Mikayla woke up early the next morning to feed Silas, the magic of Christmas morning in the air. It was 4am, and she was curious how long it would be before any of the kids woke up and tried to wake everyone else up. 

She heard footsteps, turning to see Justin walking into the kitchen of the main house. She was in the living room, realizing she’d failed in not waking one of them up. 

“Couldn’t get back to sleep once you got up. Guessing he’s almost back to sleep now?”

“Just about, yeah,” Mikayla replied quietly, looking down at Silas.  “I’ve already switched sides so this should be the end pretty soon. His eyelids are getting heavy, he’s fighting it a bit.”

“With a beautiful mom to look at, I can’t blame him,” Justin smiled. He started the coffee pot, walking over to stand behind her, gently rubbing her shoulders. 

“Yesterday was great.  So many memories with the kids.  Sad we haven’t used the hot tub yet. Last night would have been perfect, until I fell asleep. 

“Maybe later today or tonight. I know I’m feeling a bit stiff this morning.”

“I’m sure you are,” she chuckled. 

“Not like that.  Well, not that a hot tub would help that. That can wait until after the hot tub.”

“I’m really hoping no one else is awake to hear you right now.”

“You’re my wife, we have a baby. Pretty sure it’s clear that we know how they’re made by now.”

“It’s a family vacation, I didn’t exactly plan on anything happening…”

“Not like you need that anyway.  Merry Christmas, Kay.  Silas’s first Christmas, it’s gonna be great.”

“Well, this little guy is out. I can put him in the bassinet and we can have a little coffee.  You did go through the trouble of making it.”

“Santa has come and gone, so let’s relax a bit before any of the other kids wake up.”

“Yeah. Normally I’d say to go back to bed, get some sleep, but I’m sure they’ll be up sooner rather than later. They did go to sleep a bit earlier than usual.  Unless they just forgot today is Christmas…”

“Doubtful, we put cookies out for Santa before we watched the movie. I’m just glad they were ok with us putting the milk out before the grown ups went to bed.”

Mikayla put Silas in the bassinet next to the couch, Justin sitting down next to her with coffee for each of them. They talked about the day before, memories they made.  Sometimes they didn’t talk at all, just being in the moment with each other.  Their coffee finished, they fell asleep on the couch. 

Their sleep was short lived as the thunderous sound of children running downstairs woke them up. 

“Quiet, Silas is sleeping,” Mikayla yawned. 

“It’s Christmas, Mommy!” Joshy cheered with a whisper, bouncing up and down. 

“He may be Josh’s son, but I’ll be damned if he isn’t part you,” Mikayla said to Justin. 

“Ask his parents, I’m sure they’ll have stories,” Justin replied. “Have you NOT seen the video I know is floating around the internet of us during the European days?” he laughed. 

“Oh I have. I blame the pixy stix more than him being you like and Chris with ADHD.”

The adults slowly came out of their rooms into the living room, Justin going to wake up JC. Mikayla was somewhat curious how that went down, seeing Justin almost looking pained and JC looking annoyed as they walked in.

“Do I wanna know?” Mikayla asked. 

“Let’s just say nothing is funny to him first thing in the morning,” Justin groaned. 

“It wasn’t funny when it happened on accident, DEFINITELY not funny when you do it on purpose,” JC grumbled.

“Justin, you didn’t…” Mikayla gasped, trying not to laugh.

“Just a quick peck on the cheek, but man he can’t take a joke…”

“The ‘good morning, lover’ in my ear didn’t help.”

“Come on, before the kids can’t contain themselves and rip down their stockings,” Mikayla encouraged.  

Once all the adults were seated in the living room, they watched the kids open their stockings from Santa, getting pictures and videos of everything.  The twins got Paw Patrol toys, boxes of crayons, Wikki Stix, and personalized name puzzles, along with small things of candy.  Tyler’s girls got new hair brushes and hair accessories, stuffed puppies, and their own personalized name puzzles.  Miranda’s boys got new video games, a basketball net to go with a new hoop that was at their house for when they got home, and Pokemon cards.

The kids wanted to open the presents, too, but they were told not until after breakfast.  They played with toys they had brought, along with things they got from Santa, while Mikayla and Miranda helped the grandmothers make breakfast.

“Too many cooks,” Carolina cried.  “Mikayla, go be with your family.”

“Am I that bad a cook that you want me out?” Mikayla laughed.

“I can personally say that’s a no,” Justin replied from the living room.  “You’re a million times better than JC…”

“I think that’s an understatement,” JC laughed.  “I’ve gotten better over time, thanks to her, but still…”

“Mom, I wanna help,” Mikayla whined.

“Help by being out of the kitchen and enjoying time with your family.  I know you feel like you’re missing out sometimes, so take advantage of the chance now,” Carolina replied.

“Ok, you’re right,” Mikayla sighed.  She sat down on the couch between Justin and JC, watching the kids play on the floor in front of them.  Silas had become a deep sleeper, sleeping through the noise and excitement of opening stockings, but slowly started fussing as he woke up.

“I’ll check if he needs changing,” Justin said, getting up from the couch.  “If he’s hungry, I’ll hand him to you.”

“Do you need to feed him? I could do it,” JC offered. 

“I really should,” Mikayla sighed. “As much as I appreciate the help, the more he eats away from me, the more used to bottles he’ll get and not need me. I’m ok with pumping to let you guys have that chance, but to lose him wanting to nurse directly… I can’t describe it.”

“That makes sense. I hadn’t thought of it that way,” JC admitted. “Obviously, not being a woman I wouldn’t automatically think about that. I just know we’re glad to get that time with him, too.”

“There’s lots both of you do that’s quality time with him. Playing with him, either on your lap or doing tummy time, it all is meaningful.”

“I think he’s hungry, but he also needs a change,” Justin said to Mikayla. 

“Go with me to our room and we’ll get him taken care of,” Mikayla said. 

They walked out to the guest house, Justin grabbing stuff to change Silas’s diaper, Mikayla grabbing the Boppy and getting the pillows propped up to sit on the bed. 

They heard the door close, surprised to see JC. “You didn’t need to follow us in,” Mikayla sighed. 

“I don’t get to see this a lot, you being in Mommy mode. I know we’ve started our Wednesdays back up, but you’re staying at home with Justin and Silas every weekend while I get the twins. I don’t really get to see you like this, and I feel left out. I missed so much with the twins.”

Justin looked at JC, wondering if now was the time for him to tell her he wants another baby, to feel like a real father.

“I get that, and I’m sorry. The timing with this isn’t ideal. Things worked out well before he was born, but I can see how this could make you feel left out and a bit jealous.”

Justin finished changing Silas’s diaper, handing him to Mikayla to start nursing. “Maybe you and Silas could go every other weekend with the twins, like before. Give him a piece of what it’s like, see what he missed with the twins.”

“Would you want that?” Mikayla asked JC. “I know you’re getting a bit of it now, but there’s a lot more help.  He’d sleep in your room with us.”

“OUR room, it stopped being my room years ago.  Even with the twins we’d have had a monitor like you have with Silas.  I can handle a little lost sleep if it means having you around more.”

“It’s more than lost sleep, C.  It’s diapers and feedings and burpings; it's the middle of the night fussing.  It’s being exhausted even when you get to sleep in. It’s giving everything to someone who can’t reciprocate.”

“I want this, T.  I want to see what I missed out on, in so many ways.  I haven’t had a full night with her, just us, since before Silas was born. Don’t get me wrong, our little Wednesday arrangement is working, but she still goes home to you after. I won’t pretend anymore about how much that hurts, how cheap it feels.”

“Why haven’t you said anything, it’s been a few weeks now,” Mikayla sighed.

“Because I was at least getting to see you, have that time together, but realizing it might be the only time I get you for a long time, it just hit me really hard.  I love you, we’re doing this ceremony, but it’s not feeling even.  I know you’re actually married, that Silas is a priority right now, but it just…”

“C, I think we should give her our gift now,” Justin said.  “There’s no way she’s opening it in front of our families.”

“Ok, now I’m nervous,” Mikayla chuckled.

“Don’t be,” JC replied.  He walked to his suitcase, pulling out a medium sized bag.  He held it out to Mikayla, feeling a jolt as his fingers brushed hers as she took the bag.

With her free hand, she reached into the bag.  She pulled out a piece of paper.  “Larchmont Spa?”

“We’re getting a couples massage, this big thing, just the two of us,” Justin said.  “Super romantic, meant to rekindle romance.  It includes a couples massage, facials, we get chocolates, and a champagne bath.”

“Wow, that sounds incredible, and definitely relaxing.  But why is this from both of you?”

“Keep going,” JC suggested. 

“Why am I not surprised that you bought me lingerie?  Nothing like that is happening while we’re here, I don’t care that we’re in our own little cabin, it’s still close enough to the house that someone could hear something, and I don’t need my parents, or yours, hearing any of that.”

“Wear it with the dress you wore when we had our date a few weeks ago.  We’re doing something special for New Year’s Eve.”

“There’s more lingerie, specifically bras…” Mikayla said as she looked into the bag.

“Bralettes, that’s what the saleswoman called them.  I thought they might work well with Silas, feel more feminine than the nursing bras.  Something to wear out when you won’t have him so you feel like yourself,” JC said softly, suddenly wondering if it was a good choice.

“Thank you.  It’s hard sometimes to separate the parts of myself. I love being a mom, but I can't let that be all that I am.  I’m a wife, a woman in the prime of her life.  It helps keep me from being too focused that I lose myself, keeps our marriage fresh…”

“A lot of things have been keeping it fresh lately,” Justin chuckled.  “Not in ways I ever expected, but ya know.”

“I don’t think any of us would have imagined this a year ago.  It’s been almost 6 months.  Like every relationship, it’s had ups and downs, but we’ve made it work.  As long as what Mikayla and I have doesn’t mess with your marriage, it’s fine.”

“What are you saying, Josh?” Mikayla asked carefully.

“I know it sounds weird, but as much as I love you, he’s your legal husband.  If at any point that falls into question, of not staying married, I need to step away.  I love you, but imagine the media circus that would follow us if you divorced him to come back to me.  We either need to keep this going with the three of us, or it needs to be the two of you.  The world thinks we’re just coparenting, the moment anything more than that comes to light, Mikayla will be dragged through the mud so hard, and neither of us want that.”

“Agreed. I’m sorry I didn’t think about how Silas changed everything between us.  You were over a bit more to help with the twins and see us, but I didn’t think about the intimacy part of the relationship.”

“You said you worry every time she and the kids leave for my place, that one time they won’t come back.  I promise I won’t let that happen. I lost any right to have her once I said it was over between us. Once you got together, that was it. I can’t undo what I did, but I’ll be damned if I get in the way of your marriage.  I know, I already have, but if we can make this work, I will take what I can get. I’m not going to allow this to get any worse as far as taking her away from you, Justin.”

Mikayla looked at Justin. “I love you too much for that to happen. I’m sorry you worry, and it totally makes sense.  Know that I will always come back to you, to our family.  You’re stuck with me, Timberlake.”

Justin sat on the bed, wrapping an arm around her, squeezing gently. “You’re the one who’s stuck,” he said, kissing her forehead. 

“Stuck with both of us,” JC said, sitting down on the other side of Mikayla.

There was a soft knock on the door, it opening just a crack. “Breakfast is ready, come when you can,” Lynn’s voice said through the crack. 

“Thanks, Mom,” Justin replied, the door clicking shut again. 

“Silas is just about finished, go back out there and I’ll come when he’s done. I love you both, but if we make the twins wait any longer for presents, they might go crazy.”