There was a knock at the door to her hospital room, stirring both Mikayla and JC from their rest.

“So you will get to go home, but our tests found a protein in your urine that indicates you have preeclampsia.”

“My blood pressure was fine…” Mikayla gasped. 

“The protein can be an early indicator. If it’s not caught earlier, it can lead to other health issues during pregnancy.”

“Does this mean anything for Silas?” JC asked. 

“If she can keep her blood pressure stable, no. If it gets too high and doesn’t come down with Advil or Tylenol, we would need to induce early for the health of Mikayla and Silas.  For now, consider this a modified bed rest. We’ll see you twice a week for checkups, make sure that everything is ok. Relaxing as much as possible will help keep blood pressure down, and can help with pain from false labor and the round ligament pain.”

“But I get to go home today?” Mikayla asked hopefully.

“Yes. We’ll finish your discharge instructions and go over it all with you before you are free to leave.”

The doctor left the room, JC looking at MIkayla.  “Did you get some good sleep?  Looked like you were smiling.”

“I did yeah.  I had a nice dream.”

“About what?”

“I can’t tell you, it won’t come true,” she smiled.

“So it’s one you want to come true?”

“Very much, yes.  Someday, somehow.”  She knew the likelihood was small, she couldn’t legally be married to both of them.  She would never have that dream come true, but maybe she could get something close.  She wasn’t sure her family would even understand, that her dad would agree to walk her down the aisle to marry JC.  She didn't remember seeing the twins to know if they were babies or older.  Maybe it had just been a dream of what could have been.

Mikayla got dressed again, glad to not be in a hospital gown. She could have dinner at home, have a sense of normalcy after the disruption. Justin would be home soon, and as much as she loved JC, she missed Justin.  

They had agreed on JC having the twins at his house for the weekend so she could have some extra time with Justin. It felt like things were getting better and easier between them on having a good back and forth, the twins happy to have more time with JC. 

JC drove them back to the house, a wave or relief washing over Mikayla as they got closer.  It had only been a few hours, but the possibility of staying overnight, or Silas being born 7 weeks early had made the day feel like an eternity.

“Mommy!” the twins shouted, running towards her as they walked in the door.

“I told you, be gentle around Mommy,” Jackie reminded them.  “We need to be careful around Mommy now, ok?”

“What happened, Mommy?” Barb asked.

“I’m ok.  I just have some pain that sometimes comes with having a baby.  I didn't have it with you two, so I was worried and scared.  Now my doctor says I need to relax more so Silas doesn’t have to be born early.”

“When is he due?” JC asked.

“October 15, so just under two months.  This will give me time to finish the nursery though.  I mean, I’d been staying home anyway, might as well put it to good use…”

“Let us know if you need anything, though.  Don’t overdo it,” JC said softly, his voice full of concern.  “I can start using the studio here for my stuff, I’ve been doing it since I got here last week.”

“We’ll see.  Between Justin and Jackie, I think I’m set. I just don't want anything to draw more attention to this. Though I feel like the damage has been done.  Thank you for the offer, and I’ll definitely let you know if you need to come over.  You just live so far…”

“Yeah, well,” JC sighed.  “Have they had dinner?” he asked Jackie.

“Just finished.  There’s plenty for you two.  Take it easy, I’m sure today was a lot.  I’ll handle the kids, get them ready for bed.  I know Justin will be calling soon for bedtime, so I’ll let you guys handle that part.  I got this.”

Mikayla smiled, knowing they truly had surrounded themselves with good people.  Jackie was technically part time and on an as needed basis, but had still made herself fully available.  Maybe it was the pregnancy, knowing she’d be needed more again soon, Mikayla was surprised Jackie hadn’t taken on another client and moved on.  She was thankful for Jackie's loyalty and friendship.  She was also thankful for JC and his concern for her, no matter the circumstance.  

They sat down to eat, Mikayla glad for a home cooked meal and not hospital food.  She hadn’t been there long enough to get any food, so she was starving by the time they finally got to eat. She felt like she had been taking things for granted somehow.  She had a loving home she shared with her husband, had a great husband, wonderful kids, JC added in as a partner in romance  and raising their kids, had great home cooked meals by Jackie, herself, or Justin, the list continued.

“You’re thinking,” JC smiled.

“Just counting my blessings,” she said softly.  JC took her hand, squeezing it gently.

Mikayla’s phone buzzed, Justin calling early.  “Hi,” she said, smiling at seeing his face.

“Hi,” he smiled back. “C told me what happened today.  You feeling ok?  Do I need to come home early?”

“I’m fine, we’re home, obviously.  Just gotta take it easy.”

"Hear that, C?  We gotta spoil her more.”

Mikayla laughed. “I don’t think that’s possible.”

“I think Jackie just got bumped back up to full time,” JC said.  “You’ll need someone to take the kids to school, you need rides to and from doctor visits.  She said you shouldn’t drive anymore.”

“I’m pregnant with preeclampsia, and suddenly I’m an invalid?”

“You’re carrying precious cargo and can’t take the risk of getting into an accident,” Justin answered.

“So I’m stuck in the backseat in the middle with bubble wrap padding?  Sounds like the safest place to me,” Mikayla joked.

“Not a bad idea.  We’ll redo your car then.  Good thing it has that third row, the twins can sit there while you get the middle to yourself,” Justin chuckled.

“Now that you mention it, we need to figure out the configuration for once Silas comes, car seat and all that…”

“Hey, let us take care of that,” Justin sighed.  “I’m sure your brain is going a mile a minute on what needs to be done before he comes…”

“Especially since my body is basically a ticking time bomb as far as my blood pressure is concerned, that he could come whenever my body is like ‘nope, you gotta get him outta here.’  I hate this already.”

“I’ll be home on Wednesday night. That won’t throw a wrench into your usual Wednesday plans, will it?”

“No, I’ll make sure of that,” JC said. Mikayla was curious what he meant by that, but wasn’t about to ask during the call.  

“I just wanted to check in, I’ll call back in a bit for bedtime.  Love you.”

“Love you,” Mikayla said, ending the call. She looked at JC.  “What was that comment about Wednesday for?”

“After what happened today, I’m afraid to do anything.”

“Josh, it’s fine. Without going into detail, I’ve had plenty of times like that during both pregnancies. This wasn’t the first time we’ve been like that, at least in the intensity. What happened today has nothing to do with what we did right before that.”

“You’re sure?  I feel bad.”

“I’m sure. I checked with my doctor, they even have a section in my discharge paperwork that says it’s ok.”

“Still, I’m not taking any chances…”

“Josh, it’s fine.”

“Ok, if you say so. Maybe we just go slow for a while.”

“That works. I’m gonna have my work cut out for me after Silas is born, those first few months…”

JC cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“No sex for about 8 weeks, and two men to try and satisfy…”

“You’ll have a newborn. I waited 5 years for you, Kay, I can handle a couple months.”

“So can I, if you catch my drift,” she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows.  “Plenty I can do without the final part.”

“Does that go both ways?” he wondered.

“Yes. Feels like going back to the beginning of a relationship, and in a way I suppose it is. Learning things over again. It was weird after the twins. I still had my pregnancy weight, for the most part, a lot of insecurity, especially because they were twins, so I felt huge.  I dunno, I definitely wanted it, but also felt like I wasn’t enough at that point. I’d drive this incredible thing, birthing two tiny humans, but that my body wasn’t mine anymore. I got over it eventually, but it took a  while to feel comfortable and sexy, not just a vessel for Justin to use.”

“How long before you could-“

“Oh, that wasn’t the problem. I didn’t feel like I was desirable, or at least worthy of being desired.  I remember apologizing to you about my body one time once we reconnected.”

“And I had no idea what you were talking about.  So you were able to enjoy it, you just didn’t feel like you should have?”

“I guess, yeah.  Up until we could go all the way, I felt like it was a chore, doing it because I knew he wanted it even if it wasn’t going to lead anywhere. Sometimes I enjoyed it, but it was hit or miss. I didn’t want to let him down.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have seen it that way.  I wouldn’t see it that way.  If you’re with me and the twins, or even just by yourself, know that I won’t expect that from you.  Would I like it?  Sure.  But I never expect it to happen, not really.  If you aren’t feeling it, you aren’t feeling it.  That doesn’t mean you should do something else just to ‘make me happy’.  Pretty sure Justin feels the same way.  It’s better when it’s mutual, both people wanting it.  I feel like that’s why it’s always so hot, because it’s mutual.”

“Does this kinda help your thinking about things moving forward, like tonight or tomorrow?”

“Are you really saying you want something tonight?” he laughed.

“Only if you do.”

“I always want it, this is all up to you, mama.  If you want it, then you got it.”

“We’ll see, but right now, something slow sounds incredible.”