Justin practically jumped out of the tub, scrambling across the bathroom to throw his clothes on and get her hospital bag.  JC stayed in the tub, slowly helping Mikayla up and out.

“Why do I feel like I should be freaking out, too?” JC asked. 

“Cuz you’ve never gone through this. You’d think Justin hasn’t either, but here we are.”

“I’ll call Jackie, Silas is 2 weeks early. I know she was gonna move back in next week, but…”

“Come in the way we did last time, with or without the twins. I’m not sure they’ll be able to come before they’re so young, but just in case.  I love you, Josh.”

“I love you, too.  I’m sorry I missed this with the twins, I wish I could go with you.  Unless the twins are allowed to visit, I’ll stay here, help hold down the fort.  Maybe stay here until you come home, let them meet their brother, then take them to my house for a week?”

“Ok,” Mikayla sighed. “I know it’ll be fine, but I can’t help but be nervous.”

“You’ll do great.  Were there any issues with the twins? I feel like I should know, I should’ve been there…”

“Everything went fine. If anything, that should’ve been the time to tell you, so you could’ve been there…”

“We could do this all day,” JC sighed. “Let’s get you dressed so you can go have a baby.  You’ll do great, I just know it.”  He helped get her dressed as Justin ran around getting everything else ready to go. 

“I’m sorry, this wasn’t how I imagined this going,” Mikayla said.

“What?”

“We didn’t even get to finish…”

“I’m sure Justin will be on this with me, it’s fine. Honestly, I’m glad I got to be here for this part, feeling like I’m part of this somehow.  I know I can't be with you in the hospital, but I’m here now…”

“You ready, Kay?” Justin asked, peeking into the doorway.  “Everything is loaded in the car, we’ll move car seats and things around later.  Just need you.”

“I’m ready,” she sighed, still a little hesitant somehow. She hugged JC, JC giving her a kiss on the cheek and a final squeeze of her hand. 

“You’ve got this. Everything will be fine.  I’ll tell the kids in the morning, they’ll be so excited.  I love you.”

“Love you too,” she said, walking with Justin out the door and down the hallway.

JC grabbed his phone, calling Jackie. “Hey JC, what’s going on?”

“You start a couple days early. We think Mikayla’s in labor, her blood pressure is also super high.  Either way, Silas is probably coming this weekend.”

“You want me to come over now? Or I can come in the morning…”

“I know it’s late, but if you wanna come over now, be here when the kids wake up and all that…”

“Ok, I’ll be right over.”

…

“The good news is that Silas is coming on his own.  You’re in early labor, and your water did break.  The bad news is that if we can’t control your blood pressure, we might need to do an emergency c section. Your blood pressure upon arrival was high enough for us to worry.  You’re hooked to a cuff, it’ll take readings every so often and alert us if it jumps too high. Odds are we would see other signs on the other monitors as well. We’re really hoping we can control this and follow your birth plan  as closely as possible,” her doctor said. 

“Are you feeling ok?” Justin asked Mikayla.

“Physically, kinda.  The headache is still there, though not as bad as earlier.  Emotionally I’m a wreck.  What if something goes wrong this time?  Twins normally come early, but with Silas…”

“As much as I’ve worried this whole time, I have a good feeling about things now.  He’ll be here soon, and everything will be fine.  We’ll have our son, and he’ll be perfect.”  He sat on the edge of the hospital bed, being careful not to sit on any of the cords or things attached to both sides of her.  He pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.  “I’m here, and I won’t let anything happen to you, Kay.”

“There are some things you can’t protect me from, Justin.  There’s a lot that can go wrong in childbirth.  Even with doctors right here 24/7, something could happen out of their control…”

“Mikayla, you’re going to be fine.  There are plenty of things that could go wrong all the time, but they don’t.  You could have been hit by a car, my plane could have…”

“Let’s not put this out into the universe, Justin.  Whatever happens, know that I love you.”

“I love you too, Kay,” he said, hugging her close, not wanting to discuss the matter further.  “I can check if you can still have regular food and get you a snack.  Is that ok?”

“Yes please,” she sighed.  “Graham crackers and strawberry jello, or pudding…”

“Chocolate or vanilla?”

“Both,” she smiled.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Justin smiled back, kissing her forehead as he got up.

With Jiustin out of the room, Mikayla looked at the monitors.  It had been 5 years, but she knew what most of the things attached to her were for.  She had the blood pressure cuff, which kicked in to take another reading. There was a sensor taped to her belly to get Sila’s heart rate, the whooshing gentle against the beeps of her own heartbeat monitor.  She looked at the screen that said if she was having a contraction.  She noticed the waves were steadily getting closer together and a little stronger, beginning to feel them with regularity.

It had only been a couple hours, Mikayla starting to feel tired from the day.  She waited for Justin to come back, wondering what he would bring for her that she was allowed to eat.  She knew things could change very quickly, especially given that this was her second time through labor and delivery.

She saw the door open, Justin walking in with handfuls of snacks.  “I got you a little bit of everything.  Both puddings, graham crackers, and jello.  They want you drinking water for now, which I know you’re fine with.  You still feeling ok?”

“Yeah,” she answered, looking at the contraction monitor. “I’m starting to feel the contractions more, they’ve been getting stronger and closer together.  I know that’s what’s supposed to happen, but…”

“I’m back, I’ll be right here to call the nurses if anything happens.”

“After I eat the jello and graham crackers, I’m gonna try and sleep for a bit.  As long as someone cooperates,” she said, rubbing her stomach gently.  “Don’t feel you need to stay up all night, Justin.  If he’s not born until Sunday, you'll need to sleep at some point.”

“It’s just barely Saturday, 1AM, Kay.  I promise, I’ll get some sleep though.”

She ate her snack, enjoying the small things before everything really got underway.  She knew she’d likely wake up from a nurse checking on her or contractions starting to get more intense.  Getting sleep now was her best hope until after Silas was born.

She watched the monitors, more interested in them than what was on TV at that time of night.  Everything was fine, and the steady rhythms soon lulled her to sleep.

…

“Hey, thanks for coming over,” JC said, opening the door for Jackie.  “It feels weird to be here alone, even with the kids.”

“Any news yet?”

“No, they left not that long ago, I doubt we’ll hear much unless he takes a while or after he’s born.”

“They left long ago enough that you had a drink,” Jackie said, noting the mostly empty glass on the coffee table.

“Yeah,” JC sighed, sitting down on the couch.  “I messed up, Jackie.  All those years ago.  I should have been there when she was having the twins, now she’s having his baby…”

“This happened way before you came back into the picture, JC.  She was having Silas with or without you.”

“I know, but now that things are better between us, there’s so much guilt about what could have been.  Everything Justin did for her then, is doing for her now, it should have been me, should be me now.  I don’t know if I’d want more kids after the twins, if we’d stayed together, but I at least would’ve been there to watch my own kids be born.  I missed out on it then, I’m missing out on it now.  She’s had this whole other life without me, Jackie…  Even with me here, it’s like I don’t belong… Maybe getting married is a mistake.”

“Ok, what the what now?  How much did you have to drink?” Jackie laughed as she sat down next to him.

“Last month… She asked me to marry her.  Not legally, just symbolically, but it’ll be next summer.    I know she loves me, but with all of this… I don’t deserve it.  I don’t deserve any of this.  I shouldn’t get to see them.”

“Hang on, JC.  It’s been 5 months since this all started, it’s still new.  You deserve to know your kids.  I’m sorry things didn't work out that she’s with Justin, but she still loves you, apparently is marrying you…”

“I want more, Jackie.  Is that selfish?  Even if it is, I don’t care.  I loved her first, she has my kids, I want what we should have had.  I don’t deserve any of it, though.  As much as I want it, I don’t deserve it.”

“JC, you deserve every good thing you have right now…”  

JC turned to face her.  He leaned in, Jackie leaning in to hug him, hold him.  She was taken by surprise when his lips found hers.  She immediately pushed away.

“You didn’t mean to do that, did you?  You love Mikayla…”

“I can’t have her, not the way I want.”

“You don’t want this, JC.  I’ll talk with you as long as you need to about whatever you want, but this is a hard line.  You and Mikayla love each other, nothing will change that.  No more to drink, even if it was one glass.  You’re feeling a lot of things, and I’m sorry about any guilt and regret you’re feeling, but you lost her once.  Don’t do anything that would jeopardize that.”

“You’re not even a little curious?”

“I didn’t say that, but you’re the best friend and partner for my bosses, technically my boss as the dad of the twins.  It doesn’t matter what I want, it’s not going to happen.”

“If I wasn’t tied to the twins, they were hers and Justin’s, would this be different?”

“Are you really trying to get me to say I’d want you, JC?  I’m sure you still get plenty of women that would throw themselves at you.  In another world, maybe.  But it’s not happening.  Stop trying to push.”

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m in my feelings right now. I should be with her, I WANT to, but I can’t…”

“You may have missed them being born, but you have two great kids sleeping in this house right now, JC. Focus on that.  You may not be in that hospital room, but you’ll be their dad for the rest of their lives.”

They talked for a while, it feeling a lot like a therapy session.  They talked well into the morning before finally falling asleep.

…

Mikayla woke up, her eyes flashing immediately to the monitors.  She wasn’t sure how long it had been going on, whether it had been a while or just started, but the contraction was strong and lasting longer than when she went to sleep.  She looked at the clock, her jaw dropping.

 “I only slept an hour and a half?!”

Justin stirred next to her at her shout, blinking in surprise.  “You ok, babe?”

“Do I seem ok?”  She looked at the monitor.  “Justin, call the nurse…”

Justin immediately pushed the button, going into the doorway to try and flag someone down.

A nurse came into the room, eyeing Mikayla curiously.  “Yes?”

“Maybe it’s because it’s been 5 years, but are my contractions supposed to be this close and that strong?”

The nurse checked her, her eyes widening.  “So, you’re at 8 centimeters, it’s too late to get an epidural.  At this rate, Silas will be here in less than an hour, at least in you getting ready to push.”

“You’re sure I can’t get an epidural?  I know I said I didn't think I needed one last time, but I already had one at that point…”

“It’s too late, Mrs. Timberlake.  No matter who you are.”

“I didn't mean…” She was cut off mid thought by another contraction, feeling the full force of it now that she was awake.  She gripped the handrails, focusing on keeping her breathing steady.

“We’ll check back in 30 minutes.  If you feel the urge to push before that, press the call button and we’ll come running over.  I’ll alert the doctor.”

Mikayla hissed out a breath, trying to take deep breaths, nodding at the nurse.  Justin sat back down beside her bed, resting his hand over hers on the rail.

“Do you need anything?”

“Josh…”

“What?  He’s with the kids, they’ll be fine.”

“Call him.  I’m scared, Justin.  He missed this with the twins…”

“When should I call him?”

“Right before I go to push.  I’ll need both of you.  I can’t explain it, I wish I could.”

“I’m sorry you won’t be able to sleep more.”

“I’ll sleep after he’s born,” she managed to say before her next contraction, her face twisting as it coursed through her body.  Justin was glad his hand was on top of hers and not being squeezed, her knuckles turning white.

“Slow, deep breaths,” he encouraged. 

“Coming from the man in the room not trying to pass a watermelon without pain meds,” she replied, her teeth clenched. 

He went to pull his hand away, afraid she would hurt him, when she quickly grabbed his hand. “Justin, please… I need you.  I need something…”

He wanted to smile, but the force with which she was holding his hand as another contraction hit both ruined and added to the moment.

“Call him.  Call a nurse, I’m wanting to push…”

Justin frantically pushed the call button, grabbing his phone from his pocket.  He waited nervously as it rang and rang, JC not picking up. 

Come on, C.  Why aren’t you picking up? Even if you’re asleep, wake up…