Jenna had watched out her window as JC left earlier that day, honestly curious how long he would wait before leaving.  She kicked herself for not opening her bedroom door when he knocked, or telling him to come in, but it just hurt too much.

She knew that was never an option, but to hear it from his mouth, over and over in one day.  She had fallen asleep after he left, having no appetite and needing sleep to let her body heal.  Jenna lay on her back, looking up at the ceiling, contemplating how her life was shitty one moment, great for a sliver of a second, then back to shit so quickly.

She heard the front door, realizing how late it was, Kelly finally being home.  She heard a soft knock on her door, Kelly poking her head in.

“There’s no dishes out anywhere, no proof you were home.  Just wanted to check you were here.”

“Where else would I be?” Jenna sighed.  “Not like my hero is an option…”

“Ok, something happened, and I need to know, now.”

“He took me out to eat, then we came back here.”

“Oooh, some Netflix and chill?”

“No. He made that very clear. We got through one episode of Friends.  We started talking, and he said some really nice things about me. He said ‘who wouldn’t like you?’”

“And you went into self sabotage mode…”

“I told him about Steve…”

“Oh, honey, tell me you didn’t.”

“I did. He looked at me after, he looked like he was hurting for me.  He hugged me, told me I was worth more than that.  Then he kissed me.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing. I asked why he kissed me, he said so I knew I was worth something. I brought up his girlfriend, and he said the kiss wasn’t romantic…”

“Oh, Jenna…”

“I’ve just been this pity case.  I wish he’d just never entered my life. Been some random guy that called 911, but then I never got to meet.  Instead…”

“You got your hopes up.”

“No.  I knew right away nothing would happen like that. He’s way too good looking.”

“Describe him,” Kelly pressed. 

“Mid 40s, takes good care of himself. Longish hair for a guy, but not like ponytail long. Between his ears and his shoulders.  Got the salt and pepper thing going, facial hair.  Killer blue eyes. Seriously, he's like out of a movie handsome.”

“Did you get a picture of him, or the two of you together?”

“No,” she gasped, realizing she had a bittersweet memory and no proof. If she wanted to forget it ever happened, she very well could. She didn’t want to forget, as much as it hurt.

“Well, maybe it’s for the best.  I dunno, he’s either trying really hard to convince you that it’s platonic, or to convince himself…”

“I just… I thought he liked me. I mean, not like that, but…”

“It took away that possibility, yeah.  You got his number, obviously, give him a couple days and text him or something.”

“I scared him off, I always do this. Even if he wanted to be friends, he clearly felt weird around me that it needed to be clarified. I can’t just meet a hot, established guy and find someone to settle down with, or even have as a friend.  He introduced me to one of his best friends this morning, and he said I was cool.  He owns the restaurant we went to so I got great treatment.  But to get such a short window of time where my life feels great for a while, only to come crashing down around me again…”

She started to shake, her eyes glossing over. “Jenna, oh god…” Kelly got Jenna onto the floor, letting her ride out the seizure. It wasn’t a grand mal, but did last for a while. 

Kelly kept an eye on Jenna while also getting her medications.  She opened the bottles, seeing one last pill in each bottle, her heart sinking.  She knew money was tight for Jenna, but to not have her refills, risking her health like that, it had to be bad.

She called the hospital, hoping to get something ready for when they arrived so she could go right in and not have to wait in the ER.  She was grateful for the elevator in their building, not having to take her down flights of stairs to get out. 

An hour later, Jenna was sleeping in a hospital bed, again.  Kelly was exhausted from her shift, then literally dragging her best friend in.  She grabbed Jenna’s phone, going through her recent calls out texts. She saw a string from “ Josh-Guardian Angel” and opened it. 

Hey, just giving you a heads up that Jenna is back in the hospital. She had a breakdown when I got home and is on the last of her meds. I don’t know if you wanna see her, but just letting you know. Play the boyfriend card again if you need to, but she’s not in the same unit as last time, thank god.  

Kelly gave her name and number just in case before putting the phone down and going home. 

…

JC woke up the next morning, surprised he slept at all the night before.  He was sure he hadn’t dreamed about her, but he couldn’t get Jenna out of his mind. He felt guilty about what he’d said, how he’d said it.  He just wanted to comfort her, be a friend.  

I guess BEING a friend while saying it was a bit much. She’d already said she liked me and Jen together.  I just wish she’d had a little more confidence in herself. Being unemployed probably didn’t help, then everything with that ex.  I don’t know how long ago that was, so maybe things are still fresh.  I can’t imagine being in that position. Even with my exes, we run in similar circles, we’re bound to see each other once in a while.  But to make people choose a side… 

He reached for his phone, his eyes lighting up at seeing a missed text from Jenna. His eyes widened as he read it.  Jenna was back in the hospital, and he felt like it was his fault. He’d saved her, only to hurt her.  

He sat up, looking at Jen sleeping beside him.  He couldn’t let go of this, he had to make things right somehow. 

He waited for Jen to leave for work before heading for the hospital.  He checked in with the front desk to see where she was, then checked in at the nurse’s station in her section.   Jenna was sleeping, JC catching her doctor.

“She’s running low on her medications.  Can I arrange for like 6 months worth to be bought so she has enough?”

“It doesn’t work like that, unfortunately.  We can write the prescriptions again and you can set up an automatic payment to go through each month. You can set that up while she’s sleeping so you’ll have time with her later.”

“Thanks,” JC said quietly, having no intention of seeing her and risk hurting her again. He wanted to make sure she was ok, but he wanted to give her some space. He wasn’t sure he should get too close, ruining things again by sticking his foot in his mouth.  He’d give her a few days, see if she reached out. If she did, he’d try again. If she didn’t, she clearly wasn’t interested in being friends, not that he’d blame her.

He went down to the pharmacy, getting things set up on auto pay. He then pulled out his phone.

Kelly,

I went to see Jenna. She was asleep, which is probably for the best. I didn’t mean to hurt her, and I’m sorry that it led to another seizure.  I am covering her prescriptions, she just needs to call to renew each month. If she asks, you’re paying for it, or something. Don’t tell her I am, I’m worried she’ll take it the wrong way. None of this was ever out of pity, but genuine concern that she was safe. I didn’t want her to think I was looking for some kind of reward for what I did, expecting her to sleep with me or anything like that. She’s great, and I’d like to get to know her more, but I worry me being around will only hurt her more. I’ll wait for her to text me, if she ever does. Don’t tell her, I want it to be genuine, not because she feels she has to, for my sake. If she never wants to talk to me again, I’ll be sad, but I’ll understand. Please let me know if she needs anything else, I want her to be taken care of. 

Josh

He walked back to Jenna’s hospital room, watching her sleep from the doorway for a few minutes.  She looked peaceful, as if none of the pain he’d accidentally caused had never happened.  He left before she woke up, hoping he’d hear from her again, someday.