“Why am I so nervous?” Jenna asked.  “It’s just pizza and TV night…”

“Because you like him,” Kim said as their class was packing up.  

“Kim, we’ve been over this…”

“You don’t talk about any other guy but Josh.  I’m just glad I finally got a name out of you.  I still have yet to even see a picture of the guy.”

“I’m glad we’re not on dismissal duty this week.  I can go meet him and not worry about him being seen.”

“Why can’t we see him?  Not even me?”

“It’s… complicated.”

“Try me,” Kim said.

“It’s JC, from *NSYNC.”

“I’m sorry I didn't tell you about Justin a couple days ago, but to say that to get me to drop it…”

Jenna wanted to defend herself, but she also wanted to drop it if Kim didn’t believe her.

Jenna’s phone buzzed. I’m here.  See you soon?

Yeah.  I’m gonna walk my class out and then I’ll head over.

Their class finished packing up, beating their timer.  “You know what that means,” Jenna smiled.

“DANCE PARTY!” the kids yelled.  They put their backpacks down and went to the large carpet.  Jenna pulled out her phone and played Pop and Bye Bye Bye.  The class then got their things and lined up, Kim leading them outside.  Jenna took up the rear, walking out the gate with her things once her class was in place for dismissal.

She walked down the street, seeing the overflow of parents' cars coming to pick up.  She wasn’t paying attention, walking towards their designated meeting spot.  She heard a honk, turning her head to see JC’s Jeep in line.

“I’m here to pick up from the school,” he smiled.

“You’re lucky you’re still on the street, that no one can see you,” Jenna said, getting in the car.

“I don’t know why you’re so bothered by us being seen together…”

“Because you have a girlfriend!  I don’t want pictures up everywhere that I split you guys up, the fandom would hate me.  People love you and Jen together, myself included.  I admit she wasn’t super nice to me last week, but…”

“She was definitely not in the best headspace that night,” JC sighed, remembering what happened in crystal clear detail, almost reliving it every day when he’d look at a part of his home where something of hers had been, seeing the space empty.  

“Is everything ok?”  Jenna wondered.

“She’ll be fine. She was admittedly intimidated by you, I think.  I made it clear to her how I felt.”  He might have shifted who his feelings were for, but he knew in his car was not the time or place for that discussion.  It had only been a week since the breakup, he wasn’t ready to be with anyone else, even if it was the woman he was crazy about.  His relationship with Jen needed some respect, she’d been the love of his life, or so he thought.  To jump right into something so soon felt like it had all meant nothing.  

“Intimidated by ME?  She knows who she is, who she’s dating, right?  I doubt I’d look half as glamorous as she does in those fancy dresses, she makes it all look so effortless…”

“Trust me, a lot goes into all of that, even for me.”

“Well, even with a team of professionals, I couldn’t pull that shit off.  Once they leave, at the event, I’d be a hot mess express.”

“I doubt that.  You looked great last week, super confident, like you were the woman you want to be and never get to be.  Between you singing at karaoke, to dancing and having fun, like you really just relaxed into who you really are, not hiding anything from the world.”

“I’d say it was the alcohol, but I only had one drink the whole night.  I do notice I’m a better version of myself when I’m singing.  I can’t dance for shit, though.  I try.  I’d say that’s why guys don’t stick around, but I’ve had plenty of coffee dates not go well, so that can’t be it.”

They got to her apartment building, going up to her place to start watching Friends, ordering their pizza later.  Jenna grabbed a beer for JC, keeping it stocked in the fridge just for him.

‘Worst first date ever?” JC wondered.

“Hmmm.  There’s a couple.  I mean, it couldn't be THAT bad cuz I had a second date with both of them…  Ok, be ready, this is crazy.  Ok, maybe not CRAZY, but…”  She collected her thoughts.  “We met online, had talked for a bit beforehand if memory serves.  We agreed to go on a date, grab dinner and see where the night took us.  We went to a deli for dinner, then we drove in our own cars to a Jamba Juice.  I had never white the White Gummy Bear before, so he had me get it.  Wait, maybe it was the pink Starburst one.  Something based on a candy I loved, it was yummy.  Anyway, we decided to go see a movie at a small theater right by where we’d had dinner.  We decided to see Date Night, with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey…”

“Yeah, I’ve seen it.  It was pretty funny.”

“Well, you know the scene in the strip club?  We’re about halfway into the scene when I notice his eyes are closed.  I think we were holding hands or something, and he asked me to tell him when the scene was over.  So I now feel uncomfortable sitting next to a man that can’t even watch a movie where there’s no nudity, but women dressed in skimpy outfits.  I mean, it was rated R, and didn’t seem like it would be THAT kind of movie to have anything explicit.  So I’m watching to make sure it’s over, my eyes keep flitting over to him, his eyes still closed.  The movie ends, and we go home.”

“No kiss?” JC asked.

“Maybe a hug, but no kiss.  You could imagine my surprise when a couple days later he asks me on another date.”

“Did that one go better?”

“Yes and no.  He told me he’d pick me up at 7AM, and we drove to the beach.  Well, not just any beach, Santa Monica.  It’s super early, the only people out there were fishing, and even then we didn’t go onto the pier.  We went onto the beach and walked along the shore.  It was kinda romantic, I won’t lie, basically just us and the beach.  Nothing much was open, so we left after a bit, not even getting anything to eat.  He took me to this nice park, and we walked around a bit, talked.  Then he took me home.  Again, no kiss.”

“Sounds like a pretty great date though,” JC said.

“I thought so, but then he ghosted me.  I found out a few years ago, once I started doing karaoke, that he married a girl from his church and they’ve got a couple kids.  So definitely not in the cards.”

“And the other guy?”

“The date itself wasn’t bad, I’ll probably seem really petty.  Again, we met online and talked a bit.  We met at a sushi restaurant.  I hate sushi, I’ll get teriyaki chicken or the shrimp stuff since it’s cooked.  We talked about anime and things, but I couldn’t get past two things.  At that point, his hair was longer than mine was, and well…”

“What?”

“Ok, this is gonna be a weird reference point, but the best I could give.  His normal speaking voice sounded like something on helium doing a Mickey Mouse voice.  I’m a first soprano, so I have a pretty high singing voice, but when a man’s speaking voice is a higher register than mine, it was… off putting.”

“But you went on a second date with him.”

“I did, 6 weeks later.”

“It took him THAT long to ask you out again?”

“He’s in tech, computers or gaming or something.  He’d just started a new company with some of his friends, so he’d been super busy.  Again, no kiss after our first date.  None of the guys I dated kissed me on the first date.  But we went to a Chinese place I love, it was very short notice.  Like ‘hey, are you free tonight?  Can you meet for dinner in an hour?’ type short notice.  He let me pick where we ate, so I went for something similar but also I was more comfortable with.  Everything was fine, I think he might have actually liked me, but his schedule wouldn’t allow for much of a relationship, and I couldn’t get past his voice and hair.”

“Is my hair too long?” JC asked, running his fingers through his hair, self conscious.

“No, I love your look.  You do whatever you want, JC.  You look great no matter what.”

“You’re too kind.”

“I saw the TikTok you posted, you just know how to blow up the internet and get fans in a tizzy.”

“Yeah, I keep seeing stuff like ‘silver fox’.  I’m not even 50, am I too young to go full gray?”

“Whatever you wanna do, JC.  You’ve had some… interesting looks over the years.  I think we can handle this.”

“Define ‘interesting’...”

“Your soul patch phase, the Karen hair.  I mean, your hair is just as long as then, but it’s styled differently.”

“The soul patch was my ‘teenage dirtbag’ phase, as the social media craze right now goes.”

“You should do one!  Lord knows there’s enough pictures online and what you must have of your own memories with the guys or solo…”

‘I don’t even know where to start on stuff like that.  Maybe you should run my social media stuff…”

“I get ideas but have no follow through or even knowhow to do so.  But yeah…”

“Going back to your stories, those guys were idiots not to see what was right in front of them.”

“Now YOU’RE the one being too kind.”

“When was the last date you went on?”

“Pre COVID.”

“How many relationships have you been in?”

“A handful.  I was kinda in one a few years after Steve, my ex.  But it wasn’t my thing.  He wanted to be casual, and I’m a commitment type girl.  Turns out I chose correctly, he was dating 4 girls at once…”

“I get it,” JC said.  “On the one hand you wanna have fun, see what your options are, but once you find someone you really click with, that should be it, ya know?  That was me and Jen.  I wanted casual for a long time after Eva, and eventually Jen was like ‘you’re in or you’re out’.  I didn’t want to lose her, so I went all in.”

“Think you’ll ever get married?”

“Probably not.  The way things are, I’m happy.”

“Then that’s what matters.  You ready to jump back into the show?”

“Yeah.”  He was sitting next to her on the couch, leaving a little room between them. He wondered if he was trying too hard to not give away his feelings for her.

His phone buzzed. Hey, wanna bring Jenna over tomorrow? She wanted to meet the twins…

“Hey,” JC began, “you wanna go to Lance’s tomorrow?  Meet the twins, hang out a bit?”

“Sure.  Let me know if I need to bring anything.”

“Just yourself is fine, but I’ll ask,” JC smiled. 

Yeah. Need us to bring anything?

There’s an “us” now?  Bout damn time!

No, it’s not. No “us” us, but I’m sure I’m not just dropping her off at your place by herself…

I mean, you could… one of us would drive her home or something.  It’s warm still, wanna go for a swim? Let’s shoot for noon? Hang out and tire out the twins for their nap… Just bring yourselves, I’ll have Lisa pick something up.

Sounds good. See you then.

“Don’t need to bring anything. Well, a bathing suit. Lance thought it would be fun to wear out the twins in the pool before their afternoon nap.”

“They’re almost a year old already.  That’s crazy…”

“They’re so cute, such personalities already.”

“Do you see them a lot?”

“I stayed away for a bit. I felt intimidated a bit, I dunno. I didn’t see my nieces right away, either. Newborns are just so… little. I was scared I’d break them the first time I held them.”

“They’re pretty resilient, actually. Most of the time you’re sitting with them anyway, so it wouldn’t be that bad.  That’s actually your protective instinct kicking in, knowing to be careful with them. Sometimes it almost over-corrects into TOO careful.”

“They’re excited to see you again, have you meet the twins.  Further proof you really are one of us.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m a charity case. Justin told me about you two getting me my job.”

“Just the interview.  When did you talk to him?”

“He came to back to school night this week, knowing I would be there. Probably gave Silas’s teacher and some of the moms a thrill that he showed up instead of sending the nanny or something.  He told me he came just to meet me.”

“Chris is excited to meet you next month, he’s super curious about you.  You’re staying at the casino?”

“Yeah, Friday night and Saturday night, I’ll fly back here Sunday so I’m home in time for school on Monday.”

“I’m sure he’ll want to hang out, so be prepared for that.  Ok, nicest place you’ve been to on a date…”

“Why all these questions about my dating life?”

“Just making small talk,” JC shrugged, knowing full well it was more than that.

“I mean, I was in college at that point…”

“At 25? Do you have a Masters?”

“I wish. I didn’t get good guidance on what to take at community college, so when I thought I was about ready to graduate, I was still missing half my classes needed.  Similar thing once I transferred to the university, I didn’t have a guidance counselor so I ended up taking the same classes I’d already taken.  Took me 8 and a half years, but I did it.  My parents met in community college. Dad never finished, mom got her AA, but that was it. They’ve worked together since 1977 I think?  Met while opening a JCPenney at one of the malls, then found companies where they could work together.”

Jenna started to blush.  “What?” JC wondered. 

“I have a habit of telling these long winded stories that have nothing to do with anything.”

“It was still on topic.  So nowhere fancy?”

“No.  I was broke, the guys I dated were broke, our friends were broke. My idea of a big night out was going to Red Lobster or Olive Garden, Buca di Beppo when I got older…”

“Ever go to any of those on a date?”

“No.”

“Not even with Steve?”

“No. We saved up for a group trip to Disneyland with friends, that’s where he proposed.  He was so nervous I’d find the ring in his pocket that he made a beeline for the castle.  Even then… sorry.”

“For what?”

“This is where my dates would go bad, talking about Steve.”

“I asked, so keep going.”

“I don’t even know if he asked. Half our group went to Disneyland, the other half went to California Adventure.”

“They didn’t know he was proposing?”

“He never got to tell them, I was always around.  So we’re taking pictures in front of the castle. I'm posing with our friend’s wife.  Steve was holding something of mine, hands it to me, then pretends to tie his shoe. I turn around and he’s on one knee with the box and the ring in his hands.  Other people were cheering for us, I’m sure I’m in other people’s vacation photos.  At least they can imagine we lived happily ever after.”

“You’ll get that, someday.”

“I’m…” she hesitated.  “I’m 39, JC.  It’s just not in the cards.”

“You don’t know that. May I say you look great for your age. Ok, that came off weird.  I didn’t even think you were 35, to be honest.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, sir,” she teased. “Enough talking, let’s start watching the show. It’s almost time to order pizza at this point…”

They started watching the next episode, getting through season 1 and into season 2. JC wondered if Jenna would be like Rachel if she figured out his feelings for her, or someone said something.  He wasn’t really sure what he felt, wanting to hold onto what he’d had with Jen, but knowing there was a pull towards Jenna.

They ordered pizza, eating as they watched. Jenna had fallen asleep on his shoulder, JC wrapping his arm around her to be more comfortable. She curled into his embrace, everything feeling right. 

JC sighed. I don’t know how, I don’t know when… but I know I want more with Jenna.