JC sighed, facing away from her.  “Jenny, you should go.”

“No.  I’m not leaving you like this.  You need someone.”

“I’m not asking you to go, I’m telling you.  Go.  Now.  Please…”

“No Josh, you shouldnt’ be alone right now.”

“Go play with your lover boy, I’m sure he’ll satisfy you,” JC spat.

“This has nothing to do with him.  And he’s got a road game, he’s not here.  I’m not here for that, I’m here for YOU, as a person.  Josh, it’s ok to hurt.  He was your dad.”

She was shocked as he began to shake, crying.  She sat down on the edge of the bed, close to him while still giving him space.  He was balled up in the fetal position.  She started to get teary eyed just from the intense emotion in the room.

What he said next broke her heart.  “I hate him, Jenny.  I hate him so much.  When my mom called asking me to see him, I couldn’t even go into the hospital room he eventually died in.  I should have gone in, to see him as this pitiful man instead of remembering when he was younger, full of life, but also the man keeping me away from everything I ever wanted.  He took away so much from me and my mom.  I hated the bastard, I’ve been wishing him dead for years.  So why does it hurt so much?”

“Because at the end of the day, he’s still your dad. And you loved him on some level.”

“Nothing I ever did was good enough for him. Nothing my mom ever did was good enough.  I hate him ....” He sobbed into the pillow he was holding onto. “ Not even when I was forced to get married…. He still said I was a complete loser. “  

“You are not a loser.  You have a lot going for you. “ She tried to reassure him.

“Like what? I’m an adjunct professor at a college I went to. Have had multiple affairs on a wife who gives less than a fuck about what I do or who I fuck. I lost you…” 

The last part of that sentence stung. She didn't know what to say, so she just let him talk.

 He turned to face her, and said, “Of all the things I regret in my life, that is what I regret the most.” 

“ What do you regret?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know what his answer was. 

“ Losing you,“ he said, sitting up, and leaning into the headboard of the bed. Not even trying to reach out to her. 

“Losing me?”

“You want me to admit it to you? Would that make you happy? I fell for you. Hard. “

Jenny sat there in shock. Not believing what was happening.

“You WHAT?!  I thought you didn't do emotions…”

“You’re different, Jenny.  I can’t tell you what it is, but you, I fell for.  That’s why I can’t let go of us.  I need you, Jenny.  You wanted vulnerable, here it is.  My saint and yet monster of a dad is dead, and I have feelings for you.”

“You’re still married, JC.  Until that is remedied, you’re just standing in your own way.”

“Would you be with me if I wasn’t married?”

“Are we talking hypotheticals, or…?”

“Right now.  If I were to tell you I was getting divorced, would you break up with him to be with me?”

Jenny’s head was swimming.  “I…”

“Just go.  Leave me alone.  I can’t do this right now, I don’t have it in me.  I know I’ve lost you, so just walk out that door.  If I meant ANYTHING to you, I’ve got a gig with some friends at Toons, that club on 2nd street, the Saturday after finals.  I’d like you to come.  If any of what we did meant anything to you.”

“Josh…”

He completely broke right there in front of her. She pulled him into her arms and laid down in the bed with him and let him cry it out.  She woke up sometime later in his bed, still fully clothed, but wrapped tightly in his arms. He was sleeping peacefully, so she slipped out of his arms. She kissed him on the forehead and left him sleeping.  She locked the door behind her as she left his apartment. 

She barely made it back to her dorm room right before midnight. To her dismay, she found Justin sitting outside her room, sitting on the floor.

He looked up and said, “Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick, Maddie didn't know where you were. I was afraid that maybe…” he said, standing up and pulling her into his embrace.  She had accidentally turned her phone off, but was still in shock to see her boyfriend in front of her so soon.

“What are you doing here?  You just played earlier today…”

“I got my own flight home, I couldn’t be away from you any longer than I had to.  Once the game was over, which we won, by the way, I got the first flight home.  So where were you?”

Jenny scrambled for an answer.  “I was with a good friend. Her dad died last night, and she needed someone to talk to,” she lied. 

“Do I know them?” he asked.

“No , I knew them from high school, “ she said, digging herself deeper.  He started to kiss her, and said, “You wanna go up to my room?”

“I’ll have to change first, if you know what I mean.”

“Plenty of time for that this weekend.  It’d be really hot if you wore it to dinner tomorrow, then I can unwrap an early Christmas gift after…”

“So are you still wanting…?”

“Not tonight, though I appreciate the enthusiasm.  Between the game and the flight, I’m kinda tired, then worrying where you were…”

“I was a couple blocks off campus, I was fine.  I’m here now, that’s what matters.  If you just wanna sleep, we’ll sleep.  I’ll just tell Maddie…”

“I can hear you through the door…” Maddie groaned.  “I’m glad you’re safe, I’ll see you in the morning to grab your things.  Now let me sleep.”

“It’s cute you think we’ll sleep…” a male voice behind the door said.

“Jeremy, they’ll hear you…” she heard Maddie laugh through the door.

She looked at Justin in surprise, Justin standing up and walking down the hall towards the common room and the stairs.  “Yeah, I brought him with me.  I don’t think they realized I was out there, I really don’t wanna think about some of the things I heard…”

“We’ll have our own chance soon.  You really wanna do that while at your parents?  I mean, I know they said ok, but…”

“Our rooms are as far apart as they could be without one of us being upstairs.  So you’re not as loud as usual, maybe just whisper it or something.  Maybe we can get a little in tomorrow morning before we leave, but I wanna see that lingerie and I do plan on sex at least once at my house.  I can’t help myself, Jenny, you do things to me no one else has.”

“THAT’S an understatement…”

“You know what I mean.  I’ve never felt like this.  Even with the girls I’d hook up with, things were never this hot and heavy.  I need you, Jenny.”

She blinked, remembering how JC said those same words to her hours ago.  A line was starting to be crossed, and she was very unsure about anything anymore.  She knew she loved Justin, but JC was clearly hurting, and she wanted to be there as a friend for him, but worried she’d fall too far, slip into old habits.  Justin was giving her everything she wanted, but JC was now opening himself up to her in ways she knew he wouldn’t with anyone else.

They entered his room, Justin pulling her into his arms after he closed the door.  He kissed her deeply, his pants shifting as he became more aroused.  

“I thought you were too tired,” Jenny smiled between kisses.

“I was, but I suddenly have a second wind.”

“Funny how that works, isn’t it?”

…

“I’ve got most of my stuff packed, but I wanna talk to Maddie, assuming Jeremy isn’t still there…”

“I’ll see you in a bit, I’ll wait in the common room.  Don’t be too long.  Love you.”  Justin gave her a quick peck before letting her go downstairs to her room.

Jenny carefully checked the door to her room, finding it unlocked.  She opened it slowly, it creaking slightly.

“Jeremy went home a while ago,” Maddie groaned.  “What happened yesterday, is everything ok?”

“No,“ Jenny croaked.

“What’s wrong?”

“Josh did not show up for class. We got Dr. Morrison for the next few weeks. I texted Josh to see what was wrong. He said his dad died.” Jenny said, looking at her best friend.  “I had to make sure he was ok. So I went over to his apartment in the middle of class.” 

Maddie covered her face with her hands, “ Sweet Jesus, you didn’t fuck him again, did you?”

“No. It wasn’t like that at all. He was broken, Maddie. He was a mess. And he needed someone.”

“Yeah, I bet. I bet this is all a lie to get you back in the sack again.”

“No, it wasn't. You aren't hearing me Maddie. He was really fucked up by this. I saw a whole new side to him that I’ve never seen before.”

“Not the naked side, I hope. You have seen enough of that side.”

Maddie sat up in her bed, getting a good look at her friend. She was telling the truth. 

“He told me he fell for me, that he needs me,” Jenny said, and her face turned white. “ Maddie, what am I supposed to do with that?”  Her feelings were all jumbled up at the moment. Josh had feelings for her, and so did Justin. And all she felt was sick to her stomach..

" Jenny, do you have feelings for Josh?" Maddie wondered.

She looked away, not wanting  to tell the truth.

" Jenny,"  Maddie said again.

" Yes, ok?" she said quietly.

“No, this is not ok!  You can’t have feelings for two guys at the same time.  First you were fucking Josh and having feelings for Justin, now you’re fucking Justin and having feeling for Josh.  You love Justin, he’s the better choice, he won’t hurt you in the end.”

“I know, but I can’t help what I feel for Josh.  I don’t plan on doing anything about it, he’s still married.  As much as I might still like him, nothing more can happen between us.”

“At least you’re being smart about that.  Grab your stuff, I’m sure Justin is waiting for you.  You’re sure nothing happened last night, you were gone for a while to miss your last class and not come back until late…”

“I fell asleep on his bed, but only cuz I was holding him while he cried.  Nothing happened.He’s not in a place where anything could have happened, it would have just piled on guilt.”

“Finish getting ready, you know what you’re gonna wear?”

“Yeah,” Jenny said, reaching into her side of the closet.  She pulled out a wine colored sweater dress, pairing it with black boots.  Her hair was down, simple but nice.

Maddie watched her, seeing Jenny pull out the lingerie they’d bought.  “You’re really wearing that today, around his parents?”

“He asked me to.  We’re having some alone time after dessert tonight.”

“Man, you’re so adventurous,” Maddie laughed.  “Jeremy would never, not that I’ve even met his parents yet.  You’d think this is the first time you’re meeting them, going a little over the top…”

“You should see their house.  I feel like this might be too casual, but I’m going with it.”

“It’s Thanksgiving, I doubt it’s THAT fancy.  Rich people aren’t fancy ALL the time.”

“I guess so, I mean, look at Justin,” Jenny smiled softly.  “Man, I love him so much.  I really do feel bad about feelings for Josh still lingering around.  His being married has always been the stopping point of it all.  I can’t have more with him, so why go beyond that and set myself up for heartbreak?  Walking away from sex with him hurt a little, but it was the right thing.  It broke him, something I don’t think either of us expected.  I figured he was with someone else, but what he said yesterday, I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Stop thinking about it.  You have Justin, and one day I’ll be maid of honor at your wedding and holding the adorable babies you’re gonna have someday.  It might feel like a safer choice, but it’s everything you want.  You aren’t settling this time, he’s a great guy who worships the ground you walk on.  You deserve Justin, you were meant to be together.  Go enjoy your weekend. 

Jenny grabbed the last of her things and headed to the common room.  She was surprised to see Justin in a tee shirt and jeans.

“You’re awfully dressed up,” Justin remarked.

“You’re not,” Jenny laughed.

“It’s Thanksgiving with my parents, of course not.”

“I wasn’t sure.  At least this way I look good.”

“You wearing whatever lingerie you bought for me?” he asked quietly in her ear.

“I didn’t forget…”

“Then you’re fucking perfect.  Let’s go.”

They walked to the parking garage, getting into Justin’s car.  They were about halfway to his house when her phone buzzed.

Thank you for yesterday.

She smiled, seeing Josh text her, how vulnerable he had been, was still being by texting her.

You’re welcome. You needed someone. Are you okay?

I'd be lying if I said yes. But, much better than yesterday .

She put her phone down, it buzzing again a few minutes later as they got off the freeway.

I meant what I said yesterday.  I need you Jenny, I have feelings for you. It's ok if you don't feel the same. I just had to let you know.

She couldn’t get into this discussion now, not over text and certainly not sitting so close to Justin.

“You ok?  Who’s texting you?”

“My friend, thanking me for yesterday.”

“You’re a good friend, Jenny.  That comes as no surprise, though.  I’m glad we were friends first, and that things have progressed the way they have.  The way I felt about you when we first met, I never thought it would lead to this…”

“What would have happened, do you think?”

“If I just went off my first impression?  We’d hook up, well, fool around, I definitely found you sexy, beautiful.  Your eyes, I’d never seen eyes so beautiful before.”

“Would it have gone anywhere?”

“Maybe.  I’m sure at some point you’d find out about my reputation, wondering whether what we had was real or just another fling.  At least how it did happen, you knew my feelings for you, that this wasn’t just another fling.  I don’t know if we’d be here now, but I’m glad we are,” he said, taking her hand in his.