* 3 Months Later *

JC's new album was released last month and it was getting rave reviews. Our lives had already changed immensely. Paparazzi was everywhere that we went now. Our once somewhat private relationship was now weekly tabloid news. I even had some of my patients at the hospital asking "Aren't you JC Chasez's girlfriend?" It was an adjustment now being the girlfriend of an active popstar. 

To add to that, JC's tour was beginning tomorrow! I was a ball of nerves as I sat on our bed watching him pack things into his suitcase. I had convinced myself for months that I could handle this. We had planned for me to come out on some tour stops when I was not working, and JC would come home to LA when he had several days off at a time. We vowed to make it work. We knew it was just a temporary situation and then we could get back to our usual routine, right? I hoped so.

"You're being unusually quiet right now. Are you sure you're okay?" JC asked as he continued to fold his t-shirts and put them into his suitcase.

"I'm okay. It's just kind of hitting me that you're going to be gone for a while."

"So, come with me." He said nonchalantly, as if it was that easy to just pack up and leave town. Helloooo, I had a job.

"You know I can't do that, Jace." I sighed. I was not going to follow him around like a lost puppy. I didn't want to be a distraction while he was on tour. This was his job and he was finally back to doing what he loved. I didn't want to mess that up.

"Okay, okay." He said putting his hands up, as if he was finally surrendering. "I won't push it anymore."

I sighed and fell back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I heard JC zipping up his suitcase and then a second later, felt the bed shift as he laid down on his side facing me.

"I won't push it anymore... BUT, baby, please know that if at any moment you want to quit playing tough guy and come join me, I will have you on the first flight I can find out of LA." He cupped my cheek with his hand and made me turn to face him.

"I know you will." I said, taking his hand and kissing it.

"So, tomorrow my manager, Eric, is picking me up from here to catch our fight at 6AM to Orlando. I have a show there the next night. After that, I'll hop on the tour bus and will  be doing shows all over. I'll have Eric e-mail you the schedule, babe." JC explained.

"Okay. You know, as much as I am sad, I am also still very happy and excited for you. It's a weird emotion." I bit my bottom lip, hoping to keep from crying. Stay strong, Layla. He needs you to be strong.

"You don't have to be strong for me." JC said, as if he read my mind. He pulled my body close to his and wrapped his arms around me tightly and the remaining wall I had up suddenly came crashing down, as I let the tears fall.

"It's going to be okay, Layla. I promise. You and I will be fine." JC shushed me, rubbing my back soothingly.

I pulled away some to look at him. He wiped my tears with his thumb and kissed me sweetly.

"Are you sure?" I asked, searching his eyes for reassurance.

"I've never been so sure of something in my life." He said with conviction. He kissed me again as he moved his body over mine.

That night he loved me so deeply and for that moment, I knew I had nothing to worry about. I just hoped it stayed that way.

--

"Layla. Baby, wake up."

I stretched, opening one eye to see what was going on. It was still dark in our room, but I could make out JC's figure standing at my side of the bed.

"It's time for me to leave. Eric just pulled up." JC said quietly.

I sat up and pulled the blanket around me, realizing I fell asleep naked after our "goodbye sex" the night before. I felt JC's hands cup my face as my eyes tried to focus in the darkness. I felt his warm breath before he leaned in to kiss me deeply.  I returned the kiss and reached up to place my arms around his neck, letting the blanket fall.

"Do you have to leave?" I whispered, sadly. This was really happening. He was really leaving me all alone in this big house. In this big city.

"Yes, unfortunately I have to. Don't be sad, please. I'll call you as soon as I get to Orlando. I'm going to be counting down the days until you come see me." He said still holding my face, rubbing his thumbs softly down my cheeks.

I nodded and leaned my face into his hand, wanting to savor the feeling of him touching me.

"You know I love you, right?" His other hand moved down my face, then down the center of my chest, leaving goosebumps on my skin. It was crazy how quickly my body reacted to his touch.

"I know, Jace. I love you, more."

"Mmm. I don't think so, honey." He said placing soft kisses down my neck while his hand continued its journey south. As good as it felt, I knew this was going to be sweet torture because he was about to leave. His hand found its destination as flicked my sensitive core, then inserted a finger inside of me, then another. I moaned softly as he worked his magic between my legs.

"Jace... You have to go." I muttered, but made no attempt to stop him.

I felt the absence of his hand  a few seconds later as he pulled it away. Though it was dark, I could see him clearly put his hand to his mouth and suck both fingers, then he leaned into to kiss me. Oh, this was definitely sweet torture. This man knows how to get me going.

He kissed me fully on my lips and finally stood straight up from the hovering position he was just in.

"I just had to taste you before I left. Make sure I don't forget." He said and I just knew he had a smirk on his face.

"You're so bad." I groaned. He laughed as I heard him move toward the bedroom door.

"See you soon, mama. I love you." And then he was gone.

--

“What crawled up your ass?” Bianca asked the next day at work. JC had been gone a whole day and I was trying to remain upbeat. He called me when he got to Orlando the day before and then once more before I went to bed. I hadn’t talked to him at all today and it was killing me.

“Nothing. Why?” I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“Girl, I know you. You’ve been in a shitty mood all morning, barely talking to anyone.”

Bianca knew JC was going on tour, but didn’t know when exactly. “Jace left yesterday for Orlando. His tour kicks off tonight.” I informed her.

"Oh, really? That's.... great, but why aren't you with him?"

"I have a job." I said annoyingly, pointing at the stethoscope around my neck.

"Yeah, I get that, but your boyfriend is JC Chasez and he's touring all around the U.S. right now and you don't want to tag along? You're crazy." She shook her head at me in disbelief.

"I do, but what am I supposed to do? Quit my job?"

"Umm.. yeah?" She laughed.

"I can't depend on someone else to take care of me. We're not married. I just live with him. What happens if he decides to just dump me for some supermodel chick or even a fan?" I blurted out, finally realizing the real reasons I didn't go on tour with JC. I was afraid of giving up my independence. I was afraid of JC dumping me on my ass and then I would be left with nothing.

Bianca stared at me, squinting her eyes curiously. "You really think he would do that?"

I thought briefly before answering. Did I really think JC was capable of this? Or was I just being paranoid and insecure?

"I don't know. I guess its just my own issues." I admitted.

"JC isn't Austin. Don't make him pay for Austin's mistakes, please. You're going to push him away."

I knew that deep down, but hearing it out loud from my best friend struck a nerve. Suddenly, I didn't want to have this conversation. "Whatever, Bianca. I have work to do that doesn’t involve you butting into my relationship.” I got up from my chair at the nurse's station and headed towards my patient's room.

--

By the time I made it home from work that evening, it was well after 8PM and I knew JC was already on stage. It sucked that I didn't get to talk with him before he went on stage. I busied myself around the house, making myself dinner and taking a nice long shower to unwind from my stressful day.

By the time I crawled into bed, it was 11:30PM and still no call from JC. I decided to call him myself as I felt myself getting really tired. He answered on the second ring.

"Hey, honey. I was just thinking about you." He answered, excitedly.

"Hey. I was waiting for you to call. How was your first show?"

"It was amazing. It felt like I was right where I'm supposed to be. I wish you could've been there."

"I know." I sighed, loudly. "According to everyone, I'm a horrible girlfriend for not being there."

"Wait.. what? What are you talking about, Layla?" JC asked, his tone changing quickly.

"Bianca basically said that to me at work today. Everyone is beating me up for it, and I'm just tired of hearing about it."

"Honey, I told you I support whatever you want to do. Don't worry about everyone else's opinions. Okay?"

"Ok, Jace. Look, I'm tired. It was a long, exhausting day at work. Call me in the morning." I said, not wanting to cause any arguments or ruin his good mood.

"Okay.... Um, I love you. Sleep well."

"Love you too." I ended the call, tossing my phone on the other side of the bed. I rolled over and closed my eyes, trying to force myself to sleep. I just wanted this day to end.