Alice felt her smile through her whole body as she made her way back to her room. She felt…better and was understanding the natural high JC was currently on as well. She knew the feeling wouldn’t last forever and she wanted to enjoy it, with him. She’d spent so much of the week wondering why she was getting to be with him and only fleeting moments taking the experience in. Tonight, all she wanted was to sit and talk and laugh and cuddle and be present.

She skipped her own room and went straight for JC’s, knocking rapidly at the door, her excitement to see him beginning to overflow. It didn’t matter that she’d just seen him less than two hours prior or that she would in the morning, she wanted to enjoy every precious second while she could.

Another knock came in succession when he didn’t answer, assuming he was probably in the bathroom. If he’d gone out, he’d be back soon enough, Alice reasoned. Maybe he was out on the patio again with his guitar.

She went to head to her room when she heard something behind JC’s closed door. Alice put her head to the wood and could hear a muffled voice, presumably JC’s. Realizing he was most likely on the phone, she eased off and moved to her door once again to wait until he was done.

That was until she heard a crash and the sound of JC’s voice rise in volume. She knocked again more urgently. “JC, is everything ok? JC?” She waited a moment, hoping he would open the door any second. Instead, she heard a loud thump.

Panicked, Alice managed to get her door open and sprinted through and out onto her patio. She could hear JC yelling as she climbed the partition between their areas and landed on his porch. The privacy curtain was half open and she could see JC pacing frantically inside.

The sliding door was cracked open so she made her way in quickly and observed the scene. One of the side table lamps lay shattered on the ground, the concierge phone dangling off the hook and beeping. A tea kettle was apparently thrown against the wall as Alice could see the water dripping down and running on the carpet. The bench that normally occupied the space at the end of bed was in tact but on its side and near her feet by the back door.

JC hadn’t even noticed her as he spoke feverishly into his phone. “How the fuck could this have happened, Eric?! I can’t…I can’t…I don’t…”

Alice could spot a panic attack a mile away thanks to Patrick’s unfortunate proclivity to them since Donny’s death. She knew whatever was happening, she had to be the calm one.

“JC, JC, look at me,” she said loudly to get his attention but didn’t move closer to him. The last thing she wanted was to spook him anymore.

JC turned toward her, his chest heaving like he couldn’t catch his breath. His eyes were red and unfocused as sweat ran down his temples. He’d somehow ripped a hole in his shirt and Alice could see his frame tremble underneath.

“It’s ok, JC. Whatever it is, it’s ok and I’m gonna stay with you to help you with it.”

Like he was jumping for a life raft, JC dropped the phone on the carpet and threw himself at Alice, clutching her so tightly she could feel how shallow his breathing was. The relief of having her there made his knees give way as he fell to the carpet. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her body tightly towards him as he buried his face in her stomach and wept. 

“How did they…they couldn’t…has to be a mistake,” JC got out between breaths.

“Honey, I don’t know what happened but I’m here to help you. Tell me what you need.”

“Can’t help…can’t help…” JC panted.

“JC, Jesus Christ, talk to me!” Alice heard the person on the phone shout. She awkwardly pivoted her body around and reached down to grab the phone.

“Who is this?” she asked.

“This is Eric, his manager. Who the hell is this?!” Eric asked in frustration.

“Just a friend. Alice,” she replied. “What happened? Is Jen ok?”

“Yes, she’s fine. No one’s dead just…tell him I’ll handle it. Christ Almighty!” Eric exclaimed and hung up the phone.

Not having much information to go off of, Alice put the phone in her back pocket and ran her fingers through JC’s hair, trying to soothe him. “Couldn’t, couldn’t, just…it was so long, only I have it, it doesn’t make sense. Must be wrong, gotta be wrong…” he muttered to himself.

“JC, honey, I need you to breathe, ok?” Alice tried to reason with him. “I just want to help you calm down so we can tackle whatever is happening clearly.” JC’s body shook and Alice ran through all the key things she would do when Patrick had an episode, trying to think of the best way to help JC.

An idea sparked in Alice’s brain and she realized this would either work or set off JC even worse but she was willing to take the risk. She tried to slowly remove JC’s hands but he clung to her tighter, his tears making her shirt damp.

“JC, I need you to get up,” she told him. When he didn’t move, she bent slightly and tugged at his arms. Reluctantly he stood, looking down and refusing to meet her eyes as he continued his sobs, his body shaking and wracked. Not twenty minutes earlier, his life has seemed like it was finally going in the right direction and now…

Alice looked around the room and found JC’s notebook discarded in a corner on the floor. She raced over and tore out a blank page and ripped it into a few small squares. She went back to JC and pulled him to face the opposite wall as she put up one of the squares against it. “Breathe JC. You know how to do this. Keep the paper steady.”

JC instead stopped breathing completely as he snapped his head up and stared wide eyed at Alice, his red face showing his utter shock plainly. “How…?”

“I saw a video of you doing this talking about breath control and it works for Patrick so just…don’t think too much about it and just do it,” Alice told him, embarrassed and starting to let her calmness slip. Everything that was happening was a side of JC she hadn’t seen nor ever imagined. This was real and it was throwing her for a loop.

JC continued to stare, trying to process how in the hell Alice would know this very particular trick, even though she’d just explained. It was too specific and he couldn’t understand if he was dealing with a stalker or an angel at the moment.

Alice turned his face to the wall again. “Blow,” she told him and let go of the paper. JC let out a breath but the paper began to flutter to the floor. Alice quickly grabbed it and put it back in the same spot. “Again. Slower,” she instructed him.

Minutes ticked by like hours as Alice gently rubbed JC’s back and worked to calm his breathing. JC’s mind was reeling, not only from his call with Eric but at what he was even doing. His body knew instantly what to do but his mind couldn’t help thinking of the real angel up in heaven who had even taught him this breathing exercise. It was control to sustain him when singing but would she be proud of how he was using it in this moment or sad to see him in such a state?

JC’s body gave way again and Alice was quick to grab him and hold him up. She let him cry a few moments before starting the exercise over again. Alice tried to imagine what had caused such a reaction from JC given that Eric seemed to confirm no one was injured. Whatever it was was important to JC however so that’s all that mattered.

Once Alice felt JC was finally calm enough and the paper was staying floating in place, she carefully made her way to the bathroom and grabbed him a glass of water. She came back and eased it into his hand as she caressed his back again. “JC, drink some water, slowly,” she told him. JC blinked and let the paper fall to the ground as he noticed the glass in his hand and did as she instructed him.

When he had finished the contents, Alice guided him to sit on the edge of the bed while she refilled the glass. He drank quicker this time, his throat raw from screaming and crying and still not fully recovered from his session with Ivan. “Thank you,” he croaked out.

“What can I do?” Alice asked as she took the glass from him.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “I don’t…I don’t understand what’s even happening.”

“Do you want some time to process? I can go…”

“No!” JC quickly grabbed her hand, pleading as much with his eyes as his words. “Please, stay.”

“Ok,” she told him, “I’m not going anywhere.”

The two sat in silence for some time, Alice not wanting to push and JC not even knowing how to explain. “Can I have my phone?” he finally asked. Alice reluctantly handed it over, not wanting to deny him but not sure this was the best idea either.

Alice watched as JC began taping and typing, not wanting to spy but also not wanting him to look at something that would set him off again. With a deep sigh, JC found what he’d been searching for, confirming his fears and Eric’s statements to be the truth. He flopped back on the mattress and stared up at the ceiling, unsure what to do.

The silence loomed large yet again as JC ran a million different scenarios through his mind and Alice waited as patiently as possible. Without a word, JC lifted up his hand and put his phone in Alice’s lap, still staring off into space. Alice tentatively picked it up and steeled herself for whatever she was about to see.

“The Story of Kate” album by NSYNCs JC Chasez leaks in full!