“Daddy, what are we doing here?  I thought we were gonna do fun stuff for our birthday…” Joshy whined.

“Just trust me, Ithink you’ll like this,” Justin sighed.

“Daddy, it’s cold,” Barb complained as she got out of their vehicle.

“”We’ll be warm again in a minute,” Justin assured her.

They were bundled up in multiple layers, including big puffy jackets they put on once they parked.  They walked through the small packed dirt parking lot, seeing only large vans with even larger tires.  Mikayla saw the logo on the vans: Back Country Adventures, wondering what they would be doing.  Justin had made all the arrangements for the trip, so she had no idea what was planned for any part of their stay.

Justin walked into the office, the man inside greeting him with a hearty handshake and a smile.  The man grabbed keys from a board on the wall and walked out with Justin.

“Good morning,” the man said.  “I’ll be your guide for the day.  Let’s get in the van and head off, shall we?”

“Where are we going?” Barb asked.

“You’ll just have to find out, little lady,” he chuckled in reply.

Mikayla looked at the vehicle the man walked up to. It wasn’t just a regular van, it was like those airport shuttles, more fancy than just a van.  It had rows of individual seats, including a car seat already installed for Silas and booster seats for the twins.  Mikayla took off his little puffy jacket, buckling him in securely.  The seats were a plush, soft fabric, with seat belts that crossed their chest as well as their laps.  JC and Justin were each next to one of the twins, the twins having the window seats.  Mikayla was with Silas.  The van was bigger than they needed, but she knew they’d have felt cramped in a regular van.

The engine roared to life, the heat kicking in immediately.  The van backed up before heading onto a main road.  Within minutes she saw a large sign for Yellowstone National Park.  The man drove through the ranger station without stopping, just giving a quick salute to the ranger in the booth.  They followed roads as far as they could before going offroad.

The twins were excited, feeling like they were doing something dangerous by not being on the normal roads.  They looked around, even Mikayla being in awe of the majestic natural beauty around them.  She figured this must be how other people felt about Yosemite, seeing it for the first time.  Yosemite would always be her favorite place, but this was a pretty fantastic view.

The twins gasped as they saw herds of buffalo and deer crossing the large expanses of snow.  The adults all had phones out, taking pictures as the kids reacted to different things, Mikayla snapping pictures of things she found particularly beautiful.

Justin reached to rest his right hand on the back of his seat, wiggling his fingers at Mikayla.  She put her hand on top of his, smiling at the warmth and connection she felt.  They stayed inside the van for a while, before the man came to a stop.

“Alright, jackets on, everyone, you’re gonna need ‘em.”

They put their jackets on, heading out into the cold.  Thankfully it wasn’t windy on top of it all, cloudy but no chance of rain.  At first Mikayla wondered where they were going, until she saw a sign for Old Faithful.  It was something she’d always wanted to see, admittedly excited to see it in person.  

“Kids, make sure you stand back,” the man said.  “It doesn't look it, but something very hot and dangerous is going to happen soon.”  The twins eyes widened in awe at the thought of seeing something dangerous.

“Remember, we respect nature, and that means keeping our distance,” Justin reminded them, holding Joshy close to him.

They stood there, JC holding Barb’s thickly gloved hand in his, pressing harder than normal to feel her hand through the gloves.  They heard it first, a rush of sound before seeing the water shoot out of the ground, everyone gasping in awe of what was before them.  

‘That’s so cool,” Joshy sighed in amazement.

“It’s super hot, it could burn you, so we stay back.  That’s why it doesn’t freeze, because the water is too warm underground,” Justin told Joshy.

“What makes it do that?” Joshy asked the tour guide.  The man went into a long winded answer full of technical words, Joshy starting to get lost.  Justin simplified the explanation, Joshy smiling in understanding how it worked.  They got back into the van a few minutes after the spouting stopped.

They roamed the wilderness, seeing rivers cutting across the fields in twists and turns, looking like endless snakes winding their way across the snow.They saw more animals, along with people doing similar tours on snowmobiles.  Mikayla was glad they had a safer, warmer option with the van, an option the kids could be part of.

“I feel bad that Jackie isn’t with us for this,” Mikayla sighed.

“Don’t,” JC replied.  “She had… other plans for while we’re out.”

“I don’t need those images in my head, stop it!” Justin recoiled in disgust.

“She’s a beautiful woman, Justin,” Mikayla teased.

“Not as beautiful as you,” Justin replied.  “Still doesn't mean I should have mental images of her doing who knows what on our wifi…”

JC chuckled, messing with Justin was so much fun.  He knew exactly what Jackie was doing while they were out, and it had nothing to do with what Justin was imagining.  Well, not unless she used some downtime she might have.

They soon were back in the parking lot for the company, getting back into their vehicle and heading back to the house. The twins walked in, Justin and Mikayla not even knowing to expect anything.  So when they walked into the main living space, they were in awe.  

Streamers were everywhere, in every color. Wrapped around posts on the railing of the upper floors, reaching from the railing to the other end of the room, all meeting at one point on the railing and fanning along the wall that led outside. Balloons were all over the place; some on the walls, some just lying around the large room. 

“THIS is what Jackie was doing while we were out, Mr. Dirty Mind,” JC chuckled.

“How did YOU know and I didn’t?!” Justin asked in reply. 

“I finished getting ready first and I asked if she was coming with us since she wasn’t in warmer clothes to go out.”

“What did you THINK I was doing?” Jackie wondered. 

“Let’s say he was imagining a little something on the phone with Eli,” JC whispered. 

“Trying NOT to imagine it, to be more accurate,” Justin corrected. 

“I also made a cake for all of us. Two layers, funfetti cake and frosting with even more sprinkles on top. Bound to put you into a diabetic coma…”

“A what?!” Joshy asked, his nose crinkling. 

“She means it’s really sweet with a lot of sugar,” Mikayla answered. 

“Yay!” Joshy cheered. 

“After dinner. Did you guys eat while you were out?” Jackie asked. 

“No, we’ll do a light lunch so we don’t ruin dinner,” Justin replied. 

“What’s for dinner?” Joshy asked, curious.

“Pizza,” Jackie answered.

…

“Jackie, I thought you said we were having pizza for dinner.  What is all this?” Barb saw the kitchen counter full of bowls or open cans or various vegetables and meats.

“We’re going to make our own pizzas.  I’ve got toppings I know each of us like, and we’ll make our own pizzas.  We thought it might be fun for you guys to be part of the process beyond just eating it.”

“We’re all pretty good cooks, except for Daddy JC,” Mikayla teased.

“Hey, I try.”  JC raised his hands in surrender. “I never claimed to be a good cook, but I’ve learned a few things over the years I can do and not mess up.  I learned a lot from Mommy, things she’d make in her studio apartment when we first met.  She made pizzas like this for us a few times over the years.”

“What’s a studio apartment?  Is it like how both daddies have studios at home?” Joshy asked.

“No.  I’m not sure how it got that name, but it’s a super small apartment.  Your bedroom is also your living room, the kitchen is on one wall, and your bathroom is a small closet in the corner.  If you’re lucky, it has a bathtub and not just a shower stall.  Imagine a whole house the size of your bedroom,” Mikayla explained.  She had been so proud of herself for moving out of her parents’ home, but that seemed like a whole other lifetime ago given the houses she owned now, shocked that her name was attached to multiple mansion type houses.

“Some of my favorite memories were in that apartment,” JC smiled.  “Your mom and I had our first kiss in that apartment.  We spent a lot of time at her apartment since she lived closer to the school.”

“I remember feeling intimidated, that you wouldn’t like me because I could only afford such a small place,” Mikayla admitted.

“Teachers aren’t paid enough.  You did what you could.  You could have lived with your parents and we’d have made it work.  I still remember the first time we were in your apartment together…”

“So do I.  You’d just gotten texts from Justin about your album.”

“You let me come over and just held me.  You let me be upset and hurt, no expectations.  I felt safe and cared for, even though we’d basically just met.  We almost had our first kiss that night,” he smiled as he thought back on the beginnings of their relationship. They had come so far, and still had their lives ahead of them.

Justin was beginning to feel uncomfortable, their stories of the beginning of their relationship more romantic and real than his and Mikayla’s.  He fell for her in a second, but it took over 5 years and her being pregnant, alone, and scared for her to return any romantic feelings.  He’d quietly held onto his love for her for years, hoping he would get a chance, and it felt like it was slipping away from him again.

“I’m not hungry,” Justin grumbled, getting up and walking down the hall,

“I wonder what that was about,” Jackie sighed.

“I have a pretty good idea,” Mikayla replied.  The topic at hand made sense for why his face looked so deflated.  She was enjoying telling stories to the twins, helping them get to know their dad and their love story more.  She wouldn’t trade being with Justin for anything, but it wasn’t nearly the epic romance that she’d had with JC.  

JC could tell by the look on her face that this wasn’t going well.  “Kids, get started with your pizzas, Mommy and I need to go talk to Justin.”

“Maybe it should just be me, I think both of us going in might make him feel more like a third wheel,” Mikayla said quietly.  JC nodded, his heart heavy that this was weighing so heavily on Justin.

Mikayla began walking into every room on the first floor, knowing he hadn’t gone upstairs as he’d have seen them on the upper levels.  She was surprised when he wasn’t in his studio, going to music to escape or get things out.  She walked into the garage, seeing the car empty.  She went back inside into the master suite, checking the closets before finally finding him in the bathroom, tucked into the corner of the shower.

“Playing hide and seek, are we? That used to be my thing,” Mikayla sighed.

Justin looked up at her with curious eyes.  “What?”

“When I was in college, I had tons of friends but never felt like I fit in.  That I was invited because it would be rude not to be.  I’d be at church or the college bible study and they’d want to go out somewhere after.  I’d be invited along, but I never felt like I was part of the conversation.  So while they were all talking, I’d slip away unnoticed and hide nearby, to see if anyone missed me.  Usually I’d come back on my own after 5 minutes or so of no one looking for me, or at least no one finding me.  Drove Lawrence crazy when I did it once we started dating.”

“What’s your point, Kay?”

“I know how you’re feeling right now.”

“You really don’t.”

“Our origin story for our relationship is very different from mine with JC.”  She was thankful the shower wasn’t on, sitting next to Justin on the tile floor, leaning her back against the marble wall and against his body.  “But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“Why?  You and C had the perfect romance story.  Love at first sight, getting news that only brought you closer together…”

“That’s us, too, Justin.  You had the love at first sight, and I got news that brought us closer together.  Yes, it may feel very different in a lot of ways, but it is very similar in other ways.  We were friends first, not having to try and find common ground to make a relationship be more than sexual attraction.”

“You didn’t want to be with me right away.”

“Yes and no.  I’d just ended things with Josh, but I very much wanted more that night I called you, things got hot and heavy.  Once I knew how you felt, it let me act on years of pent up feelings.”

“Teenage fangirl feelings.”

“You saying it was any different for you with some of the women you’ve had flings with?  We’ve gone over your history pretty extensively, I know you know who I’m talking about without even saying her name.  That’s no different.  Actually, maybe it is. Because I got to know you on a much deeper level before things got to that.  You were my friend long before we became lovers, but that doesn’t mean I felt nothing for you all that time.  I loved JC, I wasn’t about to cheat on him when I knew things with Jess weren’t going well, eventually ended.  Even still, I never would have pictured myself with you anyway.  Even being friends, I still never felt like I was worthy of being with you beyond that.  Once I knew how you felt, that changed a lot of things.  Once I found out I was pregnant, things shifted again.  I wanted to give things a try with Josh, for the baby, but once he closed that door, and you hadn’t changed how you felt about me, I knew it was now or never.”

“Did you really think I’d find someone else?”

“You’d found Jess the first time.  Josh and I were still very new when you and I first met.  It would have been a blow to his pride if I’d dumped him for you, but again, I didn't think I stood a real chance with you, even with you kissing me.  That once you found out who I was, I was no longer an option.  To be honest, the only reason I didn’t fight more and slap you or something was because I knew it was you.  I’d wanted to know what kissing you felt like since I was 16, Justin.  To know, only to be reminded I was dating JC, it made things complicated.  I knew I couldn’t have you, not really, and that doing so would hurt Josh.  We have a beautiful love story, too, Justin.  I’ll make sure the twins get to know it well.”

“I guess you DO know how I feel,” he sighed.  “I can't help but see all these things that seem to say you two were meant to be together, that maybe I should step back and let you be together…”

“I feel the same way, T.”  JC’s voice surprised them both.  He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom, out of their view in the shower, even from the mirror.  He walked into the large bathroom and found them fully dressed sitting in the corner.  “I gotta admit I was expecting less clothing, if not feeling like I was interrupting something.  I see you two together, with the twins and Silas, and sometimes I feel like I’m intruding.  I’m their real dad, but they’ve got a great surrogate dad that they wouldn’t have known the difference.  Kay could have told me about the twins and we could have just left things the way they were.  I’d know they existed, but that was it.”

“You wouldn’t have wanted things that way,” Justin said.  “You wanted Kay back.”

“If she’d told me before we slept together again, things might have been different.  If she’d told me in anger, using it as another thing you had over me…”

“Josh, not helping.  I told you not to be part of this, to let me handle it.  Now the twins are making their dinner with Jackie and all of us are in here.”

“I made their pizzas with them, they're in the oven.  The pizzas, not the kids.”

“We should get back out there.  Justin, do you feel any better about things now?”

“A bit, yeah.  I still feel like I don’t measure up to JC in certain ways, that our love story doesn’t come close.”

“It does, Justin. For me it does.  Like I said, they’re different but also similar.  I wouldn’t trade the life I have now for anything, and that includes being your wife and Silas’s mom.  We’d have quietly divorced if that weren’t the case. Let’s get back to the kids, finish celebrating their birthday.”

A thought occurred to JC.  It’s Valentine’s Day.  We need to celebrate on our own once the kids go to bed…