“I didn’t realize that was an option,” Justin said.  “You doubted I could give her what you did.”

“And you both doubt that I can give her what you do.  She wouldn’t have the energy for me that way, not after what I just saw. I must say she’s a lucky woman if she chooses you, I’d know she’s in capable hands. But I’m not giving her up without giving her everything I can offer her now, things I’d held back from for a long time.  Jenny, I feel like I did with her, before I was forced out of a relationship with someone I love.  I fought my feelings for you for too long, letting you be with him. But I can’t imagine feeling the way I do about anyone else.  I’m sorry I waited until now, I didn’t want to hurt you or myself by admitting my feelings and them not being returned, not being able to live you the way you deserve because I was trapped in an arranged marriage.”

“You CHOSE to go through with it. I know you felt this responsibility to your family, but I can’t believe your happiness wasn’t worth sacrificing for that. Money doesn’t give you half of what you want, you did it for the money, for your family, even when your dad gave you a way out.  So you chose this, don’t bullshit me that this was all forced.”

“It’s been 5 years, Jenny.  You’re right, I could have chosen not to go through with it, but I still had to leave a woman and a future I wanted in the process. I haven’t felt that way about anyone else, not until you came along. I can’t pretend you don’t mean something to me anymore. I tried and I just can’t. I’m not losing you without a fight.  Let me show you how much you mean to me.”

She looked at Justin, shrugging his shoulders in resignation. “It would be really easy to just say screw it and take you out of here, or to just walk away from it all. I’m really hoping you choose me, so I need to be fair and give him the chance he gave me. Not that either of us like it, but I started this, I need to let it play out.”

Justin got dressed as JC started towards the bed.  JC rolled her onto her stomach, straddling her while remaining fully clothed.  He slowly rubbed her shoulders, surprising Justin that he was being so gentle.

Jenny’s mind wandered to the night before, Justin giving her the same treatment.  A lazy smile spread across her face at how the night went, the gentle and wild side of him all at once.  She wondered if JC would be the same, or actually give her something more intimate and less animal.

She felt herself relax, finding not exactly rest in that moment, but not being rushed into another round of sex. She could still almost feel Justin within her, thankful JC was in no hurry. 

He slowly rubbed the muscles in her back, down her arms, gently kissing her shoulders and back as he went. He laid down next to her when he was finished, being silently present with her, just looking into her eyes.  He took her hand in his, placing tender kisses along the back of her hand and on each of her fingers.  

“I’m going to kiss you, Genevieve.  When you’re ready to start our turn, kiss me back.”  He pulled her body close to him, kissing her cheeks, her temples and forehead, slowly and gently, nothing being rushed.

He moved from kissing her cheek when she captured his lips with hers, ready to see what he had to offer.  His kisses were soft and slow, something she’d never felt with him, yet craved more of.  He gently pressed his tongue against her lips, Jenny letting him in, their tongues exploring each other.  It feels so different than any other time she’s been with him, almost like a first time.  Her mind went to Justin and her first time, how unsure he was, so nervous and anxious to please her.  She knew this wasn’t JC’s first time, hell, it wasn’t even their first time together.  But the gentleness he was using with her made it feel like the start of something new.  Could he really be gentle with her, allowing himself to be vulnerable and truly intimate with someone, making love instead of just intense fucking?

His hands caressed her body, Jenny surprised by how gentle he was being.  He softly cupped her breast, slowly grazing her nipple with his thumb, sending a shiver down her body.  

“Was that a good thing?” he asked carefully.

“Very good.  Keep going.”

Justin was thankful JC was still fully clothed, but tried his best to just watch her, imagine it was him on top of her instead of watching her with someone else.  He was surprised to find his thickness stirring back to life as he watched her face, yet trying to keep things at bay reminding himself none of what he was seeing was for him.  He shouldn’t be here, watching her with someone else.  The more she began to enjoy JC, the more Justin just wanted to leave, feeling an uneasiness in his stomach, like he was going to be sick.  As much as he wanted more of her, she was wanting someone else at the moment, and the thought of losing her to him just about broke him in every way possible.

Jenny stopped as she saw him rush out of the room from the corner of her eye, hearing his rushed steps across the room.  She lay on the bed, her eyes fixed on the door, her face wincing as she heard Justin emptying his stomach into the toilet.

“I should check on him,” Jenny said.

“I must not be doing a good enough job, that you’re worrying about someone else right now.”

“My boyfriend just threw up in your bathroom…”

“He’s only your boyfriend until you leave him for me.”

“I hadn’t actually thought about that.  I mean, I know you’re making me choose, but to really end things… I don’t know that I can do this.  I can only have one of you, but to know I’m breaking the heart of the other, I can’t bear that, Josh.  I don’t know what to do.”

“It was going to come eventually.  You’ve been trying to let me go for a while.”

“I wanted to, but you kept telling me no, holding on.  I don’t want to hurt you, Josh…”

“So don’t.  Choose me.”

“To hurt Justin… I can’t do that, either.”

“One of us has to be hurt, Jenny.  We both can’t have what we want with you.  That’s illegal in all 50 states, even in Utah.”

“Pretty sure it’s illegal in Utah if it’s men or women, despite the cultural assumptions there.  Josh, I…”

“Let me make love to you.  If he can’t handle watching, I understand.  I wanted to beat him to a pulp, pull him off of you at certain points.  We’re men with a similar passion, you.  If this is the last time we see each other like this, let me give you everything.  A last time that feels like a first time.”

“What if I choose you?” she asked.

“Then it’s the first time of a new relationship, where we can be together without hiding it.  That decision is yours to make, what you want, WHO you want.  For now, let me make love to you, Genevieve.  Either the last time, or the first time.”

Justin stood cautiously in the doorway, afraid to look at Jenny.  

“If you can’t watch, I understand.  I’m sorry to put either of you through this.  I had every intention of things between me and Josh being over…”

“I know,” Justin sighed.  “But with what you learned tonight, you need to explore it.  Like when I was with Marie, then I met you.  Things were fine, I wasn’t interested in anyone else, but then you came along and just… changed everything.  Tonight changed everything for you with him, I get that.  I don’t like it, but I understand.  I can’t watch, feeling like I’m losing you with every move he makes.  I’m not going to leave until you decide, but I can’t watch this, not knowing if this is goodbye to him or for me.”

“No matter what, I love you, Justin.  Please know that.”

“It’s easy to hear you say that while we’re still together.  But if this is the end…”

“I honestly haven’t decided yet.  I’m sorry, to both of you.  This isn't fair.  I don’t deserve either of you.”

“Don’t walk away from both of us,” JC pleaded softly.  “At least make one of us happy.”

“But which one?” she asked, her eyes searching somewhere for an answer.

“I’ll be on the couch.  I’ll keep the door open, but try not to be too loud.  I mean, I wanna know when it’s all finished, but I also don’t want to hear you enjoy it.”

Jenny’s heart just about broke as she watched Justin walk away, not knowing if she wanted to end things with him, but needing to explore the possibility of JC.

“Are you ok?” JC asked, his thumb grazing her cheek.

“No,” she answered honestly.  “I didn't plan on any of this happening tonight.  I meant to see you one last time, let that be it, walk away from you for good.  But now… I don’t know.”

“You’re ok if we keep going?”

“I kinda have to be, I don’t want to draw this out longer than I have to.”

“Not exactly a mood setter, but I understand.  You were starting to get into things before he rushed out.  Let’s work our way back to that.”

He softly kissed her lips, trying to reassure her of his feelings for her, his wanting to be with her.  

She eased back into things, kissing him deeply.  His hands moved to her breasts, gently kneading them, slowly pulling on her hardened nubs, a groan pulling from his throat. 

“You want the usual, don’t you?” she asked. 

“Yes, but I want to show you I’m capable of this, wanting those romantic moments with you. That’s why I was hoping you’d come without him tonight, I could tell you I love you, give you a romantic night. This isn’t a romantic moment, but I’m trying my best to give you what you deserve.”

“Keep going, Josh. I want to know what making love with you is like.”

“It’s been a while, so be patient.”

“I can do that,” she smiled. 

He fought his instincts, trying to draw out his normal go to moves. He rolled her nipples between his fingers, playing with them lazily, making her squirm and writhe beneath him. “Now who’s wanting the usual?” JC chuckled. 

“Keep going, it feels so good,” she said quietly. 

“Don’t be quiet because of him,” JC said.

“I’m not. I’ll be loud if it warrants it, but if it’s gonna be making love, I don’t think I will, as good as it might be.”

He kissed down her neck, sucking lightly on the hollow of her neck.  He gently kissed down her chest, grazing her nubs with his teeth, slowly running his tongue over her peaks, lightly sucking on her. 

“Oh god, Josh…”

His hands massaged her thighs, slowly moving upward and inward.  Jenny rolled her hips wanting him desperately to touch her, JC almost playing hard to get. 

“Touch me, Josh… don’t tease me.”

“I’m not teasing, I’m making things last longer.”

“I need you to touch me.”

“Like this?” he asked in a whisper, his fingers barely touching her aching button. Jenny groaned at the light but intense sensation, like he was pressing firmly but somehow almost not at all.  He circled her in slow, lazy circles, wanting to draw out everything, be romantic but intense.  If this was to be his last time with her, he wanted it to be memorable.

He felt her first wave hit, her body rolling like a wave.  He pressed a little firmer, her groans intensifying. He circled her with his thumb, his middle finger slowly sliding into her heat.  He slowly moved his finger in and out of her, stroking that perfect spot in a slow rhythm.

“Josh, god… yes.  YES…”

“Cum for me, mama.”

“Then I get the real deal?”

He nodded and hummed in agreement, continuing until she released with a low groan. He got off the bed, took off his clothes, and joined her on the bed. He settled between her legs, kissing her softly, deeply as he slowly rolled his hips to enter her.  They both groaned, it had been too long since they had been connected like this, and never so slowly, truly intimately.

He rolled his hips, in no rush to finish, kissing her lips and neck, his fingers interlacing with hers above their heads.  It felt like an eternity compared to their usual; but she felt so cared for, safe in his arms.

“Jenny, I love you.”

“I…”

“Don’t say it back, I just needed you to know, hear it one more time before this is over.  Let go for me.  I don’t want it to end, but I’m so close…”

“Kiss me, Josh…”

He kissed her, their release simultaneous but bittersweet. JC wished he hadn’t worn a condom, hoping to still have some connection with her body. It almost felt like she was a stranger, not the woman he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

They got dressed, Jenny looking at Justin on the couch watching TV.  She stood in front of the TV, getting his attention.  JC sat on the opposite side of the couch.

The two young men looked up at her, faces uncertain of whether to be happy or that their world would come crashing down any second. She looked at both of them, thoughts running through her head. Memories of how she’d met both of them, remembering her first time with each of them. She thought of the two similar yet different futures that awaited her.

It was time to decide. Her heart ached as she made her choice, knowing the hurt it would cause. Both had loved her deeply in their own way. But there could only be one to move forward with.

She took a deep sigh, looking at both of them, tears forming in her eyes.  She opened her mouth, ready to seal their fates.

“I choose…”