Justin opened the door to the SUV, Joshy hopping in to buckle himself in.  Trace hopped into the front passenger seat as Justin got into the driver’s seat.  “Passenger picks the music,” Trace chimed triumphantly.  He connected his phone to Bluetooth and turned on a playlist.  “Sweet Home Alabama” began to play, Trace pretending to play the guitar.  “Gotta teach him the classics, J.  Got some CCR on here, too.  I play it for the girls, so don’t worry about if it’s kid friendly.”

“You think I haven't taught my son the greats?” Justin laughed.  “Joshy, what song is this?”

“Sweet Home Awabama!” Joshy shouted, his 4 year old voice making it sound cute, Justin smiling wider.  “Daddy, where are we going?”

“We’re gonna play some games, have some pizza, they even have rides.  It’s really cool, Sophia loves it,” Trace said.  “It’s fairly new, within the last couple years.  It’s been a while since you were last here, and the kids were too little then.”

“Crazy how they become our whole world, huh?  We easily could have gone by ourselves, but we chose to be with family instead.”

“You know why, though.  With everything going on…” Trace said.

Justin sighed.  “Yeah.  I know that’s been difficult.  I feel like we should be here more, but at the same time my head goes to this weird place when I’m here.  I don’t want things to change, not when I’m here.  This is my one place to really… escape.”

“You two taking that trip I suggested?”

“Yeah, we’re going next week actually.  I’m sure it’s great and we’ll love it, but this is HOME, Trace.  Always has been, but it’s getting so complicated.”

“Hopefully it becomes your true escape from the world, but that you still come back home every now and then.  I feel like we go to see you more than the other way around.”

“I told you, it’s…”

“I know.  I get it, I’d probably be the same way if it were me.  You should be here, good or bad.”

Justin sighed.  “I know.  It just hurts a little more every time I’m here.  Changes are slow, but I know that won’t always be the case.”

“Let’s focus on having some fun today, just us guys,” Trace smiled, looking back at Joshy.  “You ready to have fun?”

“I’m ready!” Joshy cheered, Justin driving down the road.

…

“Wow, you look like a princess, Barb!” Sophia gasped, running to hug her friend.  River held Samantha’s hand, walking up slower.

“Nana bought it for me, I love it!” Barb said as she gave the obligatory twirl, watching it poof up in all its glory.  

“You look lovely,” Samantha smiled at Mikayla.  “Always feminine and poised.”

“As much as you can when you’re pregnant,” Mikayla smiled back.  “I wasn’t sure what to expect, I don’t do this very often…  Happy hours were more my thing, brunch…”

“You’ll love it,” Lynn said, ushering them into the restaurant.  They were seated, looking over the menu, mostly for what tea they each wanted.  The girls had the children’s tea plate, with small sandwiches cut into fun shapes, along with mac and cheese and a little treat, opting for lemonade instead of tea.

“Did you have anyone doubt that Sophia was ready for more in preschool?  We’re moving the twins up to TK, instead of doing Pre K that’s less structured.  One mom was fairly adamant that they should stay in preschool, even though we decided they are doing well enough academically that they could keep up with it all.”

“Honey, you have to let it roll off your back.  Do you know how many times I heard that Justin was talented and all of that, but he’d never make it beyond our little area?  He wouldn’t be where he is today if I’d listened to those voices and didn’t let him try.  It was all his choice, every step of the way.  If the twins don’t feel it’s a good fit, they’ll tell you.  Won’t you, angel?” Lynn smiled at Barb.

“We won’t be with Ms. Maribel anymore?” Barb's lip began to quiver.

“You’ll be at the same school, but no, she won’t be your teacher.  You’ll be getting ready for kindergarten, you’ll have your own desk, you go on field trips, and you don’t have to nap or stay quiet on a mat for two hours anymore.  You get extra recess time and things instead.”

“Extra recess?  No nap?” Barb gaped.

“Is that all you got from that?” Mikayla chuckled.  “You know all the teachers, you guys all play together at the end of the day, so I’m not worried that you won’t like your teacher.”

“What’s a field trip?”

“The class goes somewhere, like the pumpkin patch around halloween, the library to learn about books, the planetarium during Space Week…”

“Wow.  And it’s with all the kids ion the class, not just you, me, Joshy, and Daddy?  Cuz we’ve been to those places before…”

“Yup, you get on a bus and go with your friends.”

“I think she’s sold,” Samantha laughed. “Sophia can’t wait for summer to be over so she can go to kindergarten. Girls, stay little as long as you can. Be kids, don’t rush to grow up.”

The girls rolled their eyes, already acting like teenagers rather than young children.

…

“Daddy, this is so much fun!” Joshy squealed as Justin turned a corner in their go-kart.  Justin was right in front of Trace, doing his best to block any path around him.  They whizzed around the course, Joshy safely buckled in, and the go-karts didn’t go all that fast, but to Joshy it was a thrill.

Justin crossed the finish line, he and Joshy raising their arms triumphantly and cheering.

“Started everything off with a race and beating Uncle Trace, the rest is just the cherry on top,” Justin smiled.  They ordered a pizza, bbq chicken wings, and chile cheese fries to share, Trace sitting at their table so Justin and Joshy could play games while they waited.  Justin found some older arcade games he played back in the day, teaching Joshy how to play, along with discovering new games together.

“This is what it was like when I was on tour with your Uncles,” Justin told Joshy.  “This was our downtime, playing video games, hanging out.  Now I get to do it all with you.”

“What was your favorite with Daddy?”

Justin looked around.  “Over here. Kinda like earlier.  You’re too small to play just yet, but I’m ready once you’re big enough.”  Justin walked him over to a racing game, the pedals out of Joshy’s reach if he sat by himself.  He sat in the seat, pulling Joshy onto his lap.  “We don’t need seatbelts for this one.  You ready?”

Joshy nodded eagerly as Justin started the game. They picked their car and race track and began against the computer on player 2.  Joshy got excited seeing Justin shift gears and how fast he was going, faster than on the go-karts, seeing the numbers get bigger and bigger. One number that kept getting smaller was what place Justin was in, quickly settling into first.  Since it was him against a computer, it wasn’t quite as fun as against another human player; but Joshy was enjoying it, and that was what mattered.  

They went back to the table when Justin got a text from Trace that the food was ready, getting a large pitcher of root beer to share.  Joshy’s eyes went wide.  “I get to have soda?!”

“He doesn’t get soda?” Trace asked, surprised.

“Only for special occasions, which I think this counts as such.  It’ll be our little secret, ok?” Justin said with a wink.

“A secret?”

“Yeah, we don’t tell Mommy you had soda, just that we had lots of fun.  As it is, I don’t know that you’ll have much anyway.”  Justin poured Joshy a small bit of root beer into the paper cup.  Joshy took the cup to his lips, taking a sip.  He scrunched his face, trying to decide if he liked it or not.

“It tastes funny,” he decided, pushing the cup away.

Justin walked to the soda fountain, looking at the options. He got some lemonade, cutting it with a little water like Mikayla would, though not using a much water as she would.  He put the cup down in front of Joshy. 

He took a sip, his body relaxing. “Better. Thank you, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome, bud. Drink that, your next cup will be fruit punch, and then a little 7up. Mommy’s given that to you when you were sick, so I think you should be fine.”

“I like how the bubbles tickle my nose,” Joshy giggled, “but that stuff tasted funny.”

“It’s ok, we’re making it work.  Let’s eat and keep having fun, ok?  Thank you for letting me know you didn't like something.  Make sure you tell JC that next week, ok?  If he has orange juice, tell him you like apple juice better.”

“Who doesn’t like orange juice?” Trace laughed.

“I don’t like the stuff floating in it,” Joshy said, scrunching his face at the thought.  “It’s too sour.”

“I know my boy,” Justin smiled.  “Help JC learn those kinds of things about you.  I guess I’m worried about you and Barb being there alone with him next week.  Barb had her meltdown and we were at least still in LA, but to be in a whole other state if something happens…”

“You sound like Mommy,” Joshy said.

“I suppose I do. I just love you guys so much…”  He looked at Joshy.  “Finish that slice of pizza and then go play for a bit.”

Joshy finished his food, Justin and Trace keeping an eye on Joshy while also giving him some freedom to play what he wanted.  He had a card with money on it for games, finding a water race game like the one he’d seen Mikayla play at the pier on Father’s Day.

“Hey, what was up with that just now?” Trace asked.

“As much as I want them to love JC, he’s their dad, I feel like maybe I’m just in the way.  They should be together.”

“Ummm, she’s having your baby.  What about that?”

“We make it work, custody wise.  I dunno.”

“Does Mikayla know you feel this way?”

“Not to this extent, no.”

“You really want to divorce her?”

“No, but I feel like they won't need me, knowing he’s around.”

“He might be their biological dad, but you will always be their dad, too.  Talk to your dad, I’m sure he felt like this once your mom found Paul.  You were with them more, I’m sure that hurt him.”

“I still see him, talk to him.”

“Exactly.  Those kids, YOUR kids, will see how much you love them, and they won’t stop loving you as much as they do now just because JC is back in the picture.  Mikayla is still having your baby, you really think she wants to leave that behind to be with him?”

“I just don’t know how long we can make this work…”

“You make it sound like she’s banging him.”

Justin was silent.

“Seriously?  That’s what’s going on?”

Justin nodded.  “It’s actually been working out so far, but it’s getting harder to deal with.  The news leaked that JC is their dad, they just happened to guess correctly on the other.”

“So have you guys had a…”

“Twice,” Justin answered quickly.  “I said it would never happen, and yet, here we are.”

“You told your mom…”

“What she needed to hear. It’s no one else’s business.”

“When did this all start?”

“I’m not getting into this with you, Trace.  It’s been working, but at the same time, we both feel like we’re getting the short end of the stick.  I’m having to share my wife, he feels like the odd man out in the family.  I get it, but at the same time, we’re having a kid of our own.  I don’t know how she can balance this back and forth between us for much longer.  I told her I’d step back if this ever happened, that she could leave…”

“What did she say?”

“We’re having Silas, she wants to stay together.  But she also wants him, he’s the twins’ dad. I get it, when it’s not us, but because it is…”

“You wanna be selfish, but you also know how he feels.”

“Yeah.  Neither of us want to lose her.  He’s already done that once, and is willing to do anything to rectify that.  I did all of this to save her from being alone, offering her my affections, and now I feel like it was all a waste.”

“You’re having Silas, you’ve raised two great kids together.”

“I can’t help but wonder if she’d have been happier, better off if I’d never offered being with me.  They might have gotten back together.”

“Could you see yourself with anyone else, then or now?”

“No.  It’s always been her. As much as I thought I loved Jess, it was always her.”

“You really wanna give that all up?”

“No.  I just don’t know that I can keep going like this, forever.”

“Yeah, you have to share her, but you get the best parts, the things he missed out on.  You’d really back off so he can have that with her and you end up with nothing?”

“I dunno, man.  I love her so much, but she and JC…”

“Have a history, sure.  She’s your wife, he’s one of your best friends, excluding me.  You’re really going to be more loyal to JC than to your wife in all of this?”

“Is that how you see this?  I hadn’t thought of it exactly like that.”

“That’s exactly what it is.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for things being amicable between y’all, but if I had the choice between keeping my wife or my best friend, you’d be gone if that’s what it came down to.”

“This is not a normal situation.  There’s kids involved. It’s not my choice on whether he’s around, that’s not fair to her or the twins.  I don’t want her to resent me because I’m making her choose.”

“But you're resenting her for the choices she’s made.”

“It’s a consensus, we all agree this is what’s best for everyone.”

“Talk it over with her, that’s the only opinion that really matters in all of this. You do what you need to do. Come on, let’s get your mind off of this for a while…”