“Alice, you need to stay still for me,” Michael gently chided her again.

“But it tickles,” Alice laughed as the cool brush hit her knee cap again. Michael had taken her to a private room where she stripped and laid on a soft, cushioned bench. She had laid on her front first and didn’t mind her bare behind being exposed as Michael massaged some yummy smelling thick cream into her skin then brushed what he said was a conditioner over top that made her feel all tingly and glowy. It was so much fun that when he asked her to flip over, she didn’t even care about being naked anymore.

“Honey, I need you to spread your legs a little bit for me,” Michael instructed her.

“Ok, but bats might fly out,” Alice laughed at her own joke as she did so, only a small ting registering how odd it was being this free but ultimately exhilarating to do so.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going in your Cave of Wonders,” Michael joked back. “Just gotta get all of the outside of you covered.”

Alice squirmed slightly as she felt Michael’s hands caressing parts of her no one had touched in years. He was an absolute professional however and Alice was almost a little surprised she wasn’t getting turned on but she quickly realized it was just a thing that was happening. A good thing but not a sexual thing.

Down the hall, JC was in a similar state but by no means as animated as Alice. He laid perfectly still, staring up at the ceiling, as the masseuse worked on him. Whatever move Vivienne had done on him was like opening the flood gates on the drugs in his system so that while he was moderately aware of what was going on, he was nearly catatonic to the casual observer. His body was heavy but he felt light and airy. Moving and thinking logically were too hard at the moment and he was happy to just lay there and be manipulated however they saw fit.

He felt the cloth wraps go on first at his feet, slowly winding their way up, encasing his legs together, sealing in whatever elixir had been put onto his body. Next his torso was covered, followed by each arm then thicker bands holding his arms tight against his sides then afixing a towel to cover his neck. 

As his face was covered in the same creamy buttery mixture as his body, his nose picked up the same sickeningly sweet smell of honey that had permeated lunch. A near instantly firming facial mask was brushed over top as this time he didn’t fight the aroma and let it drown him in relaxation and happiness, only vaguely able to think he probably looked more like a mummy now than he had in that old video.

Alice watched as the lights in the corridor whizzed by above her as all she could do was look upward. Every part of her body was wrapped up tight and it felt like the best weighted blanket in existence. She finally found herself moved into another room, the ceiling opening up into a large dome, like she was in a planetarium. It was mostly silent but she could hear murmured voices and wheels being locked into place. She knew the group was all back together and felt a warmth coming over her knowing JC was nearby even if she couldn’t see him.

“Tell me tomorrow how it goes,” Michael whispered to her before her ears were encased in a set of headphones, low ambient music pleasantly drowning out the movement in the room. Alice instantly relaxed into it.

“Hello everyone,” Vivienne’s soft voice finally broke through to Alice’s ears. She had no concept of how long she’d been laying there and frankly didn’t care. “I’m happy to see you all nice and relaxed and ready to take this journey together.”

“The purpose of a body wrap is to provide a natural way to remove toxins from the body and restore it in a relaxing way. So too we aim to remove the toxins of the mind by creating a safe, nurturing cocoon around ourselves today which will elicit a more healthful feeling of body and mind when we are finished.”

Again, Alice felt a glow inside her, able to remember her conversation with JC about wanting to heal in her own cocoon and emerge a strong and beautiful butterfly. She was finally getting her wish and knew she’d be transformed by the end of this.

JC felt Vivienne’s words bounce around in his head, finding it hard to string them together. “Toxins…toxic…mind…Alice,” he was trying to get to. Something about shit in her brain…was this going to help her? Help him? Help him with her? JC let out a sigh, already too overwhelmed to process it all.

“The bee’s symbolism has a long history of representing diligence, social consciousness and spiritual development,” Vivienne continued. “Each of you here can learn something powerful from this tiny creature that will help you navigate as you journey back home.”

With that, the dome above them illuminated into a burst of gold, almost like fireworks silently exploding above them. Instead of them dissipating, however, the flecks of light began to move and swirl slowly. Alice watched in wonderment, definitely sure this was better because she was high.

“According to ancient mythological tales, bees purify and strengthen the soul. That is our purpose here; to cleanse your body and minds and strengthen you to conquer the reasons that brought you to this retreat in the first place.”

The music came back into the forefront as the light show truly began in full force. Alice let her eyes dart around, trying to follow each line of color before it left her peripheral view, like her old screen saver from college. 

“Hello Josh,” Vivienne’s voice found JC’s brain again. “How are you feeling?”

“Godch…” he attempted to speak.

“Josh, for you, there is something special I want you to take as a lesson from the bee,” Vivienne instructed him. “The bee is a symbol of hard work, commitment and resilience. They labor tirelessly for their community and stay persistent until they achieve their goal.”

JC barely noticed as fingers began to caress his hair. “Josh, you are a hard worker and dedicated to your craft. I know you know this but the spark had faded and affected the rest of you, which led you here. Opening up your vishuddha has helped with that but there is still work to do.”

“Bees are known for their collaborative efforts. They live, work and die together. You were once part of a very successful hive that you feel has disintegrated. This is not the case, however and I need you to remember this. Just because you do not share the same space, does not make your connection any less strong. The ability to survive away from the hive is rare for a bee but essential for growth.”

“Just because the look of your collaboration has changed does not make it less effective; it actually makes it more so. You are proud of your skills in your heart, you know you are talented and you like to share your talent with others. No longer do you need to be afraid to share your voice because your community, your hive, your friendships are forever strong.”

JC let the words sink into his brain. Vivienne may have been talking in metaphors and intentionally vague about who she was referring to but his mind once again conjured up visions of his brothers. He’d actually been leaning more on them this week than he had in months, maybe years. And they were there for him, no questions asked…just like they’d always been, just like they’d never stopped being. It felt different but it was still there. JC felt a warm glow of understanding and acceptance run through his body as he finally let his mind realize the truth.

It was well over an hour before Vivienne made her way between JC and Alice, stopping to speak to other guests as she went. Not that either of them realized this or frankly cared. Eventually though, the constant ambient music in Alice’s ears began to fade as Vivienne’s voice took its place.

“Hello Alice, my dear,” Vivienne cooed, her voice as smooth as the honey that was running over and through Alice’s body. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

“So much,” Alice stated dreamily.

“That’s very good,” Vivienne praised her. “Now, your Josh brought up a very good point about the queen bee earlier.” Alice smiled brightly at the words “your Josh”. He was and wasn’t everything she dreamed him to be but he was hers, at least for a little longer.

“The Queen bee’s power has been usurped from her in the populus  by associating her with negative connotations such as being controlling, manipulative and selfish. These are in no way accurate representations and I am here to teach you to harness your inner queen bee, the correct way.”

“The queen bee is a hardworking and disciplined creature. She is a symbol of motherhood and also a reminder to prioritize your emotional and physical growth and change. You are dedicated to your job, to your son and previously to your husband. However, somewhere along the way, you forgot to be dedicated to yourself.”

Alice barely noticed the tear that dripped out of her eye until she felt Vivienne’s finger brush it away. “The queen bee is able to survive and thrive because she has a tight and loyal support system helping her. Without that support, she dies. Humans are very much the same way, but it is our souls and emotions that take the biggest hits.”

“Alice, you are a queen and I need you to remember this always. A queen deserves respect but doesn’t subjugate. She is disciplined yet understanding, reliable and dependable but knows when to ask others for help to get things done. She takes responsibility for her queendom but knows she can not shoulder the burden alone.”

Even bound up tightly, Alice squirmed just enough for Vivienne to know the concept was still too hard for her to fully grasp. “Alice,” Vivienne said a bit more sternly, “you have been working on yourself so much these past few months, especially in your time here. I know you are struggling to know if things are moving in the right direction but I assure you, they are. There is nothing wrong with not seeing the queenliness inside you just yet, but I promise it is there, you just need to be open to it.”

With those words, Alice’s body fell back into its steady relaxation. She knew she deserved respect but the idea of being a queen was too odd an idea, even for her drug addled brain.

“You are prioritizing your growth, Alice. That is true queenly behavior. Channel that energy into all aspects of your life when you get home but, for now, I ask you to truly acknowledge your worth for the continuation of your stay. This means still being thoughtful and kind but learning that it is ok to prioritize your own needs over the needs of others.”

“My needs first…” Alice murmured, trying to let the idea soak in.

“Very good,” Vivienne smiled. “Soon you will understand the crown on your head has always been there. As soon as you see it, others will learn to recognize and respect it.”

Again, some time later, Vivienne addressed the entire crowd as the light show slowly started to fade away. “Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to personally thank you for your time and your trust as you opened your minds and hearts to the deeper meanings behind the small but mighty bee. May you always remember what gifts and lessons the bee can individually give to you and that in this vast and divisive world, you may feel small but you will always be mighty. Namaste.”

The entire group was feeling a sense of renewal and optimism as they were taken back to their changing rooms where they were gently unwrapped and massaged once more to wake up their bodies and minds. Both Alice and JC couldn’t place how they were feeling except to know that something definitely felt different. 

Alice was the first of the two out of the spa and she took in the scenery around her. It was the same as before yet not all at once, like she was looking at it all through a different lense. Part of her knew she had to still be high but some nagging part of her brain didn’t think that was the full story.

JC stumbled out of the spa, the setting sun feeling like it was hurting his eyes. He was absolutely still feeling the effects of the session and Vivienne’s words plus whatever narcotics were in him. He felt good but disoriented and was thankful when he caught sight of Alice.

“Honey, I…honey,” he laughed at his own joke.

“Hey,” Alice said softly, “you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m…I don’t know but I’m ok,” he told her as they slowly walked back to their rooms. “Does everything feel tingly to you?”

“Kind of. It’s like my brain got hit with changing cables and it’s running down my body.”

“You’re good with words,” JC smiled at her.

“You aren’t so bad yourself, Mr. Songwriter.”

“I do ok, I…” JC paused, like something was itching at his brain. “I’m, you know, a hard worker and, ummm, dedicated to my…craft,” he said but made a face. He knew that was true but he felt like he’d heard someone say that before but couldn’t quite place it. 

“It’s nice to hear you acknowledge that,” Alice smiled back. 

“Uh, yeah…you ok?”

“I don’t know. I mean, yes but something’s off…in a good way, I think but off nonetheless. But I feel…ready, to go home. I mean, not like leave now but, prepared, you know.”

“Yeah, I do,” JC acknowledged. While he still wasn’t sure what to do about his album, he felt secure that his friends would help see him through it. 

The duo walked in silence the rest of the way until they made it to their rooms. “You sure you’re ok?” Alice asked again. “You seem a little shaky.”

“Yeah,” JC tried to reassure her. “Still coming down, I think. Or still going through it, I don’t even know anymore.”

“I don’t like the idea of you by yourself if you’re not right yet,” Alice grabbed his hand, running her thumb tenderly over the back. “Why don’t you grab your dinner tray and come over? Let you relax and unwind?”

JC’s eyes widened just a bit at the woman in front of him. He’d seen that look before but he never imagined he’d see it from her. Alice was definitely flirting with him and he didn’t think she really cared about dinner.

“Yeah, uh, I mean, that would be…” JC still wasn’t thinking clearly and didn’t know the right call to make.

“Ok, I’ll give you a few minutes,” Alice leaned in and kissed his cheek.

JC took a deep breath, meaning to say something when his brain began to sputter to a stop again. With Alice that close, he could smell that sweet saccharine honey coming out of her pores. He quickly grabbed her by the shoulders and took another whiff.

Alice held her breath, not sure what was going on but liking it as JC nuzzled his face into her neck. It reminded her of that morning except this time he knew it was her that he was touching.

JC carefully let the tip of his tongue run over Alice’s skin, feeling the goosebumps form underneath as he went. He could feel himself getting intoxicated again and he wanted it; he wanted her. He wanted to lick every inch of her and feed this need inside him, savor the taste of her and feast on where he knew the nectar was the sweetest.

The mental image of his face buried between Alice’s thighs gave JC a jolt as he backed up. Alice eyed him as he shook his head. “Zombie bee,” he murmured.

“All you wanna do is have sex?” Alice chuckled.

“Yes,” JC said so bluntly Alice stopped immediately. JC shook his head yet again. “I can’t…I’m still really fucked up and I can’t let you think the reason anything happened is because I’m inebriated. I don’t want there to be any doubt that when I kiss you, that I mean it.”

“When?” Alice’s eyes grew wide.

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” JC evaded. “I can’t…I want to just…” he pulled her close again and just as quickly pushed her back. “I can’t be near you right now,” he backed away and quickly entered his room, locking the door behind him. 

Alice stared at the closed door for a long moment. She surprisingly didn’t feel dejected, just majorly confused. JC had been right that he…probably both of them, weren’t completely in their right minds at the moment. She was certainly feeling more confident than normal, that was for sure, and she’d wanted to take advantage…of the situation. The tension between them was getting too thick to ignore and Alice knew, if nothing else, she was going to kiss that man before she left.

JC paced the room much like he had the previous night, but instead of anger, this time he felt need. He was forcing himself not to go next door and ravage Alice’s body until she was spent. Once the thought had materialized, it was suddenly all he wanted in the moment but he knew he’d regret it. He’d just said to Justin that morning his feelings for Alice were about their connection and this current hunger inside him was too primal and all about physical desire. He couldn’t do it, not to Alice and especially not to Jen.

Dinner ignored, JC went to the shower where he tried to sober himself up. He tried hard to replay the events of the afternoon but once it got to lunch, everything started to get hazy and near impossible to remember once they had arrived at the spa. JC was alarmed by how not alarmed he was at the lack of memory, realizing he only had spotty flashes of a handful of hours. He hoped sleep and a clear mind would bring them back.

Once he felt like he could trust himself again, JC dried off and got ready for bed. He was about to climb in when he caught sight of his guitar and quickly grabbed it, giving it a few strums. Something felt good about holding it, better than it had in a while. Less daunting.

Don’t size me up

Just say my name

I wanna hear it fall down your chin

Dribble like paint

Say it right

Don’t care what you think

Don’t call me Barbie

Does it look like I own a fucking thing in pink?

JC smiled as the lyrics flowed out of him, moving quickly to write them down. He felt in the zone and decided to keep working on his song and various other ideas that came to mind. It didn’t feel as scatterbrained as it had before, but more free flowing stream of conscience. Sometimes sessions like this led to some real clunkers but other times they were just the right inspiration to make a song from his soul.