“Thank you for having me, it was wonderful getting to meet you all.  Tim, my man, we’ll work stuff out for you to come practice on a real court.  When are tryouts?”

“Next week…”

“Well, hopefully some of what I showed you stays in that brain of yours.  Good luck, kid.  Whether you make it or not, we’ll find time to play, ok?”

“Thanks, Justin,” he said, giving Justin a low five.

“It was nice to meet you, Justin.  I’m so glad you make Jenny happy,” Barbara said.  “You’re welcome here any time.”

“Might just have to bring this one here more often, now that I know she’s so close to the school…”

“You’re a good man, Justin,” Jean said firmly.  “I can tell you were raised right.”

“They did their best,” Justin shrugged, almost blushing, pulling his head down towards his chest in slight embarrassment.

“See you soon,” Jenny said to all of them.  Her family stayed on the front porch as they walked across the front lawn to Justin’s car.  He opened her door for him before getting in and driving them back to school.

“Thank you for coming with me, you didn’t have to.  I would’ve understood…”

“You’re my girlfriend, I’d do just about anything for you.”

“Why don’t you go home more?” Jenny wondered. 

“It’s just my parents and the dogs.  They go out places on the weekends, they usually aren’t home. I did get a request to be home for Thanksgiving. Would you want to come with me for that, then I’d go with your family for Christmas?”

“Planning the next couple months out, huh?” Jenny giggled.  “You must think this is pretty serious.”

“I do. Not in a rush for anything, we’re still in school, but yeah, I know my end goal.”

“Yeah?” she blushed. 

“If things keep going the way they are, yeah.  Make you more than just my girlfriend…”

“Business partners?” Jenny teased. 

“You really want me to say it, don’t you?”

“Little bit, yeah,” she laughed. 

His face went pink with blush.  “I wanna marry you, Jenny. Someday.”

“You love me?” Jenny asked with a gasp.

“Not there yet., but closer than I’ve been with anyone in a long time.  As much as I tried to deny it at the beginning, I knew pretty much right away that there was something there.  That’s actually why I offered to help you with that box.  I had been watching you from my window.  Well, it didn't start off that way…”

“How did it start, then?”

“Not exactly sure, but I was looking out the window to see who was moving in, to see if I saw any familiar faces from last year come back.  Then I saw you.  I was impressed by you carrying boxes by yourself, then saw it was you and your mom.  I saw the big box and rushed down in time to help you bring it in. You said you liked me at that moment, too, right?”

“I’d never seen eyes as blue as yours.  That’s why we tripped, I was so lost in your eyes I didn’t see the curb behind you.  I still get lost in your eyes sometimes.”

“Yeah?  I think after we grab a quick bite for dinner we should spend tonight getting lost in each other’s eyes…”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Jenny smiled.  

“You know I mean fooling around right?”

“Yes,” she giggled.  “Couldn’t exactly do what we usually do last night, it was too risky.”

“You can be as loud as you want tonight, baby.  It was fun watching you try to be quiet, though.”

“I can’t help it, you bring it out of me…”

“I’ll bring a lot out of you tonight.”

…

Jenny woke up the next morning, kissing Justin goodbye before going downstairs to get her clothes for the day and stuff to shower.  She took her time enjoying the warmth of the water, her mind wandering to the imagination of Justin accidentally walking in on her at the house.  Would he have been flustered, or played it off and stayed as quiet as possible to enjoy the moment.  Would she have hid, knowing he was waiting for a specific moment, or would she decide the hell with it, that was going to be their moment.  She was thankful she was alone in the bathroom, letting things play out how she imagined, hoped for.

She walked back into her dorm room when she saw it.  A small gold box on her pillow.

“What’s this?” she wondered quietly.

“That… well, there’s a story behind that,” Maddie said.  “Wanna hear it?”

“I feel like I have to.”

“I was in the common room yesterday when he waltzed in like he owned the place.  He looked around a bit before he saw me.  I gave him the stink eye, but he still approached me, asking me to follow him down the hall here.  I refused, so he invited me outside to talk.  He asked if I knew where you were, that he’d been calling, texting you and getting no answer.  I told him you were with Justin, but that was all that I knew, knowing full well where you really were.”

“What about the box?”

“He looked desperate, like a junkie looking for his next fix.  Eyes almost bloodshot, like he hadn’t slept.  My best guess is he hadn't slept since you called him on Saturday.  He slid the box into my hands, begging me to make sure you got it.  I toyed with him a little, saying how he didn't deserve you for as long as he had you, he agreed with a sad face.  He started muttering things, upset with himself about losing you.  Lille he’d rehearsed what he wanted to say to you, but it was me instead and that wouldn’t work.  He walked away slowly, like a dog with its tail between its legs.”

“Did you open it?”

“No, for all I know he cut off his junk to give it to you to remember him by,” Maddie laughed.

Jenny held the box, it was small and relatively light.  She gently lifted the top, finding a note inside along with a necklace.

Jenny, 

I know I don’t deserve you, I shouldn’t lay any claim to you after things I’ve said.  Once you said it was over, I knew it wasn’t.  Not for me.  If what we had meant anything to you, please wear this necklace so I can still feel I have a part of you when you’re in class.  There’s only 6 weeks left, 10 classes before finals.

You did what no one else has done in a long time, Genevieve.  You have my heart, as much as music is part of both of us, inside us, needing it like air, food, water.  I know you’ve moved on, but wear this necklace as a reminder of what we had.  

I’m playing a showcase at a club called Toons the Saturday after finals.  I hope you’ll come to hear me sing, I’m one of several bands and such going on that night.  It would mean the world to me to see you one last time after you’re finished with my class.  

I hope to see you wear this in class, leave me with a little of my dignity.

Yours,

Joshua

Inside was a small white gold treble clef pendant.  At the center of the music note was a small red heart shaped stone.  To the casual observer that knew Jenny, it would seem like a perfect accessory, given her major.  No one would think it was a token of affection from a forbidden love affair with a professor.

“You gonna wear it?”

“Yeah.  Not because it means something to me, but to him.  It’s beautiful, if I didn't hate needles I’d get a tattoo of it somewhere. I ended things so abruptly, before even I had really planned on.  I’d told him he had until Justin and I slept together, but things he said, the connection we have, I can’t deny that and continue seeing Josh.”

“Now I’m curious,” Maddie said.

“He said no one could make me feel what he does, sexually.  For a while he was right.  Justin was afraid to touch me, as if doing so would mean he was still the player I assumed him to be.  But after the party Friday night we got to talking, then fooling around, and… well…”

“Best orgasm ever?” Maddie laughed.

“Yes and no.  Don’t get me wrong, Josh gave me plenty of earth shattering moments, but with Justin there was that deeper emotional connection with it, that it was as close to what Josh and I had as we could get before actually having sex.  I knew that this was just a preview of what things could be like with him.  To have that sexual intensity but also that deeper connection.  He told me he wants to marry me, someday.  Josh told me that was never an option for us.  Why continue on with a man I have no future with when there’s a man literally wanting to give me everything I could ever want for myself?  Josh and I were never meant to last, so why continue before I fell completely head over heels for him?”

“Were you starting to?”

“Kinda.  He’d said things, that if he wasn’t married, he’d see himself falling for me, giving me the life I want.  But the reality of the situation is that he can’t.  I even suggested just being together, not married, and he said no.  Maybe because he knew I didn't fully want that, maybe because he knew he wouldn’t want to be tied down more than he already is.  Whatever I felt for him was empty, no future of anything more.  With Justin, I have so much potential ahead of me.”

Maddie looked at her clock.  “Finish getting ready, I expect Justin will be down soon to get you for breakfast before class.”

Jenny nodded, knowing Maddie was right.  She put the necklace on, grabbing her books and binders she’d need for the first couple classes.  It easily hid under the lightweight scarf she threw on, hoping Justin wouldn’t notice it and ask.  She wasn’t sure how she’d answer if he questioned her about it.  She put her shoes on moments before Justin knocked at her door.  

“Morning, beautiful,” he smiled, kissing her gently as she opened the door.

“As if she wasn’t in your bed an hour and a half ago…” Maddie teased.

“She’s still beautiful,” Justin replied.  “You ready to go?”

Jenny nodded, leaving with Justin for the morning.  They had their usual breakfast, Jenny feeling relieved at having a routine with him.  It didn’t feel boring, it felt like a commitment, something reliable she could count on.

In their Sci Fi class, they had started on comic books, which she thought would be interesting and easy enough, until they started talking about the subtexts and things within the story.  They were reading V for Vendetta, and would watch the movie upon finishing the book.

Somehow they got on the topic of archaic rituals society had kept, such as women taking on a man’s name when they married.  To give up your identity based on a man.

“How many women here would actually change their name if and when they get married?” the professor asked, trying to make a point.

Jenny was honestly surprised when she was the only one to raise her hand.  Either everyone else felt the same as their professor, or kept their hands down to placate the woman in front of them.

“Why?” she asked Jenny.  “Why give up your identity?”

“That’s only one piece.  Changing your last name doesn’t mean you lose yourself in another person.  And if you do, I think there’s beauty in that.  You don’t give up who you are, you recognize you are more fully yourself with that person.  Thankfully for me, my first and middle name are tied to my family, so I will always have that connection, no matter what my last name is.  A name is a name, it has nothing to do with who you are as a person.  So I fully intend to change my name someday, to recognize I am more fully myself when I’m with that person.  We thrive in relationships with people, platonic or romantic.  Finding someone to bring out who you are, not suppress it, is something to be desired, not pushed away.  To be vulnerable with someone, being your most honest self.  I don’t see how that’s a bad thing.”

Justin looked at Jenny in awe of how she stood her ground, smiling at the thought that he was helping her be her full self.  She was standing her ground, and that made her all the more attractive to him.

They went on to JC’s class, Jenny almost gasping when he walked into the room.  He was more haggard, he hadn’t shaved, looked like he hadn’t slept.  This wasn’t the JC she knew, and her stomach dropped a bit realizing she was the reason for this change.

“What’s wrong with him?” Justin wondered quietly.  “He should have just canceled class, he looks like shit.”

“Probably feels like shit to match,” Jenny whispered back. 

JC managed to teach, though with less enthusiasm than normal, despite loving the subject matter.  He made eye contact with her briefly, Jenny wanting to look away but also try and comfort him somehow.  She knew he was having a rough time.  She pulled at her scarf, loosening it a bit.  JC kept his eyes on her as he talked, seeing the pendant peek out from behind the scarf.  

His face softened, his eyes brightened, standing a little taller.  She played with the pendant absentmindedly as she took notes.  Justin noticed the change in JC, as most of them did, but didn't realize Jenny was what made him change.

As class finished, Jenny walked close to JC as she headed for the door.  “Have a good day, professor.”

“Much better already,” JC smiled.

…

They were eating lunch when Jenny looked at Justin.  “We have 6 weeks until finals, and I still haven’t heard the song you’re working on.  I know I’m a quick study as far as lyrics, but I want to know this piece like the back of my hand, where singing it is second nature to me.  We need to get started on that, both of us.”

“Friday.  Does that sound ok?  I’ll have it ready to present, as it were.  See what you think of it.”

“It’ll be ready by then?  I know you’ve been wanting it to be perfect…”

“It’s ready.  I’ve just been nervous to play it for you, until now.  I don’t know why.  But hearing you in class today standing up to the professor, well, it made me hope that you’re your best self, your true self, when you’re with me.”

“I am.  I meant every word, and I have all of that with you.”

Justin’s mind was going a mile a minute, working on making plans for Friday to be a night she’d never forget.