Eve felt like throwing up any second. Although she felt the urge rushing outside the house and leaving the whole situation, she decided not to. Instead she hurried upstairs into the bedroom. Then she sat down at the edge of the bed, trying to calm down somehow. She closed her eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply.
„Relax. Maybe there is an explanation.“ She talked to herself in her thoughts.
In the next second Justin entered the room and brought her back to reality. Her sickness got worse again, as she saw him coming closer. Then he sat down next to her. She didn’t know how to behave, being completely overwhelmed.
Justin was feeling like the worst person on earth. He didn’t know how to start.
„Just say it.“ Eve almost whispered.
Her eyes were filling with tears. Justin noticed. His eyes begun swimming, as well.
„It was the night I learned about you sleeping with C.“ He whispered back.
Eve needed a moment to process, before she answered.
„So… it was revenge.“
„No. Absolutely not. I just drank too much.“
Eve didn’t know how to reply. She just stared into space.
„I’m not trying to play the situation down, but you must know we didn’t have sex.“ He added.
She was surprised to hear that and moved her head slowly in his direction. Tears were dropping at her cheeks.
„Then what was this about?“
„I was terribly drunk. Honestly, I can’t remember anything what happened that night.“
Eve scoffed.
„Another case of amnesia, hm?“
„Jess explained we made out but then… I couldn’t…“ Justin didn’t finish his sentence.
Eve frowned.
„You couldn’t what?“
„I just wasn’t… ready…“
Eve had trouble to believe what she was listening to.
„Since when this is a problem?“
„As I said, I can’t remember anything.“
Eve looked away again.
„Why you didn’t tell me?“ She wanted to know.
„I was a coward and afraid of losing you.“
„How could you be that careless and getting caught by Silas?“
„He didn’t caught us. I’m sure he didn’t see me coming out of Jess’ bedroom. Probably he heard us talking in the morning when I woke up.“
Eve closed her eyes and took another deep breath before she continued asking.
„Do you love her?“
Justin didn’t reply. Eve’s heart accelerated. She looked at him again, with her eyes open wide.
„You still love her?“ She stammered.
Justin sighed.
„I don’t know how I feel about her. All I know is, that being together for ten years was meaningful. It wasn’t me who gave up on us. I didn’t want her to leave. I truly suffered.“
Eve nodded. She remembered the time when he moved into their house after their break up, being a mess.
„When I hear you saying that, all we went through seems meaningless.“ She replied.
Justin grabbed her right thigh.
„Eve, please don’t think that. I’m madly in love with you. I love you so much, that it hurts.“
„Then why, Justin?“ She sobbed, wiping away her tears.
„I don’t know. I wished I could explain why I let it happen. But I can’t.“
Eve closed her eyes and took another deep breath.
„What’s with her boyfriend? I believed she’s crazy in love with him.“
„It’s over. They broke up before I came to Montana.“
Eve got lost in thoughts for a moment. Then she continued talking.
„You need to find out what you want, Justin.“
„What does that mean?“
„You said it yourself. You don’t know what you feel for Jess.“
„One thing I am sure of is, that I don’t wanna lose you.“
Eve scoffed and gave him a cynical smile.
„Well. You can’t have us both.“
Miranda took a deep breath after hearing the latest news the next day. Eve was sitting at her sofa, her eyes being puffy from crying.
„Honestly, I don’t know where to start.“ She finally said.
„Just tell me what to do.“ Eve sobbed.
„Telling you what to do is not my job.“
„I don’t deserve better, right? It’s my fault. I asked for too much and now I am paying the price.“
Miranda cracked a smile.
„Do you see what is happening?“
„What is happening?“
„You’re blaming yourself again. You always do when bad things happen to you.“
„This is not helping, Miranda.“
„Understanding your own behavior is an important part of your therapy.“
„I need advice how to deal with the mess. Do I have the right being mad at Justin? I mean, I slept with Josh. Justin gave me his blessing, but I knew it was wrong. Still I did it without hesitating. So, I have no right blaming him for what he did with Jess.“
„You are looking for excuses to play the situation down.“
„Are you saying I should be mad at him?“
„I’m not here to tell you how to feel.“
Eve sighed with frustration.
„So what now?“
„First of all, tell me what happened after Justin confessed.“
„I packed some stuff and spent the night at Mateo’s place.“
„Eve.“
„I know. I was running away again.“
„What did Josh say?“
„He was understanding. I said I need space and he let me go.“
„Are you going back home tonight?“
„Yes. I need to see my little boy.“
„Do you still want the triangle?“
Eve looked at Miranda for a moment.
„The whole situation suddenly feels completely wrong.“
„Why?“
„Because very obviously Justin isn’t finished with Jess.“
„Interesting.“ Miranda said, bending her body into Eve’s direction.
Eve raised her eyebrows.
„Interesting?“
„You are sad about what Justin did to. But I’m surprised you’re not completely losing your mind because of this. You’re even looking for lame excuses to justify his behavior. And out of the blue, the triangle makes no sense.“
Eve frowned.
„I’m a little lost here.“
„You made a choice, Eve.“
She couldn’t be more flustered.
„Miranda. I don’t feel like I made a choice.“
„Trust me. You did.“
Eve got lost in thoughts. She tried to understand what Miranda just said, but it made no sense.
„Look.“ Miranda continued talking. „Justin was your savior. He always made everything right. He was a reliable friend and partner for a very long time. Giving up on him couldn’t feel more wrong, because he was perfect. That’s why you looked for a solution to stay with him. But Justin made a big mistake now. I know you’re truly upset about it. But this was what you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been waiting for a reason to allow yourself making a choice. And now as it happened, the triangle stopped making sense.“
„I am shocked how you see things…“ Eve stammered. „The only reason why I’m putting the triangle into question is because I believe he still loves Jess!“
„You don’t know that. But you want that.“
„What?!“
„When he goes back to his ex wife, the world will be back in order.“
„I love him! I really love him, Miranda!“
„I totally agree. How could you not love the man who did everything for you, when you’ve been a human wrack? But this kind of love is different, comparing to your love for Josh.“
„I don’t understand!“
„Your love for Josh is based on chemistry. It happened to you without any effort. It was pure passion from the start. Your love for Justin was a slow process. It is based on deep friendship and gratitude. This kind of love is precious, I’m not denying the fact. But it can’t compete with chemistry, Eve.“
