“Kay, are you ok?”

“Honestly? I'm nervous…”

“About what?”

“Tonight, what is going to happen.”

“Why?  You’ve never seemed nervous about that before…”

“That was before I had twins.  Now, well, I’m worried…”

“Let’s get a drink down at the bar.  I know it’s not super private, but if we’re seen, is that the worst thing in the world?”

“No.  I’m not worried about that.”

“We’ll talk about it in a bit.  Relax a bit, not put too much pressure on things.”

“Thank you, Justin.  I’m sure it’s just me overthinking things, but thank you for being so patient with me.”

“I’d be a shitty husband if I didn’t look out for you.  When you’re ready, we’ll do more.”

“I want to be ready, it’s been 2 months…”

“I’m in no rush.  I’m happy with what we’ve been doing.  If you’re not ready, I won’t push it.  I just wanted a night to ourselves, no kids, no responsibilities.  I didn’t mean for there to be pressure on you to…”

“I know.  I’m just in my head.  Let’s go get a couple drinks.”

They headed downstairs, walking into the lounge.  They found a somewhat secluded table and looked over the drink list.

“I’ll take a Feeling Pretty, minus the vodka,” Mikayla said.  Justin ordered a vodka mule, taking her hand in his.

“You look beautiful tonight,” he smiled.  “I mean it.  Even if Erin hadn’t helped you get ready, if they’d just taken the twins and we were home by ourselves, you’d still be beautiful.”

They talked as they sipped their drinks, Justin doing his best to make her feel at ease.  He noticed she was more relaxed, talking about the twins without having to worry about taking care of them.  

“Let’s head back up to the room,” Mikayla said, admittedly still unsure if she was ready.  Her stomach turned as they took the elevator up to the penthouse floor, Justin opening the door for her. 

She hasn’t noticed much the first time, her nerves overtaking her. She took in the sight before her. Enough seating to accommodate all of the *NSYNC family, including parents, siblings, and romantic partners.  There was a modern and elegant chandelier hanging over the center of the room, seeing two large couches and two comfortable chairs forming a large rectangle before her. A large room off to the side had a large TV, a formal dining room and full kitchen on the other side.  

“It’s big, I know,” Justin said. “Two bedrooms, one on the left, our master off to the right here. Are you still nervous?” he asked genuinely, his voice soft.

She nodded, her cheeks flushed.  “I feel stupid. I have one of the sexiest men alive as my husband, and I’m nervous about having sex with him.”

“It’s ok to feel that way.  At least you’re telling me and not hiding it and shutting me out. No pressure, but can I give you a tour and take you out onto the balcony after?”

She nodded, relieved by his patience and gentleness towards her. They followed the hallway as it curved around, leading to a large bedroom, and a beautiful bathroom. 

“I want to live in this tub, take in that breathtaking view…” she gasped, having a wide window looking out onto the balcony and over the city.

“The other tub doesn’t have quite the same view, so if that’s what you want, you can have it.  Let me show you the master suite.”

They walked back into the main room, walking past the kitchen. “I’m fully planning to make you breakfast tomorrow,” he smiled.  She knew he wasn’t kidding, seeing a full kitchen, including a large stove, oven, and microwave. There was a small wine fridge built in, feeling like they could just move right in.

“I feel like this is meant for more than one night’s stay, all the comforts of home this place has,” she sighed. 

“It certainly is, but I know one night away is all we could handle away from them, for now.  The big wedding is 6 months away, I wanna really get things going on that.  I wanted to wait until the twins were born, but now we’re hitting crucial crunch times.”

“So much for no pressure,” she laughed lightly.

“Different kind.  Now the master suite.”

He opened the double doors, a bathroom to the left, bedroom to the right. Justin had been right, the bathtub didn’t have much of a view compared to the other, but the frosted glass and the multiple shower heads had more appeal than the other with a curtain closure.

Her mind started to wander, the shower big enough to get into plenty of trouble in.

“Glad I’m not the only one thinking about that shower,” Justin growled quietly, noting the way Mikayla was biting her lip and the change in her breathing.  “Last stop before the balcony…”

He led her through the bedroom, opening a door. Her eyes widened.  “I don’t know why I’m surprised this has a walk in closet, but it does…”

“And it has a door leading to the balcony. The balcony wraps around the entire exterior of the suite, some spots feeling more secluded than others.   I prefer the view from near the main part of the suite.”

“You’ve stayed here before?” Mikayla asked, the heavy sigh of disappointment along with it.

“Nothing like this, nothing romantic.  I was on tour and wanted to get out of my head.  Being home would be comfortable, but a little too much that I wouldn’t be able to relax the way I needed to.  You’re in the middle of a bustling metropolis, but also feel secluded and away from everything out there.  Care to join me and see for yourself?”

She nodded quietly, Justin opening the door within the walk in closet, the night air hitting hard and fast.  The sounds of the cars and people below them.  It wasn’t super late, around 10:00, which felt late after having children.  Mikayla looked down at the street below her.

“I feel like I’m somewhere else somehow, not LA.  I don’t normally shop on Rodeo Drive, so maybe because it’s so foreign.  It’s been a while…”

“With him?”

“Yeah.  He took me to a couple places, got me these shoes.  I’d hate to get rid of them because of who bought them, they’re my favorite shoes when I have to dress up.”

“We’ll see about doing some shopping around here tomorrow before we leave.”  He looked deep into her eyes.  “How are you, Kay?  With everything.”

“Part of me wishes there wasn’t this ghost hanging over it all.  What could have been.  At least what he’d have done if he KNEW, but I also don’t want to be with him anymore.  I’m sure we’d be happy, but this, with you… this feels good too.  Still a lot of guilt about things, if I should have tried harder before things fell apart, feeling guilty that I’m happy with you and not wanting to be with him.”

“And about tonight?” he asked, a glint of hope in his voice.

“What about tonight?” she purred in response.  Her voice turned more serious as they walked along the balcony.  “I’m nervous, I’ve heard things about it being different that first time, even after that.  I’m worried I’ll lose my level of desire, beyond not having the time or energy,  I love my parents, and I probably shouldn’t know this, but I don’t think they’ve been very… active even with us being older.  I remember seeing certain CDs and things around his computer…”

“CDs?”

“Pretty sure it was porn, before the Internet was a big thing for that.  The woman on the front was nearly naked, I’m sure there was more like it,  I confronted him about it, like he was cheating on my mom by giving that his attention instead of her.  He didn’t like being told off by a 19 year old.  I’m guessing I didn’t know the reason why he felt he needed it, and I worry that that’s how we'll end up.  I mean, look who I‘m married to.  You could find any woman you want to…”

“You’re the only woman I want, let me make that very clear Kay.”  He felt like he was looking into her very soul at this point.  “I made a promise to you, and I intend to keep it. I love you, I always have, and I always will.  I don’t want to come across a certain way, I know we said no pressure, but if you let your fear get in the way, it’s never going to happen, and it’ll be a self fulfilling prophecy.  You are so beautiful, Kay,  the only woman I want to spend my life with, the only woman I want to be with like that.  I knew there was too much pressure for tonight to go a certain way, we can just go to sleep…”

MIkayla had toyed with the idea of saying something, instead choosing to just take the lead.  She pulled him close, pressing her lips to his.  She dug her fingers into his biceps, deepening the kiss.

She gently pushed him onto the couch that was on the balcony, knowing no one else could see them.  “I want you, Justin.  I’m just scared.”

“Don’t fear me baby, it’s just Justin,” he laughed quietly.  

“Ain’t nobody love you like I love you,” she replied.

“You will know the difference when I touch ya,” he chuckled, kissing her neck, running his nose along her ear.  “Enough of that, and more of this…”  He pulled her earlobe with his teeth, running his tongue along it.

“Justin…”

“Yeah baby?”

“I can’t just moan your name?” she giggled.

“Moan it, scream it for me baby.  Maybe not out here, but…”

“Less talking, more kissing, more touching…” she chided him.

He smiled, his hand over her breast, massaging her through the dress.  “We’re going to need to get inside, the things I want to do… the things I want to make you do…”

“Just a little more making out here,” she said, her hand slowly trailing down his chest, cupping his heat through his pants.  “You gotta warm up before you play the game…”

“A sports sex metaphor.  I love it.  Baby, we going for overtime tonight.”

“You say that now…”

“We’ll take it play by play.  Right now I really want to play shirts versus skins. I’ll be shirts,” he chuckled, nuzzling her neck.”

“We’ll both be skins by the end,” she laughed.  “Let’s get inside.”

They walked back into the suite, Justin kissing Mikayla as he carried her down the hall, her legs wrapped around his waist, feeling his excitement pressed against her.

“I feel like it’s our first time all over again,” she sighed.

“Were you nervous then?”

“A little.  I’d only ever been with him, though we had fooled around quite a bit between getting together and our first time.  Kinda like after the twins.  I just worry it’ll feel different, for you.”

“How so?”

“Even with fooling around, there’s been nothing going in, so I worry it’s going to be different after pushing out two babies.  Then there’s being wet enough that it’s comfortable for both of us…”

“Step by step, play by play.  You call all the shots.  If something doesn’t feel right for you, we’ll take a timeout, consider delaying the game.”

“You are really running with this sports analogy,” she chuckled.

“Yeah, well…”

She pulled him back into her, her mouth open, inviting his tongue.  She wanted him, they both knew it, enjoying the foreplay they had gotten all too familiar with.  They knew each other’s wants and needs, gripping shoulders and fingers tangling into hair.  Their groans for each other intensified, knowing what was to come.

Justin unzipped the dress, pulling it almost roughly off her body, lost in the hunger for her he’d felt those last 2 months.  “We have all night baby, but god damn if I don’t wanna take you here and now…”

He latched his mouth to her flesh, teasing her nipple with his tongue, her hand gripping the back of his head.  She arched her back, encouraging him to continue. He could sense her nerves, wanting to bring her as much pleasure as possible before they finally came together.

“Fuck, I want you so bad, Justin,” she groaned, reaching her hand between their bodies.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he growled.

“I… I don’t… know…” she said, flustered.  “I guess checking if…”

“Unless you’re gonna touch yourself for me, don’t you dare.  Fuck, we should’ve been doing THAT all this time.  All I know is when I touch right here,” he said, his fingers pressing against the fabric of her panties, “you’re so wet for me.  I really don’t think there’s anything to worry about.  You want me, I definitely want you…”

“Take me, Justin, make me fully yours, again.”

“In good time.  Like I said, we have all night, and I want to show you nothing has changed for me.”

He broke their embrace, his eyes flitting around the room.  Mikayla lay on the bed, watching him move to a small couch against the wall.  She marveled at how easily it moved for him, pushing it against the foot of the bed.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good baby,” he growled, stretching out over her body on the bed.  He kissed her deeply, kissing her neck, running his tongue along the shell of her ear, taking her earlobe between his teeth.  He enjoyed feeling her arch and roll under his touch. Their fooling around hadn’t been much different, but he knew tonight would be so much different than anything they’d done before.  As if it was their first time.  She wasn’t pregnant with JC’s babies anymore, her body fully his now.  In time he hoped to see her pregnant glow again, do things they’d done months ago, knowing the baby inside of her was his.  But that wouldn’t come tonight.

“Shit, I hadn’t even thought about…” he gasped aloud, no longer in his head.

“About what?”

“Protection.  I mean, I have some, but…”

“It’ll take a bit to come back.  However, I’m on birth control.  Once I got cleared for this, I told them what we’d decided on.  If you want to keep going without one, we’ll be fine.”

“God, now I want you even more somehow…”

He kissed down her body, sucking and nipping at her breasts, gently kissing her stomach, knowing what had been there, what he hoped for again someday.  His hands tugged her panties down her legs, her legs automatically splaying open for him.

He moved back up her body, pressing his tongue into her mouth.

“Tease,” she said, at least attempting to.  Justin chuckled against her lips, pressing his finger against her.

Her hips bucked at his touch, her body shuddering in her first release.  “Warming up still…”

“You?”

“YOU,” he stressed.  “I’m ready to play, but you still need to warm up.  You think you’re ready, probably are, but you know me, I play a long game.”

He worked her body into a frenzy, satisfied as she grunted in release.  He growled against her lips, moving his body down and off the bed, his knees resting on the seat of the couch.

Mikayla looked at him wide eyed, seeing the hunger in his eyes.  He was like a tiger, and she was his next meal, and she almost came just from that look in his eyes, the smirk on his face.  She was all his, and he knew it.

He wasted no time, no more teasing her, his tongue where she had desperately needed him, her groans becoming like screams for him to continue. She wrapped her legs around his shoulders, knowing full well he wouldn’t leave until he was satisfied, which meant until SHE was satisfied, but she couldn’t control her body any more than she could change the weather.  It was automatic, instinctual.  

He brought her closer to the edge, putting two fingers inside her.  She practically screamed at feeling him inside her again, how good it all felt.  “Fuck, Justin, yes… Just like that.  Oh god…”

He chuckled, the vibrations all but sending her over the edge.  It wasn’t until he pressed a third finger in, pressing on that perfect spot, a growl humming against her, that she fell apart.  Her scream of his name seemed to echo off the walls, her body convulsing in extreme pleasure.  He raised himself up, knees still on the couch, looking down at her splayed out before him, panting in the afterglow of her orgasm.

“How do you want this, baby?  Slow, seductive, romantic, or do you want raw and uninhibited?”

“I… Let’s start off slow, make sure things are really back to normal.  I’m still not entirely convinced, despite what you just did.  This bedroom is sound proofed, right?  I don’t want to wake the people next door because I’m screaming so loud…”

“We’re fine, you can be as loud as you want.  Never stopped you before.”

“That was then, this is now.”

“Enough of that.  Are you ready?”

She looked at him, nodding softly but surely. She had never wanted him more than she did in that moment.  Her legs dangled over the edge of the bed, running her feet along his thighs. Hooking against the back of his legs to pull him closer.

He needed no other signal, crawling onto the bed, positioning himself over her.  He kissed her as he pressed his hips against her, slowly pressing in.  She groaned at feeling him again, like the last two months had been a dream, nothing had changed except their need for each other growing and getting more intense.  

“You feel so good, Justin… yes.”

“Just tell me what to do, Kay.  You’re in control of this, all of it.”

She pulled his lips to hers, their tongues battling for dominance, Mikayla needing more. “Faster, harder.”

Justin was eager to comply, groaning as he felt his release bubbling towards the surface.  His pace even, firm and calculated to give her what she craved.  She was gasping for air, but it still wasn’t what she needed more than air.  She pushed him off of him, Justin unsure what to do next.  Her eyes flitted to the couch, Justin getting back onto it, waiting for what she’d do next. 

He smiled as he watch her turn around, wiggling her ass for him in invitation.  

“Really?” he asked, intrigued.

She chuckled.  “If I wanted THAT, we’d have been doing that for the last 2 months.  No, you know what I want.  Fuck me like an animal, make me howl and screech and scream.”

He pulled her hips to his, burying himself deep inside her.  She screamed at the swiftness he reacted with, his thrusts primal and animalistic.  He couldn’t control himself, desperate to have her, make her fully his.  His fingers dug into her hips, his thrusts making her cry out in pleasure as wave after wave hit her.

Something came over him, grabbing her hair in one hand, pulling her head back. Not too hard, but enough that she couldn’t look down if she tried.  “Who do you belong to?” he growled.

“You, Justin, I belong to you…”

“Say it again.”

“I’m yours, Justin.  No one else’s.”

“Whose babies will be in you from now on?”

“Yours, OURS.”

“You’re fully mine.”

“Yes, god yes Justin, I’m yours.  Oh fuck, I think I’m gonna…”

“Yes, hold on baby, I’m gonna cum, make you fully mine.”

She screamed as he lost any last bit of control, his hips pushing harder and faster than before, his body collapsing over hers as he felt his orgasm explode through him. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before.  

They gasped, panting for air as they came down from their high, Justin twisting her onto her back, lying on top of her, still inside her somehow.  He wasn’t sure how he managed it, but he also knew he didn't care.  It felt so right, his head on her breast, feeling her chest rise and fall with each breath, feeling each beat of her heart, almost as if it were outside her body.  

“I told you… nothing to worry about,” he panted.

“How was that the most intense time we’ve ever done that?” she wondered.

“Part of him was still there with the twins.  Now your body is fully mine, I don’t feel that ghost of him anymore.”

“Not when we’re like this.  I still feel it from time to time with the twins, Joshua’s blue eyes different than yours, but in bed, there was nothing holding me back.  As right as this felt between us before, it’s clearer now…”

Justin smiled.  “Let’s snuggle for a bit, then you are going to sit on that stool in the shower and let me devour you all over again…”

“Yeah, I don’t think we’re going to get much sleep tonight, and not because of the babies…”