Christmas Eve

JC smiled as he saw his phone light up with an incoming call as he snuck another present into Bronson’s Christmas stocking. “Ho Ho Ho, Merry Chris…”

“What the fuck is this?” he was cut off abruptly by a piece of paper being flung into view, Alice’s stern face behind it.

“Uhhhh…a note?” he guessed, trying to remember what he’d written in the message to Alice’s Christmas gift that would get her so angry.

“JC, you can’t be serious? This…this is too much.”

“No it’s not, you deserve it. Trust me, you earned it.”

“I didn’t “earn” anything,” she sighed, exasperated. She didn’t want to complain or be ungrateful but she was having a really tough time with the amount of money he had just dropped on her. “Does Jen know about this?”

“Yeah, I told her and she was fine. I promise.”

“It’s too much, JC,” she repeated, feeling defeated rather than relieved. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Alice, it’s not a big deal. You talked so much about meat on the retreat, I thought it would be, you know, a little funny, but also just something you and Patrick could really enjoy.”

“Wait, what?” Alice snapped her head up in confusion.

“I was gonna get you new steak knives as well cuz, uh, I knew you…needed them, but Jen said that would be in poor taste.”

Alice blinked at the phone several times, trying to understand what JC was saying to her. “You didn’t send this?” she finally managed to get out.

“No?” JC answered, his own confusion setting in. “What is it?”

“It’s a certified letter saying my mortgage has been paid off.”

“Whoa,” JC grew wide eyed at the phone. “Uh, no. I…I did not do that. Though the Butcher Box subscription definitely pales in comparison now.”

“It’s a hundred and sixty four thousand dollars I still owed, JC. The only person I know with that kind of money is you. Are you sure this wasn’t you?”

“Alice, I love you and maybe I’m a dick for not having thought of it but no, I did not pay off your house. Was there any other documentation with it?”

“Just the deed and the necessary paperwork. Trust me, I read every line five times over before calling you.”

“Vivienne?” JC started to guess out loud.

“She’s benevolent but I doubt that much so. She already gave me a free ten thousand dollar vacation and is doing that for others nearly every week. Seems unlikely but what do I know.”

“Can you call the bank and find out? Or your local courthouse?” 

“I can try after the holiday but I just assumed…you’re sure it wasn’t you?”

JC smiled at Alice through the phone. “Sorry kid, hate to break it to you but I’m still not Prince Charming.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You’re pretty fucking charming,” Alice let out a small smile as she flopped on the couch. “Jesus, who could have done this?”

“Consider it a Christmas miracle,” JC suggested but just got a glare back in return. “Will you stop thinking good things can’t happen to you? Didn’t we disprove that enough already?”

“No, we didn’t and this isn’t just a “good thing”. This isn’t Holly Lodge.”

“I assume that’s the cabin from Evil Dead or some such?”

“No, it’s a Hallmark movie from a couple years ago where the owner is trying to save…it doesn’t matter. My point is, this isn’t a movie. There has to be a misunderstanding or a catch or something!”

“I’m sending you all my screeners so you can add some quality movies to your repertoire.”

“I’ll watch one when you’re in one,” she gave him a smirk.

“Well since that’s never gonna happen, guess you’re stuck in B movie land forever,” JC chuckled. “Unless you can bend the rules and watch Justin in some choice stuff. You should watch Palmer if you haven’t; he’s really fucking good.”

“I did watch Palmer, you jackass,” Alice laughed. “And yes, he’s amazing. He…” Alice paused, the wheels in her brain starting their all too familiar spin at warp speed. It was too far fetched, even for her, to think JC put Justin up to this but…”JC, I gotta call you back,” she told him before hanging up and sprinting up the stairs.

JC laughed at his now blank screen and put the phone back in his pocket. He missed Alice’s wild goose chase thoughts and hoped whatever this one was would lead her to the answer of this mystery.

Alice ran to her room and pulled out the box she had made of all her keepsakes from the retreat. She rummaged through her notes and mementos until she found her stack of schedules from the week. Flipping to the last one, she quickly dialed the number scribbled at the top.

“Millie Newsome, Happy Holidays!” the perpetually cheery voice greeted her.

“Millie!” Alice practically exclaimed.

“Speaking. Who is this?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s Alice, from the retreat.”

“Alice!!!” Millie let out a squeal of delight. “It’s about time you called. Must mean you got my Christmas present. How are you?”

“I’m…good, well, better, I…Christmas present…holy shit, it was you?!”

“No better time for the shit to be holy than at Christmas!” Millie let out her signature laugh. 

Alice just stared off in disbelief. “How did you…?”

“Oh, it’s no big deal. Girlfriends, right? That’s what we do, we help each other out.”

“Help, yeah, but this?! We help each other move, not buy the whole house.”

“Well now you can move, if you want. But I don’t do manual labor. I’ll happily send movers though, if you want. OH! I can help decorate, I’m really good at that!”

“Millie, stop,” Alice tried to keep up. “I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful because I am but…why? And don’t say girlfriends. Really, why did you do this?”

“Because I can, Alice,” Millie settled a bit. “Because you’re a nice woman and I don’t meet a lot of nice women on these trips, or at least genuine women.”

“I think what you’re trying to say is women with problems,” Alice softened as well.

“Oh, they have problems and if we’re being honest, they might have similar problems to yours but won’t admit it. As I said, genuine.”

“Millie, I’m still not buying this,” Alice told her. “How did you even know my address?”

Millie huffed and strode into the sitting area of her closet for more privacy. “I looked you up when I got home. You told me Florida, around Orlando, and I let the internet do the rest. I didn’t…I didn’t realize how bad everything was for you, Alice.”

“Wasn’t exactly posh dinner parties and Birkin bags over here,” Alice tried to keep the resentment out of her voice.

“No, I can see now it wasn’t,” Millie frowned. “Alice, I don’t know a life like yours. My Daddy is very successful and we never wanted for anything. I went to private school and the debutante ball, was president of my sorority and summered in Europe. My marriage was practically arranged by Texas high society and I am very very lucky that Jeremy is a good man; he treats me well but I’m expected, by everyone, to be a good Christian wife. My life has been predestined for me.”

“Sooooo, what? My life is interesting because I got abused for years?”

“No, it’s not like that,” Millie immediately defended. “Alice, I run three charities that I know nothing about. My purpose is to show up and look like I care and I do care but, if I’m being honest, I don’t put any work into it. I go, I pose for pictures, I go home.”

“So I’m a charity case? Something to assuage your guilt?” Alice was getting heated.

“No!” Millie exclaimed again, growing frustrated. “What I’m saying is I’ve never known anyone like you, Alice. I have friends to gossip with, not actually talk through feelings with. You didn’t talk to me about Instagram filters and diet trends but real life shit. I should have…I should have talked back more but it was the first time in a very long time someone has shared things like that with me. It felt…good, to listen and help where I could.”

“Not belittling here but were we on the same retreat? What about your partner? The early morning walks and stuff?”

“My partner was a 58 year old woman named Gloria who spent most of her time either talking about her Pomeranian or FaceTiming the damn thing. Oh, and lecturing me about using whole milk. I only do it while away but, you know, any little indulgence is a dangerous slope,” Millie rolled her eyes. 

“So even on vacation, you feel like you have to be perfect,” Alice was starting to get it, “and you like me cuz I’m unperfect?”

“Unperfect isn’t a word.”

“It’s a JC word,” Alice smiled.

“Those damn creative types,” Millie chuckled, “but, yes, I guess. I liked that you were just you. I came home and tried to talk to my friends, like actually talk and…they just dismissed everything I was saying. I tried to talk to Jeremy and he somehow turned it into thinking it’s time to have kids. So, that’s happening now, I guess.”

“Millie, if you aren’t ready for kids or don’t want kids, you have to tell him.”

“I’ve had my whole life handed to me and I shouldn’t complain or feel sad; I am grateful but, Alice…that look on your face after JC kissed you, I’ll never forget it. That was pure joy and I realized I’ve never felt that happy as you were in that moment. Not once. You deserve more moments like that so I thought maybe taking one burden off of you would help.”

“Millie…” Alice breathed. “Thank you but you deserve good things too. You deserve happiness.”

“If I knew what would make me happy, I’d be going for it but I just don’t know,” Millie shook her head. “What I do know is knowing I was doing something to truly help you out and not just buying you something expensive and frivolous made me feel happy.”

“That’s a good place to start,” Alice told her. “Maybe actually get involved with the charities you support. Connect with someone there.”

“Maybe…Jeremy thinks I always need a project. That’s why he brought up kids, like a child is a project. We’d just get a nanny anyway so…I want to be a Mom, I do, but not cuz my husband thinks it’ll keep me busy, you know?”

Alice bit her lip and tried to think of what to say. She realized in that moment as helpful as Millie had been during her time at the retreat, she actually didn’t really know her. Her problems were things Alice couldn’t relate to but they were clearly issues for her and Alice worked hard not to dismiss them.

“I agree with you but I can’t be your project either,” Alice winced as soon as she was done speaking. “What I mean is, you are right, we are friends and friends talk and share what’s going on in each other's lives and vent and stuff like that. I’m more grateful than I can put words to, Millie, but you don’t have to do stuff like this for us to be friends.”

“But you only called once I brought you something,” Millie pointed out.

Alice felt the gut punch of Millie’s words and had to sit on her bed. “Fuck,” she seethed, feeling the guilt weigh down on her instantly. There was no excuse, not after nearly two months, and Alice knew she had to admit the truth. “Millie, you’re right and I’m sorry I didn’t call. I…we’re so different and I just…I didn’t think you’d want to be bothered with me when you went home to your lavish life. I should have thought better of you.”

The line was silent for a few moments, Alice holding her breath in anticipation. Eventually, a soft sigh came from the other end of the phone. “You’re not exactly wrong, Alice, at least…I mean, I normally meet women of the same…social status on these retreats. We always say we’ll keep in touch but never do until we run into each other again. You, I…maybe I do find something fascinating about your life? Like you said, we’re very different but I…I don’t want you to be a project, I just wanted to help and this was something I thought would help. I’m sorry if I went too far.”

Alice could hear the briefest of sniffles through the speaker and wanted to sleep in the trash can for the night. All this woman, who had instantly been her friend from the start, wanted was to continue to be her friend. Even after knowing the things Alice had been through. Yet here Alice was, still pushing people away because she didn’t feel worthy of their friendship for one reason or another.

“Millie, it’s really hard for me to accept, well, pretty much anything, from people. I don’t always believe people have the best of intentions but you have always been so gracious with me, being truthful and pushing me out of my comfort zone in the best way. I’m pretty sure you might be my Fairy Godmother so I didn’t…I didn’t want you to feel like I was taking advantage.”

“I guess I get that,” Millie wiped a tear daintily away. “There are definitely people who are intimidated by my wealth and especially judgmental because I didn’t earn any of it. At least Jeremy works but I, you know, I spend it,” she gave an uneasy laugh, as though that was the common joke at dinner parties that was no longer funny. 

“You are more than that, Millie. I do see that and I guess I just figured you had everything figured out back home and I…I don’t like to be a bother.”

“You aren’t a bother, Alice, far from it.”

Silence hung in the air for a couple minutes, neither woman knowing exactly what to say. Millie wasn’t sure how to be a friend without giving people things yet she knew those things were precisely why she had a lot of her friends to begin with. Alice felt so out of her league with the younger, trimmer, way more outspoken and worldly woman on the other end of the phone. This was new territory for both of them.

“Let’s meet in the middle,” Alice offered. “You need to learn that you don’t have to buy my friendship and I need to get more comfortable accepting help.”

“Happy New Year to our therapists,” Millie laughed.

“Seriously,” Alice shook her head. “Well since I have you, tell me how life has been the past two months?”

“Oh no!” Millie shouted. “Don’t think I forgot about your little boy band fantasy trist. I need details, ma’am. DE-TAILS!”

“I’m afraid you’re going to be sorely disappointed.”

“Did you kiss again?”

“Yeah,” Alice blushed at the memory.

“Well one of the best things about girlfriends is getting to share their excitement with one another and telling your therapist does not count. So spill.”

Over an hour later, JC’s phone lit back up with an incoming call. “So, did you Scooby Do the mystery?”

“It was Millie,” Alice revealed.

“Millie?!” JC was surprised but upon thinking about it, it did make sense. “That was awful generous of her.”

“It was,” Alice sighed. “I’m having a hard time with this, JC. I’m so appreciative and we talked and I know her heart is in the right place but I can never repay her for this.”

“Do you need to repay her in money?”

“I guess technically no but Justin is worth way more than my house. Does he have like a used shirt you’d be able to steal and send to her?”

“Ok, that took a real creepy turn,” JC laughed. “Wait, please tell me you aren’t serious?”

“No, I’m not serious,” Alice rolled her eyes, “but I get what you are saying. Gift giving is definitely her love language, which is fine but it seems like she feels like she has to. I don’t want her to think I’m friends with her for her money.”

“But you also don’t want her to think you aren’t friends with her because of it either.” Alice gave JC an odd look so he continued. “The popular, and mostly true narrative is when you get rich and/or famous, everyone wants to be your friend. Some people, though, it’s really intimidating. They feel like you changed cuz suddenly you can afford better wine or a nicer car and can jet off on vacation. Your circumstances changed but the person you are didn’t.”

“I never really thought about that,” Alice pondered. Millie said she grew up with wealth but JC was just a kid following his dreams. The fact some of his friends didn’t support that for whatever reason was a weird thought and she was sure an even weirder experience to process. “You know I’m not friends with you cuz of your money, right?”

“No, I know why you’re friends with me,” JC winked then laughed. “I couldn’t do it with a straight face, sorry.”

“Shut up,” Alice laughed back at him. “So, ok, how would you want your friend to react if you did something like this?”

“Well, I’ll be a dick and say I wouldn’t have done such a huge gift but also my real friends wouldn’t have expected that…I guess I’d want them to accept it for what it was, a gift I had the means to give them and treat it as such. I wouldn’t want them to feel indebted to me.”

“Always the fiscally responsible one,” Alice smiled.

“When you once lived in a car, you value money a bit differently,” JC stated and quickly moved on. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve sprung for vacation once or twice but I’m buying my parents a house, not my friends, you know what I mean?”

“I do,” Alice said, regretting having inadvertently brought up a hard time in JC’s past. 

“My point is Millie and I both might have money but I worked for mine. I know what it’s like not to have it. That’s not a dig, just a fact, so dropping that kind of money doesn’t phase her.”

“And dropping $169 a month on meat for a friend doesn’t phase you?” Alice asked. JC responded with a stern look. “Yes, I looked, ok?!”

“Next time, don’t look and just enjoy,” JC chided her, “and correct. As you pointed out, I spend $80 on an omakase and don’t bat an eye so for Jen and I to have a night out a month is equal to you and Patrick having a few good meals for the same price. It’s the way the person values the money, Alice. Your $10 is maybe my $100 which is maybe Millie’s $1,000. Does that make sense?”

“I’m trying to make it,” Alice admitted. “You get over $50 and that’s extravagant for me.”

“Then I should be extra grateful for this,” JC smiled as he pulled a white box into view.

“No, it’s not that exciting, just…something I thought you’d find funny,” Alice began to blush.

“It’s a Yeti; that’s certainly more dinero than the plastic ones from our youth,” JC said as he pulled out the thermos from the box. “Still has He-Man though.”

“I couldn’t resist,” Alice laughed. “Now you can stop whining about needing coffee on our walks.”

“I’ve improvised!”

“Yes, and when I saw you with an actual mug of coffee, I knew I needed to step in and help.”

“Well I love it,” JC smiled brightly, turning the thermos around in his hand. “Did you order it like this?”

“No, I bought the thermos at the store but found a girl on Etsy who could make all the stickers so I just decorated it and sent it off.”

JC laughed at the detail. All their jokes from the retreat were in cartoon form on the bottle. There were a meerkat and a fox on a bottom section, another sticker depicting a strawberry drenched in honey, a bubbling lake, some bamboo stalks and in the center, a large zombie murder bee, with clear decay of his fur and wings and blood dripping from its mouth.

“At least I know Jen won’t borrow this,” JC quipped. “Thank you, Alice. This is really cool and I appreciate all the thought you put into it.”

Alice blushed hard again. “Hey, if you like it, it was worth it.”

“Well now that you have some expendable funds for the new year, whatcha thinking of doing?”

“Oh God, let me get used to the idea first,” Alice laughed. “I don’t know. The house needs work, the lawn, stuff like that, but also maybe just take Patrick to Disney for the day. We haven’t gone in years and he’s been dying to see all the Star Wars stuff they built.”

“I still got some Disney connections, if you want.”

Alice opened her mouth to protest but remembered her own promise when talking to Millie about trying to be more gracious in accepting help. “I’ll think about it,” was the best she could do. “We’ll talk about it after the holidays, deal?”

“Deal,” JC smiled. “I’ll be in Colorado next week for New Year’s but I’ll be sure to call and wish you Happy New Year.”

“Don’t stress yourself about it. You’ll be with friends, I get it.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t call another friend and remind her it WILL be a Happy New Year for her.”

“And you too, JC. Lots of good changes.”

“Working on it. Got some plans in the works to be a bit more public facing. Nothing crazy but it’ll be a good step.”

“Proud of you, JC.”

“Proud of you too, Alice,” JC smiled back. “Have a very Merry Christmas.”

“You too. Talk to you soon,” Alice waved as the call disconnected. She breathed, taking in how insanely different her life was than a year ago and grateful for it.

JC took a moment to reflect on his unconventional friendship with Alice. He wondered if he’d stayed in Orlando if they ever would have run into each other and become friends. She needed friends closer than him and Millie, someone to just hang out and have drinks with or do her Disney day with. Something clicked in JC’s brain as he got an exciting idea; the more he thought about it, the better it seemed. “After the holidays,” he calmed himself down but still went off to find Jen to start scheming.