One Week Later

“Why did it have to be so early?” JC whined.

“It’s 10am,” Alice laughed.

“It’s 7am,” JC corrected her.

“You are the one who wanted to do this first thing in the morning. This is later than we were doing at the retreat so I think you’ll make it.”

“I miss their coffee. Mine is not waking me up enough for this.”

“It probably had drugs in it.”

“Well they were good drugs then,” JC chuckled as he walked up the street of his Hollywood Hills home. “This is kinda bullshit though. Catch up on a walk around the neighborhood. Your neighborhood is flat.”

“That privacy you pay for is gonna cost you one way or another,” Alice laughed as she saw JC give her a smarmy look back on her screen. She was so happy when he’d suggested the FaceTime call; they’d been texting pretty regularly all week but seeing his face automatically made her feel better.

“So, how’s the transition back been?”

“Not terrible. Work was the hardest, just with being off a week and all. My boss and I got lunch on Wednesday and just kinda went over where I’m at.”

“You said you wanted more responsibility, right?”

“Yeah, and we’re gonna ease into it. I really owe them so much for being so understanding that I wanna pay them back. I want them to know they truly can rely on me.”

“They know that otherwise they wouldn’t have stuck behind you through everything.”

“Yeah, I know,” Alice blushed. She knew she was very lucky and she felt taking on more at work would be a really helpful part of her recovery. She wasn’t using it as a distraction or escape any longer and was glad her boss was giving her the opportunity to show she could handle bigger responsibilities.

“How’d Patrick’s therapy go on Thursday?”

“Eh, ok,” Alice grimaced. “It’s harder for him to open up when I’m there but his therapist thought it would be good to explain to him what I learned at the retreat during the session, just in case something didn’t land right.”

“And how was the landing?”

“Rocky, but all the wheels got down. He doesn’t like that you’re a man.”

“He thinks you’re moving on?”

“Sort of. He was very vocal about not wanting to see me get hurt again.”

“Understandable.”

“Yeah, so, we gotta work on that. I talked to my therapist and she said I just need to be completely honest with him about dating when I’m ready to, no sneaking around. I don’t know how it’s all gonna work but not like guys are banging down my door so, I got some time.”

“You’ll know when you’re ready, you’ll feel it.”

“Well speaking of dating, what exactly is going on with you and Jen? You said you’d tell me when we talked and then is now.”

“Oh man,” JC ran a hand through his hair. “Where to even start? So, uh, I told her, obviously, about us and it…wasn’t great. I think things are…it’s gonna take work.”

“Fuck, JC,” Alice stopped, staring at the phone. This was all her fault; the one time she’d been selfish and it cost her friend his relationship. 

“Stop,” JC instructed her, already recognizing the look on her face as her mind started to spiral. “We both…realized a lot of stuff, being apart.”

“What does that mean?” Alice tried not to panic.

“It means Jen kinda realized a lot of what she was missing out on while I was gone,” JC tried to find the right words.

“So what the fuck does that mean?!” Alice felt her heartbeat increase.

JC couldn’t help but chuckle at his friend’s reaction. “Alice, calm down. It’s nothing that bad. She had a girls’ night out and really enjoyed it. Like, really enjoyed it. We stay home a lot and getting out, she deserved that and realized how much she missed it.”

“Okay,” Alice said cautiously.

“She also, uh, there was a guy that hit on her. Nothing happened but she, she liked the attention. I don’t blame her, I mean, I haven’t been much fun to be around in a while so you see what you’re missing out on…honestly, if she had hooked up with the guy, I would have understood but it’s reassuring to know she didn’t.”

“So that begs the question…”

“Yeah, she uh, wasn’t thrilled, to put it mildly. Rightfully so. There was a lot of yelling and crying and, like I told you, I sat there and accepted the consequences.”

“What exactly are the consequences?”

“A lonely bed, at least at present. But I, it’s hard to explain but I think this was a good thing.”

“You’re really gonna try to spin that cheating on your girlfriend was a good thing?”

“The time apart was a good thing. The interest in other people was kind of…eye opening. Like we could see opportunities with others and wished we could have the same feelings again with each other. Uh, no offense.”

“None taken,” Alice replied. “So what does this all mean?”

“It means we’re gonna both focus on ourselves for a while. We both love each other but we need to be honest with the other about what we want. I didn’t realize how much my depression was affecting her and how much she was sacrificing. If what’s best for her is some time away from me, I want her to do that. I want her to be happy.”

“But you’re still living together?”

“Yeah, the house is big enough it’s not that bad. I moved my stuff into the guest bedroom for the time being. We don’t want to end things if we can help it but it’s just really clear we both have our own shit to figure out before we can continue to move forward as a couple. We’re still going to couple’s therapy though, we’re still gonna try.”

“I guess that’s good then,” Alice said, still not really understanding but wanting to be supportive. “So it’s ok that we still talk or is this the send off?”

“I wouldn’t do you dirty like that,” JC laughed. “We talked about it, uh, you, and Jen just asked that I be honest about what we talk about and I thought that was fair. Honestly, I think she was more angry I opened up to you than that I kissed you.”

“I can understand that,” Alice grimaced. “She’s your partner, JC, your actual one. I was just a stand in for a week.”

“Never a stand in, more like a revelation of what being a good partner is all about,” JC smiled then shook his head. “Wait, that came out wrong. I mean, not the part about you but Jen…she’s an amazing partner, I didn’t mean it to sound like…”

“I get it, JC. You both have that with each other, you know that or you wouldn’t be working to get back on the same page.”

“Yeah,” JC said, mulling it all over. Jen was worth putting the work in for and he was mad he’d let it get to this point. It was gonna take a lot but he was committed to trying. “I guess all of this was the wake up call I needed,” he stated.

“Just be glad you woke up,” Alice smiled back. She was so proud of the work JC was doing not just for his relationship but for himself. Her crush on him would always be there but having kissed him, been with him so intimately, it felt like that desire was finally quenched and she could concentrate on her friend and his wellbeing over anything else. At least that’s what she was telling herself. “How’d the reiki session go with the chick Ivan hooked you up with?”

“Good, actually. Still a little hippy dippy for my taste but I get why she and Ivan are friends,” JC joked. “Reminded me a bit of the whole bee situation but without the mummy wrappings or the drugs.”

“That’s how they get ya. Without the drugs, you have to keep going back. Bring some honey next time,” Alice winked.

“That shit is locked away in my studio,” JC laughed. “Not ready for that experience again for a while.”

“How’s the, uh, other…thing?” Alice really didn’t want to bring up the album leak but was desperate to know the latest. She’d texted JC what she could find, and he always thanked her, but hadn’t given her a real update.

“Ugh,” JC shook his head. “It’s not great. I mean, my team got it pulled down in most places but the link you last sent me wasn’t on our radar so they’re working on that one now. It’s a virus; it’ll keep spreading and while you can cut it off some places, it’ll pop up in others. It’s just really frustrating people who claim to support my music would do this.”

“I’m so sorry, JC,” Alice frowned. “I wish there was more I could do.”

“You’re helping just by being here,” JC smiled lightly back. “We’ve got cease and desist orders ready to go if we need them. I really don’t want it to come to that. The fact that all the platforms we contacted pulled it so quickly was a huge help and hopefully enough to get the message across it shouldn’t be out there.”

“But you said it’ll keep popping up though so is it really a deterrent?”

“I don’t know,” JC sighed. “Justin keeps saying I should speak out but I know the second I draw more attention to it, it’ll spread like wild fire. I’m trying to keep this as under the radar as possible and just pray it’s enough.”

“I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”

“Appreciate it,” JC gave a soft smile. “These walks aren’t the same without you, you know.”

“You’ll make due,” Alice teased. “Next time bring the dog.”

“Please, he’d take five steps, shit, two more then fall asleep,” he laughed.

“He can’t be that bad.”

“No, he likes the beach but he’s very thin skinned so it’s getting too cold for him.

“It’s like 71 degrees out by you today!”

“I know, told you, too cold for him.”

“Damn Hollywood dog,” Alice laughed. 

“He had a rough life before us. I’m happy to give him a little slack, though I must admit I have to reacclimate myself to his snoring.”

“Do they have a sleep apnea machine for dogs?”

“I don’t even want to know if that’s a thing,” JC chuckled. “I’m serious though, I miss you.”

“I miss you too, JC,” Alice smiled back at him. “Are you coming around this way for Thanksgiving?”

“Not this year, sadly. Staying in LA and celebrating with friends. Gonna try to get out for Christmas though. What are you up to?”

“Not a damn thing,” Alice said proudly. “Patrick doesn’t want to go to my brother’s place so it’s just gonna be he and I this year, which is fine. I’m happy to stay in my pajamas all day.”

“Something happen while you were gone?”

“No, just…Lew took care of him when things got rough and the kid’s not stupid so while it’s a safe space for him, it’s also kinda like a trigger right now for him too. Like if he’s there, I’m not alright.”

“But you’d be there with him.”

“Yeah, but honestly, it’s not worth the fight on this one. If there is one thing to give thanks for this year, it’s that Patrick and I went through something horrible and are slowly coming out the other side of it. I don’t care where dinner is, as long as it’s with him.”

“I knew you were a good mom,” JC smiled brightly at Alice.

“Nah, I’m a pushover and just want him happy,” Alice retorted with a chuckle.

“Like I said, good mom,” JC told her again.

“Working on it, finally.”

“Same, honey, but we’re doing it.”

Alice let out a breath of relief and smiled. She did feel like she was doing it. Slowly but moving forward nonetheless. The retreat had been hard at times but definitely worth it. It was the reset she needed and she was determined to never lose sight of the opportunity that had been afforded to her.

“We’re gonna be ok, JC,” she told him confidently. “No matter what happens, we’ll be ok.”

“It makes me happy to hear you say that,” JC smiled back. Before the retreat, he didn’t believe that and the fact he could now see it as not just a possibility but a certainty was not lost on him. His resilience had been put to the ultimate test and to his own surprise, he was stepping up to the challenge. None of it was easy and he was out of his comfort zone with nearly all of it but now that he’d found his voice again, he wasn’t going to let anyone take that away from him, not even himself.

“So, same time next week?” Alice asked.

“How about an hour later?”

“How about you bring a thermos of coffee next time?”

“A thermos? Do people still use those?”

“Yes! Some of us need to prep our coffee at home and can’t stop at Starbucks everyday,” she teased him.

“Trust me, I am not going to Starbucks everyday but I get your point. I wonder if they still make He-Man ones like I had in my lunchbox as a kid?”

“Everything is customizable now. I don’t see why not,” Alice smiled. “Next week, 8am your time. Bring coffee in some sort of travel receptacle.”

“I can work with that,” JC laughed. “I’m sure we’ll chat before that but let me know if you need anything, ok?”

“Will do, you as well. Seriously.”

“I promise. Love you, Alice.”

“I love you too, JC,” Alice waved as the call disconnected. She stood on the side of the street and breathed deep, clutching her phone to her chest. Yes, they both were going to be ok.