JC sat in his Jeep outside Jenna’s apartment for a good 30 minutes trying to get himself together. Finally he pushed the starter and the Jeep roared to life.  He pulled away from the curb and set his sights on going anywhere other than his house.  

While he made his way to Highway 101, a phone call came through on his bluetooth. 

“Hey. I just called to check up on Jenna.” Lance’s voice boomed into the car.

“She’s ok. I actually just left there. She is much better,” JC said, trying not to think about last night or what had just happened between them. 

“You spent the night? How’d that go?” Lance asked. 

“She slept through the night,” he said nervously.

“C. What’s going on? Are you Ok?” 

“I didn’t sleep very well. I was worried about her. “ He lied. 

“Ok, Well, I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was ok with her. I’ll let you go and get some rest,” Lance said, ending the call.

He continued to drive north on The PCH, not really knowing where he was going . Just that he needed to clear his head. 

...

He drove until the gas light dinged in the Jeep. He looked around and realized that he was a long way from home, and he was still not in his right mind. He pulled off at the first gas station that he found and gassed up, then later pulled off the highway when he saw a stretch of beach that looked secluded.

He sat there in the Jeep for a long time, staring blankly out over the water. 

His phone ringing broke him out of his trance.  He looked down and saw that it was a FaceTime from Justin.

He sighed and slid the icon to the right and answered the call. 

Justin looked less than thrilled to be making this call. 

"Hey, what the hell do you keep taking off for? This is the second time in a month," he said, exasperated. “If this is about Jenna, just fuck her and get yourself out of this misery you’re in.”

JC felt his blood start to boil. He was not in the mood to have this conversation with Justin or anyone for that matter.

"Will you fucking just stop?!" he said, "If that's all you called me about, I'm hanging up." 

"No. Don't hang up, man. I'm sorry.  I'm just worried about you. Jenna called me when you didn't call her this afternoon.  She said you acted funny when you left the apartment. She said you went home so you could walk Bronson, and you weren't at home. I went there an hour ago, and you weren't home earlier today.  Where are you?”

"I'm at a beach in San Simeon.  I had to drive to try and get out of my head.  After I saw her naked last night, I can't get her outta my head." 

Justin was shocked to say the least.  "You saw Jenna naked and you didn't tap that ass? Maybe you did lose your mind or something, man." 

"She had a seizure at Lance’s place last night.  I took her home and stayed with her. She said she was hot. Then she got up and proceeded to strip for me. Not in her right mind, I might add. Then told me to get comfortable. I had to talk her down and make her put on a t- shirt and underwear. I think I slept about 2 seconds last night. "

"Is she ok?"  

"Yeah, She was fine this morning when I left. She has no idea what she did. I didn't tell her. She asked me to look at her, I couldn’t help BUT look  at her…  She wanted me to let her have one fantasy come true…"

"Fuck, yeah, I’d be wound up too.  You wanna do everything and nothing at the same time.  And you still haven't told her about Jen leaving, have you? "

"No." JC shook his head back and forth.

“Do you ever plan on telling her?” Justin asked, obviously perturbed.

“In my own time.”

“Or to use as an excuse not to be with her? Why can’t you just be with her, C? You both know that’s what you want deep down,”  Justin said, rubbing his brows. 

“I know that, now that I know how she feels, unfiltered. I don’t know why I can’t tell her. “ 

“Do you want me or Kelly, or maybe Michael or Lance to tell her?”

"No. It needs to come from me. I guess with all of the seizures she's had because of me lately,  I'm afraid it will trigger another one. It was scary.  The one she had came out of nowhere. "

 "C. I really don't think you caused her to have a seizure. "

"Maybe not, but I'm still worried about her.”

"Because you are in love with her, C."

He hung his head, knowing that Justin was right. He was head over heels in love with this girl and needed to stop fighting it so hard .

"You're right,” he replied.  He looked at the clock In the jeep. It said 5:30 pm.

"I've got a long drive ahead of me. I should go.  Thanks for talking me down again, T."

"No problem. Go get your girl."  

JC smiled and ended the call.

…

She woke up to the buzzer from downstairs ringing. Getting up off the couch, she answered.

"It's almost 11 o'clock, this better be good…”

"Jenna, It's me. Please, can I come up?"

"The door is unlocked,” she said, buzzing him in..

She heard the door open, and she stood up and practically ran to him, hugging him tightly.

“I was so worried about you. Are you ok? " she said, looking up at him, trying to read him.

He didn't say anything, just held onto her.

"JC, what’s wrong?" He was almost trembling.  She could tell he was really upset.

" Jen left," he replied, not even looking at her, just relieved that he had finally told her.

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. This is my fault."  She dropped her arms from him and walked away.

Shit. I knew she was gonna think this was her fault.

"Jenna. This was not your fault. It was mine." 

"You’re sure?” she asked, her violet eyes full of tears.

"I'm sure." He opened his arms up to her, and she fell into them. She looked up at him, he looked exhausted .

She pulled him by the hand down to her bedroom door.

"Jenna, no…”

"Come in.  Let's go to sleep." She led him to the bed, he laid down, clothes and all.

"JC, you can't be comfortable like that." 

"I'm fine. Get in," he said, pulling the blankets up. She settled into his arms, and snuggled up  against his warm body. 

...

He spent the better part of 12 hours sound asleep in Jenna’s bed. Truth be told,  there was no place he'd rather be than with her. 

He opened his eyes to find that she was gone. He picked up his phone and looked to see what time it was.  It was well after noon. He sat up and stretched, and got up off the bed in search of the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the mirror, seeing just how tired he looked. He had needed the sleep, that was for sure. 

He walked into the living room, the quiet of the apartment was almost deafening.  Yet he felt more at home there than in his own home.  He smelled coffee, knowing it would be cold.  But coffee was coffee, and he could use some right about now.  He’d told her part of the truth, now he needed to come out with the rest.  As hard as it was to tell her Jen had left, he felt it harder to tell her he was in love with her.  She had been so open and vulnerable with him, literally naked in front of him, and he couldn’t tell her.  He was afraid of setting her off again.  Hell, she might think he made up Jen leaving to justify wanting to sleep with her and “cheat” on his girlfriend.  

He walked to the coffee maker, finding it still warm, almost fresh.  There was a folded note with his name on it with a mug over one corner.  He pulled the note free, opening it slowly.  In the most perfect handwriting he’d ever seen, he read her words to him.

JC, I’m not sure what time you’ll wake up, so I hope the coffee is still warm. I tried to set it for later in the morning.  Since it’s Monday, I’m at work, but believe me when I say I’d rather be at home.  Call it being chicken, taking the easy way out by leaving it in a note, something you might not even see or read, but I like you.  More than I should.  I hope Jen leaving isn’t because of me, but part of me is relieved.  You can come over whenever you want.  I doubt you feel the same way, I felt how much you were shaking just telling me she left, this must have you shaken up pretty bad.  But I figure you should know.  I know we’re just friends, I’m not your type, but you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  Enjoy the coffee and feel free to throw this note in the trash, assuming you read it at all.  Jenna

He wasn’t about to throw the note away, not now, not ever.  This was the kind of thing you held onto, showed your kids and grandkids in memories of how you met the love of your life.  Is that what Jenna was?  As much as he thought Jen had been that for him, the pull he felt for Jenna was more intense, not just because it was new.  He knew he’d never felt this for anyone, not even Jen.  As much as that broke his heart a little, he hoped this meant there was a chance for him to be really, truly happy with someone.