JC huffed as he looked at the assortment of clothes before him. He knew he’d been told to pack a formal outfit for the going away dinner tonight but the JC from a week ago hadn’t wanted to put in the effort. Now he was cursing at himself, having pulled every item of clothing out of his suitcase and feebly rifling through them to find anything suitable.

While his mind continued to ponder, there was a knock at the door, which he quickly went to answer.

“Sorry to disturb you, Mr. Chasez,” Jordyn stood before him. “I just wanted to come by to see if you had anything packed that I could get out of your way for tomorrow?”

“Pretty sure I’ll be up all night repacking this stuff,” JC chuckled as he went back into the room with Jordyn following. “It seems I can’t follow instructions and I don’t really have much to wear tonight.”

Jordyn gave his clothes a once over and grimaced, silently agreeing with him. “Do you have some jeans in here at least?” JC rooted around and pulled out a dark blue pair. “I can work with that,” Jordyn smiled. “Shoe and shirt size?”

“Eleven and medi…uh, large, just to be on the safe side,” JC told her. “You gonna scavenge the lost and found?”

“You do know we have a boutique here, right?” Jordyn questioned him.

“Obviously I did not,” JC chuckled, completely having forgotten that detail.

“I’ll get you something fitting for tonight. You got a lot of black in there but I see some pops of color and some floral…I’ll see if I can find something of that nature. Underwear?”

“Excuse me?” JC shook his head.

“Do you need me to grab you a fresh pair of underwear?” Jordyn let a small smile escape her at JC’s rapidly growing red cheeks.

“Uh, no, I packed enough. Thanks,” he replied. “I can go myself. I’m sure you have plenty you need to be doing.”

“Helping guests is what I need to be doing so it’s no trouble at all,” Jordyn told him with a smile and quickly left before he could argue with her more.

JC sighed and reluctantly repacked his suitcase. It has been such a long time since someone shopped for him. He trusted Jordyn to do a good job but he was somehow a little uneasy with how similar this felt to his touring days. Racks of clothes would show up at his hotel room every few weeks that had been hand picked for him to wear. They were expensive but always his style; their team really knew what they were doing. Now he was left to his own devices and as Jordyn pointed out, lately that meant a lot of black and a lot of comfort. Maybe an aesthetic spruce up wasn’t the worst idea, at least for the night.

One last look in the mirror a few hours later and JC let his reflection have a small smile back. He scratched at his now trimmed beard and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. It had been a while since he’d done anything more than brush it and hadn’t realized how long it was getting. He blinked his eyes yet again from behind the dark rimmed glasses he wore, thankful Jen had insisted he bring a back up pair just in case. The prescription wasn’t exactly right but they’d do for one night. He had to admit, everything did look brighter without the pink hue to it.

The dark blue button down shirt with small white forget-me-nots emblazoned about wasn’t exactly his style but the shirt did fit pretty perfectly. He looked down at the light brown loafers that Jordyn had also picked out and couldn’t help but laugh at how odd it felt to dress up again. Good, but odd. He looked again in the mirror and realized with some amusement that he kind of looked like the vision he had of himself days ago in the made up studio in his mind. Still his age, but better taken care of. JC let out a long breath and headed to the dining hall.

The decor was especially festive and so were the fellow patrons as the conversation and wine flowed freely. JC shook his head and smiled, realizing he shouldn’t have expected anything less from events at the commune anymore. At least the potentially mind altering substances were out in the open this time so he could decide how much or how little to imbibe.

He swung by the makeshift bar first, opting for a simple whiskey ginger to put him at ease. He was making small talk with a few of the guests when Jeff let out a long whistle from across the room. 

“God, must you be such a dog?” Millie scowled at him as she entered the room.

“More like a wolf, baby,” Jeff teased as he let out a howl and bit the air with a wink and a chuckle.

JC was about to turn back around until he caught sight of the woman next to Millie and his jaw nearly hit the floor. He wasn’t sure which one Jeff had been looking at but he only had eyes for one woman before him.

Alice stood at the entrance in a gorgeous lantern sleeved, knee length hunter green dress with an overlapping sweetheart neckline. Her hair was wavy instead of stick straight or pulled in a ponytail as JC was used to seeing and he believed she got some highlights put in as well since the morning. Silver sparkle dangly earrings shown prominently that matched her strappy heeled sandals. Her dress flowed but showed off all the right parts from her strong legs to her ample chest. Alice looked better than JC had ever seen, frankly better than he’d ever imagined.

“Wow,” he said as she approached, unable to hide the enjoyment on his face. “I’d howl too but as I recall, you don’t like that.”

“Shut up,” Alice blushed. “He was clearly looking at Millie anyways.”

“Little ferret,” Millie suddenly joined him. “Can’t leave the rat race if you’re clearly the rat,” she laughed at her own joke then turned her attention to JC. “Doesn’t she look stunning?!”

“Stunning might be an understatement,” JC allowed himself to look again. 

“Stop it,” Alice blushed again, lightly slapping JC’s arm. “This is all her doing,” she gestured towards Millie.

“Damn right it is,” she said proudly. “You should have seen what she brought. Some god awful floral church dress,” Millie shuddered at the mental image then noticed JC’s shirt. “Not that floral is bad just that dress was…well, very ugly.”

“Gee thanks,” Alice gave her a look. “I’m not exactly as fashionable as you two here.”

“Yeah, look at you,” Millie took in more of JC. “You’re starting to look recognizable again.”

“Not exactly a good thing,” JC chuckled then turned to Alice. “She figured it out, huh?”

“I may have slipped the other day,” Alice winced.

“Well if you didn’t look homeless I would have gotten there quicker,” Millie jibbed at him. “At least now you’re starting to look like the JC I remember. The question is, can you still move like you used to?” Millie did a little hip shake and twirl.

“Uh, no,” JC laughed, “baby steps.”

“Fair enough,” Millie backed off, “but if all my hard work on this young lady results in you moving those hips nice and good tonight, you better send your friend Justin down to Texas to rock my body as a thank you, understood?”

“Oh my God,” Alice buried her face in her hands while JC broke out into a full blown laugh. Millie pointed at JC and winked before making her exit. “I’m so sorry,” Alice groaned once Millie was out of earshot. “She’s got a thing for Justin.”

“I can tell,” JC smiled. “Most women do just most aren’t that…forward about it.”

“Most women aren’t Millie,” Alice quipped back.

“That is definitely true,” JC let the laughter fall off his lips as he admired Alice once more. “You really do look beautiful.”

“Oh! Um, thank you,” Alice worked hard to take the compliment this time. “You look very handsome yourself.”

“Jordyn helped with the outfit but, uh, yeah, thanks. A shave really did wonders,” JC chuckled uncomfortably, also trying to take the compliment. “Drink?”

“Actual drink or poisoned?” Alice cocked an eyebrow.

“I don’t think they want to be liable for sending us back out into the wild all messed up tomorrow so hopefully it’s safe. No side effects so far,” JC swished the melting ice cubes around in his now empty glass.

“Then I suppose a glass of wine won’t hurt.”

“Red or white?”

“Red. Not too dry but hearty, if that makes sense.”

“I think I have the perfect one for you then,” JC smiled as they headed to the bar. “May I?”

“By all means,” Alice smiled, intrigued by what JC would order for her.

“Hi,” JC addressed the bartender. “Could I please get a Cabernet Sauvignon for the beautiful woman to my right? Château Pape Clément if you have it.”

“I didn’t realize you were quite the sommelier, Josh,” Vivienne appeared between the two, a blood red gown and matching lipstick making her look like the characterization of a modern day vampire. 

“I’ve been fortunate to try a lot of wine over the years,” JC smiled, taking in Vivienne’s presence with an equal amount of weariness and amusement.

“Braydon,” Vivienne called out to the bartender. “There is a 2016 in the wine cellar. Go and fetch that if you would.”

“Oh, I don’t need anything fancy,” Alice tried to protest.

“Nonsense. Everyone deserves a bit of decadence now and then,” Vivienne told her. “It’s an exquisite vintage: complex and beguiling with a nice full body and a long, elegant finish. Perfect for the two of you to indulge in together.”

“Are you still talking about the wine?” JC questioned her. Vivienne gave a wicked smirk and silently walked away.

“I’m back to believing human sacrifice is still an option for how this will all end,” Alice watched her approach another group of guests.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” JC shook his head and retrieved the now poured glasses of wine from the bartender, handing one to Alice. “Cheers.”

“Cheers to what?”

“To…I don’t know, a successful week? Surviving absolutely insane adventures together?”

“To leaving here a little bit better than how we came,” Alice smiled confidently.

“Definitely to that,” JC clinked his glass to hers as he watched her sip over the rim.

“Oh fuck that’s good,” Alice nearly moaned, licking her lips. “I don’t even want to know how expensive this is.”

“Neither do I,” JC finished his first sip, “but can’t argue with Vivienne on this one. Very silky on the palate. Getting some dark cherry and oaky notes.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stick with just fucking good,” Alice chuckled.

“I’d certainly try something with that description,” JC smiled. 

The two chatted with the other guests and enjoyed another round of wine before settling down to dinner. As JC finished the last few bites of his strawberry salad, he felt Alice grip his knee. “JC, I think they did it again,” she whispered quickly.

“Did what?” he asked, looking around. 

“Drugged us.”

JC quickly examined the strawberry on his plate, not thinking he had tasted any honey. “How do you know?”

“Cuz I smell meat.”

JC let out a hearty chuckle and a sigh of relief. “It seems like my constant inquiries to the staff finally paid off.”

Before Alice could speak, a gorgeous still sizzling 12 oz ribeye steak was placed in front of each of them. Alice inhaled deeply. “Holy shit, I might cry.”

“Bon Appetite,” JC smiled as he watched her dig in. He couldn’t help but steal glances at her as they ate, loving the way she truly savored every bite. He knew this place was a luxury to the both of them but he hadn’t considered what just some good wine and a juicy steak could do to a person who didn’t get to enjoy them when they wanted.

As dessert was brought out, Vivienne stood at the front of the room just as she had that first day. “Ladies and Gentlemen, it has truly been an honor to host you this week. I wish you a safe and pleasant journey home tomorrow but know you now will always have a home here whenever you choose.”

“I think I’m gonna miss her,” Alice gave a small smile.

“Don’t worry. A part of her will always be with us…because she probably implanted something in our brains yesterday,” JC teased.

“Not so far fetched when you really think about it,” Alice teased back.

The crowd slowly began to disperse, some people retiring for the night while others gathered around the bar for another round. “What are you thinking?” JC asked as he watched Alice surveying the people move about.

“I’m thinking I’m not ready for it to end,” she said solemnly. “I don’t like that I’m gonna wake up tomorrow and not go on a walk with you.”

“I think we can fit a quick one in before we leave,” JC gave her a smile. “How about one last movie night?”

“Sounds like a great idea,” Alice beamed.

The duo made the short walk back to their rooms hand in hand, the silence filled with the rapid thoughts going through each of their heads. Their journey, for now, was coming to an end and while they were confident they’d keep in touch, their relationship was destined to change once they got back to their respective homes.

“Your room or mine?” JC asked as they approached.

“We seem to always end up in yours so that works. I just need to change.”

“Nightcap?” JC asked a little too quickly. For some reason, he wanted to keep looking at Alice in that dress.

“Sure,” Alice took the hint and followed JC as he unlocked his room. “Whadda ya got?”

“Oh,” JC immediately realized his predicament. “I don’t actually have any alcohol here.”

“Think they can bring us some?” Alice took a seat.

“Doesn’t hurt to ask,” JC reasoned and picked up the phone. “Hey Jordyn, anyway I can get some whiskey sent to my room? Not a whole bottle but…yeah, Macallan if you have any. Yes, an ice bucket would be great and two glasses please. Thanks.”

“I will never get this kind of service when I get back home,” Alice mused. “What’s it like? This, you know, every day?”

“Alice, I don’t have a butler or anything,” JC sat on the bed next to her.

“I know that but you can have fancy dinners and bottle service and private jets…”

“Now, I haven’t been on a private jet in years.”

“First class?”

“Yeah…I still travel first class,” JC admitted sheepishly.

“Must be nice.”

“It is. I won’t lie about that. I’m extremely blessed and while I never forget it, sometimes I need to be a bit more cognizant of it,” JC shifted. “I never expect anything but I’m used to everything, if that makes sense. Not much is a luxury anymore. I wanna get back to enjoying these things all over again.”

“I think that’s really beautiful, JC,” Alice patted his knee. “I want to learn how to enjoy them as well and not be overwhelmed by them. I felt very…unworthy most of the week and now, well, still not sure I’m worthy but I’m trying to really soak it all in today, you know.”

“Alice, you are very worthy,” JC reminded her. “I truly hope this is the start of you getting everything you ever wanted in life.”

“Don’t know if everything is a possibility but if I can cross a few of the major ones off the list, I’ll be pretty happy.”

A knock at the door interrupted the conversation as JC fetched the delivery and quickly poured them both a glass. “Another toast,” JC raised his glass. “To vowing to enjoy both the big and small things in life.”

The couple smiled as they clinked their glasses and enjoyed their drink. Alice crossed her legs and JC decided to be a bit bold. “Honey, I have to tell you, you really do look lovely in that outfit.”

“Thanks,” Alice couldn’t hide the blush. “Millie really was a lifesaver here. I mean, I thought my dress was fine but this…it’s really simple but I wouldn’t have put it all together.”

“Millie’s got a good eye. Yes, it’s simple yet still elegant. It’s not just that though; you’re carrying yourself different. I noticed it this morning but now, I don’t know, something’s changed.”

“Guess that microchip Vivienne put in my brain is working,” Alice smirked. 

“Funny,” JC deadpanned. “How do you feel?”

“I feel…” Alice considered it. “Good. Out of my head a bit, just enjoying my last little bit of time being here. Being with you,” she looked up with him.

“Same,” JC smiled as he took a sip of his whiskey. “Do you think, maybe, you’d wanna spend the night again?”

“Do you think that’s really a good idea?” Alice tried to keep her composure.

“Probably not,” JC confessed, “but I’d like it if you did.”

“JC, I…we…” Alice stood and walked over to him. “I can’t figure out the right call here. Every ounce of me wants to grab you and kiss you.” JC’s eyes widened at Alice’s bluntness but he remained silent. “You said it earlier though; you are in a committed relationship. I can’t ignore that fact and be selfish when I know it’s gonna hurt someone. Yet my whole life has been sacrifice after sacrifice of what I want for someone else and I’m so sick of it. I’m fucked either way.”

“Well, it’s more like you’re not fucked eith…ok, bad joke,” JC stopped himself when he saw Alice’s stern look. “Alice, I’m not talking about sex. I don’t…there’s gotta be a line and I’ve thought a lot about this, I mean a LOT and that’s where, no matter what, it can’t go. But I want you to spend the night and whatever happens short of that, I’m prepared to go home, be honest and face any consequences for my actions.”

Alice stared at JC in stunned silence for a long moment, trying to process exactly what he was telling her. “Are you saying you are willing to risk your relationship…for me?!”

“I mean, um, that’s a little dramatic but, honestly, I guess I’m the one being selfish right now. I don’t wanna leave here without you knowing how I feel and, well, I guess I’m hoping that if I don’t take things too far, Jen will understand.”

Another long moment of comprehension passed as Alice stared at JC’s face. “JC,” Alice finally breathed. “I should go. I can’t let you do this.”

“Ok,” JC said solemnly. He wasn’t going to argue. He’d put it out there and that was all he could do. He didn’t want their friendship to be ruined. JC slipped his hand into Alice’s and retrieved her glass before walking her to the door.

“JC,” Alice turned back at the threshold, her very mixed emotions beginning to bubble up into her voice. “You really want to be with me?”

“It’s hard for me to explain fully but this isn’t about lust or sex. This is about me really connecting with you as a person. Like I said the other night, that’s what I’m craving, what’s missing the most in my life right now. I have that with you and I’d regret leaving here without at least being open to that experience fully, whatever that looks like.”

“What does it look like to you?”

“It looks like us curled up in bed together watching some comedy on Netflix and kissing you goodnight if that’s what we want. I just…words don’t work with you, Alice. I wanted to show you how I feel.”

“You…you’ve been telling me all week I just…I didn’t want to listen. It’s still just too hard to believe even,” Alice breathed through her growing anxiety.

“I get it. This week has been overwhelming for the both of us. Thank you for helping me through it.”

“Thank you for…being you. For being even better than I imagined.”

“Glad I could live up to it,” he smiled softly, brushing a tear off Alice’s cheek.

“JC,” Alice was barely holding it together. “I don’t want to leave.”

“Then don’t,” JC said bluntly but politely. “No pressure. We’re good, honey, I promise. Come here.” JC held his arms open and enveloped Alice in a tight comforting hug. Just like their walk in the morning, Alice let herself give into it. Something was different, with the both of them, Alice realized as JC held her. She couldn’t tell if it was just them getting so close so fast, all the insane therapy or what but she could just feel how much they had grown in the short week. He definitely had more life back in him and she…

“JC?” Alice looked up. “We’re ok, no matter what, right?”

“No matter what,” JC whispered, his face only inches from her own.

“Ok,” she said softly, taking a deep breath and shutting her eyes, steeling herself once again to do the impossible. For once though, she truly knew, she finally felt confident enough in herself to do it.