Gone....It was done, over. The culmination of the last five and a half years of his life. Gone..up in smoke.

He sat on the end of their bed in his Dolce and Gabanna suit.She had it custom made for him.It had always been her favorite. She had said he looked like he did in his MMC days.

It had been the suit he had married her in six months before.On a secluded beach in Malibu.And now it would be the suit he would bury her in too.

She had taken her last breath in his arms 3 days before.She had decided after she got diagnosed she wanted to die her way, not the way they had described to them at all the oncologist appointments. They had talked about it, and she decided to die with dignity.Her health had began to decline rapidly, about 2 weeks ago. So 3 days ago she had taken the dose of medication and was resting comfortably in his arms. she looked up at him, and said " I love you Josh." She had closed her eyes and fell asleep. Her breathing had slowed, and something beautiful has slipped from ones side of the world to the other.

He hated cancer,especially Glioblastoma, with every fiber of his being.it had taken her from him in less than a year.

A knock on the door shook him out of his haze. And into his now cold, hard reality. A life without Jen.

Justin stuck his head in the door. The sight of his brother like this was almost more than he could stand.

"C. The cars are here..It's time to go."

He got no response, just him sitting on the end of his bed, staring off into space.

" C.They are ready for you downstairs. We need to go now." , Justin said again, as he moved into the room. No response.He walked to JC and put his hand on his shoulder.

"C.. you  OK?"

JC looked up at Justin, not even realizing he was in the room until that moment.He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. There were no words for how he felt. Which was dead........Numb.

 "C.. The cars are here to take us all to the service. We have to go now." Justin said again.

"I can't move." He said, in a voice barley above a whisper.

" What?"

"I can't move , J" he said, a sob at the end of his sentence,   He looked up at Justin, his blue eyes pleading " Please help me J."

" It's ok C."

" How do I do this, J?" JC asked, a sob escaped his chest. Sounding more like a primal scream.

" I wish I knew. but you aren't alone." Justin said rubbing his back as he sat next to him on the bed.