Thursday, November 15, 2018

It had been two days since Justin’s visit to the Emergency Room and since then he’d done nothing but think about Chloe.  Her emerald green eyes and the way he felt when he looked into them.  Her calm, soothing voice and the way it sounded when she spoke, especially when she said his name.  Her dark hair and the way it fell in soft, gentle curls across her shoulders.  He couldn’t stop thinking about her.  More importantly, he couldn’t stop thinking about the way he felt when he was around her. 

He’d been with dozens of women.  He’d dated the likes of Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz and most recently, Jessica Biel.  Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, it never seemed to work out.  Then again, somewhere, deep down, he’d always known those women weren’t meant for him.  Sure, they all had good qualities about them but none of them could ever meet his emotional and intellectual needs.  That wasn’t to say they were dumb.  None of those women were stupid they just didn’t give him what he needed, and vice versa. 

He wanted to find “the one” and although they were amazing women; Britney, Cameron and Jessica just didn’t measure up to the picture he had in his mind. He was beginning to wonder if any woman could.

It was the middle of the afternoon and he was alone in his apartment.  JC was still staying with him but he’d gone out to run a few errands leaving Justin alone with his thoughts.  He was trying to muster up the courage to call Chloe but given that he was under doctor’s orders to use his voice as little as possible he’d decided to text. 

Justin: Hi.  This is Justin.  What are you doing tomorrow night?

A few miles away, at the hospital Chloe was just leaving a patient’s room when her phone dinged, indicating that she had a message.

Chloe: Probably nothing.  I’m off tomorrow at 5

Justin grinned.

Justin: Want to have dinner with me?

Chloe’s face flushed.  If she was being honest, she did and in the same breath, she didn’t. 

Chloe: Where?

Justin: my place?

Chloe stopped and stared at her phone.  Truthfully, given what she knew, it made sense.  Someone recovering from Vocal surgery and a collapsed lung really shouldn’t be going out on the town. 

Chloe: Umm…what time?

Justin smiled more, if possible.  He could only imagine what was going through her mind.

Justin: You said you got off at 5, so how about 6:30?

Chloe paused in thought.  She was trying to figure out how she was going to ask Adam to watch Gabby without going into too much detail with Justin.  She wasn’t quite ready for that discussion yet.  Especially not BEFORE the 1st date. 

Chloe: Do you need an answer right now or can I text you back in a few minutes?

Justin just bit his lip and shook his head.  He was picturing her in his mind, standing somewhere in the hospital dressed in a pair of scrubs and her lab coat, her dark hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, her green eyes sparkling and a tiny smile tugging at her lips. 

Justin: I can wait

Chloe: Thanks

As soon as she “thanked” Justin, Chloe hit the button to call Adam.

He answered on the second ring.

“I need a favor.” Chloe blurted out.

Adam chuckled.  He could tell by the tone in her voice that she was flustered.

“What’s up Chloe?” Adam replied.

“Are you busy Friday night? Would you mind watching Gabby for me?”

Adam made a face.  “Let me guess, you’ve been asked to cover another shift?”

Chloe bit her lip.  “No.  I umm…well, I…I sort of got asked out on a date.”

Adam’s eyes went wide and huge grin started to spread across his face.  He’d been trying for months to get Chloe to go out but she always had an excuse; she wasn’t ready, she had to work, Gabby needed her.  Truthfully, he knew that it was because she was afraid to trust someone like that again and he didn’t blame her in the least for that, but she deserved to be happy.

“A date? Who asked you out on a date? Not one of the other doctors?”

“No. Not another doctor.” Chloe answered.

“Ok. So, who was it, because you haven’t really mentioned anyone recently?”

Chloe sighed.  She knew that she was going to have to tell Adam.  In all honesty, there wasn’t much she didn’t tell Adam.  He was her brother and more recently, her best friend, but she also knew how he would react once he knew the truth. 

“Uhh…well…he’s a former patient.” Chloe replied.

“A former patient?  I thought you had rules about that.” Adam mused.

Chloe nodded on her end.  “I do, but this is a special circumstance.  He’s not my patient anymore, and the likelihood he will ever be my patient again is slim to none, so technically, it doesn’t break my rule or the hospitals rules.”

“A special circumstance?” Adam repeated.

Then it occurred to him.  There was only one “special circumstance” regarding one of Chloe’s patients he could think of and the more he thought about it the more he began to smile.

“Chloe, did JT ask you out on a date?”

Chloe blushed.  “Umm…maybe.”

Adam laughed.  “Do you want me to babysit for you, or not?”

Chloe blushed more.  “Yes, please.”

“Then answer the question.”

Chloe sighed then giggled slightly.  “Ok, fine, but you can’t tell anyone.  This stays between us.”

“Deal.”

“Yes, Justin asked me to dinner on Friday night.”

“Where?” Adam asked grinning like a fool.

“His place.” Chloe confessed.

Adam’s eyes widened.  His protective brother side was kicking in again.

 Apparently, Chloe knew what he must be thinking.

“Going out really isn’t the best idea given what he’s dealing with right now.” Chloe replied, interrupting his thoughts.

  Adam chuckled a bit and nodded.  “Good point.”

“So?” Chloe continued.

Adam nodded.  “Sure.  I’ll babysit.  Maybe Gabby and I will go out.  I will take her for Pizza and Ice Cream or something.”

Chloe grinned.  “Thank you.”

“I better get a full rundown after.”

Chloe laughed.  “We’ll see. I better get back to work.”

Adam smiled.  “Yeah, get back to saving lives.  I’ll see you this evening.”

As soon as she hung up with Adam, Chloe quickly sent Justin a reply.

Chloe: 6:30 on Friday?

Justin: Yes, if that’s good for you

Chloe smiled.

Chloe: Sounds good.  I’ll head over after work.  Just send me your address so I know where to go.

Justin smiled this time.  He was beyond excited that she had accepted his invitation, and maybe a bit nervous too, but it was the first thing he had to look forward to in weeks.

***

Friday turned into the longest day ever.  Chloe was in surgery almost all day and if that wasn’t bad enough her last patient of the day ended up dying on the table.  A 17-year-old girl who suffered numerous internal injuries in a car accident.  There was just too much internal bleeding. 

It was the part of her job Chloe hated the most.  Telling the families that their loved one was never coming home.  Over the years she’d learned to keep it together until she was alone but every loss hurt as much as the first.  Knowing that she’d done everything she could and it still wasn’t enough still made her ache inside.  It always would.

By the time she made it to the Doctors’ locker rooms Chloe was a mess.  Part of her wanted to cancel her date, to just go home and crawl into bed but it was rare she got a night to herself so she was going to push through the exhaustion and grief she was feeling.  Hopefully a nice, hot shower would help.

Sighing to herself, Chloe peeled off her scrubs and shoved them into her bag then wrapped a towel around her and headed for the locker room showers.

Since they would just be having dinner at Justin’s place, she’d opted for a comfy but casual outfit.  A grey, cable knit sweater that came off one shoulder and a pair of mid-rise, boot cut, dark wash jeans paired with a pair of grey, suede boots.  Once she was dressed, she pulled a hair dryer and a small make up bag from her duffel.  She really wasn’t one to wear much make-up especially if she was in surgery.  It just ended up melting off under the bright Operating room lights but this wasn’t the Operating room.  This was a special occasion.  This was a date.  The first date she’d been on in over a year.  The first date she’d been on since her very messy divorce. 

Looking at her reflection in the mirror Chloe forced a weak smile.  The last year had really taken a toll on her.  Thankfully, the make-up mostly covered the dark circles under her eyes.

“This is as good as it’s gonna get.” Chloe muttered to herself.

Her car had been totaled in the accident just as the Police had predicted, the driver of the Mercedes had also not been found yet.  Meaning her insurance was taking the hit for her car as well as Justin’s motorcycle.  In other words, she was stuck taking an Uber or the train.  She decided on an Uber. 

Just a few minutes shy of 6:30 the Uber was pulling up to Justin’s address in Soho.  A doorman greeted her at the door, checked her I.D. then called to confirm before escorting her to the elevator that would carry her to the Penthouse.

“Of course, he lives in the Penthouse.” Chloe muttered to herself.

Now that this was actually happening Chloe found herself feeling a bit nervous.  Typically, she was cool and calm.  A trait she’d developed after years working in a high stress environment, but this was different.  None of her training or experiences had prepared her for this.  Not to mention that her track record with men was lacking at best.

After several tense minutes the bell rang and the elevator doors opened on the penthouse floor.  In front of her, a solid oak door.  The butterflies in her stomach had started to do summersaults as she reached for the doorbell. 

Her breath caught for a moment as she heard the door being unlocked.  It opened and there he was standing in front of her.  He was dressed casually in jeans and a blue plaid button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.  His blue eyes were shining back at her, there was just the right amount of scruff on his face and on his lips; a very boyish smile.  However, before he even had the chance to properly greet her Chloe was reaching into her purse.

“Wait! Before you say anything, I have something for you.” Chloe explained as she dug through her bag.

Justin bit his lip and tried not to smile too much.  This was the first time a girl had brought him something on their first date.

Her bag was rather big, so truthfully, he had no idea what might be inside but given that she’d come straight from work the size of her bag made perfect sense.  Regardless, his curiosity was piqued.

From inside the bag, she produced two items; a small dry erase board and pack of 4 dry erase markers; one red, one blue, one green and one black.  She continued to explain as she handed the items to him, blushing a bit as she spoke.

“I’ve been reading up a bit on your procedure…yeah, I know, what can I say, I was intrigued.  I’m used to Emergency appendectomies, ruptured spleens and gunshot wounds.  Bruising and nodules on your vocal chords aren’t really in my wheel-house.  Anyway, after doing a bit of research I learned that someone who is only 3 weeks Post Op from a procedure like that really shouldn’t be talking much.  Especially not a ten-time Grammy winner who wants to sing again.  In other words, I let you get away with more talking than I should have during our last encounter.  I won’t make the same mistake this time.” Chloe blurted out.

Justin bit his lip, grinned and nodded then busted open the package of dry erase markers and quickly scribbled on the board.  Although not what he’d expected he found it incredibly sweet that she’d taken the time to research his condition. 

“Yes ma’am” He wrote in blue ink.

Chloe laughed.  “Don’t call me ma’am…please.”

He nodded again then started to erase the board with the elbow of his shirt but she stopped him.

“No! Wait! I have an eraser…hold on.” Chloe exclaimed as she began to rummage through her bag again.

A moment later she produced a dry erase eraser in the shape of a cartoon owl.  Justin raised an eyebrow and tried not to chuckle as she handed the eraser to him.

Immediately upon seeing his expression Chloe made a face.

“What?! It was the only one they had and well…you are the “Man of the Woods” Chloe smirked.

Justin laughed silently and nodded then erased what he’d written and began to write again.

“Cute.”

Chloe laughed a bit too.  “Like I said, it was the only one they had and I was in a hurry.”

Justin nodded.  “Would you like to come in?”

“Yes please.” Chloe replied.

Quietly she followed him down the long hallway and into the living area. His place was very sleek and modern, with an open floor plan but it suited him. 

“I hope you like Italian.” He wrote on the board.

On the table, a candle lit dinner had already been set up.

Chloe smiled and nodded.  “I love Italian. I think my grandmother would roll over in her grave if I said otherwise.”

Justin grinned and Chloe felt her stomach do another flip.  That boyish smile was definitely getting to her.

“An Italian girl?! I wondered if you might be.” He wrote quickly.

Chloe laughed.  Even like this, he was incredibly charming.

“Actually, I’m a little bit of everything but yes, my grandmother was full blooded Italian.”

Justin smiled back at her.  The way her eyes lit up when she laughed was drawing him in and the way the lights from the candles flickered across her face made him feel a bit relieved that he couldn’t speak.  Right then, he was finding words to be difficult.

“Would you like some wine?”

Chloe nodded.  “I would love some.”

Smiling he poured two glasses of wine and set them down on the table.  Then, being a gentleman, he pulled her chair out for her and motioned for her to sit before taking the seat directly opposite her.

Once they were both seated and Chloe had the opportunity to take a sip of her wine, she found the courage to speak again.

“Where is…umm…your friend…Mr. Chasez? Did he go home?” She stuttered a bit.

Justin smiled.  He could tell she was nervous.  He was too but he wanted to put her at ease.  This was supposed to be fun, not uncomfortable and awkward.

“No. He didn’t go home.  He’s out with some other friends of his.  He probably won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon.’ Justin replied with the board.

Chloe nodded then looked down at her plate, creamy pesto gnocchi with garlic bread and seasoned asparagus.  It looked almost too good to eat.  Gnocchi was her favorite but then she knew there was no way he could have known that.

“Did you make this?” Chloe asked her eyes wide.

Justin just smiled and shook his head, then reached for his marker again.

“Takeout. I just put it on the plates.”

Chloe blushed again and nodded.  “It looks AMAZING!”

For the next few minutes, they were both occupied with their plates.  The food was delicious but the quiet was a little un-nerving.

Justin looked up at her and felt his breath catch in his throat for a moment.  They way the candles flickered across her face making her green eyes dance was almost hypnotizing.  Taking a sip from his wine he tried to steady himself then picked up the marker and began to write on the white board. If it had been anyone else, he might have been a little put off but he knew her intentions were pure, and, she made a valid point so he was willing to humor her.

“What made you want to become a doctor?” He wrote.

Chloe set her fork down and smiled up at him.  “I like helping people.  Knowing I can give people a second chance at life, bring families back together, spread a little hope, that’s a good feeling.”

Justin nodded.  “I get the impression you’re really good at it.”

Chloe let a sigh escape.  “Most of the time.  There are times, like today, when I doubt myself.”

“What happened? Or can you not talk about it?”

Chloe managed a weak smile.  His concern was evident.  It was incredibly endearing.

“Umm…I can and I can’t.  I can’t give you specifics but then I don’t think you’re going to tell anyone either.”

Justin grinned and bit his lip, then began to write quickly.  “My lips are sealed…obviously.”

Chloe giggled and nodded.  If anything, he was really good at putting her at ease.

“I lost a patient.  Her injuries were too severe.  She was only 17.”

Justin’s eyes widened.  He couldn’t even fathom what that must feel like.

“I can’t even imagine.”

Chloe nodded.  She appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to make her feel better with meaningless platitudes.

“Every loss is hard, regardless of what any other doctor says to the contrary.  It hurts every time you just learn to keep moving forward.  Your next patient is counting on you just as much as your last.”

“Makes sense but I am betting you probably want to talk about something else.” The board said.

Chloe smiled and nodded.  “Please.”

Justin paused for a moment and took another sip of wine.  He wanted to get to know her better but at the moment questions were failing him.  He couldn’t get past her eyes and that voice.  Her voice was so calm and soothing.  It forced him to relax, something he really hadn’t done in a while.  The tension he felt as a result of everything was unsurmountable.

“Are you from New York?” He asked in writing.

Chloe smiled and nodded.  “Born and raised.  I grew up in the Bronx. “

“Any siblings?” Justin continued.

Chloe laughed a little at just the thought of her brother.  “Just one.  An older brother.  He’s my roommate.”

Justin raised an eyebrow which in turn caused Chloe to giggle.  She knew what he must be thinking. 

“I know, that sounds weird but it was a win-win for both of us.  My place is closer to his work than where he was previously living.  He needed a place to live when he and his partner split and splitting the cost of my place was cheaper than living on his own.  I needed help with bills, because even on my salary an apartment in the Village isn’t cheap and well, he takes care of things like grocery shopping and laundry so I’m not running myself ragged after a long shift.” Chloe explained.

She’d left out Gabby on purpose.  She wasn’t ready for that truth to come out just yet but she also wasn’t so delusional that she couldn’t admit it would come out eventually, especially if things between her and Justin continued.

Justin smiled and nodded. “It makes perfect sense.  Not weird at all. What does he do?”

Chloe smiled.  “He’s a lawyer. A defense attorney.”

Justin grinned as he wrote.  “So, helping people is genetic.”

Chloe laughed.  “I guess so.”

Justin looked from Chloe to her plate.  Her plate and her wine glass were empty as was is.  He decided maybe it was time for a refill and to move to a less formal setting.

He stood from his seat and grabbed the wine bottle from the table then proceeded to walk towards her.  Chloe felt her pulse quicken immediately.  His white board and markers were still on the table so he looked down at her nodded to her empty glass.  She knew what he was asking.

“Sure.” She replied, her voice quiet.

Justin poured more wine in her glass then poured himself another glass as well.  Once that was done, he lifted his glass from the table with one hand then retrieved his white board and marker with the other and nodded towards the couch. 

Chloe bit her lip and nodded then stood and followed him across the room without a word.

Being the total gentleman, he placed coasters and his writing tools down on the coffee table then waited until she sat down on the couch before sitting down beside her.  He was sitting incredibly close.  His body was turned to face her and he was looking directly into her deep emerald green eyes.  Chloe could feel her pulse quicken a bit and the hairs at her nape start to stand on end.  It was a sensation she hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

Justin blushed slightly then picked up the board and marker and began to write.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this but…you’re gorgeous.”

Chloe couldn’t help but smile then whisper her reply.  “You’re not so bad yourself…but then, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve thought that since I was 13.”

Justin chuckled quietly and started writing again.  “An *NSYNC fan?”

“But, of course.”

“A Justin girl?”

Chloe giggled and nodded.  “Since I was 10.”

Justin made a face.  “MMC?”

“You know it! Used to drive my brother nuts…that was until he discovered your brother from another mother.”

Justin paused for a moment in thought then his eyes went wide.  “JC? Your brother had a thing for JC?”

Chloe laughed at this.  “Had? No, not past tense.”

Justin visibly chuckled.  “Gotcha.”

Justin had “dated” fans before, but Chloe wasn’t like those girls.  Yes, she was a fan but so far, she didn’t flaunt it.  She was honest but not overzealous.  He appreciated that, more than she probably knew.  It made her more intriguing and him more curious, if that was possible.

“Ever been to a show?”

Chloe blushed.  “*NSYNC or solo you?”

Justin shrugged then began to scribble on the board.  “Both?!”

“Yes, and yes.  I had tickets to Man of the Woods…but…umm…”

Justin nodded.  It stung a bit but it was the truth. 

“Decent seats?” He continued.

“They weren’t terrible.  Adam …my brother…he got them as an early birthday present.”

“When is your birthday?”

Chloe blushed.  He had no idea the significance of his question.

“Two days before yours.  January 29th and yes, I know when your birthday is.”

She knew it because his birthday was the same as Gabby’s.  She’d gone into labor on her birthday but Gabby had been born on January 31st, the same day as him. 

This time it was Justin’s turn to blush but he was trying to hide it as he wrote his reply on the board. 

“Hmm…not terrible” you say.  I think we can do better than “not terrible” if it’s a birthday present.”

Chloe gave him a look.  “Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.”

He saw pain flicker in her eyes for a moment.  It was then he realized she’d been hurt before, and deeply.  He knew how that felt.  Taking a deep breath, he set the board and the marker back down on the table and then scooted a bit closer.  He was looking straight into her eyes now, their faces just inches from one another.  Taking another deep breath he raised one hand to her face, gently tracing the scar forming above her brow with his fingertips.  He knew he shouldn’t speak but he also knew she needed to hear him say this.

“I’m not.  It’s the least I can do.” He whispered.

“You don’t owe me anything.” She replied, her voice wavering.

“I know.” He replied, still touching her face.

“Then, why?”

“I want to.”

“Why?”

If this was going to continue, if she was going to take a chance, a leap of faith, then she needed to know where he stood.

Justin pulled away for a moment and retrieved the board and marker.  She deserved an answer but also knew that she’d probably scold him for using his voice too much.

“It would give me an excuse to see you again.  I want to see you again.  To be honest, I feel like I NEED to see you again, to get to know you.  Is that bad?”

Chloe read what he wrote then shook her head.  She would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit she felt the same.  Then again, she wasn’t being completely truthful with him either.

Chloe took a deep breath.  No secrets.  No lies.  No holding back, not this time.  She needed to be completely transparent about her thoughts and feelings if this was going to work. 

“I get it, but there is something I need to tell you, something you need to know about me and if it’s a “deal breaker” for you I completely understand.  If it changes how you feel, I won’t take offense, I’ll just go and we can call it what it was; a really nice evening.”

Her eyes had changed.  There was a sadness in them.  She was struggling.  He could tell immediately.  His hand went to her face again, pushing a curl behind her ear and then lingering on her brow again.  On some level, he was trying to reassure her while at the same time reassure himself.

“Tell me.” He whispered again.

Chloe swallowed hard.  His blue eyes seemed to be searching hers, looking for a way into her soul.

“I have a daughter.  She’s five…almost 6.  You share a birthday.  Her father and I…umm…well…we separated a year ago…we divorced soon after.  He was…well…not a good person.  I wanted to make it work…for Gabby…but …staying wasn’t good for either of us…her or me.  She deserved better…”

Justin had heard all he needed.  Without giving it a second thought he closed the gap between them and silenced her with his mouth.  Chloe’s eyes went wide but she didn’t pull away.  His lips were soft and the whiskers from his face tickled a bit but she didn’t care.  It felt too good.

He was smiling when he pulled away but before she had a chance to speak, he had picked up the white board again and was writing his response.

“NOT a Deal breaker!!!”