The same night Justin was lying in another hotel bed, knowing he wouldn’t get much sleep. After what happened with Jessica, his pangs of conscience were keeping him awake. He was terrified how easily he lost his inhibitions. Of course he was devastated about the fact that Eve slept with Josh. And very obviously he drunk more wine he could handle. But this were just lame excuses for his behavior. 

Justin also wondered why Jessica acted this way. She was the one who asked for divorce, explaining to him that her feelings weren’t strong enough anymore. Was she just hurt and lonely after her break up with her boyfriend and needed some distraction? He remembered how much he suffered after their break up, despite the fact that he already was having feelings for Eve. Giving up on Jessica wasn’t easy. He really wished he tried harder to save their marriage. He needed to admit, that everything what he experienced with Eve after his divorce caused nothing else but heartache in the end. 

„Good morning, Eve. How are you today?“ Dr. Brown asked.

„I’m still deeply melancholic, Miranda.“ She answered. 

„What was your first thought after waking up this morning?“

„Josh.“

„What exactly were you thinking?“ 

„I was imagining his disappointment after learning that Jake isn’t his.“ 

„Did you make a plan how to tell him?“

„No. I know I shouldn’t waste any time, but I simply don’t know how.“ 

„What scares you the most when you imagine the situation?“

„That I’ll lose him.“ 

„Why do you believe he might give up on you?“ 

„Josh believes I just made out with Justin in Cuba. He will accuse me, that I lied and I can’t blame him. I mean, getting pregnant without having sex sounds insane, right?“ 

Miranda was also skeptical as she heard that story. But she kept her thoughts to herself at this point. 

„Don’t you see any chance he’ll stay with you despite the fact that the child isn’t his?“ 

„He wanted a baby, not me. And now it turned out it’s not his. This is too much to handle.“

„Lets pretend that’s how things will happen with Josh. Can you imagine just staying with Justin and raising Jake together?“ 

„I can.“

„How does the imagination make you feel?“ 

„Incomplete.“ 

„No happy feelings?“ 

„Of course the imagination being with Justin gives me happy feelings. But losing Josh is killing me from inside at the same time.“ 

„So, she started therapy, very good. I really hope the doc will bring your wife back to her senses.“ Chris said at the phone, after hearing what happened in the last days. 

„You sound like she was crazy or something.“ Josh replied annoyed. 

„She is crazy, man! People with healthy minds don’t act like this.“ Chris claimed. 

„She went through a lot.“ Josh defended Eve. 

„I’m not denying that fact. But all that shit made her lose her common sense at some point.“ 

„You’re so insensitive sometimes. I really regret I’m sharing all of this with you.“

„Actually, I’m surprised you do. Usually Lansten is your second choice. And then comes Joe…“ 

Josh sighed. 

„I don’t have a ranking, bro.“ 

„If you say so.“

„Are you really starting a fight because of this?“ 

„I don’t. But very obviously you can’t handle my honesty. And that makes me believe this is the reason why you usually don’t talk to me about your problems.“

Again Josh sighed.

„Maybe there is some truth in it. You can be very harsh and I have trouble to deal with it.“ 

„All of you do. That’s why I always learn about things at last.“

„Then try to be more understanding and supportive.“ 

„Is this turning into therapy session, as well?“ 

„Obviously.“

„Okay. I’m sorry that I called your wife crazy. She isn’t crazy. She’s just in a very questionable phase of her life. But I’m relieved, that she’s facing the problem and get some professional help.“

„See? It wasn’t that difficult being nice for a change, right?“ 

Chris rolled his eyes and decided changing the subject.

„You better tell me how T is doing, after you had sex with his girlfriend.“ 

„He’s fine. Actually, he’s still suggesting to have a triangle.“

„That little freak should see a shrink very urgently, as well.“  

„Christopher…“

„Just saying…“

Few days later Eve was sitting at her sofa, enjoying a snack, while Jake was making a nap. She just finished another session with Dr. Brown. Then the doorbell rang. Eve jumped up and hurried to the front door.

„You are really here! So good to see you!“ Lucy cheered and pulled Eve into her arms. 

They held each other for a moment. Lucy just returned from her honeymoon with Joey and came to Eve’s place straight away from the airport. 

„Come in. I need to talk to you.“ Eve said, after releasing her.

„Sound serious. But I’m not surprised. You didn’t came to Daytona by yourself without any reason…“

Lucy was shaking her head. She was in deep shock, after learning about Jake’s paternity test result. 

„It’s impossible Justin made you pregnant instead. There must be a mistake.“ 

„I googled it. It’s more likely winning the lottery, but it’s not completely impossible.“

„Eve, I’m beginning you… how hard must he came to do this to you???“ 

„I’m aware of how insane this sounds, but this is the only explanation I have.“

Lucy gave her a deep, serious look. 

„Be honest. Could it be, that there was real sex?“ 

„Lu… come on… don’t do this…“ 

„Okay. I’m sorry for saying it… you know I love you but… your life is a catastrophe.“

„I’m aware of that fact. That’s why I started therapy.“

„So, how is it going?“ 

„Miranda is still collecting information to get the whole picture. She didn’t start analyzing the situation at this point.“ 

„Well, I’m sure you’re keeping her pretty busy with your story.“

„I really believe she can help me understand myself better and giving me explanation why I turned into the person I am today. But in the end, she can’t help me with the fact, that there is no future for me and Josh. No matter what I learn about myself, I don’t have a choice anymore. As soon as Josh hears the truth about Jake, it will be over.“ 

„Are you ready for my assessment?“ Dr. Brown asked.

Eve was in Daytona for over a week now. She told her doctor everything what happened after she moved to Los Angeles. But Miranda also asked questions about her prior life. 

„Yes, I am.“ Eve answered.

„I think it won’t surprise you when I say, that your trauma didn’t begin in California.“ Miranda said. 

„You’re talking about Tom.“ Eve replied.

„Exactly. I was very surprised, that you didn’t get any mental support after his death. Very obviously you weren’t able recovering from this tragical incident on your own. Everybody griefs differently. But you needed five years to move on with your life. Actually, you never overcome his death. You simply made peace with the pain and the guilt in your heart.“

„But things changed when I made peace with my mom.“

„It was a very smart move from Josh confronting you with that problem. Forgiving your mother was an important step. But you should have forgiven yourself, as well. And I can’t see that this happened until today.“

Eve needed a moment to think about it.

„Maybe you’re right. But what does this have to do with my current problems?“ 

„There’s some unfinished business in your head, Eve. It’s a burden you might not even notice anymore. But it’s still there and has power over you.“

„I don’t understand.“

„Look. When Josh learned about your fling with Justin in Cuba, he left for two weeks. What did you do then?“ 

„I moved out as I believed he went back to Jen, after seeing the pictures from them in the yellow press.“ 

„Exactly. And the same thing happened when he woke up with amnesia and kept you on distance. You moved out, again believing he wants his ex girlfriend back.“ 

„I’m still missing the point, Miranda.“

„You give up easily. You always see the worst case scenario before it even happened. Then you panic and try to escape from the situation to keep yourself from more harm.“

„And the reason I act this way is, that I didn’t forgive myself for what I did to Tom?“ 

„Yes. You believe bad things happen to you because you don’t deserve better. That’s why you accept the circumstances instead of trying harder to solve your problems.“ 

Eve needed to admit that there was some truth in it. Dr. Brown continued talking.

„I have another example.“

„Which one?“

„When you received the paternity test results you immediately believed, that Josh will never forgive you. Again you expected the worst thing to happen without even trying to find out, if this was the case. And then you just left.“

„Are you saying, that going to Daytona was another escape?“

„Absolutely. There was no reason leaving town for doing therapy and having a break from work and the men in your life.“

Eve sighed. 

„It’s ironic. I blamed Josh for running away always when things get difficult, but I’m not any better.“ 

„No, you can’t compare your behavior with his, Eve.“

„Why not?“ 

„Because his motives are different.“

„Means?“ 

„He runs away to heal or look for a solution. You run away because you give up.“