Last Day

The first streaks of sun through the window greeted Alice as she opened her eyes. She breathed deep, feeling the most contented she had in years. She shut her eyes again, not wanting to be done with the fantasy just yet.

The bed moved slightly next to her and she smiled, still completely amazed that the fantasy was actually reality. JC’s arm rolled lightly over Alice’s stomach as he spooned her from behind. “Morning Beautiful,” he told her, his voice still heavy with sleep as he kissed the crook of her neck.

“JC, I think you’re confused again,” Alice joked but far more relaxed than the last time this situation had occurred.

“No, I’m not, Alice,” JC confirmed, rolling her head to face him for a gentle kiss.

Alice turned back to face the window and let the feel of JC’s arms fully engulf her as she thought back to last night. It had started innocent enough, curled up together in the bed, just relaxed and enjoying the intimacy of being that close. She couldn’t remember where in the movie JC had started kissing her again but that was the last thing her mind was thinking about as soon as his lips touched her once more.

Hands roamed and touched as their bodies moved against each other, rolling around on the bed as they kissed passionately. At some point he lost his shirt then she lost hers but the rest of their clothes remained. When it got too intense, they took a break, talking about anything that came to mind. JC had wanted to know more about Patrick while he regaled her with some old tour stories and let her fan girl out a bit.

They talked about if they wanted to go any further sexually and both confessed the desire to do so but ultimately decided not to. Alice’s feelings were too intense and when they got to a point where she had to work to keep her emotions in check, she knew they were going too far. JC was completely understanding, learning to gauge Alice’s body to know where was safe to touch and where wasn’t. 

“Still wanna go on one more walk?” JC asked as he snuggled closer.

“Nope. Took me decades to get in your bed, I’m milking this.”

JC let out a gentle laugh as he also started to replay the events of last night in his head. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just made out with someone instead of that being the starting point for the night. It was different but nice, like the youthfulness of it all was making him feel younger, like so much of life was in front of him instead of behind. He was going to have to do this with Jen more often.

Breath caught in JC’s throat a moment as he thought about how he was going to explain this all to Jen. Physically they really hadn’t gone too far. Once Alice’s pajama top came off, he about wanted to dive into her cleavage but her breathing was increasing in rapidity with every inch JC’s lips dipped lower and he backed off. That didn’t stop them from kissing and touching and laughing and talking until they fell asleep.

JC let his fingers linger along Alice’s bare midriff as he had a quick thought if maybe he should keep some of the details out when he talked to Jen but he quickly decided against that. He wanted to be honest with her not only because he owed that but because he wanted to keep Alice in his life as his friend. If Jen couldn’t trust him with her, he didn’t see how that could happen. Sure, he’d just given her reason not to but he also knew this situation was never going to happen again, something he wasn’t sure how he felt about at the moment.

“You ok?” Alice asked him.

“Yeah, thinking about what lies ahead at home.”

Alice rolled over to face JC, intertwining her fingers with his. “JC, last night was…amazing. I…I didn’t know it could be like that, you know. Just seemed like something from some cheesy Hallmark movie that isn’t real. But, uh, I get it. Real life and all has to happen at some point.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” JC asked with a disbelieving laugh.

“No, I just, I know this is…it.”

“Alice,” JC pulled her closer, “this isn’t it, not by a long shot. I get the physical distance is a hindrance but I want you in my life. That part doesn’t change. The sharing a bed part however, yeah, like you said, we should milk this while we can.”

“I’m sorry. I should have told you no.”

“Did you want to say no?”

“No, but I shouldn’t have been so selfish.”

“And I shouldn’t have either. This was my decision, Alice. Like I said, I’ll be honest and deal with the consequences.”

Alice frowned. Last night had been amazing but if Jen didn’t forgive him, if they broke up because of her… “JC, maybe it’s best if we…”

Her sentence was cut off by JC’s lips softly upon hers. It was like he sucked the words right out of her mouth as her arms automatically wrapped around his neck as he gently pushed her against the mattress. Once he could feel Alice’s body fully relax, he pulled back and stared down at her. “I regret nothing. Know that.”

“I think we’re past how you used to cuddle Justin,” Alice deflected with a smirk.

“Are we?” JC cocked his head then winked, causing Alice to laugh. “What time’s your flight?”

“3:42pm.”

JC glanced at the clock. “Good, we still have a little more time,” his lips descended on her again.

The streaks of sunlight eventually gave way to a full blown sunrise as JC and Alice reluctantly faced the fact they needed to get ready to go home. Alice went to her room to pack while JC had her breakfast sent to his room so they could enjoy one last meal together.

“Can I ask you something?” Alice asked cautiously as she sipped the tail end of her coffee.

“Sure,” JC polished off his biscuit.

“We leave here. I mean, we have each other’s numbers and all so it should be fine, but what if people, find out?”

“Find out what?” he looked her oddly.

“That were, you know, friends.”

“Is that a problem? Or rather, do you think it’s gonna be a problem?”

“I don’t know,” Alice sighed. “Just, with my past and everything with Donny…I just don’t want that coming back onto you somehow.”

“Look,” JC leaned over and grabbed Alice’s hand. “I’m not letting the opinions of others that aren’t people I care about dictate how I live my life and you are someone I care deeply about. I don’t think people will find out since we both keep off social media and I do understand and appreciate your concern but fuck them.”

Alice’s eyes went wide a bit. “Wow, a nice change from the guy that came here feeling like he couldn’t express himself because of how others would take it.”

“Maybe the drugs are still working,” JC joked, “and that’s different. Like I said, people I care about. That…that’s gonna take some time but it felt good talking to J the other day. That’s something I gotta work on more.”

“Take it one day at a time, one person at a time. It’ll feel easy soon enough.”

“You too, you know,” JC stared at her. “You said you stopped talking to a lot of your friends. Reach out, when you’re ready. The real ones will understand.”

“Yeah,” Alice breathed. “When I’m ready.” She didn’t know when she’d be ready but just being around other people this week made her realize how much she was missing just hanging out with friends. It was gonna take a while to get there but she knew she’d have to start trying.

Reluctantly, Alice headed back to her room for a shower and to pack the last of her things and before she knew it, she was back at the entrance of the resort, waiting for the car to come and pick her up. Her eyes were already filled with tears as she said her goodbyes and thank yous to the staff that had helped her along the way.

“This is for you, my dear,” Vivienne stood stoically at the gates, holding a small square box.

“Should I be scared?” Alice joked.

“Should you?” Vivienne cocked an eyebrow and smirked as she motioned for Alice to open the gift.

“Oh wow, this is beautiful,” Alice gasped at the gold cuff bracelet inside. She took the jewelry out carefully to view it fully. “Wait, is that…?”

“The stone from your charging ceremony,” Vivienne stated, taking the bracelet from her hand and placing it on her right wrist. “Let this be a reminder not only of your time here but of your strength and determination. The light inside you is as bright as this stone; don’t ever let either of them dull ever again.”

“I won’t, I promise,” Alice choked out as the two women embraced. For as very odd as Alice found Vivienne, she couldn’t say the older woman didn’t care about every soul that walked through those gates.

“As for you,” Vivienne spoke over Alice’s shoulder. Alice turned to see JC approaching, looking far more refreshed than when they’d first met. There was a looseness in his gait and his smile more at ease. Alice still couldn’t believe she’d been kissing that man hours earlier.

“What did I do?!” JC laughed as he approached.

Vivienne gave him the same look she had Alice before as she handed him a bag. “This will help both your inner and outer voice continue to heal.”

JC opened the bag and instantly was hit with the earthy aroma of the tea leaves inside. “Exactly what kind of tea is this?” He asked with a smile.

“You know exactly what kind,” Vivienne smiled back. “There’s a jar of honey in there too, in case you need a little something extra to help.”

“I’m never making it through TSA,” JC laughed heartily and hugged Vivienne as a car pulled up.

“This is it, huh?” Alice took a deep breath.

“Not quite. We’re going to the same airport, figured we could ride together.”

“Don’t you have a later flight?”

“I can amuse myself for a few hours,” he smiled as the driver grabbed both their bags. Alice held in a giggle as she hopped in the back seat of the car with JC right behind her.

The duo didn’t talk much on the ride, silently enjoying the last bit of time in each other’s arms. As they drew closer, the large fields growing smaller as more houses then highways began to fill their view, the reality slowly began to sink in. They were returning to the same world different than when they left it a week prior. These were their last few moments of peace before the hard work began.

In too short a time, the driver was now unloading their bags onto the sidewalk at the departures entrance to the airport. “What gate are you at?” JC asked after they’d checked their bags and cleared security.

“Twenty seven. You?”

“Four,” JC grimaced, “but my flight is later. It’s not a problem for me to walk you down and see you off.”

“Are we gonna do one of those cheesy airport scene moments like they do in movies? Should I run back down the walkway and leap into your arms at the last second?”

“Pretty sure that will definitely draw attention,” JC chuckled, “but one of those profound tear filled goodbyes is more our speed.”

“Goddammit,” Alice laughed to stave off the tears she could already feel forming. “You’re getting to know me a little too well.”

“Just finally catching up,” he smiled as he grabbed her hands. “Who’s going first?”

“You seem prepped already so go ahead.”

“Ok,” JC breathed. “I’m still working on getting my words quite right but I truly think no one but you could have helped me this week.”

“JC, come on, I…”

“No, listen to me,” he shushed her. “I got invested in you. I truly do want to see what happens after all this, help where I can, be a friend. You made me realize I haven’t been a good friend in a while and yeah, there’s reasons for that but it’s important for me to let the people I care about know that I do.”

“They know, JC,” Alice whispered.

“Then maybe I need to show them better. I don’t know, but I do know you helped me get a better perspective. Especially with the leak. If you hadn’t been here…it was important in that moment to know there are fans who genuinely care. A lot of times, my name is used to talk shit about one of my best friends. People don’t actually care about me but you…it was really reassuring to know there are people that truly care.”

“Of course they care,” Alice squeezed his hand. “I still don’t really understand how all this even happened but I know there are other people who care about you, the human behind the voice and the good hair. You just don’t always get to see it hidden behind all the other bullshit but I promise, it’s there.”

“I know now, thanks to you.”

“The thing about being a fan is it’s unrequited love. It’s one way. This week, somehow, it got requited but on that human level. You…you see me for me, literal scars and all, and you didn’t run.”

“No, you ran,” JC laughed.

“Will you be serious?” she laughed as slapped his arm. “My point is, we both want to be seen as more than what the world says we are in a few quick words. We are so much more than that.”

“I see you, Alice,” JC breathed.

“I see you too,” Alice beamed up at him, her tears finally spilling over. She reached up and pulled him into a final kiss, needing to be reminded just one more time that against all odds, this was indeed real.

JC let her, holding her tightly in his arms. He’d meant what he said to Alice, that he was excited to see where life was going to take her, but reality was hitting him and he knew it wasn’t going to be with him. His place was with Jen and it’s where he was ready to get back to, no matter how scared he was of what he’d return to. He did still very much want to be Alice’s friend; nothing more but definitely nothing less.

Alice pulled away and blushed. “Sorry, got caught up in the moment.”

“It’s all good. Fit the rom-com vibe we had going,” he chuckled.

“Flight 253 to Orlando is now boarding,” came the announcement over the intercom.

“Ah, fuck,” Alice wiped her tears. “Guess it’s time.”

“Alice, this isn’t the end. It’s just the beginning,” JC told her.

“Of what?” she asked.

“Your life. Not a new chapter, a whole new book is just starting to be written.”

“A sequel?” Alice joked.

“Is there a sequel to Alice in Wonderland?”

“Yeah, it’s Alice Through The Looking Glass. It’s the one where she steps through the mirror and sees everything through an alternate world.”

“Ok, maybe we did that one already too,” JC laughed.

“You know the last line of that book? It’s “Life, what is it but a dream?”.”

“Guess that means it’s time to live your dreams, Alice.”

“You too, JC.”

“My wildest dreams became my reality. I just have to embrace that my reality now is still a dream come true.”

“Damn, you’re good,” Alice laughed as she looked at the dwindling line to board. “I think this is my cue to go.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Alice. I’m serious, you have my number and I want you to use it, for any reason, any time.”

“You’ll regret that, I promise,” she smiled. “You too. Let me know how things go when you get home, with Jen and the album and just that you landed safe, ok?”

“Will do. You too, let me know when you’re home.”

“Ok,” Alice sniffled as JC pulled her into a tight hug. Alice squeezed tight, burying her head in JC’s chest, inhaling deep the scent of him. The urge to stay with him was strong but she knew unrealistic. Not only did he live literally across the country but she knew she had a lot more healing to do, both her and Patrick. She could forgive herself for a night of selfishness but it would be unfair to them both if she pushed any further. She’d wished nearly all of her life to be with this man and, while sad, she was surprisingly ok with letting him go. If that wasn’t growth, she didn’t know what the hell was.

Alice finally let go and stared up at JC one more time. “Thank you, for everything.”

“Thank you, Alice. Thank you,” JC smiled, as a tear escaped the corner of his eye. There was a shared understanding between the two of them, the bond they’d made over the past week so strong that no other words were needed.

With one more squeeze of their hands, Alice let go and headed to the gate. She checked in and before heading down the walkway, turned to see JC still watching her. She waved and fought the urge to do the aforementioned sprint back to him. He waved back, a smile so bright it could have lit up the entire airport…and it was all for her. Alice took a deep inhale and savored the moment; she was ready to go home.