stand at the water’s edge with Vivienne.

“The final part of this ceremony is to release that intention into the water’s of Silver Lake for blessing and guidance,” Vivienne told them. She took a few steps into the lake and knelt as JC and the others followed suit. “Put your closed hand into the water and once it is fully submerged, open your fingers to let your gem with your intention be welcomed by the renewing energy of the lake.”

JC did as instructed and as he opened his hand, was instantly transfixed by what he saw. The reflection of the moonlight through the water hitting the gem made it appear to glow. His brain tried to rationalize what he was seeing but was too caught up in the beauty and awe to care about the reasoning at this moment. 

Vivienne began to intone. “We choose to cleanse ourselves and release any and all energies that are no longer of service to our highest and greatest good. We ask that as we release these forces from our bodies, minds and souls, we are replenished with nurturing and guidance to care for us along the next steps of our journey.”

JC’s eyes widened as the stone he was holding began to turn a faint blue. JC moved the stone, convinced it must be refracting the light in some dazzling way, but no matter what direction he manipulated it, the color remained the same.

“Your vishuddha is blocked and unbalanced,” Vivienne spoke over JC, who looked up at her quickly, unaware she had moved. “Your stone is saying your voice is stifled. I’ll make sure you are scheduled for an assessment and alignment tomorrow.” JC stared at the woman dumbfounded as she smiled down at him and casually ran a hand through his hair like he was a puppy getting a reassuring pet before moving onto the next person. How the hell had she known?!

Alice was growing frustrated. Once again, her imagination was failing her when it came to these types of exercises and she just felt silly. She debated just playing along at this point to get it over with so she could have the same experience as everyone else.

“You ok, Alice?” she heard a whisper. She opened one eye to see JC looking at her with quiet concern.

Alice sighed and whispered back. “I suck at this. I have no idea what I’m doing or why this isn’t working or…”

“Shhhh, it’s ok,” JC told her. “Let me help you.”

“Ok,” Alice agreed. She was trying to read JC but something wasn’t clicking. He had this peaceful yet vibrant energy about him Alice had never gotten from him before. There was an assuredness about him Alice only recognized in memory that felt familiar and inviting.

JC was riding a weird natural high and wanted Alice to experience the same. He still wasn’t sure what was going on or how Vivienne seemed to seamlessly diagnose his problem but it was clear to him some kind of unexplained magic was in the air and he wanted more to enjoy it than understand it.

“What’s your intention, Alice?” he asked. “Is it the same as before?”

“Yeah but not really. I mean, I don’t know if I’m really working on me or not. This isn’t how things are going to be when I get home and I don’t…”

“Stop,” JC cut her off. “One sentence. What do you need?”

“I need to just be me,” Alice blurted out before she could think of a better way to put it.

“Ok,” JC smiled. He outstretched Alice’s hands again and stood behind her. “Is it ok if I touch you?”

“I don’t recall you asking permission before,” she joked then pulled herself together. “Yeah, no, go head, you’re fine.”

“Shut your eyes,” JC told her in a hushed tone. Alice did so as she felt JC’s hands begin to rub over her shoulders. “Just relax. Clear your mind and think about what you said. Just those words. Don’t analyze them or try to explain their meaning. Focus on them and them alone.”

Alice sighed as she allowed JC to lull her into a nice peaceful state. His touch and his voice were irresistibly soothing and the only chore was concentrating on her task instead of him.

Once JC felt the gentle sway of Alice’s body under his hands, he glided one up and into Alice’s hair. His index finger pressed gently against a spot. “This is where that thought resides, right where my finger is. As I move my finger, that thought is going to drag along with it until we reach your palm. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” Alice breathed. In truth, she would have done anything JC requested of her but was feeling more than pliable at the moment. She felt JC massage the spot on her head and silently repeated her mantra until it was all she could think about.

Alice felt JC slowly slide his finger towards her temple and concentrated on feeling the words move in her body to keep in connection with him. This certainly wasn’t the type of visualization she was used to but was finding it much easier to do with JC’s help. His fingertip curved down her cheek and circled around to run along her throat as Alice worked to keep up.

JC smiled as he heard Alice give the barest whisper to her words as his finger slowly traveled down to her chest to circle intricately over her heart, mimicking the blood flow so she could feel the words travel through her. He could feel Alice relax against him the more he continued and knew she was right in the zone she needed to be.

He dragged his finger down the inside of Alice’s arm as Alice envisioned the words running down it, hooked onto an invisible string that JC was pulling. JC finally rested his fingertip squarely on the quartz in Alice’s hand, pressing the stone firmly into her palm. “Just imagine the words residing here. Release them from inside you and let them breathe.”

Alice focused all her energy onto doing as JC requested. It still felt silly to be standing by a lake in the moonlight and putting all her hopes into a damn rock but if JC thought it would help, she was going to stop second guessing it and give herself over to whatever the hell it was they were doing. She imagined the words bubbling up through her hand and into the gem, the inanimate object now beginning to pulse slightly as it took in her intentions.

“What the fuck?” Alice popped open her eyes to stare, trying to make sense of the sensation she was feeling.

“Stay in it,” JC whispered as his fingers moved over hers, making her curl them slowly over the stone. “Whatever you’re feeling, just go with it.”

Alice turned her head to look at JC. She was met with warm, calming eyes that affected her even beneath the hue of his tinted glasses. She felt lost and found at the exact same time and wanted more than anything to be enveloped in whatever feelings it was that JC was giving off. Then it hit her; she actually was. He was looking at her, just her, like that.

JC could tell something clicked for Alice as her eyes nearly became saucers as she stared back at him. He fought off a smile as he gave her a moment to bask in whatever feeling she was enjoying. This was the calmest he’d seen her and with the moonlight dancing off her skin, JC had to admit the most beautiful.

“Come on,” he finally whispered, leading her down to the water’s edge to join Vivienne. Alice knelt as JC had before, following Vivienne’s instructions as she recited the same incantation. Alice watched the water, swearing she felt bubbles forming around her hand as the gem gleamed in the moonlight a brilliance she almost had to look away from. As she focused again, the light settled and seemed to show tiny bits of yellow emanating from the middle of the stone.

“You have a shadow over your manipura,” Vivienne looked over, “but it is fading, see.” Vivienne moved Alice’s hand so she could observe the color move against the broken edges slowly. “It is understandable but we must remedy this as soon as possible. I will handle this personally and schedule time for us tomorrow to address.”

“Um, ok,” was all Alice could say, not having understood most of the words Vivienne had just said. She stared back at the gem, trying to figure out what chemical wizardry had caused the reaction with the water. There had to be a science behind it because there was no way any of this could just be…real?

After all the guests had gone, the group traveled back up to the resort to retire for the evening. Everyone seemed to be in a happy though confused euphoric state at what had transpired and given renewed energy to look forward to the rest of the journey.

“So, that was…uh…” JC struggled to find the words as he and Alice stood at their respective doors.

“Weird?”

“Disarming. Intense yet…”

“Intimate,” Alice looked at him.

“Yeah, intimate,” JC gulped. 

“What did you do to me back there?” Alice asked in wonderment.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know exactly. Just the way you were talking to me and ummm, touching me. It just…I’ve never felt anything like that before, with anyone.”

“Not even…”

“With anyone,” Alice repeated.

JC stared at her. “I’m not really sure what happened but I just went with it. Something about the energy, the atmosphere, it just felt good…freeing. I wanted you to feel that too. I wanted to share it, to have that…”

“Connection,” Alice nearly whispered.

“Yeah,” JC breathed, looking at her.

Alice desperately wanted to continue what had seemingly been cut off earlier. Every impulse wanted to pull JC into a mind blowing kiss and touch him in the way she’d always imagined. It felt right and she cautiously stepped closer.

JC didn’t flinch but something in the pit of his stomach was stirring…or maybe lower. He felt it too. It had been building rapidly all week, this growing need to…to… JC couldn’t put his finger on it. Part of him selfishly wanted to understand, to feel how he had somehow helped Alice for all these years. He wanted to feel the connection back but didn’t know how to express it.

Alice saw a need in JC’s expression and she paused. It wasn’t lust but almost pleading, but for what? She couldn’t read him. She reached up and pushed JC’s glasses up to rest on his head. JC blinked several times as his eyes adjusted and settled back on Alice.

His eyes were a soft blue with the faintest streaks of gold flickering in them. Alice could stare at them for hours and in fact had done so on some of her worst nights. Now here they were, here he was, finally, just for her.

The alarm bell of reality went off in Alice’s brain. Whatever they’d shared tonight was true and beautiful and something that she would remember for the rest of her life. She still, however, could not rationalize a world where JC Chasez would want her. He had an amazing life and he was making great strides to remember that. She genuinely wanted to remain a part of that life and ruining it now over her unrequited feelings were suddenly no longer an option. After how close they’d gotten, she couldn’t bear the rejection.

“Goodnight, JC,” Alice said softly and indulged only slightly as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Her lips lingered slightly, wanting to savor the moment, before forcing herself away. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Goodnight Alice, and thank you,” JC replied. He didn’t want her to leave but couldn’t get his mouth to work to voice it. He wanted her companionship, to relish in this connection they were experiencing just a little while longer. He hadn’t felt this emotionally tied to someone in so long and just laying in bed and having another movie night was something he was desperately craving. Yet, as he watched Alice turn and unlock her door, he somehow knew if he invited her over, the situation would not remain so innocent. The electricity between them was enticing but dangerous and JC knew he couldn’t be trusted.

Alice shut her door with a heavy sigh. She reminded herself yet again to keep the focus on the friendship and stop reading into things that obviously weren’t there. Millie was just trying to boost her ego but there was no way he would ever feel attracted towards her.

Pulling off her wet leggings, shoes and socks from the lake, Alice flung herself on her bed. Every day had felt like a whirlwind but this was the biggest tornado as of yet. She couldn’t deny that she and JC were getting physically closer as they grew to know one another each day. It made sense but whenever he’d put an arm around her or grab her hand while they walked…the excitement would never get old.

Alice wriggled on the bed as the memory of JC on top of her that morning came rearing back to the forefront. Her eyes popped open and looked down as she realized she still had one more wet article of clothing on her body. She dipped a hand under the waistband of her panties and gasped. Alice peered toward the opposite wall. He’d never know if she was quiet enough, Alice thought devilishly to herself as she bent her knees and opened her legs wide, letting the memory of JC fuel her thoughts instead of simply her home spun fantasies this time around.

Barely fifteen feet away, JC leaned against the shower wall as his hand ran deftly over his swollen cock. The tension had gotten too much for him and he let his own little fantasy play out in his mind of what could have been. He wasn’t sure if any of it was actually what he wanted in reality but right now the mental image of Alice jacking him nice and slow while he touched and kissed all over her body was exactly what he wanted to indulge in. It wasn’t about the sexual act, it was about the need for connection. That’s what had been missing from his life and here this woman was giving it to him in spades.

With a shuddering groan, JC came hard into the tub below, his knees nearly buckling as he experienced the release his body and soul needed. Alice had a brief thought that she heard something as her orgasm hit her, quickly grabbing a pillow and covering her face to muffle her scream. The two panted, trying to catch their breath, staring at the wall that separated them, unknowing of the other’s actions.